Feedback for the New Lit Author Cloudy

[ShyChiWriter]

I'm fairly new to Lit, and I've just got to say I have NO clue what everything going on this thread is about. Seems to be a lot of anger - but I'm pretty lost after that.

 

[sr71plt]

I'm fairly new to Lit, and I've just got to say I have NO clue what everything going on this thread is about. Seems to be a lot of anger - but I'm pretty lost after that.

Lucky you, then.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Also, I write excellent poems. Would Scouries bother trying to write serious poems?

Have you read Levertov's "On the Function of a Line"? You may find it helpful in your endeavors.

 

[Many Feathers]

Wtf

I have stories/poems under another name as well, so...not all that brave.

Thank you.

Too weird for words.


Hey baby......

 

[Epmd607]

Have you read Levertov's "On the Function of a Line"? You may find it helpful in your endeavors.

Yeah, actually, you're a fan? Your poetry has that same meandering playact as Levertov.

What is green in me
darkens, muscadine.
If woman is inconstant,
good, I am faithful to
ebb and flow, I fall
in season and now
is a time of ripening.
If her part
is to be true,
a north star,
good, I hold steady
in the black sky
and vanish by day,
yet burn there
in blue or above
quilts of cloud.
There is no savor
more sweet, more salt
than to be glad to be
what, woman,
and who, myself,
I am, a shadow
that grows longer as the sun
moves, drawn out
on a thread of wonder.
If I bear burdens
they begin to be remembered
as gifts, goods, a basket
of bread that hurts
my shoulders but closes me
in fragrance. I can
eat as I go.
.........................................
There’s enough light to see
through storm-grayed trees. Rain
slicks along curves, melting
into skin the way sweat joins
with the air. The wind licks
here, tasting the salt of steamed
flesh; then there, lapping
at sibilant leaves. Desire is

monochromatic on the outside.
Black, like lust-dilated eyes reflecting
a shrouded sky full of turbulence.
White, like a flash of teeth behind lips
in the split of light streaking across
the heavens to the ground.
Gray, like the taut need suspended,
upended, between two bodies. Inside,

it’s throbbing, like the pulse of the earth.

 

[cloudy]

Too weird for words.


Hey baby......

Hey, sexy.

Don't pay any attention to the child that started the thread. He's a hater, that's all.

eta: let's see...according to the cockroach, I'm "old, ugly, and all alone."

 

[driphoney]

Cloudy, you know you draw a lot of fire, so posting under your known moniker was brave.

First off, I gotta say, I have no idea how I managed to stick the flower in the wrong spot.
I need to start getting more sleep.

I'm fairly new to Lit, and I've just got to say I have NO clue what everything going on this thread is about. Seems to be a lot of anger - but I'm pretty lost after that.

Ignorance, in this case, is bliss. Enjoy it.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Yeah, actually, you're a fan? Your poetry has that same meandering playact as Levertov.

"Meandering playact." Whatever gets you through the day.

My poetry is awful. The only poem I have on Lit that's truly worth anything is the Geeks Send Mash Notes one. It's totally compilable. It's elegant. Even my heroes Rodney McKay and Spock would agree it's elegant. Though my other hero, Joker, was far more allusively imagistic when he put a bunch of Harley Davidsons in a vat of tapioca for his Harley puddin' I'm not up to Joker's breaching of Simic et al's depths of surrealistic imagism.

Well. Gay manporn waits for no woman.