Emotional Vs.Mental Submissiveness

[cellis]

For myself, submission begins in my head... I am lucky in that Himself and I care for each other... and that takes everything to a different level.

However, our new is not in love with us and we are not in love with her. But still she offers us her submission. It is no less meaningful because we are not in love. We do however care for her and our caring grows with time.


I am not certain that I can differentiate between mental and emotional submission. To me they seem on the surface to be the same thing. As a said before all my submission begins in my head.

Oh and Dream, you don't have to reply... this is just my opinion.

 

[MzChrista]

Re: MzC...

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you know what MzC , you just climbed alot higher on my respect list (and you were already in the top 10!) , You are Absolutely right!! I apologize to one and all for my words (not thought out).
Everyone and I Do mean EVERYONE has a right to post their opinions or views on this Forum. THats's the TRUTH . the Truth cannot be denied..each and every person on here has something beneficial to offer , maybe not always to me , in general , but perhaps to someone else?

I will strive to Learn not only about D/S BDSM but how to properly communicate with people better and thank-you MzC wwith much respect always, for showing me the error of my ways!!(waves a white flag)
much love to you MzC...

You cool Dream.
Just try to remember that what you say isnt just to the person you are saying it straight to, but it goes out to everybody else too.
There is a lot here to learn, dont get so wound up that you dont see it. The more you learn the better sub you can be to Artful. Remember sometimes you learn more from the ones you dont agree with than the ones you do.

 

[~Dream~]

Cellis...

Well said MzC!

Dream, I have nothing against you either, but I do find you extremely defensive when people offer their opinions and it differs from yours. I am sorry that you are not very open to hearing what others have to say and that is why I avoid most of your posts.

I am truly happy for you and Artful. I think he is a wonderful person and I have enjoyed getting to know him over the last few months.

Sometimes, Dream, when you ask for others opinions, perhaps you should take the time to read them and let what they have sink in rather than attempting to defend a position that no one is saying is wrong in the first place.

Truly I would like for you to be happy here. I know that this is difficult at times for you to understand, but I really don't think people dislike you, it is




just that you have a way of alienating people.


_______________________________________
Thank you so much for your post also Cellis,you are 100% right also .. it is not my intention at all to 'alienate 'people as I really do like and respect alot of people on here.. however I do see myself doing what you are saying and I would like to take this chance again to apologize to one and all.
there are no excuses for my actions , I have been very emotional lately ,as the "full impact" of being away from Artful "physically" has Hit me hard.
Still,I am not trying to make excuses for my actions , I WAS WRONG , PERIOD AND ALL I can try to do ,is do better and learn from my mistakes and be a better person.. I hope..
It's just so very hard after you have been skin-to skin-with the one you love , Not to crave more of it, ya know? it hurts alot sometimes and feels like more than I can really bear..
thank you for what you said about my Master, and you are right , He is wonderful.. He is My Heart... I do take your coments in the very real spirit of caring in which they were given , thank you so much again..

Dream

 

[~Dream~]

Cellis..

For myself, submission begins in my head... I am lucky in that Himself and I care for each other... and that takes everything to a different level.

However, our new is not in love with us and we are not in love with her. But still she offers us her submission. It is no less meaningful because we are not in love. We do however care for her and our caring grows with time.


I am not certain that I can differentiate between mental and emotional submission. To me they seem on the surface to be the same thing. As a said before all my submission begins in my head.

Oh and Dream, you don't have to reply... this is just my opinion. [/QUOTE
__________________________
i understand what you are sayin Cellis and wish you much happiness in the relationship you are in .. hope all goes well

 

[cellis]

Dream

I understand that it is difficult being away from Artful...... but your every post goes on and on and on about this. Everyone who reads just one of your posts knows this.

I wonder if you can consider for a moment all of the other people who come here who are separated from the ones they care about. They do not feel the need to go on about it.

I once suggested that you find some people to talk to about this issue and others affecting you are and Artful... I still think you need to do that.

And this is a literary board... why don't you write about it.

I am only trying to make suggestions that might help you.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: re:love and trust

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just yet another place we have VERY different but still valid opinions on Ebony. there are DIFFERENT KINDS of love you know.. I only said for me , INHO it works much better and you nor anyone else can deny me of my own rights to what I see is "right"


as for the lil tee hee "hogwash comment ? very cute but isnt it quite hysterical that if and when I CHOOSE to make lil quirks like that , I'm told that I'M "BEHAVING AS A CHILD .. OH WELL GUESS SOME THINGS CAN ONLY BE CONTROLLED BY my Master and not other People

First of all, if you think for one minute I am interested in controlling you or anyone else on this board you are sadly mistaken. Artful is welcome to you. I hope you two are very happy. MY own business keeps me busy 24/7. I do not have any time left to care about yours.

However, it is not too much to ask you to think before you post, try to address the topic at hand, and stop acting as if the sun rises and set on you and your concerns.

Everyone here has something to contribute, but you are too busy looking for wrongs that you do not see what is right.

As for my comments, I was stating my opinion, which if you bothered to read them did not reflect on you.

Whatever your issues are, deal with them. But do not expect me and others to endure your stream of consciousness posts without comment.

You get plenty of validation when you post to topic, just like everyone else.

As for being right, since when have you gotten the inside track of what is right? There is no wrong or right when it comes to opinions.

Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. Deal with it .


Eb

 

[~Dream~]

Cellis..

Dream

I understand that it is difficult being away from Artful...... but your every post goes on and on and on about this. Everyone who reads just one of your posts knows this.

I wonder if you can consider for a moment all of the other people who come here who are separated from the ones they care about. They do not feel the need to go on about it.

I once suggested that you find some people to talk to about this issue and others affecting you are and Artful... I still think you need to do that.

And this is a literary board... why don't you write about it.

I am only trying to make suggestions that might help you.

___________________________
i do not feel I go on& on any more than anyone else and since He is a very big part of my life, it DOES affect how i post .. I post MY HEART , period .. i am sorry people have difficulty with that .. I dont see the "harm' in it at all,really.. as I said before i care to learn but I am who i am ,love me , hate me, whatever , i'll still be here to listen and learn and to testify of my love ...

I already staatred an LDR thread that i hoped would help and if people would just accept my posts as is esp to my own thread (i dont recall cutting up others) then all would be cool but so be it... peace

 

[artful]

iam4Her

Hi , i have been lurking around here for some time, and it is now time to introduce myself here.
i am Mistress Marlene´s slave and property.
English is my second language and i do my best.

the need to belong, to be loved and to be valued is the general beautiful needs we all have no matter if it is a vanilla relationship, bedroom play or a 24/7 relationship.

The subject of learning to "sink in" is interesting.
Yes, you can learn a lot by reading and build up a database in your head of what people say and write, but for lessons to really "sink in" is a RT thing.
The interaction between a Dominant and a submissive in RT is really the time when things can "sink in" if you have a need to learn the way a Dominant is and what He/She expects from you.

A good example: you come home after a hard day of work with a big amount of mental stress and are completely exhausted and have a big need to rest and talk about your stress.
When you come home you will find that your Dom/me has also has had a bad day and needs your serving. He/She wants a massage, a wonderful dinner, and also wants you to clean out His/Her office.

In this situation, you know that your Dom/me ´s pleasure comes first and you have to cope with your on exhaustion and stress, swallow it down and please your Dom/me first before it is time for your own needs. This is a complex situation, both mentally and emotionally, that you have to go through.

In a online relationship, you can easily decide to not turn on the computer until you have rested, or easily make up a couple of lies that the online Dom/me never can check the truth in...ohhh, the computer crashed…we have had a power outage here...Literotica didn’t want to open up…aso.

The need and want to submit can never be faced for yourself until you go through real time, and real time is the real school for D/s.

The interaction of real time when you have a conversation and have to think through your words and actions in seconds and not in hours, ( compared to online ) is a huge difference.

What interacts in the seconds in a real conversation is the real face of who you are, and you will learn how to evaluate yourself, through the eyes of your Dom/me

In an online situation you can easily take hours and days to think through a question, which can make the Dom/me actually lose His/Her real Domination over the situation.
Its called "Topping from the bottom, as we know

The reason why i write all this comes down to your questions about that you sometimes don’t feel that you deserve to be your Masters slave, and how you can make things to sink in.

you can be loved, valued and appreciated by your friends, parents, boyfriend, Master, Mistress, your dog, your cat, and your neighbours, there is nothing wrong with that, but these needs are things that are not the things that makes a D/s relationship special compared to the others.

The interaction eye to eye, word to word, is the school how to learn and make things "sink in", but still, it will always be up to you if you want to listen , then learn, then show what you have been taught.

To clearify myself here, i am not saying that online realtionship is something bad, it is a wonderful start of what can become real.
Online is how i met my Mistress and it made me learn alot of who She is and what She expected.
And yes you can still learn some stuff online about yourself, but loneliness infront of a computer can make anyone question themself.

iam4Her
proud property of
Mistress Marlene

Your post is one of the BEST posts relating to the difficulties of an LDR, that I have ever read. It is packed with INFORMATION, and only needs to be read with an OPEN mind to see the value.

(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it.

 

[~Dream~]

Ebonyfire..

You have a valid point.
I have decided to "shift' my focus into seeing the "rights" and not the "wrongs' in other people's posts .. thank-you
Dream

 

[MasterKensbeany]

the heart and mind of a submissive

Hello Dream

I've been doing some thinking about your question in the original post, your concern about your mind fighting total submission. I can only speak for myself but, I don't really think this is rare. As much as we may be submissive in our hearts, the idea of giving complete control of your life to another is frightening. Sometimes that fear is at a subconscious level so that we don't really understand ourselves why we balk at relinquishing our self control.

Don't be too hard on yourself. I belive that the closer your relationship grows, the easier it will be for you. That said, it might take some real work on your part as well to overcome. You said that your Master won't force you ( a wise man I would say), that doesn't mean that you can't force yourself...make yourself face your fears and bend to him even when you don't wish to. Easier said than done but I think you'll find the rewards are more than worth the effort.

Respectfully
beany

 

[catalina_francisco]

A few off topic posts in the middle, but overall some excellent discussion and thoughts posted...anyone have anything they wish to add?

Catalina