Don't Ask: Failing the Kids Glove rule

[KichigaiFufu]

Oh! It DOES work with the other button! *BLUSH*

How embarassing!

Moshiwakegozimasen!

VERY, very, sorry.

We'll sepuku now . . . VBGS.

Lucky & pixie

.

*Still QUITE RED*


P.s. Well anyway we were RIGHT about the humility part! Computers have such an effective way of doing that. They're ALMOST more fun than our handcuffs. Hee. hee. *Evil grins*

 

[Guest]

Is there a Problem here? No? Well, let's see if I can MAKE one.

O.K., Guys, so you screwed up. BIG deal. The main thing is to mind your "pees" & "queues" from now on.

I.e., WATCH OUT who you piss off, or you'll be pissed on a LOT more than even the thirstiest Golden Shower enthusiast can swallow.

Have "FUN" as long as you don't stray oughta line behind the powers that be, like, for an excellent example, ME. Do as I say, and you'll have a nice stay.

"A word for the wise," they say is fine. That's why it took me ninty nine.

 

[Jesus_CHRIST]

_ Uh, about those times when it's NOT more BLESSED to give than receive. What? SHIT!

First a quick BLESSING on our new Literotican "virgins:" May they TRULY be safely enrolled & find here the "FUN, wisdom and humility" they've so persistently sought. All OUR best to this crazy pair, Lucky & Pixie.

And NOW. . .

Your Heavenly MISTRESS will briefly, yet NOT out of context . . .

Our darling (and HIGHLY graced with TALENTS never hidden under a bustle or even a pair of panties for which she should get down on her daintily dimpled knees with a little prayer of open mouthed gratitude to receive another golden shower of our devine blessings) daughter quite rightly yet far too lightly wrote:

I ask for feedback on my work, not your judgement about my character.

None-the-less, Ai, in her recent and widely resented Literotican manifestation, or as some might prefer to put it, infestation, The See CUNT CUMMING of Our HOLEY Trinidy, Jesus_CHRIST , be_Shat from the Virgin Mama-san after She'd been Buggered by Marilyn_Manson's Damned Dildo, has also received the same SHIT STORM of vindicative malice,showering BOGUS one votes on works of obviously high literary merit, which Our BELOVED Daughter refers to so forgivingly as "your judgement about my character" when in fact it has nothing to do with judgment. It's plain and simple ENVY!

[Piss : Interestingly enough, the welcome wagon has really rolled out to greet these virgins. Perhaps there's a fearsome rumor that they're afflicted with anthrax?

 

[KichigaiFufu]

WS--

Move over. I'm joining your camp. I have had one too many request for feedback when really the author wanted me to praise the work to the high heavens.

Excuse the hell out of me. If folks want fan mail, we have thousands of readers reading this site daily. They read your story. Stroke your ego with a "5" and ocassionally write and tell you how great the story is(often don't tell you why though).


I take my time to read the story/poem. Take my time to write something that is honest and constructive, and I get cussed out because,"Obviously, you just don't like my writing."

Why would I take the time to reply if I weren't interested in a writer's efforts?

I don't blow sunshine up folks butts, but I ain't interested in shooting anyone down either. So if you don't care for my brand of feedback, don't ask.

Cheerleaders root even when the team is losing. The coach tells the team to get their ass in gear. I don't even use expletives. That's as good as it's going to get.

Peace,

daughter

Well, is there such a thing as TOO MUCH PRAISE? Here's a SEX-ample that springs to hand:

Brazen Brass Monkey,

I LOVED your WET dream fantasy with just a naughty hint of NASTY anal for myriad reasons. I hope I won't bore you by SEX-plaining in down ahd dirty de-TAIL? Just in case you're too busy to read a l-o-n-g and feverishly fervent LOVE letter, I'll tell you at the onset that I gave you a BIG FIVE vote for the HONESTY and passionate self EXHIBITIONISM in "Training" which gave me SEX-dreamily valuable insights into masculine sexuality that my e-MALE lovers often feel too shy to open up for me. SIGH! Since that's so very useful to me in crafting my own horny little tales of horny little tails, I gotta say, "Thanks. I owe you one, Brass Monkey, and I only wish I can be there to help you SPANK your cute little monkey's head HARD with my lips and labia, teasing him until he spits all over me!" WHEW!

Sorry, if I deviated from my serious task of literary criticism just a wee bit, horny - Uh, have you started strokin' your monkey, you bad boy? Shame on you! Choke that chicken 'fore Mamma gives you a LICKIN' That's right, now spread your legs, and let me get right up in between there, so I can take you all the way in & still look you straight in your glazed eyes as I give you the ole what for! - Cunt imagine whatever has gotten into me? Well, HOT DAMN, would you look at that! Your story got me all SOAKING WET! *BLUSH* My new lacy panties are completely ruined! Whatever can I do now? I'll just have to take them off, BUTT I'm sure that won't distract you will it, BRASS BALLS? Uh, Monkey. Sorry, horny, would you hold them for me, please? Since we're all just writers here, I'm sure you won't MISS-understand if I ask you, "Please, do you mind sniffing my panties to see how that new cherry-flavored douche works when I SQUIRT in a MAJOR ORGASM from reading a SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALADOCIOUSLY EROTIC story!" Pant, pant. OHHHhhh! MOAN! FUCK ME! I'm so HOT for your BIG HARD THROBBING MONKEY! I want to feel you all the way inside me RIGHT NOW! SLAM your hairy brass balls against my swollen pubes again and again as you punish my poor pussy for being such a bad little kitty and teasing your sweet monkey until he got all puffed up and red with anger. AHHHH!!!!

I hope I haven't given you a swollen head from praising your "Training" with no holes barred ? Anyway, perhaps we should move on to mentioning my favorite quote? That's easy! Your description of the girl with whom a "relationship had been purely electronic plutonic. " How I WISH you weren't ATTACHED 'cuz I LOVE having e-MALE LOVERS, especially ones who are SO FUCKING POTENT & can inseminate my immagination so that I get impregnated with YOUR BABY & when it's BORN everyone who knows either one of us says, "She looks JUST like YOU!" My own short story, "Just another Kinky Wet Dream, or ..." while it's nowhere NEAR as REALISTIC as your "Training" shares many roots: the dream and awakening, the beautiful beloved out of reach of your arms yet nestled closely in the intamacy of your mind, and most of all a certain ambiance of light humored wit, which attracted me to read your story in the first place when I saw, "Fetishes: Does Literotica count?" on your profile after we'd both posted in that silly thread about avatars. I don't have one either! I simply CUNT resist satirical jabs at such foolish vanities, nor can you, it seems. Hee, hee.

Lastly, I do have to point out a few very small pimples on the GREAT piece of ASS your story is:

1) ". . .evening and Jim. . ." "," missing between two sentences joined by a conjunction, repeted VIOLATIONS of this and other RULES of puncuation riddle your writing, for instance "...he finished his beer he made his way back to his compartment..." No period at the end, followed by no capital "H." *Reaching for my handcuffs* "How strong are those bed posts?" I wonder.

2) "ungulated" what's this mean? Hmm . . . It sounds nice, though.

3) "two seats astride a single large window" Interesting image. Saddle up your window and ride off into yon sunset?

4) "Shoving the schedule in his pocket, . . ." Use "into" PLEASE! This sounds like you're masturbating with the schedule standing up for your monkey. (Yes. I know the usual idiom here is "standing in," BUTT as your editress I'm allowed to MISS-spell "but" and make bad puns. Hee, hee.)

5) "This is one of the things he liked about traveling by train; . . " Use "likes" or perhaps you're trying to say that now he's stopped liking this part of the total train experience, or that he's sadly departed from our rail of rears? (OUCH! That's TERRIBLE! Gotta be my worst pun this week at the very least!)

SEX) "Then he imagined Sarah imploring, closer to his ear, 'Jim, you need to touch the rim of his anus.' " AH, HA! "his anus" Is HE an E.T. from Uranus, or was that just a slip of the finger? Later Sarah does it to you again with another MISS-spelling: "Jim, you need some pressure around the base of is throbbing cock." before leaving you with the "thin gold chain of an ankle bracelet" wrapped around your base manhood.

I feel uniquely BLESSED by a GODDESS of ROMANCE to have CUM accross your wonder-filled story Brass Monkey. There are SO many parrallels to my own writing and even my own life that I simply CUNT believe it. If ONLY you were seeking a lover instead of ATTACHED. SOB! Drat! Anyway, I just wanted to let you in on one little secret before vanishing forever into the moist mists of cyber space. I've been looking for a tender, sensitive, lover to teach me . . . *BLUSH* ... uh, . . . to play with my . . . ass.

Here's a recent letter to an older Literotican authoress with a taste for tail returned to me with her annotations to illustrate my . . . hang up. Her comments were RED before, BUTT here I'll simply (parenthesize) them, o.k.?

QUOTE:________________

(HI Kinky! My answers are below in red. I'm sure it'll show up on your email. I know how much you love color! lol I've seen that on the message boards.)

Wicked, Wicked EVE, whyever did I pull you out of Adam's chest? How much BETTER our world might have been if only I'd created YOU first, then pulled him out of your tight little arse!
(That would have been a real pain in the ass!)

Dispite distaste for the topic of your beautifully crafted tail, Uh, is that a Freudian slip I'm wearing? I DID order one from Victoria's Secret, BUTT . . .

Of COURSE, I'm also fascinated by it! Anyway, I gave you a BIG, and well-deserved FIVE for "I Like it Like That."
(Thanks for the five. I've gotten a lot responses on my piece of ass... story.)

Surely, you DO know that you'll go straight to HELL? Hee. hee.
( No, not straight. I have a few naughty stops to make along the way.)

Meanwhile, why not strap on a BIG DILDO & BUGGER SATAN right up her cute poop chute? Show her your stuff, eh?
(Now that you mention it... Satan probably is a woman. I think females can be far more wicked than males.)

Which reminds me of the lyric, "I want to fuck you like an ANIMAL! I want to feel you on the inside. ..." YEAH!
(Ah! Nine inch nails! I love that part. Especially, "I want to feel you from the inside out." I think that sounds so dirty.)

As one who in REAL life was anally raped during my grade school years,
(That is awful!)

which COULD explain a small part of my, uh, kinkiness, I do wanna ask you though . . . Can you help me lose my fear of having lovers play with my arse?
(No, probably not. But if you ever deal with your feeling, and separate them from your sex life, I think you'd enjoy anal sex or maybe some kind ass play. Then again....)

I'm a VERY passionate (I.M.H.O. at least) person, quick to boil with lust or anger as the situation requires, yet tender in both fore & after play, trying my very best to make my partners happy, BUTT touch me there, & I immediadely draw away. It seems out of my control though of course I'm quite aware of it as I have no trouble describing it to you, see?
(You're an intelligent girl, Kinky. And if you were raped as a child, then you know why you draw away now. Well actually, I think a lot of women have that reaction whether they were ever raped or not. I remember trying anal sex in my 20's. He got the head in, I screamed, pulled it out, and crawled away! lol But in my earlier 30's while I was pregnant, I got this Urge! I wanted to try again, and that time it was good! I learned it's all in your mind... and ass... lol I was older, more confident, more in touch with my sexuality. Now it's something I enjoy once in a while. I think I write about it more than I actually do it, though.)

I DO hope you can spare a few minutes to reply.
(For you, yes. You're fun!)

If you want to REALLY understand my feelings first, you should read my SHOCKING Halloween story ending in an anal rape. I wrote it as a gift for my lover.
(I remember starting to read that story. Really, really good! I didn't finish it, though. My kids were screaming or something, and I got distracted... loI I need to go back and finish it. I was very impressed with your writing. Speaking of writing, I read your "Jesus Poem." I have a story about a woman seducing a preacher during a tent revival in the South. And one about Eve getting down with Satan in Eden. I think I may submit them now. If I get any negative email about them, I can now say, "You think these are bad?! Read what "Jesus Christ" wrote!" lol Wicked)

END QUOTE:________________

Well, sorry to BUGGER you with all this, Brass Monkey. I'll try to cheer you up with a bit of poetry before I go, o.k.? I wrote this Lust night on my way out of Literotica when I noticed a question I simply HAD to answer at, Hmmm... What a coincidence, 3:00 a.m., just about the same time it is now!

Question: Who would you have write about Christmas? Subject: ___AH____Hem_! What a temptation_! Ai will NEVER get to sleep. you BAD little sheep_!

Remember how Kurt Vonnegut introduced SATAN, the female half of a divine dialectical duality, who played foil to her Tight-ASSed Authoritarian Pater Celestrial Family-ASS GOD STRAIGHT from the old testament? Well, now we're LOVING in this New Age of Aquire-ASS, & an ASS kicking see CUNT CUMMING is ORGASAMING throughout our Literotica La La Land! The Hour of the Beast has rolled over and heisted her Horny Heinie on High, & a New Sky Pilot will fly you to realms undreamed when Coleridge toking his opium pipe puffed smoky gossamer streams of Xana Du delight, building crystal palaces bright with lightness of a harem belly dancer's whirling dirvish veils spinning in time and warbling rhymes in tune to delicate drumming accompanied by melodic humming in a minor key, keening, crying, almost dying, swooping now low now high then sighing for that lovely derriere now rapt in air while forlornly singing softly, "In the silent shadows of the dawn, you'll search in vain for me, BUTT I'll be gone. The sweet soft pain of vision lost will haunt your mind, unwind your soul and send your spiritless body back to light the bowl of your dream pipe to suck in vain pale tastless draughts of faded memories." With this, she stops. Her last veil drops, and all is gone.

Whadaya think?

Lucky & Pixie

P.s. Brass Monkey NEVER wrote back even ONE SINGLE SOLITARY WORD to yours truly, BUTT WONDERFUL WRITER Wicked EVE, on whom we have the most WICKED CRUSH, always finds Kinky's LOVE letters amusing although she politey declines offers to visit and serve as her devoted kinky LOVE slave. SOB! SIGH! WEll, her profile does mention that she's handcuffed STRAIGHT to her own BELOVED MASTER. GOD bless her sinful little heart. By the way, the anal rape was REAL & really happened to one of us in somewhat the same fashion as the vaginal & oral rapes described by Mary Karr in her autobiographical novel, The Liar's Club.

 

[Whispersecret]

Let me say first that I haven't read your poetry. I'm not a big fan of poetry. Sometimes it's just too much damn work to understand what is being communicated. Also, especially here, the general public thinks it can write anything down without punctuation or sentence structure and call it poetry, as long as they were feeling something while they were writing it.

However I've both given and accepted criticism for writing prose.

I think that we're of differing opinions as to why it should be given. When I criticize, I aim to tell the writer what I see good and bad about their work. What I pinpoint is almost never restricted to grammar and other mechanics. Hell, when push comes to shove, the mechanics are the easy part because it's pretty objective. It's the SUBJECTIVE areas of writing that are more difficult to master. (Style, voice, pacing, plotting, characterization, etc.) It takes a lot of effort to analyze those more nebulous areas of a story and verbalize to the author what I think needs to be fixed.

However, that isn't to say that as critics we can't choose our words carefully. I admit that at least once I've been more direct than I should have been. Hopefully I've since learned to couch my negative comments in a more constructive way, a la Dixon. Even if I have, I don't criticize very often now. It's just too disappointing to spend hours, literally, working on my critique, to find out that the author was too pissed off to consider what I'd said.

When I look at people's work now, I prefer to work with people who can take what I have to say on the chin. For instance, I can tell Killer Muffin what I think straight out honestly. "Your premise is cliche. I've seen the sunscreen by the side of the pool turns into a hot sex encounter thing many times. Try a different setting." She'll either agree or disagree with my comments and not feel hurt because she is able to look at her writing as separate from herself.

But with a more sensitive person, it takes much more effort and time to say the same thing. "While your story was hot, perhaps you should consider a premise for your story that goes outside the boundaries of the norm. Go crazy and be creative. You can do it! How about choosing the museum of natural history or the foyer of the restaurant after hours as the setting for your story instead of the pool?"

Still, you make a good point. When dealing with a "bad" writer, it's good to just mention a couple of areas they could improve on. Believe me, I've seen some god-awful stuff and felt at a loss because there was just so much wrong with it that I didn't know where to start. I remember reading a story where the first paragraph was about 15 sentences long, but there were only 2 actual complete sentences. The rest of it was made up of incomplete phrases. It took me quite a while to think of a way to tell the person how they could improve the story, when what they really needed was a remedial course in English.

I understand that you take it personally. It's difficult not to. There is some blame to lay at both daughter's and your feet. Hopefully, you've both learned something. I just have more to say on the side of the critic, because I've been in the same exact situation as she has.

I've also been in your shoes though. I took a writing course in college and was looked down upon for wanting to write popular fiction instead of SERIOUS literature. That put me off writing for, oh, 15 years or so. So, I hear ya.

Just move on, both of you. Do what you have to do. Hopefully that's write, better.



WhisperSecret, yes I do take it personal when someone says my writing is adolescent. Same as I would if they said it was boring or I so bad that I just need to give it up.

Hell, I've reviewed writing that was . . . well . . . bad. I would have never taken it upon myself to tell the writer that. The writer created the work. It is a part of the writer. The writer would without a doubt take it *personally*, if I said it stunk. The same way I take it *personally* when someone says my writing is adolescent/immature. In my review of the writer, I simply picked out the grammatical errors and then made two suggestions for them to improve upon.

Why two? Well, according to Dixon, I've got about eight things I'm not doing right, including being guilty of adolescent writing. He said it in a decent way, so I'm not mad about it, but frankly, there are just too many suggestions for me to worry about. More good would have been accomplished by telling me *one or two* things I *most* need to improve.

Also, if someone else wants to do me a favor and review my writing, please pick something else other than The Smell of Sex. It is purposefully written in a comic book style. Hell, I even have some <Smack!> and <Slurp!> and <ZZZZzzt!> sounds in there, just like the old Batman comics. Last I checked, it was rated #4 and has been all the way to #1, so evidently, a few readers out there have a 'jones' for Pantygirl. I mean, come on . . . in chapter two I even come out and say that Laura looked like a twisted version of a costumed crusader with the panties covering her head! [/QUOTE]