Happy Father's Day

[EroticOrogeny]

Aw thank you, yes, I feel too old to have that much ahead of me. Hopefully I live long enough to see one of them get married.

Hey, I will definitely check out our route, I think we go through SC. Maybe on the way back.... we will be taking our time more (as I will be solo, no V)

I have the same hope for my son. He's girl-shy, like his father was (may still be, but doesn't matter now - I've found the woman I need).

 

[bflagsst]

I have the same hope for my son. He's girl-shy, like his father was (may still be, but doesn't matter now - I've found the woman I need).

My parents thought I was gay for the first three years of high school cuz they didn't see me with a girl until I was a senior. Oh, the terror in their hearts. Here I was jacking off furiously in my room across the hall thinking of pretty much every female I came into contact with that day. My dad would be like "don'tchoo like girls? Are you gay? My buddy's kid is gay, he said he acts like you." Then again, my father was usually either drunk or highly buzzed during those weekly conversations. Now a days I'm not very nice to my father and don't let him have much of a part in my new family.

 

[greenmountaineer]

The poem below was submitted as "Whaddya Gonna Do?" a while back. For reasons I don't need to detail I changed it at that time from the original. In retrospect, it was a mistake. Thinking about my deceased father at this time of year gives me an opportunity to correct that.

Our Father

You swallowed the cottonmouth wonderbread
And late Sunday morning after mass thirsted
For Ebbets Field stout doubleheaders
Before your blue collar daybreak again.

There were always, however, pig latin cakewalks
On good Friday nights after Lent.
"Oh, what an assy-chay on this fair assy-lay
And Sister Mary so Honoré
Creeping into the Knights of Columbus.

"What about those '55 Yanks and Bums?
Jaysuz! Had to go to confession though;
Fill it up, Joe," who gets one for himself
And sits down with the best of the parish
To watch another Ed Sullivan Show.

My father came of age in the Great Depression and World War II. I'm a babyboomer myself. Back then, I don't think there was a lot of encouragement in American culture for fathers to show affection towards their children, although many certainly did. Instead, I think the unspoken norm was to be a decent provider so that bad things like a depression or another world war wouldn't happen. He was that provider, and today after a career in the criminal justice system where I have seen so many unintended consequences among children of absent and uncaring fathers, I am thankful.

 

[Angeline]

The poem below was submitted as "Whaddya Gonna Do?" a while back. For reasons I don't need to detail I changed it at that time from the original. In retrospect, it was a mistake. Thinking about my deceased father at this time of year gives me an opportunity to correct that.

Our Father

You swallowed the cottonmouth wonderbread
And late Sunday morning after mass thirsted
For Ebbets Field stout doubleheaders
Before your blue collar daybreak again.

There were always, however, pig latin cakewalks
On good Friday nights after Lent.
"Oh, what an assy-chay on this fair assy-lay
And Sister Mary so Honoré
Creeping into the Knights of Columbus.

"What about those '55 Yanks and Bums?
Jaysuz! Had to go to confession though;
Fill it up, Joe," who gets one for himself
And sits down with the best of the parish
To watch another Ed Sullivan Show.

My father came of age in the Great Depression and World War II. I'm a babyboomer myself. Back then, I don't think there was a lot of encouragement in American culture for fathers to show affection towards their children, although many certainly did. Instead, I think the unspoken norm was to be a decent provider so that bad things like a depression or another world war wouldn't happen. He was that provider, and today after a career in the criminal justice system where I have seen so many unintended consequences among children of absent and uncaring fathers, I am thankful.

I like it. It's very evocative, and I'm a baby boomer, too, so I get most of the references. It reminded me of that most wonderful baseball book about the Brooklyn Dodgers, The Boys of Summer by Roger Kahn.

 

[greenmountaineer]

Ps

Although timing is often everything, and we're 2 days beyond Father's Day, Robert Hayden's poem is one of my all time favorites any time of the year:

Those Winter Sundays

Sundays too my father got up early
And put his clothes on in the blueback cold,
then with cracked hands that ached
from labor in the weekday weather made
banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.

I'd wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.
When the rooms were warm, he'd call,
and slowly I would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house,

Speaking indifferently to him,
who had driven out the cold
and polished my good shoes as well.
What did I know, what did I know
of love's austere and lonely offices?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Middle stanza has got me scratching my head! oops not one above .... the first one

 

[greenmountaineer]

Middle stanza has got me scratching my head! oops not one above .... the first one

Hope this helps in re:

There were always, however, pig latin cakewalks
On good Friday nights after Lent.
"Oh, what an assy-chay on this fair assy-lay
And Sister Mary so Honoré
Creeping into the Knights of Columbus.

Cakewalks were shows that poor African Americans in the deep South used to put on at the plantations where they worked, both as slaves and later as tenant farmers. Alot of Catholic parishes replicated them as fundraisers in the fifties and early sixties, re-naming them minstrel shows, where men of the parish would paint their faces black and do song and comedy routines. This was discontinued because of the demeaning way it portrayed African Americans.

The quote is a pig latin quote from Eddie Cantor's song, "If You Knew Suzy." He also sang "Mammy" in a movie with a painted black face.

Unfortunately, this subtle deprecating entertainment was common place in post WW II America, and my father never thought to question. Neither did most Americans.

The reference to Knights of Columbus was a men's social club and building that almost every chapter owned where there was always a bar. I may have been a little too suggestive about the intentions of Sister Mary Honore; however, ribald humor, although not part of the minstral show, was very much part of the goings on at the Knights of Columbus.

 

[EroticOrogeny]

Hope this helps in re:

There were always, however, pig latin cakewalks
On good Friday nights after Lent.
"Oh, what an assy-chay on this fair assy-lay
And Sister Mary so Honoré
Creeping into the Knights of Columbus.

Cakewalks were shows that poor African Americans in the deep South used to put on at the plantations where they worked, both as slaves and later as tenant farmers. Alot of Catholic parishes replicated them as fundraisers in the fifties and early sixties, re-naming them minstrel shows, where men of the parish would paint their faces black and do song and comedy routines. This was discontinued because of the demeaning way it portrayed African Americans.

The quote is a pig latin quote from Eddie Cantor's song, "If You Knew Suzy." He also sang "Mammy" in a movie with a painted black face.

Unfortunately, this subtle deprecating entertainment was common place in post WW II America, and my father never thought to question. Neither did most Americans.

The reference to Knights of Columbus was a men's social club and building that almost every chapter owned where there was always a bar. I may have been a little too suggestive about the intentions of Sister Mary Honore; however, ribald humor, although not part of the minstral show, was very much part of the goings on at the Knights of Columbus.

All I remeber of the Knights of Columbus was when they would have a procession down the center aisle during Mass, with their feathers and all. My father was not a Knight nor a member of any similar men's organization. I went to Catholic grade school and in 7th grade I was a member of our school choral group (not a choir) and we sang Negro spirituals at a diocese contest. There was no disrespect there, just the music for its sake. This was the early 60's.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Hope this helps in re:

There were always, however, pig latin cakewalks
On good Friday nights after Lent.
"Oh, what an assy-chay on this fair assy-lay
And Sister Mary so Honoré
Creeping into the Knights of Columbus.

Cakewalks were shows that poor African Americans in the deep South used to put on at the plantations where they worked, both as slaves and later as tenant farmers. Alot of Catholic parishes replicated them as fundraisers in the fifties and early sixties, re-naming them minstrel shows, where men of the parish would paint their faces black and do song and comedy routines. This was discontinued because of the demeaning way it portrayed African Americans.

The quote is a pig latin quote from Eddie Cantor's song, "If You Knew Suzy." He also sang "Mammy" in a movie with a painted black face.

Unfortunately, this subtle deprecating entertainment was common place in post WW II America, and my father never thought to question. Neither did most Americans.

The reference to Knights of Columbus was a men's social club and building that almost every chapter owned where there was always a bar. I may have been a little too suggestive about the intentions of Sister Mary Honore; however, ribald humor, although not part of the minstral show, was very much part of the goings on at the Knights of Columbus.

There used to be a show over here in the 60's that was very popular called The Black and White Minstrel Show which was blacked up faces but I think there was less disrespect in that than encouraging children to have Gollywog dolls.

 

[greenmountaineer]

Early 60's

All I remeber of the Knights of Columbus was when they would have a procession down the center aisle during Mass, with their feathers and all. My father was not a Knight nor a member of any similar men's organization. I went to Catholic grade school and in 7th grade I was a member of our school choral group (not a choir) and we sang Negro spirituals at a diocese contest. There was no disrespect there, just the music for its sake. This was the early 60's.

I finished my primary ed 1960. My wife, 9 years younger than I, went to parochial school after Vatican II, which I believe was around '63. She had a similar experience to what you describe. We both agree the mood was strikingly different. I still remember being taught a song by my 4th grade teacher with a term I don't want to mention for fear of offending a person of color who may be viewing these threads.

Another significant event was the civil rights movement in the 60's. In the Irish/Italian/Polish Catholic neighborhoods of northeastern New Jersey where I grew up disparaging comments about people of color were common, although those same parents, my father included, were aghast over the flagrant discrimination of the deep South, witnessed in televised news programs.

In my adopted state of Vermont as late as '62 a local Catholic high school did a "cakewalk competition" as a fundraiser whereby students would paint their faces black, dress in outrageous costumes, and engage in highly athletic dances. I've had conversations about it through the years with some clergy I know and they all agree it was discontinued in the mid sixties because of embarrassment over the stereotypes projected.

The Civil Rights Movement was a turning point in American history. It did many things and demonstrated that institutionalized racism in the dominant culture needed as much attention as the outrageous acts of violence by the KKK. My father, whose memory prompted me to post in this thread, admitted the same towards the end of his life.

 

[EroticOrogeny]

I finished my primary ed 1960. My wife, 9 years younger than I, went to parochial school after Vatican II, which I believe was around '63. She had a similar experience to what you describe. We both agree the mood was strikingly different. I still remember being taught a song by my 4th grade teacher with a term I don't want to mention for fear of offending a person of color who may be viewing these threads.

Another significant event was the civil rights movement in the 60's. In the Irish/Italian/Polish Catholic neighborhoods of northeastern New Jersey where I grew up disparaging comments about people of color were common, although those same parents, my father included, were aghast over the flagrant discrimination of the deep South, witnessed in televised news programs.

In my adopted state of Vermont as late as '62 a local Catholic high school did a "cakewalk competition" as a fundraiser whereby students would paint their faces black, dress in outrageous costumes, and engage in highly athletic dances. I've had conversations about it through the years with some clergy I know and they all agree it was discontinued in the mid sixties because of embarrassment over the stereotypes projected.

The Civil Rights Movement was a turning point in American history. It did many things and demonstrated that institutionalized racism in the dominant culture needed as much attention as the outrageous acts of violence by the KKK. My father, whose memory prompted me to post in this thread, admitted the same towards the end of his life.

I haven't heard the term 'institutional racism' for a long time, but that was a part of my growing awareness during my early college years in the late 60's (along with the anti-war movement).
And I understand how embedded attitudes can be in people. In '75 I worked on the Singer/Simpson campaign in Chicago (independent mayor/non-machine Democrat alderman) and Daley's hold over most was astounding. Singer lost, but we kept Simpson as our alderman.