Feedback wanted on a short scene

[StillStunned]

Here are some tips:

- change the font, colour and size every now and then, before your edit sessions. You'd be surprised how many typos you'll find.

- read through the last section you wrote before you read the next chunk. That sets up a rolling edit discipline, and also helps you get back into the flow of your text.

- get your grammar and punctuation right. They're the fundamentals of writing, get into good habits early. There's nothing worse than seeing lazy edit - if you don't know the basics, find a grammar guide and learn the rules. Don't rely on software to do it for you.

I'll add my usual "Read Aloud" tip. Word has a Read Aloud function, and most other word processors seem to have something similar. Sit down, watch the highlight jump from word to word. This will catch almost all your typos, it will help you see where you've repeated words too often, and it will give you a feel for where the text struggles.

I'm a professional editor, and me and my colleagues do this all the time.

 

[RoperTrace]

Depending on content, 5 - 10 days is fairly typical. Once it's submitted, don't touch it. Every time you do it goes to the back of the queue.

Submit the best copy you can, by proofreading thoroughly and paying attention to grammar and punctuation. My advice is, don't use Grammarly or similar, because you'll open yourself to right up to blandness and the possibility of a rejection for using AI.

After you've successfully posted a few stories, the process seems to take less time. Two-five days isn't unusual to get approval. I've had a 1-2 day turnaround on new chapters to a story that's already been approved.

 

[PapaRomantic]

I'll add my usual "Read Aloud" tip. Word has a Read Aloud function, and most other word processors seem to have something similar. Sit down, watch the highlight jump from word to word. This will catch almost all your typos, it will help you see where you've repeated words too often, and it will give you a feel for where the text struggles.

I'm a professional editor, and me and my colleagues do this all the time.

I've just recently discovered this (and it may have been a post you made somewhere else) and it works very well! I've caught several typos and mistakes I hadn't previously seen.

 

[HaralLuhhan]

I've just recently discovered this (and it may have been a post you made somewhere else) and it works very well! I've caught several typos and mistakes I hadn't previously seen.

I'm reading some of your stories now. Amazing. And a little intimidating when I look at my sad effort.

 

[PapaRomantic]

I'm reading some of your stories now. Amazing. And a little intimidating when I look at my sad effort.

You are too kind! There are a lot of writers that are better than I am! But I'm glad to have a place where my thoughts can be put into words and enjoyed by others.

 

[HaralLuhhan]

https://www.literotica.com/s/shifting-boundaries-ch-01

So, first chapter is published. Anyone in this thread want to have a look and review? Or maybe I should make a new thread?

Category I/T

 

[BiteMyLip]

I really like the suspense it creates. As others have said I'd be careful repeating certain phrases or actions - "tantalizingly close", or "head tilting". But it definitely created that feeling of wanting to act impulsively to have the contact that has been suggested. Well done.

 

[HaralLuhhan]

I really like the suspense it creates. As others have said I'd be careful repeating certain phrases or actions - "tantalizingly close", or "head tilting". But it definitely created that feeling of wanting to act impulsively to have the contact that has been suggested. Well done.

Thanks! Hopefully I've caught all that in the published version!

 

[PapaRomantic]

It was a very good opening chapter. I didn't want to stop reading it, so I made myself late for something just so I could finish it.

One concern I have is that the I/T audience usually loves sex early and often, so I hope they'll come back to your second chapter and not drop you because there wasn't enough sex.

I'm trying to figure out the mom's thoughts in this - she seems to be pushing dad and daughter together but isn't coming right out and saying it. Will be interested to follow her thoughts more as we go along.

Looking forward to Chapter 2!

 

[HaralLuhhan]

It was a very good opening chapter. I didn't want to stop reading it, so I made myself late for something just so I could finish it.

One concern I have is that the I/T audience usually loves sex early and often, so I hope they'll come back to your second chapter and not drop you because there wasn't enough sex.

I'm trying to figure out the mom's thoughts in this - she seems to be pushing dad and daughter together but isn't coming right out and saying it. Will be interested to follow her thoughts more as we go along.

Looking forward to Chapter 2!

Thanks for the review! Yeah I need to get things rolling for the next chapter for sure.

The mothers motivation is what bugged me in the original story I mentioned being inspiration for this one as well. I had hoped to solve that problem, but it seems I'm not quite there yet.