Have you ever crossed a soft limit for a partner?

[timmyid2]

what is the difference between a limit and consent, then?
to me, they are synonymous.

In my limited experience, a soft limit is an agreement to avoid doing something. It's a soft limit simply because the sub can still agree to doing it anyway.

I am thrilled by the forbidden; violating limits is the very essence of a forbidden act. One of the ways that I play with my sub is to entice him to beg me to do things that are on his soft limit list. For instance I will tenderly play with him if he will submit to me using a belt across his nuts, hard. Or I'll withhold his favorite spanking position until he agrees to a series of slaps across the face.

We also have an agreement that violating soft limits are at my discretion. He can use his safeword to stop me, but that will end the session.

All the limits are back in place next time we play.

timmy

 

[IrisAlthea]

what is the difference between a limit and consent, then?
to me, they are synonymous.
in essence it is permission...either you consent to something, or don't...or have the consent on hold...which is the same as limits, is it not? you have hard limits (no consent), soft limits (consent is in a holding state) or you have no limits (full consent).

i am new to putting this stuff into practice, but have spent the last 25 years drowning in theory.

i am looking to understand how you, or anyone else, views limits and consent as different?

thanks, SpunThings.

The difference to me would be that limits are often talked about in this context as something that is pre-negotiated.

To me, the idea that I could make a list of limits that would hold true in every minute over the long haul and that everything that I don't put on that list should be ok at any time, because "hey, you didn't put it on the list".
We have had discussions here about this ages ago, where people said that they didn't put things on their list because some things should go without saying.
As you might guess, the discussions about what should go without saying were somewhat lively.

Personally, there are things where I think that if the only reason you are not bringing the topic up is because I put it on some list of hard limits, I'd rather prefer not to be in the same zip code area as you.

I also know that my limits will change over time and that they change depending on circumstances and other people involved.
Trying to have some one time discussion supposed to end in a laminated list or users manual wouldn't work for me. I don't want he possibility to consent or not consent to be a one time thing and that goes in both directions.

 

[DaddyAsh]

The difference to me would be that limits are often talked about in this context as something that is pre-negotiated.

To me, the idea that I could make a list of limits that would hold true in every minute over the long haul and that everything that I don't put on that list should be ok at any time, because "hey, you didn't put it on the list".
We have had discussions here about this ages ago, where people said that they didn't put things on their list because some things should go without saying.
As you might guess, the discussions about what should go without saying were somewhat lively.

Personally, there are things where I think that if the only reason you are not bringing the topic up is because I put it on some list of hard limits, I'd rather prefer not to be in the same zip code area as you.

I also know that my limits will change over time and that they change depending on circumstances and other people involved.
Trying to have some one time discussion supposed to end in a laminated list or users manual wouldn't work for me. I don't want he possibility to consent or not consent to be a one time thing and that goes in both directions.

Colors...... Comunication is key.

 

[UrbanBohemian]

No, definitely not. I'm not into any of that, to be honest. I've had a few experiences where I did things I didn't ever think I would do or think about doing though. I've mentioned this before but once a former girlfriend of mine was wearing fishnets and in the heat of passion asked me to suck her toes and since I'd pretty much do whatever she wanted at that point I just did it and didn't give a shit. They were clean so whatever. I also used to be a lot more, I guess you could say uptight, about cum than I am now. She (different person) wanted me to cum on her face and when I was younger I was just incredibly grossed out by that but she made it clear that she really wanted to try it so again I did it. It was actually pretty hot once I did it and saw the reality of it.

I don't know if those would be classed as soft limits but before they happened I never thought "I want to suck on someone's toes" or "I want to finish on someone's face."