For those of you into BDSM, how did you start?

[vintage63]

Add me to the list of Online Roleplay.

 

[laceNlthrgrrl]

It all started with a blowjob...

I was teasing my BF, going nice and slow. He was home from college and I wanted to show him how much I'd missed him. He got a little impatient, grabbed my hair and totally took over. I was so turned on by the whole thing. At first he thought I was upset. It took me a while to explain what I was feeling, but he got the point. From there we experimented with some bondage and spanking, and a pain slut was born.

 

[redhead84]

I have always known I liked being controlled, dominated, desired. My daydreams were filled with fantasies along those lines for as long as I can remember. But I always thought they were sick daydreams that shouldn't/couldn't be a part of my life.

Then when I was in college, I started reading Anne Rice's vampire books. Which eventually led me to other books my Anne Rice writing under her other names. I picked up Exit to Eden (Rampling) and was hooked, amazed, aroused, comforted. I was not alone in my daydreams! In the beginning of that book, the main character is reading through book titles and mentions The Story of O .... so then I read that book. Wow ... submission and pain and service .... I wanted it all so badly.

This is me exactly!

 

[acrossthemiles]

I'm sure this question has been asked in multiple threads before, but I'm new here so the varied responses to this have been very interesting. I am pretty new to the whole BDSM thing, though I've certainly had submissive traits for the majority of my sex life. I suppose the first real "sign" of things to come was when my college boyfriend and I used to drunkenly mess around with tying me (haphazardly, lol) to the bedposts with sheets or clothes, haha. All very innocent stuff...

Then much later, about a year ago, after a three-year relationship ended and I started really coming into my own, sexually (I'm in my late twenties) I started being more turned on by and encouraging acts of domination with my partners...spanking, some roughness with being held down, controlling words and commands...but still generally on the vanilla side of things.

After a little bit I discovered that, under the right circumstances and in the heat of the moment, I quite like being slapped in the face...that was sort of a turning point, when I realized that there was more to this than I thought...

Then I met my current partner - a very attractive, charismatic and naturally dominant individual with whom I share a great deal of sexual and personal chemistry - and through him I am finally exploring "real" submission, finding it incredibly exhilarating and exciting. I have an extremely high pain threshold and we both enjoy seeing how far he can push my limits...we've only started to work our way into things, he's slapped me around a bit, used the belt on me, whipped me lightly and (for the first time ever in my life) tied me up...the latter being thoroughly enjoyable for both parties, haha...I never really figured I would ever be as "into" it as I am with him, although arguably we're still pretty vanilla...I'm just looking forward to exploring and experimenting more with him and it's been very satisfying to have a partner who's actually willing to "go there" with me. I feel like I can express a side of me that I haven't been able to with anyone else before. It's great.

 

[Hamnder20]

Not sure yet tell you when it happens.

 

[MadaamMeg]

My root.

I am a super shy and meek women. I have been walked on for years since I can ever remember. Within the last couple years I started embracing my dominant tendencies it was always there I can just put a name to it now. Maybe you can call it a need for revenge, but everything feels right with the world when someone is tied up at my feet looking up.

 

[Chaingun]

I'm not into BDSM. I'm just here for the gum.

Dammit, how did I miss the gum? Nobody offered me any. None at all.

What do I look like? Some meek submissive that will be happy with what he gets?

Dammit, where is my fucking gum!!!

I am a super shy and meek women. I have been walked on for years since I can ever remember. Within the last couple years I started embracing my dominant tendencies it was always there I can just put a name to it now. Maybe you can call it a need for revenge, but everything feels right with the world when someone is tied up at my feet looking up.

Good for you. Revenge for all that you endured may be all the motivation that you need. Glad you're naming it and owning it.

 

[shewantsmore]

i got hooked by my first serious boyfriend,i was in my teens and he was nearly 20 years older than me.He enjoyed handcuffs and light bondage to spanking.It was all new to me but i found i enjoyed it and pain was quite a turn on which really surprised me no end

 

[DVS]

Dammit, how did I miss the gum? Nobody offered me any. None at all.

What do I look like? Some meek submissive that will be happy with what he gets?

Dammit, where is my fucking gum!!!

Sorry. I didn't know I was suppose to share.

I've got some nice ABC gum, though, if you want it.

 

[CuteBrat]

I've always had bondage and non-con fantasies as far back as I can remember. Back then they involved pirates who stripped me and tied me to the mast. I was young, so I was a little fuzzy about what happened next...but I knew the whole thing made me tingly!

I think I've always been sexually submissive, I just didn't know the term. But it always just seemed normal and VERY exciting to do what guys told me. I thought I was just weird about some of it...until I found some sites on the internet... the rest is history...

 

[Kojote]

I'm curious: for those of you who are into bdsm, how did you get started? Was it a progression (e.g. light spanking, bondage, hardcore bondage, etc...) or was it something you were really into right away? Did BDSM turn you on right away after you discovered it, or was it more of an acquired taste?

I got into it through Lit stories...
I was well aware of the whole scene. Due to my job some people from it are customers to me.
But everything I heard and read about it didn’t feel quite right. In parts fascinating, but also often repulsing.
But once I started reading English erotic fiction in addition to german stories I found some rare examples that did fit. And I gave it another thought.
Then some kind of crisis hit my long time relationship and after weathering this particular storm in which a person from Lit was involved, we sorted our things out and decided to give some kinks a deliberate try.

The rest of this story has yet to be written. But it’s working out nicely…

 

[jdsgirl]

This is a timely topic for me to read about and discuss, as I am "in the shallow end of the pool," as a previous poster said. When I look back to childhood, I clearly remember my best friend and I pretending we were lost at sea and then rescued by men who made us have sex with them in exchange for being allowed to stay aboard their ship. So, yes, the kink was there early on.
Flash forward to age 19, when I entered an unhealthy relationship that has now lasted 18 years. Oddly enough, having an emotionally and verbally abusive, controlling, narcissistic husband was NOT the right match for me, a naturally submissive woman. So, vanilla sex and general unhappiness, leading me to the decision to end the marriage.
Enter JD, my first lover from 19 years ago, with whom I reconnected last year. I've learned much in the past year, and I believe the key to freedom as a submissive woman is TRUST. There was no way I could submit to my husband, who clearly was not mature or in control of himself. JD, however, knows exactly how to lead and I trust him absolutely. During all this, I came to acknowledge my submissive nature and see it as the good quality that it is. It doesn't mean being a doormat. It means that I want to be led with love and I finally have the freedom to just be me. In the bedroom, the perfect match is evident - he is naturally dominant, and I have had the pleasure of being teased, blindfolded, spanked, bitten, pinned, and taken with force. It's amazing! For me, it's not a bedroom game that I play. I am lucky to be a truly submissive woman with a naturally dominant partner.

 

[NgxOutjie]

Way back when...

This is a timely topic for me to read about and discuss, as I am "in the shallow end of the pool," as a previous poster said. When I look back to childhood, I clearly remember my best friend and I pretending we were lost at sea and then rescued by men who made us have sex with them in exchange for being allowed to stay aboard their ship. So, yes, the kink was there early on.
Flash forward to age 19, when I entered an unhealthy relationship that has now lasted 18 years. Oddly enough, having an emotionally and verbally abusive, controlling, narcissistic husband was NOT the right match for me, a naturally submissive woman. So, vanilla sex and general unhappiness, leading me to the decision to end the marriage.
Enter JD, my first lover from 19 years ago, with whom I reconnected last year. I've learned much in the past year, and I believe the key to freedom as a submissive woman is TRUST. There was no way I could submit to my husband, who clearly was not mature or in control of himself. JD, however, knows exactly how to lead and I trust him absolutely. During all this, I came to acknowledge my submissive nature and see it as the good quality that it is. It doesn't mean being a doormat. It means that I want to be led with love and I finally have the freedom to just be me. In the bedroom, the perfect match is evident - he is naturally dominant, and I have had the pleasure of being teased, blindfolded, spanked, bitten, pinned, and taken with force. It's amazing! For me, it's not a bedroom game that I play. I am lucky to be a truly submissive woman with a naturally dominant partner.

It started with a girl. We dated for a few years. Unbeknownst to me she was a submissive and being 17, horny and only interested in cumming I didn't pick up on her sub side. So she took initiative and started showing me what she liked and how she wants to be treated. She also gave me a copy of 'The story of O' (the book, no the porm movies) which was the real eye opener. Since then I've learnt by joining the BDSM community, reading and researching about every fetish I've come across and by experimenting and lots of introspection. Developing my own philosopies for how BDSM works for me and how it fits in with the general 'rules of the game'. 10 years later and I'm still learning new things every day.

 

[desertslave]

I met my first Dom in college. I'd had vague ideas before that (thinking back, I loved getting tied to trees & such when playing Cowboys & Indians and stuff like that as a kid), but nothing was ever all that clear to me. College was a great education, despite those boring classes!

I started writing some stories about it a few years ago (I think there's still a link down there). One of these days I'll add some more.

 

[SadandMas4U]

Lifetime BDSM Thoughts*

For as long as I can remember, I have been engaged in some sort of thought on this subject. Remembering as a younger neighbor and I would play Boss/employee or Principal/teacher games in her parents house when it was raining. We were about 8-9 years old and both took our parts very seriously. We both shared a Dominant&submissive nature very early in our lives. She moved out of our neighborhood and I often wonder if she still had her submissive tendencies. Since that early childhood experience the mention of spanking, bondage, or anything relative still engages me. I have been in and out of relationships with this curiosity of ours most of my life.

 

[EastCoastCanuck]

My first thoughts that I remember were of watching a comedy sketch with John Candy. 3 airline hostess had car trouble so went knocking at his door. He gave them a potion that made them mindless maids. It was not sexual and quite funny, but gave me fantasies. So, I explored online and discovered the world.

After that, I always had some D/s in my relationships. From mild spanking and ropes, added to making the decisions. In university, started meeting girls who were serious into the lifestyle, or open to exploration.

 

[trueredhead]

I really didn't know it thrilled me until I was at a movie with one of my guy friends in high school (can't for the life of me rememeber what we saw)... and in that movie a man shoved a woman into a wall and takes her from behind, pinning her hands above her head and roughly demanded she stay quiet. I definitely started squirming in my seat as my friend is beside me laughing. If only I knew what he had in store for me that night after he saw I had that reaction.... needless to say it was a Great night

 

[realcitykid]

I really didn't know it thrilled me until I was at a movie with one of my guy friends in high school (can't for the life of me rememeber what we saw)... and in that movie a man shoved a woman into a wall and takes her from behind, pinning her hands above her head and roughly demanded she stay quiet. I definitely started squirming in my seat as my friend is beside me laughing. If only I knew what he had in store for me that night after he saw I had that reaction.... needless to say it was a Great night

I'd love to know more details about that night. Do you kiss and tell? Or get fucked up against a wall and tell?

 

[audiodiva]

Previous answer

I recorded this following a similar question in the audio thread. Sorry for the odd background noise in the beginning. Was having mic issues at the time.

http://audioboo.fm/boos/357454-pondering-my-first-experience-with-pain-arousal

While early on I played with spankings and slightly "rough sex", as mentioned in the audio and, as others have noted my childhood play often had elements of B&D. It wasn't until my first BDSM party that I really got to experience it.

I had read all the books (Screw the roses, The bottoming book, SM 101 etc...), I found a private venue about an hour and a half drive from where I lived and called the owner of the home. I talked at length to him about my interests and lack of RL experience with the scene and he reassured me that he would make sure I had a great time and that I was welcome to just watch and that I wouldn't feel pressured to play with anyone.
When I arrived he immediately introduced me to a female Sub who proceeded to introduce me to everyone and encouraged me to watch, but also to try things out as I felt comfortable. IT WAS AMAZINGLY LIBERATING - to meet like-minded individuals, comfortable with themselves and one another and then to be flogged for the first time.

Aahhhh memories

 

[Literotti]

I first had a fantasy of being spanked, beginning around 6 or 7 years of age. I can't really say what prompted it, but it may have been something akin to childhood abuse by parents who were overzealous disciplinarians, and did not know how to cope with a very headstrong child.

Back then (the 1950s), it was probably considered very normal to spank a child, where today, a similar punishment would no doubt be considered a criminal offense.

The same punishment was repeated by a female elementary school principal who terrorized and threatened me prior to the spanking. It was done in the privacy of her office, and I am certain that she relished it. She probably spanked many other difficult students along the course of her career.

I really did not know what BDSM was about until my late teens, and then it was only a secret interest that I did not share with anyone until my early twenties. It was during that time that I finally had an interest in sharing my fantasy with women. Other than that, I had many vanilla relationships in which the subject never came up.

That said, I do not approve of corporal punishment administered to children (meaning anyone under the age of consent). I believe that it contributes to a great deal of confusion, not only during childhood, but later in life.

 

[SubCDinPHX]

For me, it was definitely a progression but it was introduced to me pretty rapidly. A girlfriend introduced me to it and i liked it right away. It started with spanking and servitude and led to pretty much wanting anything except blood and permanent damage. i still haven't experienced everything but i know enough to know that i'm at least curious to try.