Dom/Sub <==> Sense of Humor?

[Leopald]

One of the biggest things I've found is that real life or online D/s relationships are not as complex as people seem to think. In any relationship, regardless of gender, orientation, or exchange, we are human beings, and as such we have needs that extend beyond the literal or virtual ring, collar, or whatever else.

There is no definitive "right" way to approach or maintain a D/s dynamic, though there are plenty of wrong ways. I personally can't imagine not being able to have fun with my sub on a regular basis, and I've never had a problem being taken seriously by those that I demonstrate that nature to. That's not to say there definitely aren't Dominants that never demonstrate humor to their sub, and are perfectly happy in it. There very well could be, I don't know.

If you find who and what makes you happy, and you do the same for them, then its right. That's the only way to look at it.

 

[W8ting4MyRuca]

Leopald, very nicely stated.

So, this all means that I can continue my journey to figure out what type of dom I am.

Of course, I would still like to hear what others think about this whole issue ... anyone have any good stories about funny D/s moments?

Or ... has anyone left a D/s relationship because your master/slave was too serious all the time?

 

[monique_minx]

Firstly, I'm a very not-so-serious type of person AKA an Aussie.

We joke all the time, even about bad stuff in my house because it's our coping mechanism so I can't be in a relationship or friendship with someone constantly serious.

Personally, my RL play sessions with Leo via distance are anything but completely serious, I spend most of my time being a brat and sticking out my tongue or flipping him off and he'll laugh in a surprised kind of a way and tell me something like, "That's really not helping your case you know?"

He can be entirely funny and scare the shit out of me at the same time, it's a talent, I swear!

And then there's my RL Dominant play partner. The last time he and I and his subbie got together, I was nervously hiding behind my hair and needed to be put at ease a lot because I kept forgetting simple little things and kept having to move back onto all fours to be punished for them.

And he'd laugh because after awhile even I thought it was ridiculous and funny, I started laughing too. He'd say you forgot this and I'd want to laugh and cry and collapse.

But yeah, you can definitely be humorous and still be dominant, Leo laughs all the time (okay so they're mostly evil chuckles that make me cringe but he still laughs!).

Even when we're joking, even while I'm bratting out, the balance of power remains with him and he can tip it back with a quick word whenever he likes. It's more fun when it's funny but I know when he's serious even if he doesn't seem to be and I know when he's joking even when he sounds serious. Sometimes I fuck it up and get it wrong but he understands that too, it's a little harder in text...his voice however is unmistakable to me and I can't get that wrong lol!

 

[Mephistophelily]

Being me, I could never be comfortable with someone with no sense of humor.
Honestly, the few times I've been in a D/s relationship (the term used loosely and something we shared online only), it was because the other party had a humor about him. Things were never 100% strict unless I had done something completely against his rules or instructions. Being without his joking side was a horrible punishment in itself to me. Blunt words, angry words, no humor at all... I knew I had done something very very wrong and that made his decided punishments for disobeying that much worse.
I liked to make him happy, in numerous senses of the word.
But like was said before, different people have their relationships in different ways. What I did might not be at all what some people see as a "Proper" interaction, but it made us both happy and fit what we wanted.

 

[Rayne_Clowd]

Just because someone is dominate or submissive does not mean they loose their personality...it is simply a part of it.

I know a few Dom's who have quite a crack up personality and really can make me laugh so hard my sides hurt. That does not mean when the laughing stops I respect them any less.

The same thing applies to submissives. Being one or the other or even both if you are a switch does not mean you do not have your individuality and quirks to your personality just like everyone else.

 

[W8ting4MyRuca]

Being me, I could never be comfortable with someone with no sense of humor.
Honestly, the few times I've been in a D/s relationship (the term used loosely and something we shared online only), it was because the other party had a humor about him. Things were never 100% strict unless I had done something completely against his rules or instructions. Being without his joking side was a horrible punishment in itself to me. Blunt words, angry words, no humor at all... I knew I had done something very very wrong and that made his decided punishments for disobeying that much worse.
I liked to make him happy, in numerous senses of the word.
But like was said before, different people have their relationships in different ways. What I did might not be at all what some people see as a "Proper" interaction, but it made us both happy and fit what we wanted.

Nor could I ... in RL and for the few on-line relationships I've had have ... all had a lot of humor. If I'm not laughing at least once every day ... I'm probably in the wrong place and with the wrong people.

 

[W8ting4MyRuca]

Just because someone is dominate or submissive does not mean they loose their personality...it is simply a part of it.

I know a few Dom's who have quite a crack up personality and really can make me laugh so hard my sides hurt. That does not mean when the laughing stops I respect them any less.

The same thing applies to submissives. Being one or the other or even both if you are a switch does not mean you do not have your individuality and quirks to your personality just like everyone else.

So true Rayne ... after all those quirks are what makes us ... us. I'm so thankful for women who have a lot of humor quirk in them.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

My 2 cents: I play, a LOT. Humor, laughter, teasing? They all have a place in my relationships whether it is Daddi/baby girl, Ma'am/boi, or Top/bottom. I can't live without that connection, nor would I want to.

MOST of My experience is in the RW, I very rarely allow myself to play with anyone on line that I can not KNOW in reality. It makes for a very difficult choice of play partners and is limiting in it's way, but it is how I prefer to live my life. All of that being said, some of my favorite ladies to play with on Lit all enjoy my brand of playful sadism (Yes, Minx??) and we get along...just fine.

Laughter doesn't make one less Dom/me, it just makes them more human.

 

[monique_minx]

My 2 cents: I play, a LOT. Humor, laughter, teasing? They all have a place in my relationships whether it is Daddi/baby girl, Ma'am/boi, or Top/bottom. I can't live without that connection, nor would I want to.

MOST of My experience is in the RW, I very rarely allow myself to play with anyone on line that I can not KNOW in reality. It makes for a very difficult choice of play partners and is limiting in it's way, but it is how I prefer to live my life. All of that being said, some of my favorite ladies to play with on Lit all enjoy my brand of playful sadism (Yes, Minx??) and we get along...just fine.

Laughter doesn't make one less Dom/me, it just makes them more human.

Yes La-Luna, enjoy it muchly!....Miss, want, need, crave it muchly...

Hint, hint!!