satindesire
Queen of Geeks
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2005
- Posts
- 13,101
What did you do - send smoke signals???
Nooo, silly, they didn't have fire back then. Gaw!
hard to find a dom/sub?
- Thread starter Enygma55
- Start date
Nooo, silly, they didn't have fire back then. Gaw!
twysted73
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2007
- Posts
- 1,377
I'm enjoying those antique vibes you're sending there RR.
"Back when I was a kid......walking to school, up hill! 8 feet of snow! Both ways!"
*laughs to self*
But seriously..I can only imagine how hard it was to meet anyone then. *nods like a funeral director..jaw set, eyes closing momentarily as I do so...*
Internet certainly does have it's advantages.
Evil_Geoff
Equal Opportunity Sadist
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2005
- Posts
- 6,375
Some observations, not hard facts along with some conjecture, speculation and advice based on 10 years+ of realtime BDSM involvement and 11+ on the internet.
Observation #1 - in the real world, the absolute smallest group of kinksters, regardless of sexual orientation, demographically speaking is Dominant Women. This does NOT include Pro's which increase the number available but Pro's are, for the most part, not looking for partners or relationships, they are looking for $$$ paying clients.
Observation #2 - The next smallest demographic is Dominant Men. Our numbers though are still much larger than those of Dominant Women.
Observation #3 - Switches, regardless of gender, are more numerous than the strictly Dominant. Some switches hang more toward the D side, some more to the s side, but overall there are more who catch both sides of the flogger.
Observation #4 - Submissive women come next, though in the Pansexual/heterosexual scene they are the largest single demographic group.
Observation #5 - The absolute largest demographic in the BDSM/Leather scene are submissive men. They are slightly less numerous than submissive women in the pan/het scene but when you factor in the gay leather croud there are far more boys out there than Doms to run them.
Now... depending on who's stats you want to believe the ratio of Doms to subs overall can be anywhere from 1/5 to as bad as 1/20. Online we see a nearly 1/1 ratio. WTF? That means you can automatically write off anywhere from 80% to as many as 95% of the people claiming to be Dominants as posers, players, and HNG's who figure that claiming to be a dom will get them laid quicker.
For the male sub seeking a Female Dominant, boys, you have your work cut out for you. You have to COMPETE for her attention. You have to SHINE because the FemDoms get to select the cream of the crop. They do NOT have to settle. They have a target rich environment and unless you have skills, manners, looks, abilities that the Domme is looking for, you're pretty much SOL. And by skills and abilities I don't mean oral sex or how big your schlong is. You need to speak and write well, you need to be handy around the house, you need to be able to talk about HER favorite subjects, not Nascar, Football, or the latest hot stocks, unless those are her favorites.
Be polite, be chivalrous, be a gentleman. Get your face out there, go to munches, demos, dungeons, BDSM and Leather events. Study the one you are interested, and for Pete's sake, READ HER PROFILE! Know what she likes and dislikes, what she is looking for. Don't offer yourself for play or sex, offer yourself to SERVE. "Ma'am, is there any task I can assist you with?" is far more likely to get a positive response than "Please use me for your pleasure, Mistress!"
Now... get thee hence to your local group and start networking! To find local Munches, email groups, and events in your area, try:
SceneUSA - http://www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html
Caryl's Page - http://www.drkdesyre.com/
The BDSM Events Page - http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/ which has links to both organizations AND events.
SirPaul's National Munch Page - http://phoenixdragon.dreamknight87.com/nmp.htm
Observation #1 - in the real world, the absolute smallest group of kinksters, regardless of sexual orientation, demographically speaking is Dominant Women. This does NOT include Pro's which increase the number available but Pro's are, for the most part, not looking for partners or relationships, they are looking for $$$ paying clients.
Observation #2 - The next smallest demographic is Dominant Men. Our numbers though are still much larger than those of Dominant Women.
Observation #3 - Switches, regardless of gender, are more numerous than the strictly Dominant. Some switches hang more toward the D side, some more to the s side, but overall there are more who catch both sides of the flogger.
Observation #4 - Submissive women come next, though in the Pansexual/heterosexual scene they are the largest single demographic group.
Observation #5 - The absolute largest demographic in the BDSM/Leather scene are submissive men. They are slightly less numerous than submissive women in the pan/het scene but when you factor in the gay leather croud there are far more boys out there than Doms to run them.
Now... depending on who's stats you want to believe the ratio of Doms to subs overall can be anywhere from 1/5 to as bad as 1/20. Online we see a nearly 1/1 ratio. WTF? That means you can automatically write off anywhere from 80% to as many as 95% of the people claiming to be Dominants as posers, players, and HNG's who figure that claiming to be a dom will get them laid quicker.
For the male sub seeking a Female Dominant, boys, you have your work cut out for you. You have to COMPETE for her attention. You have to SHINE because the FemDoms get to select the cream of the crop. They do NOT have to settle. They have a target rich environment and unless you have skills, manners, looks, abilities that the Domme is looking for, you're pretty much SOL. And by skills and abilities I don't mean oral sex or how big your schlong is. You need to speak and write well, you need to be handy around the house, you need to be able to talk about HER favorite subjects, not Nascar, Football, or the latest hot stocks, unless those are her favorites.
Be polite, be chivalrous, be a gentleman. Get your face out there, go to munches, demos, dungeons, BDSM and Leather events. Study the one you are interested, and for Pete's sake, READ HER PROFILE! Know what she likes and dislikes, what she is looking for. Don't offer yourself for play or sex, offer yourself to SERVE. "Ma'am, is there any task I can assist you with?" is far more likely to get a positive response than "Please use me for your pleasure, Mistress!"
Now... get thee hence to your local group and start networking! To find local Munches, email groups, and events in your area, try:
SceneUSA - http://www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html
Caryl's Page - http://www.drkdesyre.com/
The BDSM Events Page - http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/ which has links to both organizations AND events.
SirPaul's National Munch Page - http://phoenixdragon.dreamknight87.com/nmp.htm
satindesire
Queen of Geeks
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2005
- Posts
- 13,101
Evil_Geoff
Equal Opportunity Sadist
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2005
- Posts
- 6,375
Freaking awesome Big G.
Count on you to speak up and show us where to go!
*flips his hand over and curls his index finger in the "come here" motion...* You say the sweetest things sd... let me show you my dungeon...
satindesire
Queen of Geeks
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2005
- Posts
- 13,101
*flips his hand over and curls his index finger in the "come here" motion...* You say the sweetest things sd... let me show you my dungeon...
*trots over* You know I always come when I'm fingered.
Ba dum pssh!
Evil_Geoff
Equal Opportunity Sadist
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2005
- Posts
- 6,375
Ahhhh... gorgeous gal, you tempt the single man you do indeed!
Tyr51
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2004
- Posts
- 211
"I met mine over Star Wars Galaxies...."
lol
What a coincidence! I met mine over LOTRO. ;-)
Simply finding a good friend and having that grow into something that pleases us both has been wonderful. I am very glad to have been able to get to know him and his personality without the usual pressure.
I'll be marrying him in March.
lol
What a coincidence! I met mine over LOTRO. ;-)
Simply finding a good friend and having that grow into something that pleases us both has been wonderful. I am very glad to have been able to get to know him and his personality without the usual pressure.
I'll be marrying him in March.
