D/S vs Mormonism

[A Desert Rose]

i happened across this topic quite by accident but thought I would respond. Alot of you have some very interesting misconceptions about the LDS religion. First, let it be known that any man that hits a woman in the LDS church is immediately stripped of any church calling and is almost always grounds for excommunication. There aren't any coverups etc. It is dealt with very strongly and quickly. All you have to do is read the church policies and listen to what church authorities say about women and their special place on earth. Please do some careful research from the actual church itself about what it believes and what it doesn't believe.

You know this to be true... there are sects or LDS breakoffs. And they have practiced many of the things that have been stated here. i.e. marriage with underage females, etc.

They are also NOT recognized by the church hierarchy as LDS and have been disavowed by them, as well as excommunicated by the church elders. I think this is where the real confusion is coming from.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Modernman,

On an objective level, I find Mormonism very spiritual and beautiful. I am sure that the majority of the people who associate themselves with the church are very nice people and don't use abuse as a method of control. I hope the man I am involved with is one within the majority that I speak of, however, I do not know that for a fact as of yet. He appears to be very sweet, but sometimes what seems to be the case isn't at all. Because of my disabilities, I need to be very careful who I get involved with (not that everyone else doesn't), and I am just very insecure at the moment. I appologize for any misconceptions I may have made about the religion. I have done some reading, but I will continue to read more.

 

[Vixandra]

You mean it's not that any public holiday is an excuse for an orgy?

Not public holiday- Sabbats, Essabbats, Solstices, Equinoxes, and other holy days.
That's about one to two a month, LOL.
And, because DH's Catholic, a few of those too, just to be fair you know.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I was born a catholic, but we never practiced it, so I've kind of denounced catholicism and labeled myself as spiritual. With that said, I will convert to almost any religion my husband may want me to convert to as long as it's Christian I guess. Chris doesn't seem to care which religion I am at the moment. I know that might change if we marry, which I hope will happen, but I don't know if it ever will.

Another thing that gets me is that Chris wanted me to start telling him I loved him the first time we spoke on the phone. I have no problem with that because even though I don't think I am in love with him at this point, I do feel extremely emotionally attached to him. I know that he does care for me, which is acceptable to me at this point. I'm wondering if the "I love you thing" is a d/s issue or a Mormon issue or neither? Who knows, maybe he's already made up his mind that I'm the one he's going to marry! Yeah right! In your dreams SubmissiveDove, lol.

No offence meant, but the more I read in the various threads you have, the more I figure if this is for real, you are going to have a less than happy life if you pursue this relationship and the path you are paving. You ask if the demand to you to say 'I love you' from the first call is Mormon or D/s related?!! News flash....it is the sign of someone very insecure at the least and likely an abuser, and in my experience has never been an issue with either of the other life choices. Put it another way...would you be happy if you met someone (or in this case not met, just talked on a phone), and you told them you wanted them to say they loved you and they did? Would you feel secure, valued when you heard them repeat what you told them to say, would you feel as if they really did love you when the reality is they don't even know you? Don't you think underneath it all you would not believe a word they ever said from that day forward, not to mention worthless as a person yourself feeling you had to demand the words from a virtual stranger, not waiting for someone to say them out of genuine emotion?

If you can say you love someone even though you admit you don't, and you say you can convert to any religion they tell you to as long as it is Christian based in some form, and if you are telling it as it is, you are well and truly headed for abuse wherever you can find it. Religion is worthless, as is love, if it is only words spoken to please someone else...similarly is submission if acted out just to make it appear so. I am not trying to attack or criticise you, but I think it is time you sort out who you are instead of looking for someone else to make you into a cardboard cut out doll. Sooner or later those assumed personalities usually break and crumble, and unfortunately if it is not until children are in the picture (as it often is) you then screw their lives up as well. Find out who you are first so you can lead a happy and fulfilled life in whatever form you as a person want it, not underestimatiung your worth as an individual by falsely appeasing another and feeding their insecurities, while possibly endangering yourself.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

with all due respect, you are very misinformed about the Mormon religion. You are confusing the LDS church with groups that have no affiliation with the Mormon religion whatsoever. 45 year olds don't marry 13 year olds in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. plain and simple. If anyone tells you otherwise, they are a liar

Possibly they don't in the place you are in, but there was documented proof from various sources, including some of the men involved who could see nothing wrong with it, and yes, they identified as Mormons, and lived within Mormon communities which had strict ways of keeping those within their community where they were. They also held strongly with the custom of polygamy.

Catalina

 

[Pure]

Another thing that gets me is that Chris wanted me to start telling him I loved him the first time we spoke on the phone. I have no problem with that because even though I don't think I am in love with him at this point, I do feel extremely emotionally attached to him. I know that he does care for me, which is acceptable to me at this point. I'm wondering if the "I love you thing" is a d/s issue or a Mormon issue or neither?

Neither.

It's a wacko thing. The fellow has a screw loose.

With all due respect.

J.

 

[fawnie]

No offence meant, but the more I read in the various threads you have, the more I figure if this is for real, you are going to have a less than happy life if you pursue this relationship and the path you are paving. You ask if the demand to you to say 'I love you' from the first call is Mormon or D/s related?!! News flash....it is the sign of someone very insecure at the least and likely an abuser, and in my experience has never been an issue with either of the other life choices. Put it another way...would you be happy if you met someone (or in this case not met, just talked on a phone), and you told them you wanted them to say they loved you and they did? Would you feel secure, valued when you heard them repeat what you told them to say, would you feel as if they really did love you when the reality is they don't even know you? Don't you think underneath it all you would not believe a word they ever said from that day forward, not to mention worthless as a person yourself feeling you had to demand the words from a virtual stranger, not waiting for someone to say them out of genuine emotion?

If you can say you love someone even though you admit you don't, and you say you can convert to any religion they tell you to as long as it is Christian based in some form, and if you are telling it as it is, you are well and truly headed for abuse wherever you can find it. Religion is worthless, as is love, if it is only words spoken to please someone else...similarly is submission if acted out just to make it appear so. I am not trying to attack or criticise you, but I think it is time you sort out who you are instead of looking for someone else to make you into a cardboard cut out doll. Sooner or later those assumed personalities usually break and crumble, and unfortunately if it is not until children are in the picture (as it often is) you then screw their lives up as well. Find out who you are first so you can lead a happy and fulfilled life in whatever form you as a person want it, not underestimatiung your worth as an individual by falsely appeasing another and feeding their insecurities, while possibly endangering yourself.

Catalina

very nicely put! you saved me having to say these things to her!
you hear me dove???
listen to catalina..and she's not alone in her perception.
you're heading toward trouble if you persue this fella!
fawnie

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Catalina, Fawnie, I know you're rIght somewhere deep down. I'm just hoping there is a small chance he is alright. I need something to believe in so badly. I know that must sound so pathetic, and perhaps it is, but I've been really lost for years, and I have no idea where to start finding myself. If I could just find someone to make happy and vice versa, my every-day life would be so much better. As it is, I spend everyday cooped up in my room with nothing to do and nowhere to go. This is really starting to sound pathetic now.

Thank you for your advice

 

[FungiUg]

Originally posted by Catalina
You ask if the demand to you to say 'I love you' from the first call is Mormon or D/s related?!! News flash....it is the sign of someone very insecure at the least and likely an abuser, and in my experience has never been an issue with either of the other life choices.

Er, it can also be the sign of someone intense and inexperienced. (In other words, it sounds like something I would have done in my teens.) Of course, that's also not a good thing, but on the other hand, I don't see it as a conclusive sign that the guy is an abuser-in-waiting.

Like all things, trust your instincts. If warning bells are ringing (wasn't that a Christmas Carol?) then pay attention!

 

[Esclava]

SubmissiveDove,

I hear your pain and whether you believe me or not, I feel it as well.

It is a STRONG human desire to be as needed and loved as we want to need and love another. That is a fact of life. But I have walked a few steps in the place you are going and offer this piece of advice from personal experience.

Find a way, no - MAKE a way - to see the love inside yourself. If you have to start from scratch with pen and paper, list those things that you love about yourself. If you find yourself staring at a blank sheet of paper with no ideas of what to write coming, think of the times in your life when you were happiest - and write those down. Chances are you have just lost touch with your "inner child" and need to reach in to comfort her.

Be brave! Think back for even the smallest pleasures you can find and write them ALL down. Then look for a pattern; possibly a path to lead you back to happiness in yourself - with yourself. I daresay that the strength you unlock will enable you to answer those questions which are plagueing you plus open your world up so you can see all the beauty surrounding you. When that happens, the "need" you so desperately crave will be satisfied.

Be well,

Esclava

 

[Hisownprecious]

Possibly they don't in the place you are in, but there was documented proof from various sources, including some of the men involved who could see nothing wrong with it, and yes, they identified as Mormons, and lived within Mormon communities which had strict ways of keeping those within their community where they were. They also held strongly with the custom of polygamy.

Catalina

Catalina, i always appreciate your views and i have learned much from you. Please, take no offense at this. There are Fundamentalist off shoots of the LDS church who still practice this kind of "faith". In those off shoot sects, there are many instances of incest, polygamy and, imho, abuse. The LDS proper has publically stated their positions about these issues. i found this on polygamy, this on the role of a wife and this on spousal and child abuse. These are the officially stated doctrines of the Mormon church, from their own site.

There are and probably always will be fundamentalist off shoots of any religion you can think of. i, personally, was involved in one for several years. It bothers me still to see the main branch of the church i was in being seen as the sect.

Again, if i offend, i apologize...

respectfully...
joanna

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

I'm so happy!

I called Chris today, and he was very happy to hear from me! His computers are still down, and he doesn't have access to the computers this term because he doesn't have any computer courses. I explained all my worrying and he eased my mind. He told me that the profile I saw had been there for a few years and occasionally he checks it to delete any responses he gets from it. Anyway, he told me to call him tomorrow morning because he's going out with his buddies tonight to play darts. I'm so happy I could cry! Actually, I did cry...all night...thinking this was the end.