For us to know and you to find out.

[CutieMouse]

Let me add this then...I understand how you are thinking this is an attack on them and maybe it is, but then again the thing is I don't really care how they view me and my belifes nor will I change them just to fit into an on-line thread. Now since they have felt the need to jump into each thread I have posted on and yes I have indeed checked, I will return the favor in a much more harsh way. Now to clear the idea of the OP I have done that and have gotten a few good postings that I was looking for. Wish it would have gone on more but with continued dumbass post from some I believe they have killed it. Hence I will be seeing about closing the thread. And btw I am 28 not 29.

Lit doesn't "close threads"; the original poster of the thread does not "own" the thread, nor can be or she dictate or control who responds (or how).

No one is asking you to conform for the sake of creating a rainbows and puppydogs thread; most respondents simply disagree with your views and/or how you phrased the OP.

A bit more back on topic - what specifically are your views of hard limits? Should a hard limit ever be challenged/pushed? If so could you give an example of a situation in which it would be benificial to do so?

 

[JMohegan]

Welcome to the board, Duncan.

You may be interested in the lively discussion on this thread:

When Is NO Really NO?

 

[Duncan1981]

Welcome to the board, Duncan.

You may be interested in the lively discussion on this thread:

When Is NO Really NO?

Thank you JMo for the welcome and that thread which is exactly what I was asking, just better worded.

Mouse my views this: Hard limits should only be pressed or broken only after trust is made on both parts and yes the after the matter "taking care of" will be done. Soft limits I personaly do not follow, and I make it very clear to those who come to me understand that from the get go.

 

[DVS]

I consider my way of dominating someone a certain style. With that style, I usually have pretty good luck at swaying someone's thoughts a certain way, sexually speaking. It has a lot to do with confidence, which is a major part of being a PYL. That is not arrogance.

Being influenced by the singular drive of conquest isn't a good trait in a PYL. Oh, there is a small amount of that drive in there. It isn't overpowering, but it's there. It's tempered by other traits like compassion, understanding and patience. And most of all is trust, which is a very volatile emotional bond between pyl and PYL. Break that bond of trust and you may never be able to build it back up.

Hard limits have doors that should never be opened. And there's a lock on that door that can sometimes be negotiated, but that's only with the pyl's explicit approval.

The doors on soft limits have no lock, but there is still a door there. Some say taking a pyl through those doors is building on the trust and crossing those mental barriers helps the pyl to grow. It's a process in time...a progression. Part of that process is knowing when the time is right. It isn't a conquest for the PYL.

A PYL set on his own agenda can be a passionate draw for a pyl. Especially those new to the scene. Add a new PYL who doesn't yet understand the complexities of the PYL/pyl relationship and you're playing with fire.

 

[CutieMouse]

Thank you JMo for the welcome and that thread which is exactly what I was asking, just better worded.

Mouse my views this: Hard limits should only be pressed or broken only after trust is made on both parts and yes the after the matter "taking care of" will be done. Soft limits I personaly do not follow, and I make it very clear to those who come to me understand that from the get go.

Much better explication of your views on the subject; thank you.

Personally, I dislike the concept of "limits", preferring the concept of "compatibility". If I do a thorough enough job in finding a compatible lover, why on earth would I withold from him?

 

[neci]

Much better explication of your views on the subject; thank you.

Personally, I dislike the concept of "limits", preferring the concept of "compatibility". If I do a thorough enough job in finding a compatible lover, why on earth would I withold from him?

this.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Much better explication of your views on the subject; thank you.

Personally, I dislike the concept of "limits", preferring the concept of "compatibility". If I do a thorough enough job in finding a compatible lover, why on earth would I withold from him?

the thing is 100% compatibility is impossible. there will always be areas where your desires or emotional boundaries differ. even as a slave with no right to limits of my own, i can much easier understand those submissives who set firm limits for themselves then those who decide to have none because they have this monumental amount of trust and perfect compatibility with their Dominant.

 

[MasterAnimus]

I think it is better of an artform for a master to let the sub discover her limits, and have her cross it herself - and further her trust in you, than you do it and lose all the trust you have established, and perhaps be hurt at the end.

 

[MasterAnimus]

Much better explication of your views on the subject; thank you.

Personally, I dislike the concept of "limits", preferring the concept of "compatibility". If I do a thorough enough job in finding a compatible lover, why on earth would I withold from him?

Very much agree on this - asking someone for limits is like asking what cuisine people prefer - you get limited answers. But if one explores cuisines together, you are more likely to find new likes, and ergo.. new limits.

 

[Annamichele]

I'm reading this post and cannot believe the amount of pumped up ego's flowing wildly here! The SIMPLE QUESTION that Duncan1981 was asking was how, when pushing a sub past her/their limits does it make you FEEL??? There is no reply to be found in here about that question. Instead it opens up to a discussion of the why's and why nots. No one answers the actual question, which I find perfectly easy to follow! But then what do I know...I'm just a blonde

And.....I do personally know how my master feels...pleased!