GUNFIGHT! (número seis - part deux)

[My Erotic Trail]

*shaking head*
Man...tough thing for a deadline...who am I PMing this to again? Lauren or you?

...are we PMing these or posting them?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

If you prefer to keep it anonymous to the judges, PM it to me. Might be more fun.

 

[My Erotic Trail]

If you prefer to keep it anonymous to the judges, PM it to me. Might be more fun.

I'm in... (sent)

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Time's up, and here are the entries:

***

Ode to the Poetry Shoot-Out

Black birds land on yielding rafters
awaiting an easy meal
mumbled words from an awaiting pastor
in hopes that God will hear

The scent of a challenge fills the air
the stables down wind
sparkling sunlight from a pistol's glare
let the duel begin

Peering eyes from corner walls
curious as a raccoon
watching and waiting for one to fall
Poetry at High Noon

Two shadows still as a blank page
silence from the mouth
facing each other's mental maze
Ode to the Poetry Shoot out

***

Ode to the Poetry Gunfight

One hears the call and knows it's time
to come answer with both rhythm and rhyme,
falling upon their knees
before the judges' decrees

Hoping that their poems be found
to have what it takes--to be sound
of premise and of thought
and make the duel well fought.

***

Judges, please send me your decision and any comments you have on each of the poems as soon as you can, preferably within 24 hours.

 

[tungtied2u]

Time's up, and here are the entries:

***

Ode to the Poetry Shoot-Out

Black birds land on yielding rafters
awaiting an easy meal
mumbled words from an awaiting pastor
in hopes that God will hear

The scent of a challenge fills the air
the stables down wind
sparkling sunlight from a pistol's glare
let the duel begin

Peering eyes from corner walls
curious as a raccoon
watching and waiting for one to fall
Poetry at High Noon

Two shadows still as a blank page
silence from the mouth
facing each other's mental maze
Ode to the Poetry Shoot out

***

Ode to the Poetry Gunfight

One hears the call and knows it's time
to come answer with both rhythm and rhyme,
falling upon their knees
before the judges' decrees

Hoping that their poems be found
to have what it takes--to be sound
of premise and of thought
and make the duel well fought.

***

Judges, please send me your decision and any comments you have on each of the poems as soon as you can, preferably within 24 hours.

Thanks to you both, Remec and MET,,,,now for the hard part...

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Two of the judges have already checked in, now we're only waiting for AChild's verdict.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Here is the verdict and judges' comments, however sparse:


Judge A:

This one [Ode to the Poetry Shoot-Out] definitely has my vote. It's a perfect length, has wonderful rhythm and the rhyming is very eloquently done. No forced "bullshit" words just in order to rhyme. Yep, I like it! ​

Judge B:

The 3 points Lauren set out were:

1) elaborate structure:
Neither poem had an especially elaborate structure.
In the Ode to the Poetry Shootout (Ode 1) every other line rhymed in each stanza.
In Ode to the Poetry Shootout (Ode 2), the lines rhymed as couplets in each stanza.
I see a draw on this point.

2) intellectual rather than emotional descriptions:
Both poems avoid being emotional.
Ode 1 is more descriptive in a sublective manner, whereas Ode 2 seems to be more about the calling and nbility of the duel.
Point to Ode 2.

3) musical aspect:
OK, so I sang them both, and while I could make both work, I found Ode 2 to have a more consistent sense of both rhythm and stronger rhyme.
Point to Ode 2

Winner on my count Ode to a Poetry Gunfight.
Well done to both contestants... a tough challenge and a tough time limit.​

Judge C:

My pick is "Ode to the Poetry Shoot-out", they set the scene I thought that Jimmy Stewart was going to come moseying through my bedroom. Nice rhyme too.​

So the winner of the 6th Poetry Gunfight Challenge, by a 2 to 1 jury decision, is Ode to the Poetry Shoot-out, by My Erotic Trail. Congratulations to both participants and all those involved!

 

[arienette]

Congratulations, MET.

 

[MinorMonster]

Well shot, poets.

Should I start taking measurments for the coffin now?

 

[tungtied2u]

Congratulations MET!

Remec. thanks for your participation. I enjoyed both of yours effort.

 

[tungtied2u]

Well shot, poets.

Should I start taking measurments for the coffin now?

Ain't it just like an undertaker,

Don't hear word one from him until there's money to be made.

 

[LeBroz]

.

Congrats Art.

And a well done to Remec, as well as to Lauren for overseeing the affair. And a thanks too, to our judges, TT2U, AChild, & arienette.

It's an affair I'd not do well in; as soon as the clock starts, my mind would stop ~ when I'm writing, I put more than enough pressure on me without handling a bloody clock!

.

 

[Remec]

Thanks to Lauren, all our judges, and my valiant opponent...gunned me down fair and square, but I'll be back another time...jus' gotta find me a sawbones to slap a patch on this hole in my gut...*smile*

 

[My Erotic Trail]

Thanks to Lauren, all our judges, and my valiant opponent...gunned me down fair and square, but I'll be back another time...jus' gotta find me a sawbones to slap a patch on this hole in my gut...*smile*

Bows to Remec (~_~)

I enjoyed the challenge,
thanks for your participation... amigo!

thanks judges, (~_~) and Lauren for orchestrating this Gunfight, I hope to see more. Thanks Tom for the shoot out resurrection. (~_~)

I admit I did not think I was going to finish this one, the challenge was a good one and had me stumped for about the first 40 minutes, then the poem just rolled out onto the page, just in time.

 

[arienette]

I want another one to take place, this was a lot of fun!

 

[champagne1982]

I want another one to take place, this was a lot of fun!

They are fun! I think I deleted all of my poems off the gunfight thread I took part in, either that or they're lost forever. Mods?

But all you need to do is either issue a challenge or put the call out there. Maybe, someone will be moseyin' in to gain the title of Deadeye Poet.