Challenge: How Can I Punish Her Over The Phone??

[Endless_Night]

I certainly agree with Sir_Winston54 and Netzach about wanting to be in a relationship with an adult. However, I think they're making some negative judgments on the nature of "punishment".

We get a lot of pleasure from the punishment aspect of our play. My SO enjoys my flouting him when we slip into sex mode. For whatever reason, he thinks its "cute" and "adorable". It also gives me a chance to be silly and bratty instead of my usual responsible demeanor.

More importantly, It seems to create a line for us, where we can slip from RL into fantasy. This is a big deal, as I'm very dominant outside of sex, and it can be difficult for us to step outside our RL personas.

Are we not "adult" for doing what works for us?

I don't think it matters what you call what you are doing, call it play, punishment or even substantive-gorbondalising. So long as both of you understand the same term to mean the same thing the primary function of language, unambiguous communication, is fulfilled.

This sums it up beautifully.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

I hope you let him pee before you had him edge

If I was in a good mood
I had to end the exercise earlier than planned due to him walking round his office, perma hard and having sex pest type comments made.
I'm not much of a Domme, but that amused me.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

@Sweetdaisymae[/B]
That's so cruel!! Yet so brilliant lol...btw is that really you singing in your sig? That was marvelous! Your writing is very nice too..it was quite a turn on.[/QUOTE]

Yes, that's me. Recorded it about 2 years ago.
Thank you for your compliments

 

[Netzach]

I certainly agree with Sir_Winston54 and Netzach about wanting to be in a relationship with an adult. However, I think they're making some negative judgments on the nature of "punishment".

We get a lot of pleasure from the punishment aspect of our play. My SO enjoys my flouting him when we slip into sex mode. For whatever reason, he thinks its "cute" and "adorable". It also gives me a chance to be silly and bratty instead of my usual responsible demeanor.

More importantly, It seems to create a line for us, where we can slip from RL into fantasy. This is a big deal, as I'm very dominant outside of sex, and it can be difficult for us to step outside our RL personas.

Are we not "adult" for doing what works for us?



This sums it up beautifully.

You're misinterpreting what I'm saying.

I'm saying that manufactured fun "mistakes" draw too much criticism from people who prefer real punishment for real mistakes - punishment as a way to handle actual relationship dynamic issues.

The idea that if you're not doing serious punishment dynamics "oh no I fear and avoid all punishment because I know I've seriously let my partner down" - you're somehow not doing it "right."

I'm saying that anyone can throw out "you're doing it wrong" for any reason, and giving an example using my own personal preferences as a universal standard.

I like "punishment" as a seduction thing once in a while.

 

[Endless_Night]

You're misinterpreting what I'm saying.

Hmmm. Having read back over you're original post I have to say - mea culpa. Familial obligation sends me out to make the rounds on certain holidays. (My own personal flagellation events.) The anticipation tends to make me, well, a little testy.

Funishment and Arbitrary Punishment aside, I still have to admit a sneaking interest in Cathartic Punishment. Not really for "being let off the hook" per se, but more as a tool for "unhealthy" guilt.

 

[Emmanuelle83]

LDR really suck. But it's probably not the wisest thing to try to recreate every kind of thing you can do in a skin-to-skin relationship when all you have is two buzzing cell phones. Better to work within the limits of the medium, especially at first.

Besides, if she's looking for punishment and youk give in to provide it, then you're no longer really in charge. You do want to be in charge, don't you?