"angel" eve
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2002
- Posts
- 179
better than morning coffee
mmmm... i'm awake and happy now. lol. this is great.
mmmm... i'm awake and happy now. lol. this is great.
Bloopers BDSM Style!!!
- Thread starter lillum
- Start date
zipman
Literotica Guru
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- Jul 30, 2002
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- 38,535
I just remembered...
another classic. I was with this woman who had real issues with anything to do with anal sex. I talked her into letting me put my finger in her ass. I reached over and grabbed some Jergen's type hand lotion that she had near the bed. I didn't read the description on the bottle so I didn't know that it had a menthol ingredient in it.
After putting my well-lubed finger in her ass, I asked her how it felt. Her reply was:
"It feels like someone shoved a York Peppermint Patty up my ass."
Needless to say, we didn't do anything anal again after that.
another classic. I was with this woman who had real issues with anything to do with anal sex. I talked her into letting me put my finger in her ass. I reached over and grabbed some Jergen's type hand lotion that she had near the bed. I didn't read the description on the bottle so I didn't know that it had a menthol ingredient in it.
After putting my well-lubed finger in her ass, I asked her how it felt. Her reply was:
"It feels like someone shoved a York Peppermint Patty up my ass."
Needless to say, we didn't do anything anal again after that.
Wizard
Literotica Guru
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- Dec 30, 1999
- Posts
- 12,140
Re: I just remembered...
That was good dude.................I liked that........lol
zipman7 said:another classic. I was with this woman who had real issues with anything to do with anal sex. I talked her into letting me put my finger in her ass. I reached over and grabbed some Jergen's type hand lotion that she had near the bed. I didn't read the description on the bottle so I didn't know that it had a menthol ingredient in it.
After putting my well-lubed finger in her ass, I asked her how it felt. Her reply was:
"It feels like someone shoved a York Peppermint Patty up my ass."
Needless to say, we didn't do anything anal again after that.
That was good dude.................I liked that........lol
Re: I just remembered...
LOL Zip. This reminds me, have you ever used a Bengay type ointment during play? I have used this type of hot/cold rub for the pain/pleasure play scene. I have even used toothpaste. Anyone else try this?
It works great.
OK. ~sighs~ I will add to the thread topic. But, don't tell anyone.
My partner and I had a night alone (gasp! it is rare for us) so we decided to spend the entire time in scene. I tied her wrists, her ankles were shackled (with a two foot reach) and blind-folded her. She had to perform all tasks in this manner (bound).
It went well, it was quite erotic watching her work so hard just to find her way into the kitchen when she made us drinks. Then, determine by touch how full the drinks were.
The *blooper* occured when she was making her way to the kitchen for the third time to make us drinks (yes, alcohol-containing drinks). She was a touch high when she moved through the doorway of the kitchen, and somehow miscalculated her perimeters and konked her head on the frame of the doorway.
It wasn't a serious blow and caused no damage. It was just a bit painful and embarrassing for her, especially when I quickly moved to her side to assess any damage.
*Knocked* her right out of sub-space, and she was disappointed when I removed the blind-fold for the remainder of the evening.
zipman7 said:another classic. I was with this woman who had real issues with anything to do with anal sex. I talked her into letting me put my finger in her ass. I reached over and grabbed some Jergen's type hand lotion that she had near the bed. I didn't read the description on the bottle so I didn't know that it had a menthol ingredient in it.
After putting my well-lubed finger in her ass, I asked her how it felt. Her reply was:
"It feels like someone shoved a York Peppermint Patty up my ass."
Needless to say, we didn't do anything anal again after that.
LOL Zip. This reminds me, have you ever used a Bengay type ointment during play? I have used this type of hot/cold rub for the pain/pleasure play scene. I have even used toothpaste. Anyone else try this?
It works great.
OK. ~sighs~ I will add to the thread topic. But, don't tell anyone.
My partner and I had a night alone (gasp! it is rare for us) so we decided to spend the entire time in scene. I tied her wrists, her ankles were shackled (with a two foot reach) and blind-folded her. She had to perform all tasks in this manner (bound).
It went well, it was quite erotic watching her work so hard just to find her way into the kitchen when she made us drinks. Then, determine by touch how full the drinks were.
The *blooper* occured when she was making her way to the kitchen for the third time to make us drinks (yes, alcohol-containing drinks). She was a touch high when she moved through the doorway of the kitchen, and somehow miscalculated her perimeters and konked her head on the frame of the doorway.
It wasn't a serious blow and caused no damage. It was just a bit painful and embarrassing for her, especially when I quickly moved to her side to assess any damage.
*Knocked* her right out of sub-space, and she was disappointed when I removed the blind-fold for the remainder of the evening.
P. B. Walker
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2001
- Posts
- 25,127
I never realized toothpaste would burn.... learn something new everyday
Thanks ya'll.
PBW
Thanks ya'll.
PBW
Come on, baby, light my...
It's Master's and my first face-to-face meeting, after talking on the net and phone for about a year. The scene is perfect... There are scented votives in those nifty three and four-layer towers around the room. I'm cuffed and Master has just ungagged me. The first and second acts have gone swimmingly, and we're headed for a grand finale, completely lost in one another. We're both moaning and panting and--sniffing...? Suddenly, the smoke alarm goes off. Oh shit! One of the towers is on fire! The lower candles have heated the upper levels to such a degree that the wax is aflame, and my bedroom is about to be, as well. We both spring up, I'm jumping, whacking the alarm and trying to turn the damn thing off. Secondary, really, to the fact that there is still a FIRE IN MY BEDROOM. Master is looking around frantically as I jump up and down (still buck-naked and cuffed, remember) yelling, "Put it out! Put it out!" He says, "Darling, get me a big metal kitchen spoon. NOW." I do. He smothers the flames. The tower is retired. We have to start all over. Darn.
Happy Day, A/all!
It's Master's and my first face-to-face meeting, after talking on the net and phone for about a year. The scene is perfect... There are scented votives in those nifty three and four-layer towers around the room. I'm cuffed and Master has just ungagged me. The first and second acts have gone swimmingly, and we're headed for a grand finale, completely lost in one another. We're both moaning and panting and--sniffing...? Suddenly, the smoke alarm goes off. Oh shit! One of the towers is on fire! The lower candles have heated the upper levels to such a degree that the wax is aflame, and my bedroom is about to be, as well. We both spring up, I'm jumping, whacking the alarm and trying to turn the damn thing off. Secondary, really, to the fact that there is still a FIRE IN MY BEDROOM. Master is looking around frantically as I jump up and down (still buck-naked and cuffed, remember) yelling, "Put it out! Put it out!" He says, "Darling, get me a big metal kitchen spoon. NOW." I do. He smothers the flames. The tower is retired. We have to start all over. Darn.
Happy Day, A/all!
lovetoread
hello daddy
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2001
- Posts
- 42,978
Well there was this time I got hit in the head, but it wasnt as funny as those stories.
James G 5
Holding Lit together
- Joined
- May 16, 2002
- Posts
- 12,586
On the butt-plug thing, I have been at a BDSM convention where there was a butt-plug shooting contest for the subbies
They got some AMAZING distance
As for bloopers.......a subbie friend of mine decided to surprise her Dom one day
They had a doorframe rigged for 4-point bondage, making her in to an X on her tipp-toes, with the bonds supporting a lot of her weight
She decided to "surprise" him one day by stripping & putting herself in the restraints so she'd be waiting when he got home
She rigged a rope to the right hand cuff, strapped her legs in, grabbed the rop with her left hand, buckled IT in, put her right hand in its cuff, and tugged the rope to secure it
She did all this at about 5:20, figuring he'd be home in a 1/2 hour, TOPS
Unfortunately, he got stuck late at work
...
...
...
And she was left there for 2 1/2 HOURS, with the windows open, while the temperature dropped 20 degrees
Nedless to say, it wasn't very sexy for him to come home, have to pull her down, and put her in warm water to bring up her body temp while she screamed from pins & needles all over her arms and legs as circulation came back
A lesson learned
They got some AMAZING distance
As for bloopers.......a subbie friend of mine decided to surprise her Dom one day
They had a doorframe rigged for 4-point bondage, making her in to an X on her tipp-toes, with the bonds supporting a lot of her weight
She decided to "surprise" him one day by stripping & putting herself in the restraints so she'd be waiting when he got home
She rigged a rope to the right hand cuff, strapped her legs in, grabbed the rop with her left hand, buckled IT in, put her right hand in its cuff, and tugged the rope to secure it
She did all this at about 5:20, figuring he'd be home in a 1/2 hour, TOPS
Unfortunately, he got stuck late at work
...
...
...
And she was left there for 2 1/2 HOURS, with the windows open, while the temperature dropped 20 degrees
Nedless to say, it wasn't very sexy for him to come home, have to pull her down, and put her in warm water to bring up her body temp while she screamed from pins & needles all over her arms and legs as circulation came back
A lesson learned
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I have a funny one..My husband I were dating at the time and we were going to have sex the first time and I wasn't on the pill so I bought some concraceptive vaginal inserts. I put the insert in and I developed an allergic reaction and it felt like my thingie was on fire!! I made a beeline to the bathroom and my husband laughed like a hyena!
I know this isn't really a bondage story, but it was one of the funniest bloopers I've had! Petra
I know this isn't really a bondage story, but it was one of the funniest bloopers I've had!
Petra
WriterDom
Good to the last drop
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2000
- Posts
- 20,077
lovetoread said:Well there was this time I got hit in the head, but it wasnt as funny as those stories.
There is a laugh in there somewhere, but not at the time.
Maybe this should be moved to the cafe.
Bumped up for the new people.
RJMasters
workaholic
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2004
- Posts
- 4,298
Oh Shit!
I remember once having a bad cramp in the back of my leg in the middle of sex. I began yelling
OH SHIT! OH SHHIITTT!.
She imediately began ograsming thinking I was so excited.
She was screaming Yesss YESSSSS echoing my Oh shit oh shit
The timing of my yelling in pain and her screams of pleasure was in perfect time, and I began laughing so hard I couldn't continue!
She felt so cheated when I stop laughing long enough to explain what happen. She got angry, then bursted out laughing as she replayed the whole thing in her mind.
It became a private joke between us in public. I would whisper in her ear Oh shit oh shit, and she would smile and say yes yessss.
I remember once having a bad cramp in the back of my leg in the middle of sex. I began yelling
OH SHIT! OH SHHIITTT!.
She imediately began ograsming thinking I was so excited.
She was screaming Yesss YESSSSS echoing my Oh shit oh shit
The timing of my yelling in pain and her screams of pleasure was in perfect time, and I began laughing so hard I couldn't continue!
She felt so cheated when I stop laughing long enough to explain what happen. She got angry, then bursted out laughing as she replayed the whole thing in her mind.
It became a private joke between us in public. I would whisper in her ear Oh shit oh shit, and she would smile and say yes yessss.
AvaAdore
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2002
- Posts
- 488
I was topping (I guess that's the best word for it) my bf. We were enjoying some nice anal play with him in the receiving end. Coincidentally, his uncle (who is his landlord), decided he would come over and mow the lawns and do some general garden maintenance. That was fine. Then he wanted to come in for a chat. Luckily, my bf's room has a lock.
So there is a knock on the door. Aw crap, ok, I guess we have to stop. We got dressed quickly, hoping to get back to playing soon. But his uncle wanted to have a chat. This guy just doesn't shut up. He talks and talks and talks....ugh. Then he went back outside. We get back into it, and 5 minutes later he comes back and knocks on the door AGAIN. He needed someone to hold a flashlight for him (it was dark out). It was very frustrating!
Finally, he left altogether. I guess it's not a blooper, but it was fucking annoying! And each time, he stood outside the door, waiting for us to get dressed AGAIN.
I don't know how he didn't put two and two together. Girlfriend is over, door is locked. Duh!
Once around christmas, my parents went away for 2 weeks and I stayed home. My bf came over. We had some fun on the couch in the living room. My hands were cuffed behind my back, I was tied with rope in an awkward position and he was whipping me. It was great. A few days later, my parents come home. My dad comes into my room waving a pair of handcuffs that he found on the floor next to the couch. He grinned. I tried to downplay it. I said "Aww dad, we were just playing around with them!"
Stupid!
He laughed. We never spoke of it again.
So there is a knock on the door. Aw crap, ok, I guess we have to stop. We got dressed quickly, hoping to get back to playing soon. But his uncle wanted to have a chat. This guy just doesn't shut up. He talks and talks and talks....ugh. Then he went back outside. We get back into it, and 5 minutes later he comes back and knocks on the door AGAIN. He needed someone to hold a flashlight for him (it was dark out). It was very frustrating!
Finally, he left altogether. I guess it's not a blooper, but it was fucking annoying! And each time, he stood outside the door, waiting for us to get dressed AGAIN.
I don't know how he didn't put two and two together. Girlfriend is over, door is locked. Duh!
Once around christmas, my parents went away for 2 weeks and I stayed home. My bf came over. We had some fun on the couch in the living room. My hands were cuffed behind my back, I was tied with rope in an awkward position and he was whipping me. It was great. A few days later, my parents come home. My dad comes into my room waving a pair of handcuffs that he found on the floor next to the couch. He grinned. I tried to downplay it. I said "Aww dad, we were just playing around with them!"
Stupid!
He laughed. We never spoke of it again.
badlilthang
Virgin
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2004
- Posts
- 28
omg...where DO i begin..*L*
i have had some memorable moments, too.*L*...
We kinda like beads and also ben-wa balls, hubby and i - so we decided to try it one day.
i was placed ass up ~ and He was in me...and inserted the string of anal beads...bead by bead...until all 5 were buried inside my ass.....the sex was great...chuckles - and then it was time for me - to turn around...and to pull them out slowly...with Him watching...i counted...1....2...........3.....3.......3....????and there it was...the 5-bead string...with 3 beads on it? Didn't it have 5?????*slight panic attack* from me..and my husband on the floor laughing! He reassured me...no problem..they WILL come out..sooner or later...*L*
Then there is the marble incident.. sharp blush...how dumb can one be...lol
We didn't have ben wa balls at the time..and thought marbles would do the trick...and they did...sex was fun and intense - but then it was time to get the darn marbles out.~push!~~...naw..not happening...PUSH...nix.......the familiar lil panic attack came sneaking up..and i said..in an mix of hysteric laughter and anxiety..i am NOT going to the ER! *LOL*.....well...i laid down....hubby got a spoon from the kitchen...and with finesse....in between laughter atttacks...killed the vacuum....and got the marbles out...*l*...
last one...finally got my ben wa balls....2 sets..one heavier than the other...and was out shopping wearing the heavier set. As a good subbie....in a skirt, t-shirt, stockings and no undies....did i mention they had a marble floor in this shop?
Well..i felt a little movement inside...and heard a clunk....i looked around quickly and saw 2 women staring at me with a shocked look...as they saw a ben wa ball rolling slowly on the floor...from where i was standing..
and my Oscar remark? "Oh....i must have a hole in my pocket"! Smiled sweetly....and red as a beet.....rushed to pick up the ball..and have never returned to that shop ever again..*LOL*...
the fun we have...*LOL*...
bad~
i have had some memorable moments, too.*L*...
We kinda like beads and also ben-wa balls, hubby and i - so we decided to try it one day.
i was placed ass up ~ and He was in me...and inserted the string of anal beads...bead by bead...until all 5 were buried inside my ass.....the sex was great...chuckles - and then it was time for me - to turn around...and to pull them out slowly...with Him watching...i counted...1....2...........3.....3.......3....????and there it was...the 5-bead string...with 3 beads on it? Didn't it have 5?????*slight panic attack* from me..and my husband on the floor laughing! He reassured me...no problem..they WILL come out..sooner or later...*L*
Then there is the marble incident.. sharp blush...how dumb can one be...lol
We didn't have ben wa balls at the time..and thought marbles would do the trick...and they did...sex was fun and intense - but then it was time to get the darn marbles out.~push!~~...naw..not happening...PUSH...nix.......the familiar lil panic attack came sneaking up..and i said..in an mix of hysteric laughter and anxiety..i am NOT going to the ER! *LOL*.....well...i laid down....hubby got a spoon from the kitchen...and with finesse....in between laughter atttacks...killed the vacuum....and got the marbles out...*l*...
last one...finally got my ben wa balls....2 sets..one heavier than the other...and was out shopping wearing the heavier set. As a good subbie....in a skirt, t-shirt, stockings and no undies....did i mention they had a marble floor in this shop?
Well..i felt a little movement inside...and heard a clunk....i looked around quickly and saw 2 women staring at me with a shocked look...as they saw a ben wa ball rolling slowly on the floor...from where i was standing..
and my Oscar remark? "Oh....i must have a hole in my pocket"! Smiled sweetly....and red as a beet.....rushed to pick up the ball..and have never returned to that shop ever again..*LOL*...
the fun we have...*LOL*...
bad~
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