First kiss horror stories, anyone?

[wishfulthinking]

It was my older brother's extremely cute, kickboxing champion best friend. Floppy brown hair and blue eyes. I told him I had never beem kissed before, and to kiss me or get lost. Must have been 16 at the time, and very shy, so I almost died when I said that. He was extremely surprised, but he kissed me very very nicely! Then he told my brother, and my brother told my mum, and they both had a good laugh. Very cringe worthy.

 

[pop_54]

Re: Re: Ha!!!

Gawd, man, you have a way with words that does me in. Wanna fook?

Perdita & Co.

Hey gorgeous, fancy a quick plonk and slurp, or maybe a good Fook'ing or two Then.


Reminds me of an old joke.

Guy walks into a Chinese Restaurant, "Hey are you Wan-King the Manager?" He asks a little oriental chap.

"No I'm Foo-king the Chef" The Chinese guy replies.

pops..............

 

[MathGirl]

First kiss was just a peck behind the lockers.

Dear Mi,
It's not every girl who's lucky enough to get kissed there.
Enviously,
MG

 

[minsue]

Dear Mi,
It's not every girl who's lucky enough to get kissed there.
Enviously,
MG

After I posted, I realized that the phrasing was a bit...off. I thought about editing, but decided to leave it for you. You didn't disappoint, but then you never do.

- Mindy, amused as usual

 

[Guest]

Crap, I don't have any lockers.

Perdita

 

[Belegon]

Guess I'm a middle bloomer...

I have always thought of my first kiss as being the first time I got nervious in anticipation of it as opposed to little pecks of daring, so...1982, barely 16 years old and took a girl no one thought would date me to the dance. Walked her to her door at the end of the night not having kissed her yet but having come very close during slow dances. Holding both her hands, looked into her eyes in an attempt to seem cool that came off as being terrified, calmed down and kissed her first on her right cheek , then her left and finally on her lips. Saw her a few times after that but were never really "going steady", just dating. I think I will always remember her face and name even so.

 

[Xelebes]

Curse you all. I have not had my first kiss yet. Not one from my sister, nadda. I'm still 18 though so I still have plenty of time to correct that.

 

[wishfulthinking]

To X,

 

[MathGirl]

Oh, yes you do.

Crap, I don't have any lockers.

Dear Perdita,
Of course you do. Every woman has lockers (assuming they haven't been surgically removed or just fallen off). On some of us, like MinS, they are better developed and more sensitive than on others. Some, like yourself, just go through life blissfully unaware of what they're missing. Probably just a matter of meeting the right man.
MG

 

[Guest]

Thank you, Maths. I will be patient. I was afraid, though, that I might have lost them after menopause. (The 'right' man? Yeah, sure.)

Perdita

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I don't mind very much the fact that I don't have any lockers, but I sure wish that I had bigger knockers!

 

[whispering_surrender]

I don't mind very much the fact that I don't have any lockers, but I sure wish that I had bigger knockers!

No. No, you don't. Trust me. They're more trouble than they're worth.

Whisp

 

[MathGirl]

They're more trouble than they're worth.

Dear Whis,
I always thought that about my lockers. Then I got kissed behind them. Woo woo woo.
MG

 

[Guest]

 

[Xelebes]

To X,

Good enough.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

No. No, you don't. Trust me. They're more trouble than they're worth.

Whisp

I take comfort in the fact that after I've had my kids, and am done with all the breastfeeding, they will look "normal", and not saggy, like everyone else's.

 

[MathGirl]

I take comfort in the fact that after I've had my kids, and am done with all the breastfeeding, they will look "normal", and not saggy, like everyone else's.

Dear Svenska,
I thought we were talking about lockers, here.
MG

 

[cynter]

1st kiss

I was 11, he was 14. He wore a leather jacket, rode a cool bike and had Marlboro Reds. I brought the Juicy Fruit gum. We went off into the woods at the end of a dirt road and parked our bikes. Then shared some gum and cigarettes and he kissed me. A very plain, quick smack on the mouth. We stood the whole time because it was so overgrown with weeds and stuff. I was more impressed by the gum and the cigarettes than by his kiss.

 

[Guest]

 

[shereads]

She was embarrassed because the skirt of her uniform caught over my head and ripped...Being a 'proper' Boy Scout I had a sewing kit in my pocket. I sewed the skirt seam and earned a kiss.

OG, your stories are always the best. In this case, your first kiss came after your first time with your face under a woman's skirt. You rule.

 

[shereads]

8th Grade...tried to french kiss my g/f (a year younger)...she pushed me away and spit...appears that my tongue disgusted her

I think I shared in common with a lot of girls the experience of having a boy stick his tongue in there without any warning, as if he had read that it was a rule. The first one who tongue-kissed me had eaten a bologne sandwich and hadn't brushed his teeth and just wormed it in there, crumbs and mayonnaise bits and all, with no finesse and made a sort of slurping sound, and when it was done I thought I was a lesbian.

It was several years later before I had a tongue kiss with some technique behind it and found out I could respond to a man's tongue with other reflexes than the gag one.

He had a beard. Could that be where my thing for beards began? Or was it the beard that made the tongue work?

Chicken or egg, gauche?

 

[shereads]

Curse you all. I have not had my first kiss yet. Not one from my sister, nadda. I'm still 18 though so I still have plenty of time to correct that.

Oh good, we ladies can offer pointers.

1) No food without brushing teeth, and most especially not a bologne sandwich

2) Soft, barely-there, teasing kisses to start with...Progressing to little nibbles as if she's delicious, but too precious to be consumed all at once.

Tongue is used sparingly at first, if at all. Tongue = mouth sex, so foreplay first. When she wants the tongue, you won't have to jam it in between closed lips.

Of course, that's just what I wish someone had told my first kisser before the kiss. Others may want things done differently. Others may even like the bologne taste, but I bet not.

 

[Guest]

and when it was done I thought I was a lesbian.

ella, my first kiss was fine, but there were some that made me think about becoming a lezzie.

cracked up,

Perdita

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Done. Click Here!

Decisions, decisions...

 

[jfinn]

First kiss. Marcus somebody, he got up in front of our whole second grade class and asked me for a date. I wanted to die. The next day he kissed me as I walked past him after handing in my spelling test. I think they heard me screaming three floors down in the principal's office. I went home sick. Marcus went into counseling.

First kiss I wanted. In Miami on vacation. Sadler something from NY. He had to leave early to go back to school and asked me to go with him to the airport. I was thirteen and thought he looked a lot like Chad of Chad and Jeremy. He was fourteen and wanted to be Holden Caulfield. It was a very preppy moment, just the two of us in the back seat of a cab. I wonder now how the driver kept from laughing.

First kiss with tongue. Both sixteen. One of those summer teen dance things. David maybe (?). Another blond with black framed glasses--I was in a rut. We went for a walk and ended up on an old graveyard. We sat on a tombstone and he laid one on me. I don't know which creeped me out more, his slobbering or the cemetary. We ended up going back to the dance and I never saw him again. At least it cured me of blond haired men.

Jayne