Penelope Street
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 28, 2004
- Posts
- 1,471
Neonlyte,
I read the beginning of Ob's story and generated my response before reading any of the other reviewers' comments. After then perusing a few of the other far more extensive replies, I'm not sure I've anything new to offer, but I guess that's for you do decide.
Author's Questions:
1. Can you start a novel with thirty pages of dialogue?
Yes, you can. The real question is 'Should you?'
My hunch is you shouldn't make it quite that long if you plan to transition to a more traditional approach later.
2. Are the characters identifiable?
Easily.
3. Is it clear there are two sexes?
Yes.
4. Does it read 'true' within the context of a novel?
I'm afraid I'm not sure. I found the character interaction enthralling. I love dialogue and most of this reads true. I liked it best when the characters have a sharp exchange. Often Ob gets wordy when he goes into lecture mode. I know you had to present the information in some fashion, but it's still dry. I cared less for the intrigue involving the research and all that mystery stuff. While believable, the technical jazz is, for me, an uninteresting subplot. I could have been content if Ob had a normal brain and the story was just about the relationship between the two primary characters. In spite of my minor opinion regarding the techno subplot, I truly enjoyed the exchanges between Ob and his therapist and do look forward to more.
Take Care,
Penny
I read the beginning of Ob's story and generated my response before reading any of the other reviewers' comments. After then perusing a few of the other far more extensive replies, I'm not sure I've anything new to offer, but I guess that's for you do decide.
Author's Questions:
1. Can you start a novel with thirty pages of dialogue?
Yes, you can. The real question is 'Should you?'
My hunch is you shouldn't make it quite that long if you plan to transition to a more traditional approach later.
2. Are the characters identifiable?
Easily.
3. Is it clear there are two sexes?
Yes.
4. Does it read 'true' within the context of a novel?
I'm afraid I'm not sure. I found the character interaction enthralling. I love dialogue and most of this reads true. I liked it best when the characters have a sharp exchange. Often Ob gets wordy when he goes into lecture mode. I know you had to present the information in some fashion, but it's still dry. I cared less for the intrigue involving the research and all that mystery stuff. While believable, the technical jazz is, for me, an uninteresting subplot. I could have been content if Ob had a normal brain and the story was just about the relationship between the two primary characters. In spite of my minor opinion regarding the techno subplot, I truly enjoyed the exchanges between Ob and his therapist and do look forward to more.
Take Care,
Penny