Bi Discussion: A Weekly Discussion Thread for Bis and Those That Love Them

[BillyZ13]

I’ve never talked about the impulses and attraction and honestly probably never really wanted to adress it myself until prettt recently. I kissed guys back in the day (when drunk or high) but never any further... now I wish I had done more and would like to. Only one very close friend knows about it.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Oh great, now I have to follow another interesting PLP thread.

Darn.... sorry!!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#4

Are your same sex attractions equally romantic and sexual? Or do you find yourself more sexually attracted to someone than romantically? What about opposite sex?

 

[AlexBailey]

#4

Are your same sex attractions equally romantic and sexual? Or do you find yourself more sexually attracted to someone than romantically? What about opposite sex?

For me it's all intertwined. I'm not into sex with someone I'm not romantically interested in. That said, I fall in love with the drop of a hat.

 

[nostuff]

#4

Are your same sex attractions equally romantic and sexual? Or do you find yourself more sexually attracted to someone than romantically? What about opposite sex?

When it comes to other men, my interest is all about cock. That's not to say I would reject cuddling or a "romantic" dinner. But I'm not looking for someone to woo me, and I'm definitely not looking for a relationship. Just give me the cock. Let me suck and get fucked.

Very elemental.

With women, it's quite different. Yes, there are women I know, have known or merely seen who inspire pure lust. I would love nothing more than a fling or one-night stand with them.

But there have been some women who have made me wonder what might have been or what could be if I were to leave my current wife. I'm thinking of one woman in particular.

At first, it was just lust, but it became much more, though I've never told her. I came close one evening when I bought her dinner, then invited her to a sidewalk cafe to share a bottle of Champagne. Really close, but she's married to a very good guy, so I kept my mouth shut. That's as far as it will ever go, just a romantic dream.

No man has ever inspired that kind of emotion in me, only lust. I can't imagine it will ever be anything more.

JUST TO ADD A NOTE: In my mind, "romantic" implies love, and love suggests the desire for a relationship. So a one-night stand might feel romantic, but it's really just sex, or lust.

 

[Blue_Duck]

#1

Does flirting with one gender come more naturally to you? Have you had to work on feeling more confident socially and sexually with either gender?

I’ve never been much of a flirt….my boss encounters have all been a result of mfm threesomes with my wife and a play partner.

With that said, I’ve remained in contact with one of her long term partners and we exchange texts often and he will sometimes video chat with me while I get myself off.

I’m meeting him tomorrow for some guy time. It’s been over a year since I’ve had him in my mouth and am so looking forward to having my nose buried into his pubic bone.

….I’ve never been approached by a guy/bi guy, so I do t think I give of a vibe/attraction for another guy….but that’s simply a guess on my part.

 

[hotwords229_A]

#4

Are your same sex attractions equally romantic and sexual? Or do you find yourself more sexually attracted to someone than romantically? What about opposite sex?

Opposite sex can be purely sexual, but also equally romantic.

Same sex, is purely sexual. I don’t consider myself bi, but if I see a guy with a great body/looks I think “damn, that guy’s hot and probably has sex constantly”. I’m not jealous, necessarily, but envious?

Either way, it can spark a visceral reaction that is totally sexually based.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

#4

Are your same sex attractions equally romantic and sexual? Or do you find yourself more sexually attracted to someone than romantically? What about opposite sex?

My 'attractants' have not equal standing of importance. Romance has to be propagated, it grows in increments and never as quickly as my sexual connections.
And my sexual connections and interactions are NOT as important as my romantic endeavors.

 

[Bittersweet1215]

#4

Are your same sex attractions equally romantic and sexual? Or do you find yourself more sexually attracted to someone than romantically? What about opposite sex?

Just like with opposite sex it depends. Some people I wanna throw myself onto physically and submit entirely too but couldn't see a romantic thread. Others I could do both.

Sex could be sex or it could be something more. Either way. But I do know that personally if it were to go romantic I'd be the bottom turning to mush in someone's arms. I don't know why that is. Maybe I got a submissive nature or something but thinking of a guy much bigger than I taking the dominant role either sexually or romantically just fucks my head right up.

 

[coati]

#4

Are your same sex attractions equally romantic and sexual? Or do you find yourself more sexually attracted to someone than romantically? What about opposite sex?

It does not matter to me where a person may be along the gender spectrum. Smart and considerate people turn me on emotionally, intellectually, and sexually.

Generally, I've found that more women than men have the openness and communication skills to provide the basis for romantic intimacy with both men and women, but that does not negate the fact that some men are also "ambidextrous". There are so many more men than women who fear intimacy or who confuse mechanical sex with intimacy.

 

[fl_openminded]

#1

Does flirting with one gender come more naturally to you? Have you had to work on feeling more confident socially and sexually with either gender?

I am the worst when it comes to flirting or being flirted on. You can be more clueless than me..

 

[fl_openminded]

#2 Signals

Do you pick up signals equally from each end of the gender spectrum? Have you ever talked yourself out of recognizing a signal or been told later that "it was so obvious"?

As I stated in answering #1 I am clueless. Yes, I have talked myself out of recognizing the signal. There's a really good looking bi or gay man that lives nearby. He stopped me 1 day and we started talking. Later on I was thinking he was in a roundabout way asking me if I was straight. Anyway I can replay that event and answer him totally differently? How do you even tell someone that you are bi curious?

 

[fl_openminded]

Happy Pride!!

#3 For those hetero passing bis, does your partner know you're bisexual? To clarify, if you're in a relationship with an opposite sex partner are you open with them about your bisexuality?

I am sure just like many you make small talk without coming out and asking the direct question. Maybe start out with comments about gay friends, porn, sex stuff, etc... Thats how I found out most of my exs thought if a guy liked anything in his butt (pegging, toys, etc) he must be gay. Well, that put a stop to telling her about my curiosity. What is strange (thanks to society) is how its ok for 2 women to play but not ok for 2 men?

 

[fl_openminded]

#4

Are your same sex attractions equally romantic and sexual? Or do you find yourself more sexually attracted to someone than romantically? What about opposite sex?

I am both romantically & sexually attracted to the opposite sex and only sexually attracted to the same sex. Which means I love to kiss and cuddle women but have zero interest in doing that with another guy. I want his cock and what he can do with it...


JUST found this thread so lets keep it going...

 

[Crios]

Happy Pride!!

#3 For those hetero passing bis, does your partner know you're bisexual? To clarify, if you're in a relationship with an opposite sex partner are you open with them about your bisexuality?

Since my "interest" in my bi-side has come much later in life, I've not told my wife. If she thought I was interested in guys, she'd believe she "failed" and would be very down on herself. I feel bad hiding this side from her but I do think it's best.

 

[Crios]

Peyronie's disease

Not specifically a bi-guy's problem but of interest to all of us with a cock.

For those of you who don't know, Peyronie's disease is a curvature of the penis caused by the buildup of plaque in the soft tissue. It can be anywhere from mild to pretty extreme. I guess they now have drugs that can cause the plaque to dissolve.

I was wondering:

Do you suffer from Peyronie's disease or are a partner of someone who does?

Have you had any of the treatments and, if so, what was your experience?

Have you shied away from treatment for fear of side effects, especially impotency?

Has Peyronie's caused issue with your sex life? Since we're all bi here, does cause any issues with your male and female partners?

In case you're wondering, yes, I suffer from it. The missus doesn't want me to do anything about it because of possible side effects of the meds, however, I can tell you, it definitely affects me trying to do anything behind (either vaginal or anal).

Thanks!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

My wife is bi and she told me very early on in our relationship. From the beginning we have been very open with each other up to including our sexual wants and fantasies.

In her pervious marriage her ex made her feel ashamed for her attraction to other women and she had to suppress it for the 10 years they were together.

Obviously for me there is a potential benefit to allowing her, for lack of a better word, to let her bi side come out, however it's not contingent on the chance that we could have a threesome. She can explore that side of her with our without me.

Nick!
Thank you for this perspective. It's really valuable.

 

[Scareltt]

I missed a lot on vacation..

#4

Are your same sex attractions equally romantic and sexual? Or do you find yourself more sexually attracted to someone than romantically? What about opposite sex?

With women I want a romantic connection. I want to hold hands and have long snuggles, and conversations. Let the attraction grow, and the momentum build.

With men physical can come first but I’ll need to develop a romantic connection over time. If I don’t I’ll get bored and move on.

So with women it’s romance then sexual. With men it’s sexual then romance.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

# 5

What was the event that started you questioning your sexuality? Did you need permission to question or did someone push you that way?

 

[AlexBailey]

# 5

What was the event that started you questioning your sexuality? Did you need permission to question or did someone push you that way?

Hmm,
Well, I questioned my gender long before I questioned my sexuality. I didn’t realize that I was supposed to wear a different kind of swimsuit than my sister and her friends, until my dad said “What’s wrong with you? Go put your shorts on’”

Later high school I had fantasies about being a cheerleader and being felt up by guys, but I felt disconnected from it somehow - after all, as my mom always insisted; I “couldn’t possibly be gay”, I’d had a bunch of girlfriends, including the captain of the cheer squad and Ms County fair.

It was a Swedish foreign exchange student I was sleeping with who opened my eyes to the fact that I was bi. After fucking in the backseat of a ‘big American car’ (her fantasy), she asked me, “what if you fell in love with someone but had never seen them naked? I mean really in love. You said you love me before we fucked… Would it matter if you found that I had a penis?”

This was the first lover who had rocked my world and made me realize the synergy of true mutual respect and attraction. I realized that I’d be fine with it if she had a dick.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Hmm,
Well, I questioned my gender long before I questioned my sexuality. I didn’t realize that I was supposed to wear a different kind of swimsuit than my sister and her friends, until my dad said “What’s wrong with you? Go put your shorts on’”

Later high school I had fantasies about being a cheerleader and being felt up by guys, but I felt disconnected from it somehow - after all, as my mom always insisted; I “couldn’t possibly be gay”, I’d had a bunch of girlfriends, including the captain of the cheer squad and Ms County fair.

It was a Swedish foreign exchange student I was sleeping with who opened my eyes to the fact that I was bi. After fucking in the backseat of a ‘big American car’ (her fantasy), she asked me, “what if you fell in love with someone but had never seen them naked? I mean really in love. You said you love me before we fucked… Would it matter if you found that I had a penis?”

This was the first lover who had rocked my world and made me realize the synergy of true mutual respect and attraction. I realized that I’d be fine with it if she had a dick.

I will forever refer to this as the Swedish Exchange Student moment
She was a well of wisdom.

 

[Crios]

I will forever refer to this as the Swedish Exchange Student moment
She was a well of wisdom.

That's an awesome story! I've been kicking myself for over 50 years for not being open to loving someone regardless of their equipment/orientation.

Thanks for sharing!

 

[AlexBailey]

I will forever refer to this as the Swedish Exchange Student moment
She was a well of wisdom.

Yes she was!

And with her beautiful accent, my heart would flutter when ever she said my name.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Gotta love those Swedish girls.

 

[martinfs]

# 5

What was the event that started you questioning your sexuality? Did you need permission to question or did someone push you that way?

I was about 15, jacking off to a program on TV about a fashion show in Thailand (it was in the 80's so internet porn wasn't a thing, had to take a wank where you could), at some point I became aware of the concept of ladyboys, and wow what a cumshot that was!

However being the coward I am it took me decades to do anything about it.