Celibacy

[bailadora]

Trolls don't say vile things out of ignorance, they say them deliberately. They don't actually need to be enlightened in the sense of helping them to understand why they're wrong.

A lot of guys online masturbate to porn. Some masturbate to the idea that they've gotten people angry.

True. I honestly don't know (nor do I really care) enough about Hussar to say whether or not he's a troll, or if he actually believes women should still be subservient to men. We all know there ARE still cultures/countries out there where women have little to no rights at all.

In either case, troll or misogynist, I suspect this is one argument best left alone. Just my .02 worth.

 

[Aphro]

A lot of guys online masturbate to porn. Some masturbate to the idea that they've gotten people angry.

So this is what explains the GB! Thank you!

 

[satindesire]

He's fully aware that he's a throwback to a caveman and he doesn't give a shit. Save your breath, Satin. Trying to enlighten him would be an exercise in futility.

*wrinkles nose in disgust* This whole thread stinks. I totally agree with you.

 

[subdued_passion]

So this is what explains the GB! Thank you!

He he he. That's funny coz it's true.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

In your world, I am a man.

In any world youre prolly a man, cuz most McLIT women are men.

 

[gagginforit]

You all realise that talking about him you're just encouraging him, right?

 

[Blase]

So this is what explains the GB! Thank you!

You're welcome. There are actually some very genuine people on the GB, including some members of the "Old Guard" whose presence here predates the partitioning of the boards. But there's so much hate and BS there that I generally shy away.

 

[Noor]

In any world youre prolly a man, cuz most McLIT women are men.

LOL! If only...

There are rl people on lit who know I am female.

 

[Aphro]

In any world youre prolly a man, cuz most McLIT women are men.

OK then, If I am a man, I want a life re-do and I want my fucking penis back!!!

 

[gagginforit]

I've often had the suspicioun that I'm a man.

 

[Noor]

OK then, If I am a man, I want a life re-do and I want my fucking penis back!!!

I want the increase in income!

 

[Que]

I want the increase in income!

Oh stop...the mythical 23 cents becomes 9 cents when you compare people by gender in the exact same proffessions.. eliminate the extra pay that comes from working more hours and you will find that women make more than men. Single women in every age category make more on average than single man as it is... how much more equal do you need to be before you stop whining? If you know of one single instance were any woman anywhere in any job gets paid less than a man doing the same job in the same company take it to an attorney you will win every time.

And to give you a specific for instance: The original poster is a woman and makes more than her husband who is a man which is part of (his) problem.

I wa talking to a girl had never applied for or held a job in her entire life. She's on full ride scholarship partially because she's a woman and the child of a single woman.

She was telling me how she is learning in the ivory tower how strong she needs to keep men from keeping her down in the job market.

Women who are in the majority in this country and who are the majority in the world, are probably the worst of all of the victim classes when they choose to call themselves victims.

 

[Saltee]

Are you insane?

Because your woman must serve you irrespective of her desire to do so.

The entire purpose of marriage is to have a woman whom you have unlimited sexual access to. Otherwise, there is no purpose whatsoever. It's a duty for a wife to please her husband.

Moreover, if your wife isn't giving it up, why don't you have a girl on the side? So long as she's not married, it is not adultery. And no woman can complain if she won't fuck you that you're fucking someone else. This is, I suppose, the option for men not manly enough to demand what's theirs. At the very least, they'll still be satisfied.

In other words, you have two options:

1. Man up and make your wife give you what's yours by right.

2. Take up with a mistress. Be sure she's not married.

You're a coward or half a man if you do not do one of these things.

Because these ramblings make you seem so. How long have you been married?

 

[silverwhisper]

saltee, you'll have to forgive hussar. he's one of several resident fuckwits.

ed

 

[fire_breeze]

Oh stop...the mythical 23 cents becomes 9 cents when you compare people by gender in the exact same proffessions.. eliminate the extra pay that comes from working more hours and you will find that women make more than men. Single women in every age category make more on average than single man as it is... how much more equal do you need to be before you stop whining? If you know of one single instance were any woman anywhere in any job gets paid less than a man doing the same job in the same company take it to an attorney you will win every time.

And to give you a specific for instance: The original poster is a woman and makes more than her husband who is a man which is part of (his) problem.

I wa talking to a girl had never applied for or held a job in her entire life. She's on full ride scholarship partially because she's a woman and the child of a single woman.

She was telling me how she is learning in the ivory tower how strong she needs to keep men from keeping her down in the job market.

Women who are in the majority in this country and who are the majority in the world, are probably the worst of all of the victim classes when they choose to call themselves victims.

What's your sources?

Yes, there are some cases where a woman makes more than a man in the same profession but that is more the exception rather than the rule as shown in this quick view (which shows that single women earn less than married).

Additionally, if your friend is in grad school, she will learn that in many discipline, having a penis is a considerable advantage - as she has told you. In this part of the world, in many work places, white men earn more. This is the sad unfortunate truth.

 

[RuzieD]

I was celibate for a long time due to religious reasons. They were not very good reasons.

No relationships at this time for me, and recently moved so that hampered the romantic pursuits.

Good news, is that I moved to Las Vegas.

 

[PeterCohen]

I don't know if this is the right place, but is anyone else celibate (either by choice or not), married or single? I am married and have been essentially celibate (not by choice) for about 5 years and I can only assume it will not change.

I still have sexual desires and fantasies and enjoy reading erotica. I am just curious if anyone else on Lit has experienced this or understands it - being a sexual person without actually having any sexual contact? I'm lonely in the sense that I really don't have anyone in my life I can discuss this with - friends, sisters, etc. (I have friends and family - I just don't feel comfortable discussing this.)

Anyway - not looking for a hook up - just wondering if I'm not the only one in this situation.

You are not alone dude. I think you need to acquire some skills to socialize with girls that is.

When you have the opportunity, just relax and be sincere. When you see or meet a girl you like, make brief eye contact and smile. Strike up a casual, flirty conversation and see how she reacts.

If you avoid her eyes and act nervous, she's going to go into overdrive working out what on earth you mean. Girls react mainly on body language and emotions.

If you make them feel happy, they'll see you as fun and caring. If you creep them out, they will get nervous - in the options between fight or flight, flight is the most preferable.

If you wanna know more you can check this out: http://WinRomanceBack.com
Hope it helps.

 

[perrafuker]

im celibate because of disability and basically because women evade me because of it.it sucks but there is nothing that i can do about it.i have tried and tried but its of no use...

 

[MrFoxwood]

It sounds like you're in the same boat as me. I've been celibate since my wife conceived our child (he's nearly two years old). We've talked about it and I feel like a bastard for getting so frustrated about it as my wife's reasons are valid: insecurities, stress etc because we've had a tough couple of years, and I know she's trying so hard to overcome these obstacles. The problem is that the longer it goes on the less secure I feel, I don't want her to think that I'm pushing, so I hold back, but then what if she thinks I'm not interested. The joke is that she's happier and relaxed when we've had sex, but we can't get to that point until she's happy and relaxed. I miss the closeness, the affectionate touch of skin on skin, I miss sharing wild abandon and breathless satisfaction.

We've been together nearly ten years and I feel like I have to tiptoe around the subject of sex for fear of scaring her off completely. It really feels good to be able to talk about it though, as you say, there's not a whole lot of people in my life that I can discuss it with.

 

[Que]

It sounds like you're in the same boat as me. I've been celibate since my wife conceived our child (he's nearly two years old). We've talked about it and I feel like a bastard for getting so frustrated about it as my wife's reasons {edit; excuses SEEM valid} are valid: insecurities, stress etc because we've had a tough couple of years, and I know she's trying so hard to overcome these obstacles. {edit: There is no try, do, or do not. - Jedi Master Yoda} The problem is that the longer it goes on the less secure I feel, I don't want her to think that I'm pushing, so I hold back, but then what if she thinks I'm not interested. The joke is {edit: this is serious it is no joke} that she's happier and relaxed when we've had sex, but we can't get to that point until she's happy and relaxed. I miss the closeness, the affectionate touch of skin on skin, I miss sharing wild abandon and breathless satisfaction.

We've been together nearly ten years and I feel like I have to tiptoe around the subject of sex for fear of scaring her off completely. It really feels good to be able to talk about it though, as you say, there's not a whole lot of people in my life that I can discuss it with.

Sorry but no, her concerns aren't somehow valid and yours aren't.

Express to her clearly as you did here what it is that you miss about that sense of connectedness and your very real concern. If the collapse entirely of your relationship and marriage isn't also on that list of very real concerns it should be.

Sex giving you that feeling of closeness is not a side effect, it is by design.

I sense the sincerity of your love and concern, but for the love of all that is holy you HAVE to man up and be very direct about this. Being accommodating to a woman who is withdrawing from sex might well be borne of compassion but you do her no favors as she is also NOT having those benefits that you would gladly offer her through sex.

But this is key, (you will likely NOT buy this the first time you hear it so like the SNL skit, "Hear me now and believe me later" ): Accommodating a woman is NOT sexy to HER. You can be gentlemanly, courtly....but NEVER, EVER a doormat.

YOU are at risk for an affair even with a heart of gold and the morals of the pope. The first woman that validates your latent sexuality is going to seem a goddess...

...and SHE is at risk for an affair. The first "Bad Boy' that brushes aside her feeble protestations that she "just doesn't feel sexual" is in her pants.

Be that guy.

Start acting like that guy. Pay attention to your personal grooming, posture. Attend to your hobbies or develop some.

DON'T try to bargain sex from her by becoming her pesonal maid to "take the burden off"

DO manly shit (men talk like that) Change the oil in your car even if you can easily hire it out. Chop firewood. Without a shirt on. In the snow.

I don't have the cite but it seems studies confirm a drop in testosterone among new fathers...it makes us better nesters, but LESS sexy. Get it back..exercise, diet and doing the things that come naturally to single guys on the prowl.

Make a POINT of being as sexy as you know how to be especially whenever you leave the house. Don't be an ass about it but practice chatting up women, it builds confidence and confidence is sexy. Don't hesitate to smile and charm a woman in your wife's presence. Be a guy women desires, she will suddenly (well probably not suddenly, mind you) remember that SHE is a woman and desires you also... for all the reasons you are together. She will do what women do to gain your attention.

 

[MrFoxwood]

Query, you're right of course and I have begun much of your advice already, partly because I'd considered it a means of igniting some interest and partly because I wanted to change for myself.

We have just relocated, away from our families, away from everyone we know and now very much dependent on ourselves, which is providing a lot of opportunities for me to demonstrate my ability to do manly shit. It is early days but things have certainly been looking better since the move.

I read about the drop in testosterone in new fathers a while back and while I found it fascinating the information that men who spend a lot of time with their new child see the greatest decrease in testosterone really bothered me as I look after our boy for most of the day.

Thanks for your encouragement.

 

[Que]

Query, you're right of course and I have begun much of your advice already, partly because I'd considered it a means of igniting some interest and partly because I wanted to change for myself.

We have just relocated, away from our families, away from everyone we know and now very much dependent on ourselves, which is providing a lot of opportunities for me to demonstrate my ability to do manly shit. It is early days but things have certainly been looking better since the move.

I read about the drop in testosterone in new fathers a while back and while I found it fascinating the information that men who spend a lot of time with their new child see the greatest decrease in testosterone really bothered me as I look after our boy for most of the day.

Thanks for your encouragement.

I'm glad that you see it for what it was which was encouragement.

Google to find Athol Kaye's blog and forum he has I haven't been to his forum it's new..

Title of the blog I believe is married man sex life MMSL
.

He has a book by that name, haven't read the book I think it's mostly an edited version of blog posts.

 

[pfflyerhot]

Fuck!

I don't know. Still... this whole married/sexless issue pains me to no end. Baffles me. Of course, I'm not married and sexless. I'm
sexless and I'm single, that way. Not married. At least it makes sense for me, sexless, being single and all. Heck if I know which is worse.
Perhaps, opportunity is everything, maybe... unless its staring you in the face..? I dunno. Actually, now that I think about it, opportunity can be everything, and so can ...perception. In fact, perception might just be everything.
Feel it. Say it. Mean it. Listen. Ask. Repeat... etc...
I'm not dissing one side or the other with my post, just expressing my inability to convey how this subject vexes me... as a single person, a long time single person... I did, though, years ago, live in a unhappy relationship, exhausting my inner soul, my inner strength... until I had the glorious realization, after a year of... uh... nevermind...
A fucking, fucked-up human condition conundrum, at the bare minimum, is all I know. Tragedy, really.
Best wishes to all.
pplwatching, I think, is onto to something big, in all this. Might wanna give thought to what he has to say ... jmo.

 

[Scattered_Ice]

married celibate guys? what the hell am I reading, why don't you get an escort if it's legal where you are

 

[gagginforit]

I can identify with this although I'm not married. I date from time to time but always end up getting the "you're a great guy I just don't feel a spark" speech. I go the escort route from time to time, maybe once a year or so... and that's it, that's my sex/love life.