Fetlife.

[SweetCuriousDarling]

I think a popular misconception about Fet is that it's a dating site. It's not. It's really not geared to that at all, as reflected in the complaints that you can't directly search for local people who share your kinks. What Fet *is* is an amazing source of information. As mentioned above, there are forums for just about anything, and you can find fantastic resources to really educate yourself about all manner of kink activities. It can also hook you into real world events for the same.

The downside of Fet for me is that there is a *lot* of drama among its popular users. Every week there seems to be a new feud that smears itself all over the main page. I've minimized my exposure to this nonsense by creating a liberal block list of the most prolific offenders, which keeps their nonsense out of my feed and gives me access to more content that actually interests me.

In short, Fet is really what you make it.

 

[LWulf]

Some people swear by fetlife, others just don't get it. I fall in the latter category. It's a place for social butterflies.

Very clique-y. You have to know someone to be accepted into groups, otherwise...

I'm sure there are some social butterflies and clique-oriented people who will contest what I'm saying.

 

[Hipshot1554]

I think the majority are simply posers, but what do I know?

 

[Beatrix_B]

XXXX

 

[A_E_G]

Fet opened up the kink social world to us! We started out using the writings as a source of knowledge for what to do AND not to do. Then we found a few munches and made a lot of like-minded friends. Now we also use it to find workshops, skill-shares, and cons.

Looking forward to a munch tomorrow night, a sledding party Saturday with kinky friends, and have already committed to three camping events this summer.

 

[A_E_G]

Keep in mind that Fet has been over-run in the past few years with three groups which don't seem to understand the social rules of the kink community and may tarnish your experience if you aren't savvy:

1. 50 Shades tourists

2. Tumblr refugees

3. displaced craigslist personals

 

[Ozfetishguy]

In short, Fet is really what you make it.

I couldn't agree more. The more effort you put in, the more likely it is that you'll find what you're looking for.

 

[KBelle1104]

So, I haven’t posted in for fucking ever because I was supposed to have deleted my account (but I couldn’t and no one would help me so here I am)...

I LOVE Fetlife. It is 1000000000 better than this site. Way easier to use, especially when it comes to photos.

 

[chame1eon]

So, I haven’t posted in for fucking ever because I was supposed to have deleted my account (but I couldn’t and no one would help me so here I am)...

I LOVE Fetlife. It is 1000000000 better than this site. Way easier to use, especially when it comes to photos.

I posted this so long ago I'm about to answer my own question lol but I wouldn't say it's better.

Its easier to post view and love pictures, but most people dont seem to really talk except through pm.

This site is better for talking.

 

[chame1eon]

Keep in mind that Fet has been over-run in the past few years with three groups which don't seem to understand the social rules of the kink community and may tarnish your experience if you aren't savvy:

1. 50 Shades tourists

2. Tumblr refugees

3. displaced craigslist personals

I think I noticed what you are talking about but it's not like everyone you friend is actually your friend irl either.

People are just using the site the way that works for them.

 

[JJA122]

I just checked it out now. It has my favourite fetish on it that's not discussed much here. It does seem clunky though and in my opinion, reddit is better, or even a specific forum on the kink perhaps.

What's you're experience using it? I'm not sure where to start. I especially want to hear what it's like as a straight male. I was surprised that there are several things going on in my area, but they are all VERY unspecific on the kink and you have to know someone.

 

[chame1eon]

I just checked it out now. It has my favourite fetish on it that's not discussed much here. It does seem clunky though and in my opinion, reddit is better, or even a specific forum on the kink perhaps.

What's you're experience using it? I'm not sure where to start. I especially want to hear what it's like as a straight male. I was surprised that there are several things going on in my area, but they are all VERY unspecific on the kink and you have to know someone.

reddit seems to be full of underage people pretending to be older. it is creepy.

 

[MissMandy86]

No . Fet isnt a dating site and really i enjoy reading the groups. If your looking for hookups you wont do well at fet but its likes more of a bdsm facebook

The biggest thing i like about fet is you can write freely without getting anything approved or worrying about punctuation. As soon as you hit publish its live

 

[chame1eon]

No . Fet isnt a dating site and really i enjoy reading the groups. If your looking for hookups you wont do well at fet but its likes more of a bdsm facebook

The biggest thing i like about fet is you can write freely without getting anything approved or worrying about punctuation. As soon as you hit publish its live

I don't know about that. its definately not designed to be a dating site and it would be terribly clunky if it was but people still hook up.

 

[JJA122]

reddit seems to be full of underage people pretending to be older. it is creepy.

Where...
How did you see that?

 

[chame1eon]

Where...
How did you see that?

well it's not like you can see them but i suspect, but i am 39 and even the 18 year olds kinda make me feel creepy heh.

Its just a much younger crowd

 

[JJA122]

well it's not like you can see them but i suspect, but i am 39 and even the 18 year olds kinda make me feel creepy heh.

Its just a much younger crowd

I understand.

 

[Lydia_Deetz]

I just checked it out now. It has my favourite fetish on it that's not discussed much here. It does seem clunky though and in my opinion, reddit is better, or even a specific forum on the kink perhaps.

What's you're experience using it? I'm not sure where to start. I especially want to hear what it's like as a straight male. I was surprised that there are several things going on in my area, but they are all VERY unspecific on the kink and you have to know someone.

No . Fet isnt a dating site and really i enjoy reading the groups. If your looking for hookups you wont do well at fet but its likes more of a bdsm facebook

The biggest thing i like about fet is you can write freely without getting anything approved or worrying about punctuation. As soon as you hit publish its live

I enjoy FetLife for a few different groups that I belong to. I can also find local events that I would otherwise not know about. I've made a few good friends through that site. It's nice to be able to find local kinky people!

 

[human_male]

I think its fine. There are tons of interest groups but a lot of them are more or less dead. There are more local groups than Fet if you want to chat to people in your area. And you can add a lot more to your profile. There's also an events near me page if you're looking for munches or whatever.

I believe women get bombarded with messages, often very crude so its best to have a gender neutral name if you don't want that.

 

[ericalauren]

The fibromyalgia boards I've gotten the most help from are on FetLife. Ones else where tend toward the "god will cure you" BS.

Otherwise, I've found more than a few idiots that required a block button but ya can't have everything.

I'm on some FetLife fibromyalgia boards, too. Yes, there are some shitty people on FetLife, though. I'm thankful for the block button, to say the least.

 

[Maddiel1]

It’s geared more towards RL kinkiness and not so much online. Like some have said it’s kinky Facebook. Use it as such. I’m lucky in that i have a great and active local group. I use it to connect with them, ask questions, keep up to date on virtual events. I really don’t have any casual contact with strangers. It’s not a dating site nor a place strictly for online play like Lit.

 

[simplylovelypoet]

Fetlife is supposed to be a resource for finding local events and players.
I enjoy Fetlife very much! I’ve done great and not so great experiences, but that’s with anything.

I enjoy the educational aspects that come with Fetlife. I’ve learned a lot about etiquette, roles, and what to look for in well versed players.

I’ve also experienced a lot of the kinks and fetishes I enjoy simply because the opportunities are easily accessible.

 

[brightsmile]

I like Fetlife. It's not a dating site, like Lit, but it is easier to find someone in your local area to talk to and meet if you're looking for something in real life. However, like Lit you have to screen out a lot of inappropriate messages before you find people that are sincere.

 

[PapaDan]

Keep in mind that Fet has been over-run in the past few years with three groups which don't seem to understand the social rules of the kink community and may tarnish your experience if you aren't savvy:

1. 50 Shades tourists

2. Tumblr refugees

3. displaced craigslist personals

How would you define *social rules* for a kink community? In whose opinion would the rules be?

Fair question.

 

[stickygirl]

I'd avoided Reddit for years given its bad reputation, but I discovered a niche group that were amazing - really supportive & informed people. Then the moderator changed, twice, and the group totally changed and I was frozen out. I don't bother visiting anymore. I get the impression Reddit is SO huge, its impossible to control.

Fetlife felt like arriving at a busy airport terminal on Jupiter - just weird.