Desultory and Impulsive

[y=mx+b]

And as I lay in bed trying to sleep
I am reminded of this reoccurring dream of a river that isn't supposed to be where it is.

Like all dreams, it's not an easily explained dream.

It's always shifting
And there's more than one river in the dream

But there's always this one that cuts through a flat field.
There are no rapids to it. But the water is swift and the surface is choppy and it's wide. There's a bend to it. And the fucking thing is scary.


I wish I had some Ambien

Between my self falling ill with what feels to becoming one of those itchy throat, dry-cough colds, and state of my thoughts--I'm really not foreseeing a restful night of sleep.

We have some Nyquil, but that shit gives me the spastic brain-zap herky-jerks.

 

[y=mx+b]

Sad to say but that reminds me of my last sexual experience. I wish I could have said it but I was too afraid it would scare him off.

Yeah.
The shit we don't know but convince ourselves that we do.

 

[AlliaPotestas]

all I can think is...

Gorgeous pic - men don’t do enough bath shots on here, I can almost feel the warm water just looking at it.

Enjoy your day off, x

 

[raindancer]

all I can think is...

Beautiful composition. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[y=mx+b]

Gorgeous pic - men don’t do enough bath shots on here, I can almost feel the warm water just looking at it.

Enjoy your day off, x

Glad I took it yesterday because now the very thought of getting wet hurts

Beautiful composition. I hope you feel better soon.

Thank you. I took two naps today that I didn't intend to become naps and slept pretty hard both times.



Intermission

 

[y=mx+b]

Second thoughts

 

[Moochienanu]

Second thoughts

I know about these thoughts.

 

[y=mx+b]

I wasn't done with my coffee
But my coffee was done with me

Each time that I brought the cup to my lips
The once robust warm flavor
Had cooled all the more
Falling to just above
Room temperature

I pulled a slug of the dark water into my mouth
An experience
That had once comforted me
Now turned
Bitter.
Cold.

I fought to swallow

And dumped the rest
Of what was left
Down the drain.

 

[y=mx+b]

I love you.

 

[y=mx+b]

I asked you a question

https://cdn02.bdsmlr.com/uploads/photos/2019/01/48425/bdsmlr-48425-2uG6if8K6r.gif

 

[y=mx+b]

I want to feel my cock inside your vagina
I want to be on top of you
Face to face
So that I can look into your eyes
And speak words I do not yet know
Against your lips

I want to feel our lip barely touch
As I thrust up into you
I want to bring your hands up above your head
Our fingers interlaced

I want to feel every part of you.

 

[Wife of Bath]

Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.
Mary Oliver

 

[y=mx+b]

Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.
Mary Oliver

That someone must have loved her very much
To have given her all that he could give.

 

[y=mx+b]

I look out the window
At a dry wind
Blowing the freshly fallen snow
Kicking it up
Like a wraith
Hidden between the dead stalks of field grass

My lungs are heavy
With a losing disease
Trying to still win


More snow ghosts
Buoyed up by an arctic blast

Forcing them
To cross
Once again
Yet another dreary path

Towards drifts
Where some
Will never rise again.

 

[AlliaPotestas]

I look out the window
At a dry wind
Blowing the freshly fallen snow
Kicking it up
Like a wraith
Hidden between the dead stalks of field grass

My lungs are heavy
With a losing disease
Trying to still win


More snow ghosts
Buoyed up by an arctic blast

Forcing them
To cross
Once again
Yet another dreary path

Towards drifts
Where some
Will never rise again.

 

[Moochienanu]

I look out the window
At a dry wind
Blowing the freshly fallen snow
Kicking it up
Like a wraith
Hidden between the dead stalks of field grass

My lungs are heavy
With a losing disease
Trying to still win


More snow ghosts
Buoyed up by an arctic blast

Forcing them
To cross
Once again
Yet another dreary path

Towards drifts
Where some
Will never rise again.

The imagery you pack into this is enviable.

 

[Moochienanu]

I wasn't done with my coffee
But my coffee was done with me

Each time that I brought the cup to my lips
The once robust warm flavor
Had cooled all the more
Falling to just above
Room temperature

I pulled a slug of the dark water into my mouth
An experience
That had once comforted me
Now turned
Bitter.
Cold.

I fought to swallow

And dumped the rest
Of what was left
Down the drain.

This piece haunts me. Well done.

 

[y=mx+b]

I think I thought I saw her
But if I did
It was but a glimps
Of a shadow
Through the prism of my heart

And I wanted more
More in such a kind of way
That made me mad with passion

A cock fucking cunt kind of passion
Brutal savage
Pornographic

And around each corner
Of this reflective surface
She darts like a rabbit
And I chase
Smashing against walls
Cracking plaster and glass
Collapsing each world
This faulty mind of mine creates

Until my hand reaches her
And grabs hold of her by the back of the neck

My mouth wants to rip her open
The strength of my hands want her throat to collapse
The weight of my body
Wants to feel her underneath it
And my eyes want to see the nightmare
That I have become
Reflected back
Through the fear in her eyes.

 

[y=mx+b]

Each man was a daddy to her
Some were stern
Some were teachers
Still others were professors
--the difference between the two I do not know.

One was a poet
That would read to her at night
Another was an unpredictable drunk that beat her

And when she showed up to my doorstep
I scanned her
And saw them all
Rasping at and raping away the woman that she was

 

[Arianthe]

I think I thought I saw her
But if I did
It was but a glimps
Of a shadow
Through the prism of my heart

And I wanted more
More in such a kind of way
That made me mad with passion

A cock fucking cunt kind of passion
Brutal savage
Pornographic

And around each corner
Of this reflective surface
She darts like a rabbit
And I chase
Smashing against walls
Cracking plaster and glass
Collapsing each world
This faulty mind of mine creates

Until my hand reaches her
And grabs hold of her by the back of the neck

My mouth wants to rip her open
The strength of my hands want her throat to collapse
The weight of my body
Wants to feel her underneath it
And my eyes want to see the nightmare
That I have become
Reflected back
Through the fear in her eyes.

I want someone to want me like that, but at the same time, I know it's really fucked up and scary.

 

[y=mx+b]

There is nothing to be afraid of

A body at rest
Stays at rest

 

[Moochienanu]

A body at rest
Stays at rest

Unless acted upon by an outside force.

 

[y=mx+b]

I found the picture of her that I was looking for.

It is an over-the-shoulder selfie

She is naked
Lay face down on the bed

And I can see the full length of her body
The rounded curve of her ass

Her hair and her lips...
She's not smiling
She is as is
Without pretense
And in such a way
That drives my want for her

...that would drive the want of any man for her.


I cannot tell you if I was the only recipient of the picture.

But even if I wasn't
The nature of her in it
Makes me feel as though I am

...as though I were something important to her.

 

[y=mx+b]

Because this song...

...will always solicit a certain feeling my heart cannot place and one my ear will always find beautiful.

The words:

Fool enough to almost be it
Cool enough to not quite see it
Doomed

Pick your pockets full of sorrow
Run away with me tomorrow
June

Try, ease the pain
Somehow we'll feel the same
Well, no one knows
Where our secrets go

I send a heart to all my dearies
When your life is so, so dreary
Dream

I'm rumored to the straight and narrow
While the harlots of my perils
Scream

And I fail
But when I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will

Mother weep the years I'm missing
All our time can't be given
Back

Shut my mouth and strike the demons
Cursed you and your reasons
Out of hand and out of season
Out of love and out of feeling
So bad

When I can, I will
Words defy the plan
When I can, I will

Fool enough to almost be it
Cool enough to not quite see it
Old enough to always feel this
Always old, I'll always feel this

No more promise no more sorrow
No longer will I follow
Can anybody hear me
I just want to be me
When I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will.


The song

 

[y=mx+b]

I am so goddamn fucking horny right now.

And it's not like a kind of horniness that's easily quelled by simple masturbation. This is pre-spring on the foothills of cabin fever horniness.

Raw
Bareback
Breedfucking type of need

The thought of masturbation is a joke to it. Not worth the time.

I need to fuck



Right fucking now