Be Afraid.

[Dstorage]

In the first post, you said you don't think D's size each other up or compete much.

In the second post, you talked about being in a circle of D's at a gathering comparing notes on who can make subs cum longest.

So, I'm going to put you down for a "Yes".

To something.

Hmmm,

My interpretation of what Fungi said in his first thread was that competing in a group to decide a pecking order is a rather immature behavior, I think that was the gist rather than quantifying said behavior.

In his second post, he talked about being in a chat room. I am sure you are aware that chat rooms are a totally alternate reality to a physical gathering, right? Again his point, or my interpretation thereof, is that anyone can claim supreme dominance in this cyber world, but that coes not directly correlate with the real world, so cyber discussions of dominance such as this thread by nature are more or less invalid.

 

[Dstorage]

I think you've illustrated that in mixed kink company, male D's will probably compete.

A more accurate rephrasing would be:
I think you've illustrated that in mixed kink company, insecure male D's will probably compete.

Yup, just like being in Junior High school again, aint it?

 

[Lancecastor]

A more accurate rephrasing would be:
I think you've illustrated that in mixed kink company, insecure male D's will probably compete.

Yup, just like being in Junior High school again, aint it?

I don't think competition and insecurity are a matched set.

Example: Does Lance Armstrong compete because he is insecure or because he wants to see if he can win?

If you are suggesting that all Male:Male competition is a display of insecurity, I'd suggest you are wrong.

A lot of the junior high stuff that occurs on the BDSM forum happens because some of the posters are junior high students. 13-16 year old boys posing as horny submissives is very common.

If the indices of debate, syntax, comprehension, spelling and grammar are consistently low...well, you're either aruging with a child, or possibly a moron like ~Dream~, for example.

Takes all kinds!

 

[A Desert Rose]

... If the indices of debate, syntax, comprehension, spelling and grammar are consistently low...well, you're either aruging with a child, or possibly a moron like ~Dream~, for example.

Takes all kinds!

Oh fuck me... I swore I'd never do this but, that statement's just screaming at me to say...

I almost peed my panties when I read it.

HOW TRUE!!!!

 

[Lancecastor]

Oh fuck me... I swore I'd never do this but, that statement's just screaming at me to say...

I almost peed my panties when I read it.

HOW TRUE!!!!

The best part is, I spelled arguing wrong.

It won't be long before ~Dream~ is having my internet baby, I guess.

 

[Netzach]

1. Thanks...viewed without preconception it's a scenario we see play out all the time in clubs, at parties, in offices...

2. Incorrect again, but it was an easy way for me to persuade those of your ilk to participate, if only superficially.

3. I thought it'd be good for a giggle and you seem like the sort that rarely laughs at herself, only others..so, you're welcome.

What's "my ilk"? I'd love to know, most of my friends differ radically from me.

I have no problem laughing at the stupid things I do, quite contrary to what you've gathered about me from my begging to differ.

Much like your sig line kinda encapsulates, it doesn't prohibit me from laughing at the stupid things other people do too. I'm just part of the trend.

Cheers.

N.

 

[FungiUg]

Again his point, or my interpretation thereof, is that anyone can claim supreme dominance in this cyber world, but that coes not directly correlate with the real world, so cyber discussions of dominance such as this thread by nature are more or less invalid.

Wow! I wish I'd thought of that...

 

[FungiUg]

I almost peed my panties when I read it.

Dammit Lancecastor, try harder! We almost got a pair of peed panties!

 

[FungiUg]

Despite rumours to the contrary, my post wasn't deep and meaningful, but once again demonstrates my ability to totally muddle what I meant to say. It's a gift, I tell ya!

So, in simple language, my points are thus:

1. competition does exist, does happen, but it isn't as common (I feel) as implied, and is resented when it does happen.

Wow, all of that and I only had the one point to make. Sheesh.

Okay, here's another thought on the original topic -- is competition a Domly thing? I think it's one of those "your mileage/kilometreage will vary" things, and depends a lot on the motivation of the Dom.

For me personally, being a Dom is about control. And I am in control. In a group, I don't feel the need to compete as I control what I want to control already -- on the other hand, I might well feel the need to show off.

Showing off is a VERY common Dom behaivour I think. How it differs to competition I will leave as an exercise to the reader (because some of these readers think better than I do!)

Now, the bit I haven't seen answered well is... how do Subs react when a new Dom walks in the room? Anyone?

 

[rosco rathbone]

I don't think competition and insecurity are a matched set.

Example: Does Lance Armstrong compete because he is insecure or because he wants to see if he can win?

If you are suggesting that all Male:Male competition is a display of insecurity, I'd suggest you are wrong.

Indeed, one could just as well suggest the opposite, eh? That fear of competition & struggle and thus a sort of "artificial peace" were the real signs of insecurity.

*strokes chin*

 

[shy slave]

Okay, here's another thought on the original topic -- is competition a Domly thing? I think it's one of those "your mileage/kilometreage will vary" things, and depends a lot on the motivation of the Dom.


Showing off is a VERY common Dom behaivour I think. How it differs to competition I will leave as an exercise to the reader (because some of these readers think better than I do!)

Now, the bit I haven't seen answered well is... how do Subs react when a new Dom walks in the room? Anyone?

Ok Fungiug & Lance I can't resist any longer.

"Is competition a Domly thing??"
I don't think so!!
Ever seen woman having a cat fight over a man???? WOW thats competition, you only have to watch Jerry Springer to see how woman compete at times. The amazing thing is most of the men have treated them like dirt, without earning the title of Dom. Lets face it most of the men they fight over ..hell you have to ask WHY, WHY, WHY.
Neither is it completly unheard of for a Master with more than one sub/slave to have to deal with 'in-fighting' due to 'competition between the sub number 1 and those below her.

On a personal note if my Master chose to have a second slave I would compete in a 'healthy way' (a la Jerry Springer) to ensure that she did not stay long

"Showing off is a VERY common Dom behaviour"

Who hasn't seen females from teenage girls onwards showing off, with a view to impressing a boy/man. Well some of those girls 'shock, horror' do turn out to be subs, learning early how to impress a Dom.
Equally some turn out to be Dommes,
Netzach do you consider your ilk (whatever that is!!) to be competitive or is it a man thing.

If its a man thing, then, Yep, its the old my toy is better than your toy behaviour.

'How does a sub react when a new Dom walks in the room?'

I guess it depends if they notice

 

[catalina_francisco]

'How does a sub react when a new Dom walks in the room?'

I guess it depends if they notice

LOL, priceless shy!! Have to say that would be me too.....matters little if they be Dom, sub, or unknown entity, they are still human, not a living god.

Catalina

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Despite rumours to the contrary, my post wasn't deep and meaningful, but once again demonstrates my ability to totally muddle what I meant to say. It's a gift, I tell ya!

So, in simple language, my points are thus:

1. competition does exist, does happen, but it isn't as common (I feel) as implied, and is resented when it does happen.

Wow, all of that and I only had the one point to make. Sheesh.

Okay, here's another thought on the original topic -- is competition a Domly thing? I think it's one of those "your mileage/kilometreage will vary" things, and depends a lot on the motivation of the Dom.

For me personally, being a Dom is about control. And I am in control. In a group, I don't feel the need to compete as I control what I want to control already -- on the other hand, I might well feel the need to show off.

Showing off is a VERY common Dom behaivour I think. How it differs to competition I will leave as an exercise to the reader (because some of these readers think better than I do!)

Think I'm in Love again! -- fickle bitch that I am -- for what seems like real person showing through.

Now, the bit I haven't seen answered well is... how do Subs react when a new Dom walks in the room? Anyone?

Still figuring out if I qualify for this one. Assuming it's subby-side showing through -- unlike shy slave (whom I'm Always in love with, platonically, and usually in accord with) I think I'd notice pretty quick. Even if it was a wannabe. Least if he was the charismatic type, rather than quiet control, which shows always shows itself, but takes longer.
Would respond with wariness. Gazelle sniffing air. Quick look for emergency exits.
I don't do this with subby males, but am on the alert for wolves in subs clothing, a common disguise.

None of this is to contradict previous post about independents, basing opinions on individual characteristics such as intelligence and kindness, etc. Paradoxically, both are truths, both exist at different levels of awareness.

I won't clamor around, groupie-like, en masse. That's only for silly play, not serious sniffing. Again, the caveat that I'm in longterm committed relationship. Which doesn't mean I don't notice these things, or respond in some fashion.

I probably do end up engaging in some manner with this person. Depending on his limitations, typically, I sort of compete head-to-head or tease. Or bide my time, maintaining hauteur.

It gets complicated, really, depending on intent of the various parties, and if I need to get someone on my side for some practical reason, say at work. I've found the hardest to affect, are the quiet in-control types.

They make up their own minds and either back your idea or don't. Unlike the charismatic type, the quiet-control type, doesn't attack personally, or even attack. Just states their oppostion, and gets automatic backing of many. They aren't always right, they don't always win but they do always seem to keep the respect of others. When others go on the attack, it never seems to hit its mark somehow.

The subbies seem to hover and flirt around both types, but appear to feel more secure around the non-charismatic.

Ps. can I have an ilk?

 

[Netzach]

.
Equally some turn out to be Dommes,
Netzach do you consider your ilk (whatever that is!!) to be competitive or is it a man thing.

If its a man thing, then, Yep, its the old my toy is better than your toy behaviour.

'How does a sub react when a new Dom walks in the room?'

I guess it depends if they notice

Heh.

I still don't think I should be given the job of reprazentin' all FemDoms. Is that the "ilk" in question?

All I know is I compete like a mofo intellectually, sometimes. And sometimes I just sidestep the whole thing, eventually I'll get ADD bored by it, or I don't feel like I'm winning or losing just being sucked in. I write to write, not so people sit and stroke chins and go "how true how true".

I'm not a jockette, so I've always preferred something like quitely x country skiiing through the woods in the moonlight to a heavy one on one. Competitive, no, striving to get better in my own estimation, always. More the creative maverick thing than the alpha thing.

The people I tend to draw as a Domme are also creative individualistic sorts, rather than traditional "omega" types, often. A lot of switchy girls dig my style, a lot of very aggressive and accelerated guysubs. I don't know if/what that says, it just seems to be a pattern. Largely because I'm not going to spell things out all the time, some analytical initiative is a must for my subs.

 

[Lancecastor]

Indeed, one could just as well suggest the opposite, eh? That fear of competition & struggle and thus a sort of "artificial peace" were the real signs of insecurity.

*strokes chin*

Sure...the ones who don't want to ruffle feathers or go along to get along are at least as likely candidates for low self esteem as the big feelin' types.

 

[MzChrista]

Let's talk about the dynamic wherein a charismatic male D appears in your community.

How do Dommes react?

How do femsubs react?

What do the masochix do?

Is the AlphaMale D the absolute lead dog in BDSM circles?

Discuss.

I usually just hang out and wait because about 90% of them will come over when no one is around and start talking about how they want to sub sometimes but they dont want everybody to know it.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Re: Re: Be Afraid.

I usually just hang out and wait because about 90% of them will come over when no one is around and start talking about how they want to sub sometimes but they dont want everybody to know it.

Funny, I get the same thing with the dommes. Somebody do the math on this.

 

[Netzach]

Now now, RR, you know that leering at chicks and chicks with dicks is the platonic ideal between D and D.

I have had the "hey don't tell the world, but..." conversation with male and female Dominants looking to go where everyone should eventually go, if you ask me, but that's an old and dated attitude if you ask around. I've been more than happy to provide the experience without rubbing anyone's face in it. There's really nothing embarrassing about bottoming, is there? Should there be? I'll go there with someone who's not going to be an asshole because I went there.

I too would probably let Mz. C have at my ass, happily.

Eyes and a pulse, it's called having eyes and a pulse!

 

[cellis]

Oh two of my three favorite Dommes are here.... Now if SD were here there would be no hope for any of the guys...

 

[A Desert Rose]

Just a thread hijack and hijinx...

I want to go back to discussing the coupling of Lance and ~Dream~ and the internet offspring of said union.

I can't remember a post that made me laugh so hard and loud as his did.

Also off topic... it's nice to see MzChrista posting again.

 

[Lancecastor]

Re: Re: Be Afraid.

I usually just hang out and wait because about 90% of them will come over when no one is around and start talking about how they want to sub sometimes but they dont want everybody to know it.

I hear lots of Doms seduce lesbians that way.

 

[FungiUg]

All this chin stroking... did I miss something? Did someone declare the chin an erogenous zone and I didn't notice?

 

[MzChrista]

Now now, RR, you know that leering at chicks and chicks with dicks is the platonic ideal between D and D.

I have had the "hey don't tell the world, but..." conversation with male and female Dominants looking to go where everyone should eventually go, if you ask me, but that's an old and dated attitude if you ask around. I've been more than happy to provide the experience without rubbing anyone's face in it. There's really nothing embarrassing about bottoming, is there? Should there be? I'll go there with someone who's not going to be an asshole because I went there.

I too would probably let Mz. C have at my ass, happily.

Eyes and a pulse, it's called having eyes and a pulse!

There isnt a thing wrong with bottoming. The shame is that so many people think they will lose face if they do it. One thing I have seen lots of times is sub women who wont go near a guy that switchs.

And thanks for the happy ass, babe.

 

[MzChrista]

Oh two of my three favorite Dommes are here.... Now if SD were here there would be no hope for any of the guys...

Hey babe. You like our ilk, huh?

 

[MzChrista]

Re: Just a thread hijack and hijinx...

I want to go back to discussing the coupling of Lance and ~Dream~ and the internet offspring of said union.

I can't remember a post that made me laugh so hard and loud as his did.

Also off topic... it's nice to see MzChrista posting again.

Thanks. I dont come in here much but I drop in to the GLBT board pretty often.