Clever offer for sex that went completely over my head

I was going out of town for a week and asked a female neighbor to keep an eye on my cat ( yes I had a cat). That’s another story!
Anyway, I went to slip my apartment key under her door on my way out headed to the airport and my cat escaped down they hall. So I ran in hot pursuit to catch him, and I caught him at her door. I slid my key in an envelope under her door and immediately the door opens. As I look up she is standing there in sheer panties and I can see her pussy lips and her bush neatly groomed. Now my cat is weaving in and out of her legs as I am trying to gather myself and capture him. I told her what happened and she never tried to cover up for what seemed like an eternity because I was in shock and late for the airport! I took my cat back to my apartment and left for the airport. There have been a million times I have wondered….. did I miss an opportunity? That is just one of sexual fumbles!!
Yeah, I think you missed out...
 
...

Anybody ever completely miss an offer of sex where the invitation went over your head at the time?
Yes, missed them both from men and women. Missed one last week. In a sex shop buying something and the guy in front of me turned and looked me up and down three times. Should have picked up on it the third time, at least. Really on the first, that's how slow I am.

Once was a hot woman working in a pharmacy, basically said she wanted to fuck. Instead of ignoring it, better would have been "Sometimes I'm free." A checkout girl in a ranch supply, pretty similar.

Checking in a hotel there was a couple in front of me, the guy was busy checking in and the woman, in a really hot black dress, turned and smiled, stared at me non stop and gave off all the signs. I should have scribbled a note and handed it to her. Just one word would have done it. "Later?"

Two women in auto parts stores, one in a stationary store and one guy in line at auto parts. Two different guys that came to the house to quote small jobs were definitely seeking to give bjs.

A really, really hot tall black girl sitting in her car in Vegas talked me up when I walked by. In that case it was clear she was a pro. I should have stayed for the initial pitch and chatted a bit. She was one of those women you feel great just looking at them, just talking to her. Always regretted not going further.

Many other times. I'm really pretty stupid on this stuff.

One small bit of advice, ALWAYS address those behind checkout and store counters and such by their name on their nametag. They have boring, frustrating long hours and people really treat them like robots. They are not, they are 100% human and need respect. Yes, that includes the crap fast food drive thru. You're likely to be the only person in the day who shows that small courtesy. Address her by her name in the drive thru, a couple days later go in to each and do it again, you've literally just made a friend.
 
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When I was 18, I had my girlfriend dry hump me topless for hours when we were both virgins. I’ve been told by others that was a request for sex, but I didn’t see it that way at the time.
 
Many, many years ago when I was much younger, an attractive woman about my age came to my door selling magazine subscriptions. (She was a victim of the scam that hired young people to travel around and sell subscriptions door-to-door. They took your money and disappeared. Years later a class-action suit got me a few magazine subscriptions.) But to the point...

We were sitting on my couch picking out magazines and she asked "Do you like soft moans or loud screams?" Me being in full Charlie Brown mode missed it entirely. After she left I realized what she was asking. Went out and found her somewhere in the complex, asked her out, but she turned me down - had to get back in the van and go on to the next town.

Sometimes I wish I weren't so innocent...or slow.
 
During my first three years of college I had a steady girlfriend. She was a hot little blonde with tits 2 sizes too big for her body. I was not always faithful, however, and often succumbed to girls that were even hotter than her. So one night we were invited to the home of a friend from high school who lived in the family housing section due to being a single mom. On the night of the dinner my girlfriend could not go because she had a paper due the next day, although I lied and said she was not feeling well. Anyway, at dinner I met my friend's younger sister, who was smoking hot and gave off a very slutty vibe. I was entranced. I wanted to fuck her that night. So I hung around late into the evening, hoping for a chance to get into the younger sister's panties. She flirted with me all night, but my friend never left us alone and eventually she went to her room to go to bed.
That left my friend and I. She sat very close to me and confessed that she was having a real hard time being a single parent, and that she was very lonely -- she had not been on a date in over two years. I asked about her sister and child, and she said that's not what she meant. She looked straight into my eyes and squeezed my arm while she spoke. I knew what she wanted, but I was still interested in the younger sister. R was a chubby woman with enormous tits, but only average looks. The younger sister was far prettier and had a pin-up body. So I looked at my watch, noticed it was late, and said I had to go. Big mistake. My obsession with hot girls caused me to turn down an invitation from a good friend who I'm sure would have been an enthusiastic and giving lover. That wasn't really a message I missed, but rather, one I dismissed.
 
I was working as a waitress, there was this big bearded, tattooed, scruffy guy that came in everyday at lunch and always ordered the same thing. He would flirt with me, flash his smile and on slow days talk to me for at least an hour.
One day we got to talking about my car not running properly he suggested I bring it around his place that afternoon and he'd take a look at it. We didn't have much money at that time and my ex was useless with anything mechanical so I jumped at the chance.
I picked my two girls up from school and drove right over to his house giving myself 2 hours before getting my boy.
He walked out of his house and his face beamed up until he seen my girls in the back. The smile dropped a little but he got to work as the girls played tag in his front yard.
He leaned in closer and said "ya know next time a guy offers you to come to his house it's not gonna be the car motor he wants to get running."
I turned bright red, the idea of him wanting me even after all the flirting hadn't even crossed my mind. I wasn't used to that kind of attention from anyone.
 
During my first three years of college I had a steady girlfriend. She was a hot little blonde with tits 2 sizes too big for her body. I was not always faithful, however, and often succumbed to girls that were even hotter than her. So one night we were invited to the home of a friend from high school who lived in the family housing section due to being a single mom. On the night of the dinner my girlfriend could not go because she had a paper due the next day, although I lied and said she was not feeling well. Anyway, at dinner I met my friend's younger sister, who was smoking hot and gave off a very slutty vibe. I was entranced. I wanted to fuck her ...
What to do? There is always one that is hotter and sluttier?

As for the average-looker I concur that it was a mistake for you to not try her out. First of all she might have been the Blowjob Universe Queen; second she might (possibly) not have minded if you went after the younger sister. Don't know if you don't ask.
 
In college the girl down the hall in my dorm was a tall GORGEOUS blonde who was always super playful.

I was super into her but thought she was out of my league. So I ignored her BLATANT green light signals like how everytime she knew I was in the hallway she would blare "Just A Little Crush" (by Jennifer Paige if you want to look up how obvious this was on YouTube) and come out and dance with me.

Shecd come over and say her feet or back were soar and she needed a massage.....always in cute tiny little shorts and a tight t shirt....

Here I was thinking "Man if only I could" and there she was thinking "Man, if only he would"

It was graduation when she asked me why we never hooked up. With my mom there it seemed like a bad time to run off for the "shoulda done this sooner" quickie .

Point is, besides that at 21 I was a fucking moron, is you should never think someone is out of your league. You might be giving up a great opportunity.
 
Come to think of it ....

THESE guys didn't think anything was out of their league.


I must have been fucking moron too. Less so today. Most of the time.
 
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I was working as a waitress, there was this big bearded, tattooed, scruffy guy that came in everyday at lunch and always ordered the same thing. He would flirt with me, flash his smile and on slow days talk to me for at least an hour.
One day we got to talking about my car not running properly he suggested I bring it around his place that afternoon and he'd take a look at it. We didn't have much money at that time and my ex was useless with anything mechanical so I jumped at the chance.
I picked my two girls up from school and drove right over to his house giving myself 2 hours before getting my boy.
He walked out of his house and his face beamed up until he seen my girls in the back. The smile dropped a little but he got to work as the girls played tag in his front yard.
He leaned in closer and said "ya know next time a guy offers you to come to his house it's not gonna be the car motor he wants to get running."
I turned bright red, the idea of him wanting me even after all the flirting hadn't even crossed my mind. I wasn't used to that kind of attention from anyone.
Well, welcome to lit, I’m sure you will get lots of attention
 
I have a bunch of these missed opportunities--women, even girlfriends at times, could hit me with a bat that said "fuck me now" and I'd be thick enough to not know for sure they were interested--I but I look back on all of those missed chances with a laugh.

My favorite was this one cute girl that shared a class with me in college. We had been making small talk for weeks, then one day it's pouring outside and she comes in drenched, soaked head to toe from the walk into the building. She asked me if should could come over to my place to toss her clothes into the dryer. My brilliant response was to say that I live too far from campus and she'd probably be dry by the time we left and got there. Woosh. For some reason we talked a lot less after that day...
 
Women more usually more subtle than men when it comes to propositioning someone they fancy. I was chatting to a young widow once who made a point of telling me that she often felt lonely now that her husband had gone. It took me a full day to realise what she was hinting.
 
Here's mine....I had my own struggling business, which I had just decided to close up and go back to working for the man. So I had just finished a job that was my biggest, most lucrative up to that point, meaning I got a very nice check at the end. There was a rather nice looking young woman working in the office at my customer's business, and I had long had a very quiet crush on her. When I went in to collect my huge check, I waved it over my head and asked "anybody here want to go to the Bahamas?". Said young women, "I will!!". I was so thrilled to get that check, I didn't even hear her, until I was replaying the day in my head. That was 25 years ago, and I still shake my head when I think of it. Cheryl, I'm sorry!
 
I have a bunch of these missed opportunities--women, even girlfriends at times, could hit me with a bat that said "fuck me now" and I'd be thick enough to not know for sure they were interested--I but I look back on all of those missed chances with a laugh.

My favorite was this one cute girl that shared a class with me in college. We had been making small talk for weeks, then one day it's pouring outside and she comes in drenched, soaked head to toe from the walk into the building. She asked me if should could come over to my place to toss her clothes into the dryer. My brilliant response was to say that I live too far from campus and she'd probably be dry by the time we left and got there. Woosh. For some reason we talked a lot less after that day...
Same here, unless they were laying naked, spreadeagle telling me come get it, I just thought they were being friendly. To go back knowing what I know now :)
 
Another one was a friend many years ago. She was single at the time, very flirty, we were just hanging out at her apartment. We're getting ready to go to a party or something later that night, and she says that she's going to go change clothes. So I'm waiting there on the couch as she goes through to the bedroom without bothering to close the door, and a minute later (the door still wide open) she says not to come in because she's totally naked. And being polite I just shrug and say, "Okay."

...If only she had just walked out. She could have had me all night, every night, all the time. Oh well!
 
I was 18 as a sophomore in college and very virgin and inexperienced. I was struggling in my Spanish class when a senior girl in class offered to help study with me. She was 22 , red headed, big breasted, and gorgeous. We went to a small, conservative, religious school but there were rumors she had actually broken up a young married couple by sleeping with the husband and was kind of scandalized at the school. She lived a couple blocks off campus in a house with a couple other girls.

I came over on a Friday night. Her housemates I was told were gone for the weekend so if I wanted to stay all weekend to study Spanish I could. We ended up watching a movie and cuddling in the couch. I still didn't get it. She insisted on showing me her bedroom after that. I finally figured it out and made out with her on her bed. It got hot fast and I ended up cumming before I got my pants off. She told me I could stay and wash them there. She is me it was okay and we could try again. I was too flustered and embarrassed. I went home to my dorm room.

I did come over a couple more times and got closer but never got to the promised land even though it was clearly open for me. Definitely a bummer looking back
 
Some I missed. Some I missed on purpose. but I also took some shots that were both as well.
 
As a pretty naive 18 year old I remember one in particular. I was studying at a Polytechnic on the edge of London and an old school friend had a cousin who was a student nurse at Charing Cross Hospital. I was visiting home one weekend and she was visiting my mate. On the Sunday she was getting ready to go back but said that she didn't really want to as there would be no one in her flat and she would be lonely. She had a car and I didn't so she offered me a lift. Driving to my place we missed the turning and I just asked her to drop me so I could walk the rest, she was a bit taken aback but did so. It was only when my mate asked me whether I had fucked his cousin that the possibility occurred to me- and I already had a massive crush on her. Over the next few years I tried but I think she had decided that I'd had my chance and I was too stupid to bother with.
 
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