Glosa-Rubaïyat Challenge

[BooMerengue]

Why has nobody commented?


Oh gee, I just thought mine was as perfect as Alex's and everyone was spellbound and stunned into silence.



Besides, you didn't just tell me I could do it, you beat me into submission until I really did do it! I think there's a subtle difference honey. And I bet yours is everything except meagre. Post it! I want to see.

I only have 2 verses so far... that's meager!

 

[wildsweetone]

I only have 2 verses so far... that's meager!

Come on Boo, you can do it. You're half way there.

 

[Syndra Lynn]

I've decided what to do.

I'll post mine here and ask

Please workshop. I think I've got the form correct, let me know if I haven't.





Mote
I

Wake! For the Sun, who scatter’d into flight
The Stars before him from the Field of Night,
Drives Night along with them from Heav’n, and strikes
The Sultan’s Turret with a Shaft of Light.



Glosa

Sleep through the night as dark unfurls the day
Whilst evening whispers, gems and white pearls stray
Wake! For the Sun, who scatter’d into flight
All diamond dreams so we could come to play.

Scattered afar with evening sounds retained
Night owls call through the hours that now remain
The Stars before him from the Field of Night,
Dim as the day breaks, leaving dawn tear-stained.

Each night the moon wades through a blackened sky
Devouring dreams, a rampant rape denied
Drives Night along with them from Heav’n and strikes
The Wrath of God that none dare to deny.

As thunder pounds and chaos turns to ploy
Amidst the storm a soldier would destroy
The Sultan’s Turret with a shaft of Light
That glimpse of flame, a golden rod of joy.

What wonderful poetry!!!!!

I have not forgotten this challenge, I'm onlu challenged to find the time to do it.

Is there a date to turn these in? Or are we just posting here as we can?

Syn

 

[Remec]

Finally...*g*

I was going through unfinished pieces of this and that looking for inspiration for this write-a-poem-a-day thing in another thread, and I found this. Not sure what pulled me away from it for so long, perhaps I finally realized how daunting this was. <smile>

Anyways...here we go.

************​

XXXII
There was the Door to which I found no Key;
There was the Veil through which I might not see:
Some little talk awhile of Me and Thee
There was--and then no more of Thee and Me

Once I was lost, bereft of friend and foe,
Walking a Road whose end I did not know,
There was the Door to which I found no Key,
Through which, it seemed, I would be forced to go;

The Land lay hidden, off the beaten track
Of an oft-walked Path, whose map I did lack
There was the Veil through which I might not see:
From which, once pierced, there was no turning back;

I saw there were legions of us, all told,
We spoke among ourselves, sharing the Load,
Some little talk awhile of Me and Thee,
Before moving onwards along the Road;

Slowly we walked, towards Our journey's End,
Speaking fell off, silence--ever our Friend--
There was--and then no more of Thee and Me,
But plenty to be said later of We.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Remec, this has some very good details. I loved the way how - even though keeping all the original lines, your glosa managed to subvert the theme and how it plays out in the end.

And it was ready well before Christmas!

 

[BooMerengue]

At the request of BooMerengue, a two-part challenge:

I am so embarrassed. Well, as embarassed as I ever get! I should have been the first to respond; instead I am the last. Anyway, here's my entry, finally, thanks to WSO and her November Poems thread.

I'd like to do another of these but not from the Rubaiyat. I love reading it, but I don't like writing it. As you can see, it's not my forte...

Mote

Rubai XXXIII

Earth could not answer; nor the Seas that mourn
In flowing Purple, of their Lord forlorn;
Nor rolling Heaven, with all his Signs reveal'd
And hidden by the sleeve of Night and Morn.​

Glosa

The stars went dim; Moon turned her face away
as all of Heaven's light began to wane
Earth could not answer; nor the Seas that mourn
The question hung unbalanced as the day

unfolded warped and dark as Saturns eyes
while tears of rain bled thickly from the sky
In flowing Purple, of their Lord forlorn;
and carved a murderous path down mountain side.

The answer hung as nothing in the air
Sad Gaia's eyes were shrouded in despair
Nor rolling Heaven, with all his Signs reveal'd
Lord Saturn turned away; he would not dare

She would not make the choice to be a star
Her burden was too precious then, by far
And hidden by the sleeve of Night and Morn
He turned and gazed at heaven from afar.​

As usual, I would relish comment on this. I have my apron on, so bring on the tomatos!

Sorry for taking so long, Lauren.