Begging for feedback - Non erotic poem.

[KillerMuffin]

And I stand in totally confused awe. That many big and incomprehensible words can be applied to my poem? Wow. Just wow.

 

[Ray Dario]

And I stand in totally confused awe. That many big and incomprehensible words can be applied to my poem? Wow. Just wow.

And that is why I don't write poetry. If I can't pronouce the lingo I ain't gonna write it.

But KM, I read your poem and was very impressed. The emotion and imagery were excellent and the exploration of the character were wonderful. The ending was ... expected, but still good. And if the character was you, as has been hinted at, then all I can say is, you heal nicely

Ray

 

[The_old_man]

My poetic sence was fully destroyed by an educated ignoramus who Thought he was a teacher. Normaly I do not read poetry, much less like it.

Your poem IS an excepyion! I liked it very much.

As for editing or re-write; don't. Far to much liturature is spoiled by trying to make it fit into some educators blind format. Your poem IS powerful as posted. It needs no editing!

 

[Xantham]

I'm sorry if I sounded a little harshly academic in my earlier post. Here's my thoughts on poetry. Poetry has two distinct reasons for being. The first, as KM so eloquently uses it, is to be written by people who need to find ways to put emotion into words. It's second use is to be read by people who want to experience another's thoughts and emotions. That's all. Poetry is simple for those who want to experience poetry.

However, there are those people who feel the need to classify poetry. They need labels for things so they can conviently box them up and put them somewhere. So labels were invented for poetical conventions. Terms such as iambic, trochaic, pyrric, anapest, etc. to describe the rhythm. Pentameter, sexameter, tetrameter, free verse, etc. to describe the length of lines. Haiku, sonnet, couplet, blank verse, etc. to describe the style of poetry. They are all important sounding words, but they are just labels. One should not concern themselves with labels while writing.

So if I sounded like some stuffy academic, I beg your indulgence. I only meant to share some information on poetic labelling. One other quick piece of information: iambic meter is the most common and you will find it heavily in most poetry because western civilization tends to fall into an iambic pattern of speaking.

However, the subject of editing is a difficult one. It is also a very personal one. One should always edit a little to correct errors you did not intend to make, such as spelling. Any other editing should be done after asking yourself the question - "Did I convey what I wanted to convey?" If the answer is yes, then you are done.

 

[Make_My_Day]

Please?

Maimed by Rage

holy..
I have goose bumbs all over..

OK.. so it isn't much.. but I'm a little speechless here.. BEAUTIFUL