Cock Talk

[EvaLane]

I believe “slippery” is the root of the problem…

It’s definitely not part of the solution

 

[deft]

It’s definitely not part of the solution

A slippery tip leads to all sorts of complications.

 

[Mr_bogey]

A long Winter’s nut . . .

Now that the holidays are behind us and it’s time to get back into the groove, many of us in the Northern areas must settle in for the eternal Winter. This can sometimes be a burden on the old sex drive, how do you deal with this?

Are you less sexually active in the Winter months?
Do you find sex or masturbation more difficult under all those blankets and warm clothing?
Do you/have you and your partner taken a winter vacation, gone sex skiing, snow hot tubing, or just had a good old fashioned fuck in the snowy forest when nobody was around?
Does snow make you horny?
Have you ever gone Winter camping?
When you make a snowman, do you make him anatomically correct? Flaccid or erect?
What is your most passionate story in the snow?
How do you feel about clothed sex? What is the best clothing for clothed sex?
Do you like taking snowballs to the face?

So I am not sure i have ever posted in this thread previously. When I see it on Pg 1, I do occasionally read a few pages for the entertainment value (please link to the Lurker's Confessional Thread).
Those of you that know me are aware I have no shame and am more than willing to bump a topic that's weeks old and already dead. So without further ado:

Are you less sexually active in the Winter months?

no

Do you find sex or masturbation more difficult under all those blankets and warm clothing?

no

Do you/have you and your partner taken a winter vacation, gone sex skiing, snow hot tubing, or just had a good old fashioned fuck in the snowy forest when nobody was around?

yes. I've done several adult ski trips and after a Feb wedding, honeymooned in Lake Tahoe - nuff said.

Does snow make you horny?

Not the snow itself. Snow tends to lead to things like fires, hot chocolate, playing in the snow and needing to get warm after. Snuggling becomes more necessary and body heat and friction tend to be good ways to get warm, so....

Have you ever gone Winter camping?
(Warning: rant coming)
What the actual fuck? This was the triggering question. It was in the teens here last night (Fahrenheit, not Celsius). Why the fuck would I want to sleep in an unheated piece of plastic on the hard, frozen ground? I'm an adult. I can afford a hotel room that has heat, a mattress, a toilet, a shower and is very nice to return to after being out in the cold.
I don't understand camping in the other seasons much either but winter camping is batshit crazy. Don't get me wrong, in high school, camping provided opportunities to get drunk without getting caught, to go skinny dipping and sleep with a young lady friend w/o getting caught and it was a necessary evil. The mosquito bites on my balls and ass were worth it. But once I got a job and could afford a hotel, packing a suitcase is bad enough. I dont want to pack and lug and set up all that gear. If I want to roast marshmallows over a fire, I have a firepit for that. People need to explain to me the joys of camping and hiking. #Idontgetit

I hang up and listen. Peace out.

 

[Taegul]

Hmmm, you could even make the rules that each player has a special hole and if you hit that hole you can put something other than a plastic missile in a plastic boat!

Now that’s a fucking game!

I see what you're up to. Trying to add something to MY CREATION so I have to share the profits and royalties! Never! It's all mine! I will be rich and spend my billions on booze, cars, and supermodels! It's mine, all mine!!!

Hold on a sec, I'm getting a phone call. Caller ID says it's the Hasbro Legal Department so I better take this call. BRB.....

 

[Apisto42]

View attachment 2590493

Reminds me of This comic strip.

Is it one of theirs or did you just use the same font?

And I’m all for the prisoners dilemma game. Could very easily lead to CFNM right off the bat.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Reminds me of This comic strip.

Is it one of theirs or did you just use the same font?

And I’m all for the prisoners dilemma game. Could very easily lead to CFNM right off the bat.

It's xkcd, yes

 

[Apisto42]

It's xkcd, yes

Love them.

So speaking of jerking off, what percentage of the time are you fine fuckers watching/reading porn or just raw dogging the ol beefstick/bean?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

#clubrawdog

 

[MedicalMuse]

My imagination works just fine

 

[EvaLane]

So speaking of jerking off, what percentage of the time are you fine fuckers watching/reading porn or just raw dogging the ol beefstick/bean?

I like listening to my porn, thank you very much!!

Well, not my porn

I like mixing memories and fantasies when I go off-roading

 

[LeSabreur]

Love them.

So speaking of jerking off, what percentage of the time are you fine fuckers watching/reading porn or just raw dogging the ol beefstick/bean?

Fully capable of rousing the Frightful Hog without assistance, I still prefer intellectual stimulation. Dirty talk, whether spoken or read...mmmmm....

 

[Xerxes82]

So speaking of jerking off, what percentage of the time are you fine fuckers watching/reading porn or just raw dogging the ol beefstick/bean?

I watch porn rarely. It helps sometimes, I'm very visual.

But usually it's just my imagination. It's always interesting to see what scenarios recur with frequency once they get in rotation. And which guest stars. There are perhaps 3 women who feature in my fantasies on the regular, plus whoever pops in for a go or two on the spur of the moment.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Love them.

So speaking of jerking off, what percentage of the time are you fine fuckers watching/reading porn or just raw dogging the ol beefstick/bean?

Sometimes reading. Sometimes listening to audio.
It's better with someone speaking to me.

 

[Apisto42]

Sometimes reading. Sometimes listening to audio.
It's better with someone speaking to me.

That reminds me, I need to get on vocaroo again…

 

[TomTeacher19]

My imagination works just fine

That's me too. Probably 90% or more of the time.

 

[Bbl87]

Love them.

So speaking of jerking off, what percentage of the time are you fine fuckers watching/reading porn or just raw dogging the ol beefstick/bean?

I'd say about 30% of the time using just my imagination, 70% with some kind of inspiration (could be video, audio, reading, or if I'm really lucky some live interactions!). Audio matters more to me than video, though both is great.

 

[Bbl87]

My imagination works just fine

Now THAT is a place I'd love to be a fly on the wall in!

 

[hotwords229_A]

Love them.

So speaking of jerking off, what percentage of the time are you fine fuckers watching/reading porn or just raw dogging the ol beefstick/bean?

I mean, it only takes, like . . . two minutes.

 

[EvaLane]

I mean, it only takes, like . . . two minutes.

 

[Apisto42]

I mean, it only takes, like . . . two minutes.

Fine: when you decide to engage in your ~2minutes of self flagellation, how often do you chose to consume media which is naughty in the eyes of your former nanny?

That work for you?

 

[hotwords229_A]

Fine: when you decide to engage in your ~2minutes of self flagellation, how often do you chose to consume media which is naughty in the eyes of your former nanny?

That work for you?

I’ll be back in two minutes, I gotta go look at some Nanny porn.

 

[Wand3rlust]

 

[Wand3rlust]

Or

 

[Apisto42]

Or

View attachment 2590819

That’s what i envision when trying to hold off a nut.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Or

View attachment 2590819

For some reason, when I read Nanny, I was thinking French Maid.
Thanks for clearing that up!