Best freindly advice

[Ghost's amaris]

What i would tell a someone that is just starting out and have told someone is this:

To one accept the fact that you are what god made you and that you are not the only one that has the tendensies you have and that you need to be careful, listen, learn, never take anything or anyone as if they know everything and most of all BE HONEST.



What i would tell someone that is about to take it to R/L for the first time is this:

Not to hae any expectations, no plans on playing take the time to get to know the person even better and see if what they have told you on the computer and/or phone is true. Make sure you can really trust that person before you play and develope a bond that only can be found in a D/s relationship.

Ghost's amaris

 

[MsWorthy]

Remember that there is no *right* way to do bdsm. It is not a contest and you needn't do more/reach higher/play edgy to consider your experience valid.

24/7 TPE is not a goal to reach. It is a style that suits a few, not the majority. The vast majority of bdsmers dabble occasionally and usually that is just in the sexual arena.

If d/s as a lifestyle doesn't suit you, don't feel that you have failed or are not as submissive as you *should* be. Your needs are uniquely your own and trying to make yourself fit, just to fit in/belong in a *community* will never make you happy. This will only create a need to hide your true self from others and make you feel like a fake.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Remember that there is no *right* way to do bdsm. It is not a contest and you needn't do more/reach higher/play edgy to consider your experience valid.

24/7 TPE is not a goal to reach. It is a style that suits a few, not the majority. The vast majority of bdsmers dabble occasionally and usually that is just in the sexual arena.

If d/s as a lifestyle doesn't suit you, don't feel that you have failed or are not as submissive as you *should* be. Your needs are uniquely your own and trying to make yourself fit, just to fit in/belong in a *community* will never make you happy. This will only create a need to hide your true self from others and make you feel like a fake.

That's got to be the best advice I've heard MsW.

PBW

 

[MsWorthy]

That's got to be the best advice I've heard MsW.

PBW

Thank you, PB. ~smiles~

 

[P. B. Walker]

Thank you, PB. ~smiles~

I liked it not just because it's good advice... but because it takes the pressure off. It allows ppl to be what they want and to do the things that turn them on. It keeps them from feeling inferior just because they aren't in a TPE or a 24/7. It allows us to all be equals.

I just had to comment on that once I thought about it for a few more minutes

PBW

 

[~Dream~]

personally I think

MsWorthy should start her own advice column somewhere at Lit called MsWorthy's advice or "just ask MsWorthy " ... she always makes ME feel 'Worthy"


What is the best advice you can offer to someone who is just wondering about BDSM?

**My best advice would be to take things slow but do what is comfortable for YOU,,,,,communicate as often and as in as many ways as possible(phone,letters ,online)be Honest always ,educate yourself

What is the best advice you can offer to someone who is heading out to make their first real time contact?

**Go with your "gut' feelings,dont expect alot,be YOURSELF,you DONT GOTTA impress ANYONE,IF You cant be who you TRULY ARE ,then in all liklihood,the person was not worth your while anyway..

What is the best advice you can offer someone who has found their relationship isn't what they thought it should be?
** if you wish to stay in it ,TRY TRY TRY to work things out,if it simply isnt working out at all ,needs are being unmet or fulfilled,well as my gram always said"there are more fish left in the ocean to catch ,and your love is the lure"

 

[A Desert Rose]

Best friendly advice is....

Friend told me last night to never have my pap smear slide read on Monday or Friday..... How I am going to control that is the next question....~pondering~

 

[MissTaken]

Have patience.

Oh, did i say that already?

Did someone else say that?

It is worth repeating.

It is so easy to get carried away with the romantic ideal of the perfect Dom/me or sub, but having patience will always pay off in the end.

 

[BlondGirl]

Patience is well worth repeating.

Just as there is no deal on the stock market that you can not find again later in another form, there is also not SM "relationship" that must be jumped into immediately for fear of losing the chance.

Those who jump blind often deserve what they get. In other words, don't be stupid with your pussy /cock doing all the thinking. If you won't fuck the first flirter in the gas station, don't fuck the first kinky person who flirts with you in the gas station either.

As exciting as this all is, it is still only a phase. Not unlike the age between 11 and 14 when you learned that the sex was no longer gross. It did not mean you were ready to fuck everybody at that time. You had some learning to do. Enjoy that learning experience, but don't get "knocked up" in the process.

 

[MissTaken]

Great analogy, blondgirl!

Thanks