Guys thoughts : Toys

[suckonsimon]

You guys are 30 and 28 years old and he already is acting like this?I don't care how tired I was at 30 (which at 30 I was doing construction work and working my ass off in over 100 degree heat) I was still ready to tear it up after I got off work.As far as cheating by using a hairbrush handle.I would take you out and help you pick out toys you want and then make you put on a show for me.Sorry but if this is happening already you guys need help.

I get your drift, darksider, but as a guy on here past his 60th, let me tell you and all here: there is no inevitability about a guy "acting like this" because he is getting older. We need to be aiming for the reverse of that! Expertise born of experience, an ever more subtle understanding of women, and then wow the discovery that you can go on much longer without cumming if you choose to ... fit older guys - it's a well kept secret!

 

[Minxgal86]

Thanks for the feedback guys, I guess I shall be having a serious talk with him soon...

 

[silvertongu3]

Thanks for the feedback guys, I guess I shall be having a serious talk with him soon...

Good luck, hope it goes well for both of you.

 

[perrafuker]

havent you entertained the possibility of him cheating on you or being a closet bi-sexual for his conduct? specially, for the fact that he is too young to sound so uninterested,OP

or it could be the fact that he has a low testosterone /religious problem as well?as for you having your own toy, i can understand where his coming from on the issue.its tough for a man's pride that some mechanic thing is satisfying her more than me.you can still masturbate OP but cant you just use your hands or the shower stream for that LOL

 

[Minxgal86]

I did bring up the hairbrush today when we were alone. He said 'I don't know why but I don't like it.' I told him it would be like me being jealous of his hand when he jerks off. He shrugged at that. Idk.

Never considered him cheating. His other couple of relationships he had the girls always cheated on him, so im sure thats why he is the way he is. He works a lot of OT and hates his job.

 

[ffdan]

Not cheating

No way, not even close. If he can't wont meet your needs what are you supposed to do. I wouldn't wait for him, go buy yourself one. Why be denied self pleasure. One of my wifes friends was alot like you, husband worked alot and not enough sex. She mentioned a vibrator and he went ballistic. turns out he was cheating on her for years. Make yourself happy or you'll be resentful with pent up sexual frustration.

 

[literalwife]

You need a new husband even more than a new toy.

 

[MissCautious]

It's definitely not cheating. I think though you're seriously cheating yourself out of some fun solo times if you wait for him to get you one. Why not go get one yourself?
Mine gets used on a very regular basis and I'd be lost without it!!

 

[ffdan]

Miss

Your message box is full.

 

[bill4672]

My ex-wife was the same way. She saw any masturbation by me as "cheating." We weren't having sex, but I was not supposed to take care of myself either. That did not end well.

 

[perrafuker]

I did bring up the hairbrush today when we were alone. He said 'I don't know why but I don't like it.' I told him it would be like me being jealous of his hand when he jerks off. He shrugged at that. Idk.

Never considered him cheating. His other couple of relationships he had the girls always cheated on him, so im sure thats why he is the way he is. He works a lot of OT and hates his job.

i advice you to both go to counseling then,good luck!

 

[russelagain70]

I did bring up the hairbrush today when we were alone. He said 'I don't know why but I don't like it.' I told him it would be like me being jealous of his hand when he jerks off. He shrugged at that. Idk.

Never considered him cheating. His other couple of relationships he had the girls always cheated on him, so im sure thats why he is the way he is. He works a lot of OT and hates his job.

Try to turn things around a little. Half way through the regular routine of having sex have him watch you masturbate or let him have a go at it. Try blindfolding him and take a little time masturbating him. Try to find some acceptable was to change the routine up.

 

[JackVettriano]

Let's be honest guys

Toys are bigger better and harder for longer and girls love them!

The thing that really gets me hard is making a girl feel good, really good and giving her the attention that she's never going to forget. Years ago I was very insecure about toys and I remember having a very demanding girl who just couldn't get enough my cock was red raw. So I decided to get her a real feel vibrating dildo, I walked past the shop about ten times before going in I was so scared to ask for it.

I had a bunch of flowers with me and I asked the assistant to help me pick the toy, well she did and then she said she wished she had a guy as thoughtful and I left with her number ;-)

Well that afternoon we had the ace to ourselves and I blindfolded her and we teased each other a lot, then we had a marathon session and that's when I got the toy out. She went wild and I got so hard fucking her with it. We fucked in every room and it was the best sex I have ever had, she loved sucking my cock while I ducks her with toy.
So I guess I'm trying to say get out and get a toy guys and don't look back, if it's a problem get over yourself it's your problem not hers.

 

[MrRandyWatson]

havent you entertained the possibility of him cheating on you or being a closet bi-sexual for his conduct? specially, for the fact that he is too young to sound so uninterested,OP

If he's really stressed, it's entirely possible. Also if he's insecure about his ability to perform.

As for me, I incorporate toys into time with my wife. If she doesn't get off, I take out a big toy and use it on her. It's kind of an ego boost for me, making sure she gets off. And if we don't have our favorite toy (a large vibrator,) we improvise. One time we were at a cabin on vacation and we forgot the vibrator. I used my electric toothbrush and got her off - wasn't as intense but it did the job.

 

[Minxgal86]

Things have been a bit better since we had our talk. By that I mean, we had sex and when I didn't cum, I burst into tears afterwards, and talked after that. He understands the way I feel, and feels like he's failing me as a husband because he just sometimes can't give me what I'm wanting. Since the hairbrush situation, his jealousy over it, he has been showing more interest in me. He's getting better at using his mouth and hands. Baby-steps I guess. I still don't always get a chance to cum, and there are still problems, but its just going to take some time getting in tune again with one another I think.

 

[suckonsimon]

Good next steps you've taken together! Hope there are more of them. You go well. xx

 

[CollarAndFeather]

I'd say most people (guys included) can get themselves off faster, easier, & more reliably than their partner(s) can make them cum. It makes sense, really, since you're probably more familiar with your body & what feels good than they do (you're living in it every day, afterall) Add to that how women are usually harder to get off than guys (& some than other women) and it only makes sense that it's difficult for him to do it, and -none- of that is his fault. It also can be corrected, since making you cum is a skill that you can teach him (afterall, you have more experience than him, naturally)

Teach him how you masturbate; where you touch, how fast/strong, and have him do the same for you ('cause, ya know, why not have fun with mutual masturbation while you're at it).

Side note though; trying to cum is a really 'good' way to be unable to. I wanted to cum for my last ex so much (because I knew they wanted to make me) that I became unable to. However, that didn't mean I didn't enjoy the sex we had a lot (because I did...hell, one of my best sexy experiences alone or not, I didn't cum but we had to stop since I was too sore from shaking right on the edge of orgasm for most of an hour!)

He also seems to feel that the dildo/handle is competition, which from a female perspective is slightly ridiculous. If it were just about size or physical stimulation, all men would be single with the toys out there, but thankfully that's not the main thing: the mind is. Maybe you could ease his discomfort by having him use a toy on you (so he starts seeing the toy as a tool either of you can use rather than a replacement)? Getting something non-phalic may help that or you could go the other direction: there are kits out there to make a dildo copy of your (or in this case, his) cock. That may be a bit less threatening for him.

If the problem persists, see if there are any professionals (as in therapists, not sex workers) that can help.

 

[Minxgal86]

Ha, yeah I hear ya. A few weeks ago we were watching The Walking Dead in our room, both under the covers when I just started touching myself out of the blue. He noticed, so I grabbed his hand and showed him how I liked to be touched down unda. It was pretty erotic - minus the zombie noises in the background.

He's coming along quite nicely... *rubs hands evily together*

Just taking things one sexual escapade at a time

 

[hilton1958]

My wife has a couple of toys, but I can't remember the last time we played with them together. I don't know if she uses them when I'm not around, but I like to think she does sometimes take time out to pleasure herself, and I certainly don't see it as cheating on me.

 

[RDRUMMER]

Ha, yeah I hear ya. A few weeks ago we were watching The Walking Dead in our room, both under the covers when I just started touching myself out of the blue. He noticed, so I grabbed his hand and showed him how I liked to be touched down unda. It was pretty erotic - minus the zombie noises in the background.

He's coming along quite nicely... *rubs hands evily together*

Just taking things one sexual escapade at a time

Sounds pretty hot to me

 

[SherlockianMan]

I can sort of relate to both sides of this. My wife has always been very much a self-help kind of person. If she needs to go, she goes with or without me. Early on in our marriage, this really bothered me. In part, it made me feel inadequate that I wasn't enough for her. I should mention that at this time I wasn't on Lit and really wasn't much for masturbation since I was getting the real thing fairly often. However I brought it up to her and we talked about it quite a bit. I came to understand that it wasn't about sex so much as scratching an itch. If she had that urge and I was at work, why shouldn't she scratch it? It also helped to realize how much more complex achieving an orgasm is for a woman compared to a guy. It's like rocket science compared to the simple stroke routine a guy an pull it off with. Anyway, since we talked about it years ago, I've been much more open about it and have purchased several more toys for her. She often lets me know when she has used them and from time to time, let me watch, which can add a new level of hotness to things.

Hope this helps.

 

[Minxgal86]

I'm all for getting some and let him use them on me, with me, or using them when I'm alone Like you said, just an itch that needs scratchin!

 

[tigerstorm07]

Minx, for myself the thought of my wife's pleasure has always been a turn on... not quite sure what his hang up may be... probably something from a past relationship or incident... I know it can be lonely and frustrating... hope things turn around for you...

 

[Curmudgeonly]

I couldn't for the life of me think of an appropriate title, but I need some feedback. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 4. Things have been a bit stressful over the last year whereas its putting a strain on our sex life. Most times he is either too tired from work or not in the mood (which I don't get - isn't every guy in the mood?!) My husband is 30 and I'm 28. I keep myself trimmed and clean so their should be no reason why sometimes he acts like its a chore to have sex.

Anyway, he is an overly sensitive drama queen at times, and makes me feel like a pretty mellow person. For the last several weeks when he is at work, and if I'm extremely frustrated, I will fuck myself with my hairbrush. I don't have any toys and have asked for one for Christmas, but it's unlikely I will get one.

The other night I forgot to clean my brush handle by the time he got home from work, and he put it all together. He said 'I'm cheating on him and it hurts his feelings.' I've talked with another buddy whom told me that my husband needs to get a grip and get me some toys.

Anyone been in a similar situation? Lol

What the ever-loving fuck?...how is that cheating?...does he wear a chastity belt, himself?...are you guys amish?

 

[Deleted member 1951166]

Good Luck on re-establishing your relationship.

It will take work and it should make you happy.