Can't these people READ?

You know, it's really a good thing to see how many of you are getting these turnip truck rejects sending messages. Oh, I know you don't like getting them, and I don't either.

My problem was getting one quick "Hi" message from someone, only to never hear from them again. It must be something I say in the return message, I guess, but I do have my needs and they must be taken care of!

But, look at it this way...the more of these idiots that send you messages, the higher we all are on the food chain. Reading some of these responses, I would guess I'm very high on that chain.

These guys are idiots! But, idiots need sexual release, too. Let's just hope they use a condom and don't reproduce!
 
niteshade said:
I keep getting them from guys who say they want me to move to some exotic foreign location, like Greece or Holland (and one joker wanting me to come to NZ :p ), live in a cage to only be let out for play time, or some other stupid crap like that.

I didn't think of offering you a cage! Must be slipping...

Actually, the best success I have had off b.com is with a friend who is exactly that -- she's a friend. I contacted her saying "I read your profile, and you're not what we are after or vice-versa, but wanna chat anyway?" (or words to that effect) and we've been yakking ever since. Met her in person twice now, and she's someone I am proud to call a friend.

Haven't had much luck off alt.com or adultfriendfinder.com though -- especially since now they insist you pay even to view adverts!
 
FungiUg said:
I didn't think of offering you a cage! Must be slipping...

Actually, the best success I have had off b.com is with a friend who is exactly that -- she's a friend. I contacted her saying "I read your profile, and you're not what we are after or vice-versa, but wanna chat anyway?" (or words to that effect) and we've been yakking ever since. Met her in person twice now, and she's someone I am proud to call a friend.

Haven't had much luck off alt.com or adultfriendfinder.com though -- especially since now they insist you pay even to view adverts!

After getting a few geniuses from adultfriendfinder, we deleted that account entirely - and we currently have our alt profiles turned off. We have met very few people through any of the sites that were worth our time who followed through with their supposed interest.

We have met all 3 of the ones that we have actually played with through munches (with varying degrees of success, of course) and most of the ones we like right now have come from here.

Of course, we still get idiots, even from here ... "I'm married, but will you domme me anyway?" ... "I can travel every weekend and I will be your obedient slave the whole time I'm there" ... get real people ... :rolleyes:
 
I opened an account at B.com a while back and am AMAZED at the messages I get from people and my profile CLEARLY states that I am not looking.

This may not be kind, but I want to post this one here that I got recently...I am assuming he sends it to a LOT of people, because he is "recruiting" and has a webpage and everything:

I was floored...is this really how people seek others out? Board monitors...feel free to delete or edit this if I am out of line...

********
Dear innerdarkness,
I am writing to you on impulse, but I learned long ago to trust my instincts. If this doesn’t interest you forgive the intrusion, but if you would like to go along for a while and see if it fits, welcome. I ask only that you read it all. I must be very careful of those close to me, so I would need to know much more about you, but that will come in the exchange if you want to go forward. To see if you would be interested I will offer this.

You fix me a cup of coffee, I take a measure of honey in each cup, you cross the Mexican tile floor of the breakfast area and up the wide carpeted stairs to my office. Your eyes take in the red leather couch, onyx coffee table, the architect’s renderings of New Utopia above my work station/desk (really a blue marbleized 12 foot bar top) and my blue leather chair where I am busy working.

You say "here is your coffee Master", I indicate where you are to put it. then ask you to send a two page fax I have been working on. You turn to the fax machine to do so. As you finish loading the pages and turn, I take the skirt of your shift in my hand and pull you toward me. To your questioning look I say "Give me your breast." I sense the very brief hesitation and look to see your eyes briefly go to the drawer where the upstairs crop and flogger is kept, then without any hesitation you unbutton the top of your garment and with your hand holding your lovely breast present your nipple to my mouth.

As I tongue and suck it your audible intake of breath indicates your response. I move my hand to the back of your leg and up to your hip, I feel the little welts from the earlier cropping and fondle them as I nurse your now hard little nipple. I move my hand around to the inside of your thighs and sharply slap them apart, you quickly comply and I move my hand up to cup your sex. Feeling the heat and wetness my middle finger parts the lips and enters, then withdraws and strokes up to the button of your clit, where I play as I continue sucking. Then as I take the other teat which you hold to me I insert 2 fingers into your pussy finding what some call your "G" spot, I begin to move a bit more urgently and you cry out "Please Master, may I cum?" I release the nipple and say "No!"

As I raise up out of my chair I give you the fingers to suck and clean and my hand goes into your hair as I pull your lips to mine. At the same time I unzip my pants and your hand goes immediately inside to grasp my cock, already as big as your wrist. You squeeze and stroke it as I continue to feed on your lips and fondle your breast, teasing and rolling the nipple between my fingers.

I need only give a slight indication of my need by gentle movement of my hand in your hair and you sink to your knees, the velvety head slipping between your lips. You tongue and lick the whole 9 inch length of my cock and slip it in and out between your moist lips until I can stand no more. I raise you to your feet once more and capture you lips as my fingers go back to your breast and to teasing the nipple. Your hand strokes my erection until without taking my hand from your hair I guide you to the end of the couch, I push you over the arm so that your face is in the seat, your bottom available for whatever I want I move the head of my cock in between the lips of your pussy, sliding it back and forth across your clit. When you cry out "Master you are going to make me cum." I stop for a moment then put just the head into the opening, very slowly, then withdraw it, and again push it in a little farther this time. I do this several times, never giving you more than half of what you want. Then a cry from you 'Please Master I must cum, please." I growl "yes" and ram the whole of the big throbbing cock into you all the way, and begin to fuck you hard and fast as your cries of release fill the office.

When I judge you have had a full measure I pull you to your knees and you take my cock into your mouth to finish me off, I am ready and as I jerk and moan my release you take every honey flavored drop.

I had said I was not going to write another girl, but you interest me for several reasons. I am an experienced Dom. We have a unique opportunity for the right girl and if you are still available please look at http://www.new-utopia.com You might become the treasured slave/sub of a Prince. Every girl is different with her own needs and kink. I am capable of giving each pet her desires and taking my satisfaction from it.

We will begin construction this month and move our headquarters and staff to Ft. Myers, Florida soon after to be near the construction.

Please keep this confidential as I am sure you understand we must be careful of our public image. You will find our pictures on the web site. Click on "About" on the home page, then on "Prince" "Princess" This is very real and we are very interested and will use you well. We are D and D free of course and expect the same. I have owned a total of 8 other slave/sub girls and one male slave/aide. Some are now happily married to someone else. Three just did not work out. I have one live in house slave now. I am sure you realize I must be very careful who I pick to be close to me.

I must tell you that it is my intention to eventually have 2 or 3 pretty girls, they can take care of me but also pleasure each other when given permission. They will always be controlled. To the outside world they will be staff, (with duties they are equipped or trained for, office, housekeeping, etc.) with no one ever guessing the true nature of our relationship.

What I am after is absolute loyalty and dedication. I think that this is more certain with people who are tied by more than the expectation of a weekly paycheck. I expect my girls to serve out of love and because they feel that they belong with and too me, this will be their home. They will become a part of our family. Living accommodations are of course the very finest. We have a fine home in Tulsa Oklahoma with pool, flower gardens, spa room with large hot tub a Kohler Habitat which includes a tanning facility/steam/sauna function. When we move to Florida, then to New Utopia we will keep this as our US residence. We will also build a large lodge type of summer home in the Rocky mountains of Canada. In the residences on New Utopia and Canada we plan to build a complete dungeon.

Absolute submission is expected at all times. I do not expect to have to have my foot on the neck (figuratively) of a slave/sub at all times, I have work to do as does she. The evenings and weekends are when most (although not always) of the pleasures and disciplines are experienced. You will find that I will take whatever time is necessary to train and enjoy my pet. There are also fun times and I expect a happy home with everyone relaxed and cheerful.

This brings me to a couple of questions of my own. what sort of skills do you have and what kind of jobs have you held? We expect slaves/subs to do anything and everything possible to make our lives easier and more enjoyable, this will assure them that theirs are more enjoyable as well. If you have talents which I can utilize in my function of the ruling of New Utopia I may call on you for assistance in that area as well. You would be paid whatever I would have to pay anyone else to do that job. The only difference is you would still be submissive to me and live in the palace. I am quite well endowed, both long and thick. The Princess is straight so all sexual use will be by me. This is what The Princess says on the subject.

Lazarus tells me that you might be a bit concerned at first, quite naturally, as to the possibility of jealousy on my part. Please, not to worry. We subscribe to the Heinlein philosophy that there is more than enough love to go around. I am just plain vanilla-straight, not into the BDSM lifestyle, but very tolerant. I figure, what the hell, whatever floats people's boats, so long as its between consenting adults.

I also believe that mother nature created a built-in biological directive within men, who, had they not followed their urges to spread seed around millennia ago, would not have perpetuated the human race. (Impregnating as many women as possible was "hedging their bets" and insuring that at least some of their genes were perpetuated into the future generations.) Its only been a blink of the eye, in evolutionary time terms, since the dark days when life was short, survival was chancy and infant mortality was very high. But the vestigial urges to procreate are still strong, even though men are not consciously aware of "why" they feel driven toward multiple partners or serial monogamy. I had to take the hard science and biology courses in college, as part of nurses' training, including sociology and anthropology, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out this basic truth as to human nature, which people who don't like it still persist in denying, in the face of the evidence. Our culture has imposed monogamy, when the natural
biological instinct, all impartial evidence indicates, is for polygamy as the norm.

As to jealousy: Unfortunately, it, too, seems to be built right into the species, and people have to understand it and try to work to overcome it. It helps to know that, just because a person has a need for variety, that does not mean he loves his primary partner any the less, and it is time we recognized the biological directive for what it is--natural--and stopped castigating men for it.

I know, there are many radical feminists who would call me an apologist for cads, but the truth is, I am a realist. I believe, for instance, that Hillary Clinton was stupid for not inviting the Monica tart to tea, and assuring her she was aware of the situation, and that she could count on job security and a Camp David weekend cabin assignment next door to the Presidential one, SO LONG AS SHE COULD BE TRUSTED TO KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT ABOUT PRIVATE MATTERS AND NOT ENDANGER HER HUBBY'S PUBLIC IMAGE."

Now from my side, Maureen and I have been married for 5 years, she knew when she married me that I have always needed a variety of sex partners. It is just the way I have always been. As Prince I will have many women come on to me, I will not have the inclination to respond if I have wonderful ladies in the palace to satisfy the in-born need for variety. This will protect me from all kinds of problems. True, the girls making up my staff will not be trouble free, but if they are my slaves and are there because they love me and want to be there, I will have the best of all worlds.

The girls will also have the best of everything, living conditions, perks and lifestyle and a great adventure. I have one slave now, kyla (40), when and if you are interested I would let the two of you talk so you can see just what I (and life here) am like.

Since you no doubt saw our pictures on the web site and I have attached one here, I am 6’2” 195# and play racquetball three times a week. I would prefer that you write to (removed).

Sincerely,
(removed)
 
Too funny.

I went to the website. *snickers*

I'm particularly amused by the fact that he's calling himself Lazarus Long... taken directly from the main character of Heinlen's book, Time Enough For Love.

Cheesy. Seriously cheesy. But hey, whatever floats his boat, eh?
 
InnerDarkness said:

Since you no doubt saw our pictures on the web site and I have attached one here, I am 6’2” 195# and play racquetball three times a week. I would prefer that you write to (removed).
Sincerely,

(removed)
I think the princess is a hottie! Could I have the address so I could write? :eek:

But, if I don't play racquetball, is that a deal breaker, do you think?
 
InnerDarkness said:
I opened an account at B.com a while back and am AMAZED at the messages I get from people and my profile CLEARLY states that I am not looking.

This may not be kind, but I want to post this one here that I got recently...I am assuming he sends it to a LOT of people, because he is "recruiting" and has a webpage and everything:

I was floored...is this really how people seek others out? Board monitors...feel free to delete or edit this if I am out of line...

[SNIP]


Wow, someone really put a lot of thought into that. Wonder what the response was like?
 
redelicious said:
Wow, someone really put a lot of thought into that. Wonder what the response was like?

my personal reponse was to hit the DELETE button. I wonder how many others respond to those kind...
 
InnerDarkness said:
my personal reponse was to hit the DELETE button. I wonder how many others respond to those kind...

Well, you know, SOMEONE must be biting, otherwise I can't see how one could justify the lengths that guy went to. It just makes me wonder who would look at that and say to themselves, "hey, this dude is for me."
 
Ya'll ain't heard nothing yet...

I was told about this "Great" site called collarme... so I signed up for an account. My first six emails were from guys in poly relationships, who wanted me to relocate (why do I ALWAYS get those???) and one was searching for a "submissive administrative assistant, live in position in a poly home office, starting salary 75k a year, plus living expenses, and any clothes that 'might' be allowed to wear. Work attire is high heels and a collar."

My profile said, again, Not Slave Material... NOT willing to relocate. I gave up and deleted the account today... it was sooo not worth the email notifications :rolleyes:
 
niteshade said:
Ya'll ain't heard nothing yet...

I was told about this "Great" site called collarme... so I signed up for an account. My first six emails were from guys in poly relationships, who wanted me to relocate (why do I ALWAYS get those???) and one was searching for a "submissive administrative assistant, live in position in a poly home office, starting salary 75k a year, plus living expenses, and any clothes that 'might' be allowed to wear. Work attire is high heels and a collar."

My profile said, again, Not Slave Material... NOT willing to relocate. I gave up and deleted the account today... it was sooo not worth the email notifications :rolleyes:


*perk* 75k?

LOL, no really...are all the Doms on these sites independantly wealthy? I just want to know what kind of business they are in where they can afford all expenses paid live-in admin assistants.
 
redelicious said:
*perk* 75k?

LOL, no really...are all the Doms on these sites independantly wealthy? I just want to know what kind of business they are in where they can afford all expenses paid live-in admin assistants.

Eh, they are all HNG's who are just hoping ...
 
i am a member at b. com to and no people there cant read. i get male from men when it states we are looking for other women.
 
lorddragonwolf said:
i am a member at b. com to and no people there cant read. i get male from men when it states we are looking for other women.

Gender-bending, are you? :p ;)

I gave up totally on all the sites that have personals. I can't tell you the last time that we checked b.com ... and alt ... ug ... just turned them off so that the idiots couldn't bug us anymore. :rolleyes: I have been known to tell them to go back to kindergarden ... I have also put up in ads here on lit and on the other sites that being a sub means being able to take and follow instructions .. reading the profile completely is the first test - if they fail it, they are gone. And when they contact us, I quiz them on the profile ... if they fail, they don't get a second chance.
 
I got one from a person...I wish I had saved it. It was all in caps, talking about how hot he was for me. How he was a self-made millionaire with lots of his own pot on hand...not clay pots...marijuana...because he made sure to mention never getting busted.

It just went on and on with all this wild stuff....it was kinda humorous....
 
It is funny but I have actually has some sucess with both sites. I met Himself on alt.com over 2 years ago... and I have met a sub and a Domme on bondage.com.
 
cellis said:
It is funny but I have actually has some sucess with both sites. I met Himself on alt.com over 2 years ago... and I have met a sub and a Domme on bondage.com.

I will admit freely that there are some good people on both sites. As a matter of fact, we are preparing to meet with a boy that we met on alt, and have hopes of adding him to our 'family'. But overall, the people that we have met there are hngs, idiots, and/or assholes.
 
Okay so most of Alt.com's not worth looking into... hmm...
Hadn't thought of how difficult it might be to meet the possible third hubby and I have been talking about, though that's still about 18 months away.
Shall have to keep that in mind then.
*tilts head in thought*
I imagine that the idiots send out form emails to lots of girls/guys/etc on the hope that of all those people, at least one will reply.
Pathetic, kind of in away.
 
cellis said:
It is funny but I have actually has some sucess with both sites. I met Himself on alt.com over 2 years ago... and I have met a sub and a Domme on bondage.com.

Okay.. I forgot about the married man who wanted me to fuck all his friends, his biker friends while is wife was in the the other room... when I told him thanks for the offer but it was not in my stars... he said mean things about not knowing what i was missing... oh yes I do!
 
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