For the men who into wife sharing, or cheating wives...WHY?

[BradfromGA]

I know what you mean. I do love the humiliation/disrespect aspect of it, but from my wife. There will definitely be problems if disrespect came from the guy. I guess for me he is nothing more than an instrument for my wife.

You can't lump all guys who want to share their wife into the same bucket. There are several reasons why he may want it to happen. The OP's belief that is solely about disrespect or being humiliated is way off base. In my opinion that is.

 

[ConflictedOne]

You can't lump all guys who want to share their wife into the same bucket. There are several reasons why he may want it to happen. The OP's belief that is solely about disrespect or being humiliated is way off base. In my opinion that is.

I IMAGINE it because it is the only way I get to see my VERY timid wife to open up...

 

[BradfromGA]

I IMAGINE it because it is the only way I get to see my VERY timid wife to open up...

Here is hoping you get to see that timid hot wife of yours go wild!

 

[policywank]

The reason why I brought up sanity, and men in the military because, it's a huge disrespect for a man that is serving his country to have his wife cheat on him. But it's even odder for a man in uniform wants that disrespect. Especially since military men are very alpha like in very way imaginable.

I just think that maybe men who like being disrespected in such a way might need to go see a professional, and get help, and self-esteem, and self-worth.

I am sorry but I think you are way off base and presenting a given point of view as universal when it is simply not the case.

Yes the military is a macho environment that is intolerant of anything that doesn't fit their stereotype of what it is to be a man. And they are fairly successful at silencing dissenting views but that isn't the same as everyone actually agreeing. Many military people are not so intolerant. Some are even gay and proud of it. Would you conclude that since they don't speak of their homosexuality due to fear of reprisals that they are ashamed of it? Should they be ashamed of it because a handful of jarheads think they should be? That would be truly sad. I will apologize immediately here to all of the honourable men and women of the service who are anything but jarheads - I am simply trying to counter what I see as a gross misrepresentation of the military and the people in it while recognizing that their are undercurrents of intolerant machismo.

Cheating and having an alternative lifestyle are not the same. My relationship allows for sex with other men so I am not cheating. And I know for certain that there are military people in similar relationships that do not accept monogamy as the only route and do not accept the judgment that you seem to believe is universal. The fact that a majority of military people may judge the situation negatively does not mean each individual has to accept or defer to that judgment.....and many do not. Whether my actions are disrespectful or humiliating is determined only by how my husband feels.....not how others think he should feel.

I would also strongly disagree that military men are all alphas. In fact their primary directive is to be obedient to their superiors. Alphas tend to be natural leaders - not people who let others dictate their attitudes or who confuse aggression with leadership. For every Alpha male leader in the military there are a hundred foot soldiers doing as they are told. Again apologies to military personnel, I am just addressing a narrow stereotype, but a true Alpha male doesn't let everyone else tell him what to think or believe in.

As for people who enjoy being disrespected needing professional help, again you are telling them what amounts to disrespect. If a man is in an open relationship wherein it is acknowledged and accepted that his partner has sex with other men, she is not disrespecting him by doing so. That doesn't change based upon how many other people think he shouldn't be accepting of the situation.

What you seem to be referring to is a ridiculous internet version of hot wifing or open relationships and a comically intolerant caricature of military personnel. Like I said I know military people who are in open relationships and every bit the man as the macho guys who think they need to own their woman like a chattel.

 

[Queen_Vicki]

I am sorry but I think you are way off base and presenting a given point of view as universal when it is simply not the case.

Yes the military is a macho environment that is intolerant of anything that doesn't fit their stereotype of what it is to be a man. And they are fairly successful at silencing dissenting views but that isn't the same as everyone actually agreeing. Many military people are not so intolerant. Some are even gay and proud of it. Would you conclude that since they don't speak of their homosexuality due to fear of reprisals that they are ashamed of it? Should they be ashamed of it because a handful of jarheads think they should be? That would be truly sad. I will apologize immediately here to all of the honourable men and women of the service who are anything but jarheads - I am simply trying to counter what I see as a gross misrepresentation of the military and the people in it while recognizing that their are undercurrents of intolerant machismo.

Cheating and having an alternative lifestyle are not the same. My relationship allows for sex with other men so I am not cheating. And I know for certain that there are military people in similar relationships that do not accept monogamy as the only route and do not accept the judgment that you seem to believe is universal. The fact that a majority of military people may judge the situation negatively does not mean each individual has to accept or defer to that judgment.....and many do not. Whether my actions are disrespectful or humiliating is determined only by how my husband feels.....not how others think he should feel.

I would also strongly disagree that military men are all alphas. In fact their primary directive is to be obedient to their superiors. Alphas tend to be natural leaders - not people who let others dictate their attitudes or who confuse aggression with leadership. For every Alpha male leader in the military there are a hundred foot soldiers doing as they are told. Again apologies to military personnel, I am just addressing a narrow stereotype, but a true Alpha male doesn't let everyone else tell him what to think or believe in.

As for people who enjoy being disrespected needing professional help, again you are telling them what amounts to disrespect. If a man is in an open relationship wherein it is acknowledged and accepted that his partner has sex with other men, she is not disrespecting him by doing so. That doesn't change based upon how many other people think he shouldn't be accepting of the situation.

What you seem to be referring to is a ridiculous internet version of hot wifing or open relationships and a comically intolerant caricature of military personnel. Like I said I know military people who are in open relationships and every bit the man as the macho guys who think they need to own their woman like a chattel.

Why would you assume that I think anything bad about gays in the military? I don't actually.And I simply just pointed out that it's odd or even military men to be into wifesharing.Actually, I was giving people who serve in the military a compliment,and showing them some type of respect for once in my life with that comment.

 

[BGN86]

At it's base level, I'm not sure that it's a whole lot different than wanting to watch your wife with another woman. It's ultimately about getting turned on by watching your wife get pleasured or pleasing someone else. I guess the obvious objection for someone not into this is that seeing your wife with a woman you don't feel there is a risk of getting emotionally attached but that risk may be greater in sharing your heterosexual wife with another man. I guess that's why those that participate in it long term, successfully are in committed loving relationships where everyone involves is able to separate sexual pleasure from love. It's definitely not for the jealous types. If you buy into the idea that you may lose your wife or that even if you don't lose her, having some one else use her body means there is less for you somehow or that having some else give her pleasure means you are not as good, then I can see why someone wouldn't be interested.
I am sure it will never happen for us, but I do find the idea of hotwifing, etc to be a turn on. The humiliation aspect that some enjoy is not for me however.

 

[tjernst]

Nailed

BG, you nailed. Perfect description of why and who can enjoy this.

 

[policywank]

Why would you assume that I think anything bad about gays in the military? I don't actually.And I simply just pointed out that it's odd or even military men to be into wifesharing.Actually, I was giving people who serve in the military a compliment,and showing them some type of respect for once in my life with that comment.

I don't think you think anything bad about gay people in the military.

I was making the point that not so long ago we might reasonably have concluded that there were very no or few gay people in the military. We now know that wasn't true - they were simply pressured, shamed and intimidated into not admitting it.

You are assuming that since few military men would openly support hot wifing that this is a true reflection of their attitude. I am suggesting that what you are observing is not the absence of acceptance but the unwillingness to express it because of the negative consequences.

The suggestion that your comments are somehow a backhanded compliment to military men would seem to be based upon your own negative judgment of men who are accepting of a non-monogamy. Don't you think that your own obvious disapproval of this lifestyle affects the degree to which men are likely to be forthright with you about it?

Put yourself in 1985. Imagine a big burly intolerant sergeant with the power to change men's careers barking out " there ain't no fags in this regiment are there fellas." I am sure that you can see that the fact that nobody put up their hand is not proof positive that there are no gays in the military.

I respectfully submit that neither you or I has an accurate picture of the prevalence among military men of polyamory acceptance. All we know is that the military would aggressively discourage them from admitting it thereby dramatically decreasing the prospects of an honest perspective.

 

[bi69todd]

At it's base level, I'm not sure that it's a whole lot different than wanting to watch your wife with another woman. It's ultimately about getting turned on by watching your wife get pleasured or pleasing someone else. I guess the obvious objection for someone not into this is that seeing your wife with a woman you don't feel there is a risk of getting emotionally attached but that risk may be greater in sharing your heterosexual wife with another man. I guess that's why those that participate in it long term, successfully are in committed loving relationships where everyone involves is able to separate sexual pleasure from love. It's definitely not for the jealous types. If you buy into the idea that you may lose your wife or that even if you don't lose her, having some one else use her body means there is less for you somehow or that having some else give her pleasure means you are not as good, then I can see why someone wouldn't be interested.
I am sure it will never happen for us, but I do find the idea of hotwifing, etc to be a turn on. The humiliation aspect that some enjoy is not for me however.

Well said! My wife and I love each other very much, and we are able to separate that love from sexual pleasure. I love to watch her face while she enjoys a strange cock. She is amazing!

 

[Solitaryman54]

I IMAGINE it because it is the only way I get to see my VERY timid wife to open up...

Don't take this wrong... its only a question, but can't you get you very timid wife to open up?

 

[SlutAddicted]

The reason why I brought up sanity, and men in the military because, it's a huge disrespect for a man that is serving his country to have his wife cheat on him. But it's even odder for a man in uniform wants that disrespect. Especially since military men are very alpha like in very way imaginable.

I just think that maybe men who like being disrespected in such a way might need to go see a professional, and get help, and self-esteem, and self-worth.

Normally I get frustrated by those who nitpick definitions but I can't help it here. I believe you are confusing being an Alpha male with traditional concepts of masculinity. An Alpha male is one who leads and takes care of the pack so to speak. The notion of the Alpha being simplified to the biggest, toughest male is largely confined to the animal kingdom and is entirely dependent upon there being only one Alpha per pack. Most human leaders need to be more than just big and bad - intelligence, empathy, strategic thinking, experience etc are all far more important than how good you are at violence. To the extent that the military does by necessity put a greater emphasis on a primal version of the Alpha it can ONLY work like the wolf pack - one Alpha per pack. A military with all Alpha males would be ineffective with each going off in their own direction. Conformity and deference to leadership is critical to a functional military.

I have great respect for military people. Most epitomize strength, perseverance and team work. But there are only and can only be so many generals. Aggression, physical strength and intolerance do not make you a leader.

And the proposition that those who don't subscribe to your definitions of sexuality and relationship dynamics are some how mentally deficient or lack in self esteem smacks of the sort of bigotry and intolerance that occasionally besmirches the otherwise stellar reputation of our military personnel. If you like your men big, aggressive, uniformed, violently possessive and intolerant that is your business. But don't pass that narrow perspective off as some sort of universal truth or one correct path.

 

[MrSneakyinPA]

I know my wife has had great sex before we met. We have great sex now. I love her, and want her to feel absolutely free to explore ANY sexual desires she might have, so I encourage her to think about another man in bed with her. While she has no genuine interest now, and may never to actually have sex with another man. She knows I love her enough to trust her too. And she knows I'd love her to do it if she thinks she would enjoy it. It's a trust, love thing. I want her to be as sexually open and satisfied as she would ever want to be, with another woman, another man, or even a couple other men if she ever felt THAT wild.

She had sex with 2 guys at a party way before I met her. She had been drinking and her inhibitions were way way down. One guy, she knew and was flirting with even before the party, and assumed they would probably have sex that night. When he led her to the bedroom, a friend of his came with them. She didn't know it was going to happen, or what was going to happen. But she let them both share her. She claims she doesn't remember much since she was drinking, which may be true. But she also knows I think it's really hot that she did it, with 2 guys and want her to do it again.

 

[Blue_Duck]

For me it is all about seeing her pleasured. There is no humiliation involved....just three or four adults focused on pleasing each other and everyone getting the opportunity to cum at least once.....preferably more times for her. It truly is incredible to watch a man please your wife to the point she makes. Listed that you have never heard her make before.

 

[41andone]

One thing I enjoy is seeing my wife orgasm, well almost any woman orgasm for that matter....and I found she enjoys and is flattered by the attention she gets from other men. In that light it became a shared fantasy. Although we have only taken the fantasy into the bedroom it is still something we talk about when she sees or meets a man she finds attractive. I am no alpha by any means and don't feel there is any humiliation in sharing. I suppose there are several levels of this type of fetish but I would just love to see her pleased, have some fun...actually she is so hot after flirting or having some eye contact that she gets that certain look in her eye and I can tell it is going to be a long and sexy night for us.

 

[Black_and_White_Writer]

At it's base level, I'm not sure that it's a whole lot different than wanting to watch your wife with another woman. It's ultimately about getting turned on by watching your wife get pleasured or pleasing someone else. I guess the obvious objection for someone not into this is that seeing your wife with a woman you don't feel there is a risk of getting emotionally attached but that risk may be greater in sharing your heterosexual wife with another man. I guess that's why those that participate in it long term, successfully are in committed loving relationships where everyone involves is able to separate sexual pleasure from love. It's definitely not for the jealous types. If you buy into the idea that you may lose your wife or that even if you don't lose her, having some one else use her body means there is less for you somehow or that having some else give her pleasure means you are not as good, then I can see why someone wouldn't be interested.
I am sure it will never happen for us, but I do find the idea of hotwifing, etc to be a turn on. The humiliation aspect that some enjoy is not for me however.

From what I know of the lifestyle the humiliation thing is often a much smaller subset and almost none existent in loving couples that are equals. Most dominant females I've known or read about aren't bothered to swap or to seek out extra make company, they prefer their partner for obvious reasons.

It seems to be a more'cinematic' theme that works mostly in erotica to spice up the sexual escapades of the lady and to create a stronger narrative voice for the male character.

 

[Black_and_White_Writer]

Normally I get frustrated by those who nitpick definitions but I can't help it here. I believe you are confusing being an Alpha male with traditional concepts of masculinity. An Alpha male is one who leads and takes care of the pack so to speak. The notion of the Alpha being simplified to the biggest, toughest male is largely confined to the animal kingdom and is entirely dependent upon there being only one Alpha per pack. Most human leaders need to be more than just big and bad - intelligence, empathy, strategic thinking, experience etc are all far more important than how good you are at violence. To the extent that the military does by necessity put a greater emphasis on a primal version of the Alpha it can ONLY work like the wolf pack - one Alpha per pack. A military with all Alpha males would be ineffective with each going off in their own direction. Conformity and deference to leadership is critical to a functional military.

I have great respect for military people. Most epitomize strength, perseverance and team work. But there are only and can only be so many generals. Aggression, physical strength and intolerance do not make you a leader.

And the proposition that those who don't subscribe to your definitions of sexuality and relationship dynamics are some how mentally deficient or lack in self esteem smacks of the sort of bigotry and intolerance that occasionally besmirches the otherwise stellar reputation of our military personnel. If you like your men big, aggressive, uniformed, violently possessive and intolerant that is your business. But don't pass that narrow perspective off as some sort of universal truth or one correct path.

I can only say "here here, bravo!"

That's certainly not my view of men. In fact I think an alpha male is something to run from if they're like that. All true men know how to express tenderness and openness that makes them stronger still in my eyes.

 

[BareBackRider2]

Why are you into such a thing? I would imagine any logical thinking sane man worth their salt would be extremely pissed at the thought of their wives with another man, but as I look more into weird sexual fantasies ,cuckhold and wife-sharing seems like it's a popular fantasy among men. I even heard some men in the Marine's, and military are into it too.

For me sex is about her pleasure and that in turn brings me pleasure.

Even watching her pleasure herself can bring me off.

We've not done it with other people and the reality is that if done it could become very destructive. Not just for us but for family around us.

So while many of us guys on here have the fantasy, And some couples have even acted on it, don't think that we're not very away of the fire we're playing with.

 

[ConflictedOne]

For me sex is about her pleasure and that in turn brings me pleasure.

Even watching her pleasure herself can bring me off.

We've not done it with other people and the reality is that if done it could become very destructive. Not just for us but for family around us.

So while many of us guys on here have the fantasy, And some couples have even acted on it, don't think that we're not very away of the fire we're playing with.

Exactly!

 

[michelle3]

wife sharing

I love my wife and always will. She is dominant over me and I like it that way. When we first got together she told me she liked black men for sex sometimes so I indulge her and we have had sex with several black men and a few white guys too. I would rather she tell me than sneak around and do it behind my back, so when she meets a guy she finds attractive she tells me and we work out a time and place and if it works out she has sex with him and I am always there with her. I love to watch her with other men and I sometimes join in and have a threeway scene going. I like men sometimes too and I crossdress and it feels very feminine to be with a man for sex. She also likes to see me with another man sucking his cock and fucking me so it works out for us.

Michelle

 

[parachutemind]

I was very conservative and jealous in my younger years, HS and College. I remember always getting turned on when gfs would tell me about their past adventures. My current gf def brought out a more sexual side to me and we talk about fantasies openly, nothing is out of bounds. Acting on them is a dif story lol. Some need to stay fantasy haha. I love sex with my gf, and i'm def not into being humiliated or degraded. For me it's about her pleasure, i've always been a giver in the bedroom and nothing gives me more pleasure than her pleasure. I want to be able to give her an amazing life in all aspects and that includes sex. We have played with another couple before, girls only playing. Recently we've discussed having a mmf threesome, she's not comfortable sharing me and I honestly have no desire to be with another woman or be the center of attention. I want my gf to be the center of attention. When we discussed me watching her with another man it always turned both of us on, so the best we could arrange so far is for her to have sex with her ex bf, we chose him because she feels comfortable with him being that they've slept together way before we met. Even though he wasn't comfortable with an mmf or me being there, I got an amazing video out of it. He's def much bigger than me prob close to 9, i'm about 7 but it seems like i'm about as big as my gf can take for pleasure. It was an amazing experience for us, we hope to explore more but it is and always will be about us, giving eachother pleasure and a fun adventurous life together. It was a good experience, anything we try and it isn't for us, that's fine too. Everyone has to find their little slice of happiness, if she didn't have fun or didn't enjoy it, that would be the end of it no matter what my fantasies are.

 

[parachutemind]

PS, any help on how to find a straight male for mmf, feel free to contact me. It's really hard to find lol, who knew. My gf is drop dead gorgeous btw.

 

[KinkyGAGuy]

PS, any help on how to find a straight male for mmf, feel free to contact me. It's really hard to find lol, who knew. My gf is drop d:ead gorgeous btw.

I will need 2 phone numbers, email address, street address, and travel expenses, and I can help you guys out! Oh and I need pictures! Preferably slutty ones!

 

[KinkyGAGuy]

I don't really understand the controversy that this is bringing out.
Different strokes for different folks, is my opinion.

Ok take for example, a wife or girlfriend that is sexually adventurous ( in my mind) is much much more attractive than a conservative woman.

Look guys and gals, your significant other may be the one that caught your heart and soul, but aswe all know, we as people have fantasies, about this girl or that guy, that we are so affraid to tell that special person in our lives. Well I did find the woman that I can absolutely tell anything to. When we discussed swinging, did she have a disgusted, furious look on her face? Hell no, she had that naughty grin and naughty laugh that I have grown very fond of.

So I believe the question was, is this wrong? As a poster above somewhere, it is only wrong if it is done outside the agreements of the you and your SO. As for alpha male stereo type.

I know a couple , where the guy is a very large muscular , intimidating man, but loves to watch his wife fuck! And yes he likes to go down on her during and after! Is he a beta male? I think not, and I dare you to disrespect him , his fitness instructor wife, friends or family, because you will end up in the hospital! I have only seen him angry once, and I was so very glad he wasn't mad at me!

his wife is hot, and an absolutely awesome lay, my SO, who is just as hot, has said the same thing about him.

Since we have started this little journey, her and I both started dressing better, eating better, and paying attention to our bodies. We talk a lot more as well.

 

[localsub1]

Yes you are right in saying, sort of, how in the hell does a man desire to see his wife having sex with anither man. Moreover, a lot of women get confused if their husbands want to offer them to other men. In general, there are 4 reasons why men have the wife-sharing fantasy. The reason may be obvious to some, but for most of men it lies deep in the subconscious.

What are the 4 reasons?

 

[parachutemind]

HAHAHAHA, I appreciate the thought lol. Its up to the woman, if it was up to us men it would be chaos lol.