Fun with Limericks

[westcoastjohn]

two limericks about poor Mary

There once was a pretty girl called Mary,
Who always appeared quite scary,
You acted as a spy,
To try and find out why,
And found she was a man and incredibly hairy.


Here once was a dirty girl called Mary,
Who made all the boys very wary,
You wondered why,
So you gave her a try,
And found she had crabs and was terribly hairy.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

A lovely young lady from Nizes
Had breasts of two different sizes.
One was so small,
It was nothing at all,
But the other was large and won prizes.

A woman we know, name of Cat,
Had triplets called Nat, Pat, and Tat.
They were fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
When she found there was no tit for Tat.

She wasn't what one would call pretty,
So other girls offered her pity,
And none of them guessed
That her Wasserman test
Involved half the men in the city.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

In Tulsa the men chase MsLoveLee,
For her skirt hems are always above-knee.
When she sits, they rise higher,
And lust she'll inspire,
So the men shout "MsLoveLee, we love thee!"

 

[quimsical]

There was once a Greek Goddess dubbed Eris
Who had such a lovely mons veneris,
That they'd come from far and wide to stare
At the Goddess, who'd go who knows where
And then all would say, *sigh she's not there, but air is.

 

[westcoastjohn]

Ella's fella

There once was a deluded girl named Ella
Whose favourite colour was definitely yella
She search for her beau
But was terribly low
When she found Homer Simpson was her ideal fella.

 

[MsLoveLee]

OMGosh! You all are awesomeness!!!!

Thanks so much for posting they're lovely!!

 

[MsLoveLee]

In Tulsa the men chase MsLoveLee,
For her skirt hems are always above-knee.
When she sits, they rise higher,
And lust she'll inspire,
So the men shout "MsLoveLee, we love thee!"

Oh you lovely, lovely man. (I'm assuming you're a man, I could be wrong). Thank you so much for the tribute!

(I'm not sure how your name is pronounced but for my limerick I used "Nair a tory")


You're "the man", Mr. Tio Narratore
Who's sexploits cause many a story
You sup and you lay
Any female who'll play
So natch, we applaud and adore thee.

 

[westcoastjohn]

Bob

There once was a naughty boy named Bob
Who loved nothing more than to play with his nob,
He rubbed every day
Oh, how he loved to play
Until it fell off after a vigorous hand job.

 

[westcoastjohn]

Sue

There once was a pretty girl named Sue
Who could not stop going to the loo
She could never get a boy
Had to use her big black toy
'Cause every time she fucked she did a big poo.


Please never accuse me of being tasteful

 

[MsLoveLee]

There once was a pretty girl named Sue
Who could not stop going to the loo
She could never get a boy
Had to use her big black toy
'Cause every time she fucked she did a big poo.


Please never accuse me of being tasteful

Oh I won't. lol

Very cute!

 

[MsLoveLee]

There once was a naughty boy named Bob
Who loved nothing more than to play with his nob,
He rubbed every day
Oh, how he loved to play
Until it fell off after a vigorous hand job.

Oh my poor Bob!

 

[MsLoveLee]

Remembered Member

Though, I'm missing my pussy pounder
Thick, yes, a perfect rounder
Pounding hard and fast
Yet making it last
Took my money, the rotten bounder!

 

[bronzeage]

There was an old hillbilly named Hollis
who used possums and snakes for his solace.
His children had scales
and prehensile tails
and voted for Governor Wallace.

 

[bronzeage]

The was a fellow named Lodge,
who abused the seat belts in his Dodge.
When his date was strapped in,
he committed a sin
before they left the garage.

 

[AubreyWatt]

In erotic books with themes didactic
Schoolgirl lessons prove ever climactic-
Such teasing young flirts
Lift their plaid pleated skirts,
Pockets filled with contents prophylactic.

 

[westcoastjohn]

Roy and Claire

Ther once was a man called Roy,
Who really was a useless boy,
Every time he fucked Claire,
He got cum in her hair,
So she preferred to to play with her toy.