Cuckolding - I just don't get it...

[Nerd159]

@TJReilly and KinkyGAGuy,

It's complicated...I have thought long and hard about my contributions to the current state of our marriage, and can't entirely blame her. Most of my faithfulness was due to lack of opportunity rather than inherent integrity. I think both of us know deep down that it's over, but we're committed to at least finishing the job that we started with the girls.

As far as the kids are concerned, we've been really good about protecting them while still being honest with them that we're human and have problems. Plus, we are both committed to treating each other with respect, no matter what happens.

 

[Somehowyou]

Nerd...whatever you have to do. Sounds like you have an agreement.

For the life of me I do not know why this is a subject of masturbation (my wife cheating on me.) but it is one of my favorite topics. Years later she would talk about her boyfriend while we had sex and I loved it. It was an imaginary BF but it was still fun.

I remember that day vividly when I found the cards that she was saving that came with the flowers her lover sent her. My first thought was 3-sum and I had to beat off before I could become enraged. That was so confusing! I do not want to go through with that again. It was hell.

Maybe it is because people always want what you can't have? Someone else wanting to fuck her made her that much more desirable. Truly, truly more desirable. And she was dressing more sexy and was not concerned with me in the least.

Funny, I pleaded to get her back and that didn't help. She was cold. Not until I said fuck you and went my own separate way and she found out that I was starting to see other woman then she came running back. I thought that she didn't want me. Turns out that it was more important that no one else could have me. She felt like I did I guess.

20 years later....Now maybe I could turn this into a fun game but I rather not upset the apple cart. This is too risky. It is better left a fantasy.

I still don't understand.

 

[Mbiguy77]

Please don't take this post to be judgmental or argumentative; I'm just trying to understand...

As someone who's been cheated on repeatedly (and still platonically married for the kids), the experience was excruciatingly painful. How is it that a man can take pleasure in his wife giving herself to another guy? Again, just looking to understand.

(And yes, I may be a hypocrite, since the thought of her with another woman is F-ing hot!)

Ok I am in a marriage in which my wife sleeps with other men. Sometimes it's behind my back. Sometimes it's right in front of me. Sometimes I walk in on it happening. "Cheating" is fucking someone in private and hiding it from your significant other. I love my wife dearly and she does me. She has a high sex drive. We had a boring vanilla sex life at first. We had sex maybe twice a month due to work schedules and various other things. Then one night I asked her if she had any fantasies. She replied with the standard "not really." I said, "Come on. Tell me. Nothing you can say will upset me. Give me your best shot." She said, "Ok. Since you put it that way. You promise you won't be mad?" I said, "God as my witness." She said, "Ok but you promised." She paused and said, "I wanna have sex more." I said, "Well you know I would if we could get a better work schedule." She said, "Well, I mean that I am attracted to a couple ppl I work with." I peeked up. I said, "Like a threeway?" She said, "More like me fucking them alone. My fantasy is to have sex with another man and you walk in like from work and see me in his lap just riding the shit out of his dick."

Now I thought for sure that if I ever heard that I would get mad. I didn't. It turned me on. I also thought that I may get turned on by hearing about it but mad if I actually saw it. I said, "That actually sounds kinda hot." She was giddy. She said, "Really?" I said, "Yeah. Let's try doing that. What do you want me to be doing after I see you?" She said, "Get naked and masturbate while watching us." Omg, I was instantly turned on. Now she told me several months later that the guy she slept with the first time I caught her, she had slept with a few times already. Still didn't bother me for some reason.

Now, we will be walking and she will say, "He is hot. I'd love to wrap my legs around him."

 

[KinkyGAGuy]

So since I frequently have sex with a few couples that I know. I decided to ask two of the couples I have encounters with about their thoughts on the subject of cuckholding.

Couple 1 , mid 40's been married 15 years, second marriage for him, first marriage for her. Both bi, him submissive and bottoms mostly, her dominant towards him, submissive to other men and women. He participates with most of her male sex partners , and one of the her female partners. He states that the early in the marriage that the vanilla sex life was not doing anything for him, he always dreamed of being a submissive to a woman, and totally fantasized about sucking cock and being fuck in the ass while his beautiful dominant woman watched and directed as to what was happening. She said that he is a very attentive lover but never that take charge animal that she craved. Sex became non existent in their lives until they had a huge fight and to the point of splitting up they became honest with one another. He states that the emotional load of getting her off , is now off of his shoulders. She stated that she never dreamed that watching him being taken by a man was such a turn on for her. Also she stated that looking over at him stroking his cock while being taken by another is extremely erotic to her. She also added that it helps that when the guy cums, he is there to lick her clean, or to take the load in his mouth. Which they both said they enjoy. He is kept in a cock cage, at his request, as he says he is a jerking off fool, and does not wish to cum until she wants him to. Hot couple, I have enjoyed my times with them.


Couple 2,

Sat and talked with both today. I have been friends with them for a few years ,and sexual partner for her for 3 months. They have somewhat of an open marriage, but he chooses not to sleep around, but she does and says that it makes their sex life even greater. She laughed and stated nothing like coming home after having your world rocked, to a hard dicked husband that is ready to do it again. He states that she is all he needs, and that he knows that her sex drive is much higher than his, and it is good for both of them. I enjoy the sex with her, and am decent friends with him.. He does not watch nor does he wish to participate.

Both couples agreed that they would never do anything behind the other's back.

So I guess it works for some couples.

 

[amofiga]

I think some men like it because it satisfies some need to feel put upon. That's the negative type of reaction. On the other hand, I think some guys like it because they love knowing that their wife can be so sexually erotic and desirable to other men. I read something once about a guy who's wife was a Penthouse model and was turned on by the thought that other guys were being turned on and maybe jerking off looking at his wife. It's a frustration to try to figure out anyone's sexuality and their kinks and fetishes. It's best to just accept them without judgment and hope that they accept yours and go on with life.

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

wwwwwwwwwww

 

[policywank]

Now keep in mind - hub doesn't know I come to Lit & have online sex with men (hopefully) but he says & fantasizes about other men fucking me but I DON'T think he could ever go throu with it in reality-just not in his nature.

But how I understand cuckolding is hubby gets humiliated & I DO NOT go for that & he doesn't want that part of it.

But if I want him to "fire-off" ... OMG! all I have to do is start talking about male friends of ours fucking me-like a damn gun! LOL

There are societies today where men are humiliated if other men see their wife's face. No matter how strongly they feel that way does not make it so for the rest of us. We do not hold those values or expectations so their is no humiliation when your neighbour sees your wife's face.

Our presumption that monogamy is the rule is no more valid than their presumption that full body coverage is the rule. The "rules" of the marriage are set by the spouses not society.

We say a cuckold is humiliated because his wife cheated on him. She is only cheating if he had a reasonable expectation of monogamy. Whether or not someone is humiliated is inside their own hearts and minds and with reference to their actual expectations.

Not so long ago our society tried to humiliate and denigrate people for being attracted to the same sex or marrying someone of a different race. Thank goodness those people didn't let society dictate to them when they were or weren't humiliated.

 

[Denalinn]

Please don't take this post to be judgmental or argumentative; I'm just trying to understand...

As someone who's been cheated on repeatedly (and still platonically married for the kids), the experience was excruciatingly painful. How is it that a man can take pleasure in his wife giving herself to another guy? Again, just looking to understand.

(And yes, I may be a hypocrite, since the thought of her with another woman is F-ing hot!)

In my opinion you are correct. My husband and I did bring others to bed with us, it was an experience shared by us and for us. The other could and should enjoy themselves, but it was about us and our pleasure first and foremost. We are separated currently and I still prefer him, and it drives me crazy if I see him even talking to another woman, but I have shared him several times with no issue. To the point, if I do something with another and don't do it with him, I wouldn't expect him to enjoy it

 

[mterrence]

.....

 

[nick_alex]

I am not sure if cuckolding is the right term for us. I don´t enjoy humiliation and my gf is not into that.
For us everything started as a fantasy, stuff that couple discuss while making love. I love to look at her pretty face sucking me, and I always told her how beautiful and sexy she look with her lips and tongue on my cock. And that I wish I can fuck her from behind while she suck a cock, to feel her pussy wet and have a nice view of her sucking. We start doing some fantasies, talking about which guy she will want with us in bed, playing around that idea.
Whenever she went out with her friends, she told me afterwards about the different guys hitting on her, what they said, whenever she dance with some of them, how they try to feel her body, etc. She enjoys the attention she´s getting I feel so proud to have her as my mate.

We had a threesome some time ago being abroad, nothing much happened, but it was a very sexual experience for both of us. I completely trust her, as she trust me. We talk about it a lot and agreed to try it again. We don´t see this as an issue of "not loving each other" or something like that, but a way to fulfill some of our fantasies. And we agree to do anything together. Meaning, no fucking around, cheating, etc. I don´t even watch porn without her! Because I know she enjoy it too (class porn, not bullshit) and as I said, we promised to do everything together.

So, I guess is about the relationship, trust and love.

 

[Joankraig]

....... She stated that she never dreamed that watching him being taken by a man was such a turn on for her. Also she stated that looking over at him stroking his cock while being taken by another is extremely erotic to her. She also added that it helps that when the guy cums, he is there to lick her clean, or to take the load in .......

Both couples agreed that they would never do anything behind the other's back.

So I guess it works for some couples.

This certainly works for me and my husband. Something we do often and both find incredibly erotic

 

[SlutAddicted]

I can see your perspective but you are coming from a place of betrayal and hurt.

Your wife presumably committed to monogamy then went back on that promise in a callous and insensitive way. However, the selfishness of her actions is only connected to monogamy because that was the "agreement" against which her actions are measured. The root issue is her willingness to fuck you over for her own pleasure.

Now imagine a caring, giving, open and honest woman who happens to have sex with other men. Imagine she includes you in various ways and facilitates the best sex you have ever had. Imagine knowing she would never lie or deceive you and is deeply aware of your desires and insecurities. A woman who owns her own sexuality, that simply will not be tamed. A woman who knows you have given her a great gift and endeavours to treat you with respect.

Being promiscuous and being a selfish bitch are two different things that need not be linked.

 

[OpenMouth]

I think for those of us who were cheated on in some small way when in our formative years it represents that emotional longing and excitement that you only experience on the verge of sexual maturity.

If that doesn't make sense: I had a cutie girlfriend when I was about 14 and had my hands all over her any chance I could get, but it never got any further. When I came back from summer holidays with my parents, I found out sh'e kissed one of my friends. Probably very innocent but I was disgusted with her and broke it off.

That mess of emotions has kind of twisted all sorts of ways in the years since then... I met my first serious girlfriend while still a virgin; she had been sexually active with a number of partners already, despite being a year younger than me (I was 16). I tried not to think about it at the time, but subconsciously it must have made her more appealing to me; now I'm more imaginative, I still masturbate at the thought of what a little tramp she was at the time. She settled down with me and became very boring, although the relationship lasted 4 years.

Basically, my desire for a woman increases when I know she's 'hot;' that she desires other men and is in turn an object of lust for other men. I think that modern fetishes / obsessions being what they are, and the sophisticated tastes of people enjoying such desires (I may be wrong, but I think interest in cuckolding probably has a high number of more middle class devotees) these interests tend to be a spin off from young women becoming sexually active and mature before young men...

I might be miles off, of course. I'm an engineer, not a psychologist!

 

[Twalter22]

I think for those of us who were cheated on in some small way when in our formative years it represents that emotional longing and excitement that you only experience on the verge of sexual maturity.

If that doesn't make sense: I had a cutie girlfriend when I was about 14 and had my hands all over her any chance I could get, but it never got any further. When I came back from summer holidays with my parents, I found out sh'e kissed one of my friends. Probably very innocent but I was disgusted with her and broke it off.

That mess of emotions has kind of twisted all sorts of ways in the years since then... I met my first serious girlfriend while still a virgin; she had been sexually active with a number of partners already, despite being a year younger than me (I was 16). I tried not to think about it at the time, but subconsciously it must have made her more appealing to me; now I'm more imaginative, I still masturbate at the thought of what a little tramp she was at the time. She settled down with me and became very boring, although the relationship lasted 4 years.

Basically, my desire for a woman increases when I know she's 'hot;' that she desires other men and is in turn an object of lust for other men. I think that modern fetishes / obsessions being what they are, and the sophisticated tastes of people enjoying such desires (I may be wrong, but I think interest in cuckolding probably has a high number of more middle class devotees) these interests tend to be a spin off from young women becoming sexually active and mature before young men...

I might be miles off, of course. I'm an engineer, not a psychologist!

You might be an engineer but you pretty much described my life.
My first crush would make out with me for hours in the basement or at make out parties. But never went farther than that then I went on a vacation with my parents and came back a week later and found out she not only was making out with my friend but letting him feel her up.
In high school my " steady" during my junior and senior years would breakup with me for a few weeks date someone then come back telling me she was sorry.
When I was 21 my fiancée was seeing a graduate of a military academy the last 9 months we were engaged and when I found out she wasn't even apologetic she just told me it's best that we split cause even though she didn't love him she did love fucking him.
My first wife cheated on me it turns out for the last four years of our marriage. My current wife is dating now. I just seem to always fall god the wrong person. I get devastated but I am never the one who leaves.

 

[kucked2x]

Bump

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[StrongMaster7]

I'm not into it either per se. I find it racist and just not my thing.

However, I do seek out "real" "amateur" cuck videos because the women in them seem to be genuinely excited and that is very rare in porn.

 

[bps]

I can see your perspective but you are coming from a place of betrayal and hurt.

Your wife presumably committed to monogamy then went back on that promise in a callous and insensitive way. However, the selfishness of her actions is only connected to monogamy because that was the "agreement" against which her actions are measured. The root issue is her willingness to fuck you over for her own pleasure.

Now imagine a caring, giving, open and honest woman who happens to have sex with other men. Imagine she includes you in various ways and facilitates the best sex you have ever had. Imagine knowing she would never lie or deceive you and is deeply aware of your desires and insecurities. A woman who owns her own sexuality, that simply will not be tamed. A woman who knows you have given her a great gift and endeavours to treat you with respect.

Being promiscuous and being a selfish bitch are two different things that need not be linked.

this is a very provocative post. smart and sexy.