False emotions, false experience.

[Bredon]

As a non-native speaker I have a bit of a hard time understanding this thread, (was it a joke or what?). I don't mind taking the bait here-- Actually, from anti-violence work I know men and women who seek out that so-called "real emotion" by going out and getting themselve raped (like in: really r**d by strangers, and potentially killed) obsessively, and I also know about self-proclaimed "masters", who say that safewords are for the faint of heart, that DeSade was right (I mean, *literally* right, kidnap them, pull out their teeth, who cares if they die), and they find it ok to maim and try to kill people during a "scene" (a friend of mine just got out of that)-- because that's real sadism. Well--- yes. It is.

About real and not-real-- science has shown that actors when they enact an emotion have almost the same brain activity as people who experience that emotion RL. So, that's the reason why this works--

Bredon

 

[JMohegan]

What is the sense of pretending to be scared, nervous, riled up, angry and humiliated when you could just be all of those things?

I have been asked this question, in various forms, quite often. For anyone reading who is sincerely interested in the topic at hand, here's my response.

To address the fake vs. real emotions question, I'll focus on fear - though KC was right in pointing out that those into BDSM do not necessarily feel scared or nervous. I could make a similar point by noting that I'm totally uninterested in humiliation, either giving or receiving.

It seems clear to me that many people watching horror films are capable of projecting themselves into the situation on the screen and experiencing genuine fear. The fact that the fear is not as intense as it would be if one were actually chased by a ghoul with a chainsaw does not alter the fact that the emotion experienced by the movie audience is real.

Same principle applies on the "runaway train" ride at an amusement park.

Same principle applies in many BDSM roleplay scenarios as well. An example from my personal experience is TBF (taken by force) roleplay, in which a partner and I *pretend* that the culminating sexual event is nonconsensual. This is a high risk/high reward event precisely because the emotional experience is so intense.

Shifting now from roleplay to pain play, my goal is for a partner to trust me, but fear the imminent, physical pain I inflict. Notwithstanding her trust in my judgment, maturity, regard for her, and slavish adherence to the safeword concept, the fear in these encounters is not only real, it is palpable. I can literally taste it on my tongue.

For additional views on the role of fear in BDSM, I recommend this thread.

 

[submissiveknight]

Relaxing sitting around watching t.v. ............ "Go and wait for me" emotions, realism, fantasy, the unknown, but knowing, an unexplainiful high! tic toc, tic toc (as the clock moves and the door hasn't even opened) tic toc, tic toc as your heart beats thru your ears. Don't get me wrong, there isn't any pretending here!!!

 

[shy slave]

Perhaps I am wrong, but I read the sentence mentioned more as referring to someone who would not or could not move beyond what they were doing without being told to or given some means of persuasion from the pyl to do so. I think there are some who venture into SM with a lack of confidence which in turn cripples them and their activities if they cannot move beyond that, not to mention it robs the submissive in question of being able to honestly surrender themselves to their role in the exchange. By all means check if there is any doubt, but I agree with shy that if they need a sub to fake a reaction to move forward or feel comfortable, there are grounds for concern...for me it then becomes a situation of role playing more so than an honest and open SM exchange.

Catalina

Thank you Cat, this is what I meant.

I have a knack of being misunderstood recently, I need to re-think how I post things.

FF I did find your comment sad, I may be in a relationship in r/l now, but it hasn't always been the case. Thank you for explaining those times when exaggeration of an emotion is useful.

Net, I worded my response badly, cat says it so much better than I did.