Fast Food and Fast Sex! Do you want fries with that cock?

Azure...Blueberry syrup??? Hmmm...Sticky..sweet..I gotta try that...Wanna b the one I try it on??? LoL:p
:heart: Cipher
 
Don't hook your dildo up to the car battery!

Food sex is one thing but an over-enthusiastic housewife from Sydney Australia recently ended up in the casualty ward at St Vincents Hospital when her dildo exploded.

It turns out that her husband was the fool responsible for the drama. She told him that the dildo batteries were running low and he came up with a really stupid idea to hook the sucker up to a 12 volt car battery.

Things went fine for about 10 seconds and his wife said she had a powerful orgasm adding "I was in heaven, I saw God!" before the dildo overheated and gave her the hottest pussy in town.

The good news is she only sustained mild burns and has to rub cream into her pussy for a couple of weeks. Maybe they should stick to fruit and vegetables? They don't overheat. Now don't you guys go out and start hooking things up to the car battery!
 
Note to self...

Always swallow any beverage in your mouth before beginning to read any post by Bender!

So, 12 volt , kept going and going even better than those ol wabbit ears?
 
Shag that burger good!

Okay, I am really getting a lot of e-mails now from food sex lovers throughout the world. Some great stories. Here are a couple of the classics I received:

From Bob, 32 year old Supermarket Security Officer, Chicago.
"Bender, you have to know the story about the time I caught a guy fucking a fresh chicken in the poultry section of the place where I work. Apparently he had been doing it for some time and after he shot his load into the bird, he would put it back into the fridge with the others. Man, so many people must have eatne his cum marinated birds!" Bob.

From Helen, 44 year old Librarian, Ohio.
"Bender, I have looked at your picture and would love it if you came over and used the whole fruit and vegetable section on my hot ass and pussy. You can stick anything into me! Your story turned me on. Please book a plane and fly over to Ohio. You won't be disappointed. Cum and see me". Helen.

From Billy Bob, Farmhand, Texas.
"Bender you are one sick son of a bitch. Who the fuck would stick a turnip in his ass and enjoy it for Christs sake. I think pigs and heffers are much better to fuck. Now don't you go writing any more dumb-ass stories, ya hear" Billy Bob.
 
LoL Bender just LoL Billy bob was snappin on ur ass..LoL
Too freakin funny!!:p
Cipher
 
It's just a damn good thing...

I decided to follow my own drinking rules before reading that last one Bender!

How's everyone?
 
12 volt car battery dildos!

Yeah, I know I'm a disgrace for passing out halfway through a hot fuck scene. But it was the bottle of JB that did it. Anyway that 12 inch car battery powered dildo felt really good!!!!!!!!

Of course Cipher then wanted to use her strap-on on the Bender man! That babe is so fucking HOT!!!!!!! You guys should see the HOT e-mails she sends to Bender. GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

As for shemales? Hell, I get rock hard thinking about a shemale that looks like Angelina Jolie but has an 8 inch cock!

What do you folks reckon about that?

:p
 
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