Does Being In Love Make Sex Better?

[klippert]

I personally believe it does

 

[Islander55]

I am older and have been married for 39 years. We have a good relationship and have a lot of fun over the years. However, I do find that I enjoy some variety. I am never going to go to a bar and pick up a guy just for sex. I do like to get to know people and I like that I can let that lead to intimacy if I desire. I do want a connection with a lover but it does not have to be deep. Some shared interest such as hiking works well for me. I think that some of my most intense orgasms have been with a casual friend. My answer would probably be different if I were back in my 20's. Certainly the sex with a new love can be very powerful.

 

[naughtymind]

Sex with my Husband is fantastic, and I love him madly. But sex with him was fantastic from the start when we had just met. We are physically well suited for each other. Having said that, I do believe the emotional component is a factor in the sex still being fantastic all these years later. We work well together on many levels. But being in love with him is not in and of itself what makes the sex so great. It's an important part, but not the only part.

Well put. I think that there's a chemistry that is sometimes there, and sometimes not. I guess I was lucky to have experienced the former with my first GF, and so I was never really inclined to stick around in any subsequent relationships that didn't have that kind of chemistry. I felt love for all of the women I had relationships with, and still do; but I can't really say that I was "in love" with all of them. I feel very lucky to have found a woman who I do have that kind of chemistry with, and the sex is wonderful. In our case, it was always good...but it's gotten a lot better over the years as our bond has deepened. I keep waiting for the sex to get a little less exciting, but so far that just hasn't happened.

 

[EmpressV]

For me, yes. Casual sex with no love is like pancakes with no syrup. They'll fill you up, but it's not a very sweet or satisfying experience.
Your mileage may vary, of course.

 

[Mystories189]

I don't know. Strong emotions definitely make for better sex. The men I love make it better then just a hook up, but I've had some great sex with guys I can't stand. One of my husband's friends is rude, mean, womanizing, and loud. I asked my husband not to bring him around. He blackmailed my into have sex with him and it was intense. I was so angry with myself but I couldn't stop screaming and spamming. He was even mocking me. I just told him not to stop.

 

[gtnlynn]

Since I've only had sex with the one I love, I asked my wife. She said it is definitely better when love is involved. (Then she had to add, "But that older Russian guy was really good.")

 

[HampshireBoy]

In my experience it is far better if there are feelings involved, I've only had a few experiences with someone that I haven't had some feelings for and they were satisfying without being wonderful.

As we have fallen in, and remained in, love the sex has just got better and better. I think that it also helps that as you get to know someone better you trust them more so can let yourself go and explore more.

 

[peruchica]

For me, it's hard to compare sex that's just sex to sex with my husband who I am deeply in love with. I can have amazing raw uninhibited sex with my husband just like I can with any other man. However, there is no way that I could actually make love with any other man that is not my husband. I think the experiences are very very different. There are times when my husband and I could be in one of those raw sex sessions but at any moment could turn into more of a passionate love making session. There's just this undeniable bond and chemistry that we have that is unmatched. In my case, it just so happens that the best sex I've ever had has been with my husband, but the fact that I am in love with him is more of a coincidence than a cause or reason.

 

[BiTodd]

Wow. Good topic. I believe there are many variables to good sex as far as casual sex goes I believe a physical attraction combined with an emotional connection can make sparks fly. Now combine that with a little familiarity through repeated get togethers and a sense of safety allows each person to open up and become more intimate or let's say naughtier.

 

[HampshireBoy]

I've had great sex with someone that I wasn't in love with, and she didn't love me, just really good friends, who completely trusted each other and really compatible.

However sex with my wife, where we are both totally in love with each other, was completely different in that there was a deeper feeling involved - loving in the true sense of the word, in body and mind. I say "was" because we are still totally in love but she has lost her sex drive which means love making is very infrequent (months go by without) and, when it does happen, I'm aware that she is only doing it because she knows I want it and she loves me - she would be quite happy without.

 

[policywank]

In my opinion sex with the one you love is definitely better than sex with a stranger

I think that is true more often than not, but the binary choice is artificial. There are a lot of options between the one you love and a complete stranger. Most of the men I have sex with are regular lovers with whom I have an emotional and intimate connection. But they are neither my one true love nor complete strangers.

No criticism intended. I just think some people seek to validate monogamy as the right choice by portraying the only viable option as random meaningless sex with strangers. That is a false premise.