Have you ever gotten too attached? I'd appreciate any advice..

[marieR19]

Some people can consiously make themselves stay at a good distance, not get so attached that it becomes a bad thing. Other people just can't. I'm definately the latter. Three out of four of my relationships have involved me becoming way too attached to the person, and two of those involved me wanting to commit suicide when we broke up. Very extreme example, yes, but thankfully most people don't fall that deep that they can't unattach themselves.

Marie

 

[shy slave]

Some people can consiously make themselves stay at a good distance, not get so attached that it becomes a bad thing. Other people just can't. I'm definately the latter. Three out of four of my relationships have involved me becoming way too attached to the person, and two of those involved me wanting to commit suicide when we broke up. Very extreme example, yes, but thankfully most people don't fall that deep that they can't unattach themselves.

Marie

It is very easy to become attached to another person and there are no easy answers.
You can get past the point of holding back and give yourself totally to that person.

Unfortunately many people do not appreciate what they are being given and ending up hurting the giver.

Marie your feelings of sucide when a relationship breaks up are terribly sad.

No matter how painful a break-up, giving up your life is a too high a price.
Many people benefit by your being here, and would feel things were lesser by your leaving.

Its easy to fill your days with thoughts and tasks aimed at pleasing the other person, but its important not to lose the person you are.

If (when) a break up occurs, for whatever reason, it is our friends and other activities that help us through each day until we can stand alone.

I wish you well Marie xx

 

[marieR19]

Thank you! You are very sweet, your words made me smile.

Marie

 

[Her sissy slave]

loss

i am sorry for your sorrow...no words help.

but this another reason why "i" stay platonic unattached uninvolved.

these things stay out of my life. i find just getting through day to day is enough drama for me personally. i am not going to add more.

i like it platonic. no one can touch me and hurt me.
i am a rock..i am an island..simon and garfunkel--60's

a sissy

 

[Seduce]

i am sorry for your sorrow...no words help.

but this another reason why "i" stay platonic unattached uninvolved.

these things stay out of my life. i find just getting through day to day is enough drama for me personally. i am not going to add more.

i like it platonic. no one can touch me and hurt me.
i am a rock..i am an island..simon and garfunkel--60's

a sissy

Every day drama may in fact be easier in two.
And the platonic relationships are not always that simple and can cause you pain and sorrow just like all other.
You can platonicly fall in love quite badly and that would indeed touch you and hurt you.
If nothing else remember Dante - although platonic to the core he wrote his Hell so good that one must feel he actually went through something similar.


And I disagree with you in your last statement...... my opinion is that none is an island, there are always interractions with other people in our life that can disturb us more than we want to.

 

[Her sissy slave]

islands

And I disagree with you in your last statement...... my opinion is that none is an island, there are always interractions with other people in our life that can disturb us more than we want to.
Seduce;
--------------------
and Ma'am? You are, of course, entitled to Your opinion.
myself, i am an island. i stay away from people as much as i can.
i am a born recluse. good or bad, it is what i am.
thank You m'Lady.

a slave

 

[AAkasha]

And I disagree with you in your last statement...... my opinion is that none is an island, there are always interractions with other people in our life that can disturb us more than we want to.
Seduce;
--------------------
and Ma'am? You are, of course, entitled to Your opinion.
myself, i am an island. i stay away from people as much as i can.
i am a born recluse. good or bad, it is what i am.
thank You m'Lady.

a slave

If that were true, your goal in life would not be to be in service to a woman -- something you obviously have been trying to accomplish for some time. You have a need to be *needed* and appreciated that consumes your soul -- more than sex, more than anything else.

If you were only an island who received a deep pleasure for serving, or cleaning, you could offer your services anonymously to the needy -- and never even need to be acknowledged.

Akasha

 

[Her sissy slave]

Akasha

If that were true, your goal in life would not be to be in service to a woman -- something you obviously have been trying to accomplish for some time. You have a need to be *needed* and appreciated that consumes your soul -- more than sex, more than anything else.

If you were only an island who received a deep pleasure for serving, or cleaning, you could offer your services anonymously to the needy -- and never even need to be acknowledged.

Akasha
__________________

ok..my last post on this..
i like/prefer, to be recluse. i stay in the house of my Ma'am. not going out in public. and i tend to myself. i have never ever asked any domme to do anything for me, because of me,..i take care of myself, so She has no extra worries. i am self contained. i do not need a wet nurse to take care of me and no domme should have to either.
i have taken care of myself since i was 14, left home at 16.
but enough of that.
i feel NO Domme should have-to-worry about Her boy. so i do fine. this way She can have a clean house, in order, and no worries. i fix my own meals, take care of my own health, etc etc etc.
and no sex, and so far no play with anyone. no involvement emotionally. if She throws me out like my ex wives did,..eh,,no hurt. there is always another somewhere else. "i" commit 150% but so far no female in my life ever has.

but hey.
this is just me. "i" have NOT yet found 1 female on this planet that wants to worry about me, anyway. not that any ever spoke up. and i wont discuss my 3 ex wives.

ok
enough said Ma'am.
i prefer to stay independant, and give my Ma'am NO cause for worries.
i am able to function w/o help. i'm a big boy of past 50, not 15. i can and have been left alone for days, unattended. i am no child. when She comes home, nothing is out of place, and all is in order. the house is safe and sound, and no cause for worries.


thank You for Your time.

a sissy

 

[Seduce]

ok..my last post on this..
i like/prefer, to be recluse. i stay in the house of my Ma'am. not going out in public. and i tend to myself. i have never ever asked any domme to do anything for me, because of me,..i take care of myself, so She has no extra worries. i am self contained. i do not need a wet nurse to take care of me and no domme should have to either.
i have taken care of myself since i was 14, left home at 16.
but enough of that.
i feel NO Domme should have-to-worry about Her boy. so i do fine. this way She can have a clean house, in order, and no worries. i fix my own meals, take care of my own health, etc etc etc.
and no sex, and so far no play with anyone. no involvement emotionally. if She throws me out like my ex wives did,..eh,,no hurt. there is always another somewhere else. "i" commit 150% but so far no female in my life ever has.

but hey.
this is just me. "i" have NOT yet found 1 female on this planet that wants to worry about me, anyway. not that any ever spoke up. and i wont discuss my 3 ex wives.

ok
enough said Ma'am.
i prefer to stay independant, and give my Ma'am NO cause for worries.
i am able to function w/o help. i'm a big boy of past 50, not 15. i can and have been left alone for days, unattended. i am no child. when She comes home, nothing is out of place, and all is in order. the house is safe and sound, and no cause for worries.


thank You for Your time.

a sissy

You are bit too much pointing to the fact of your independancy, and since you dont want to discuss any ex wives, I will just say that I am very much aware of how broken marriage/s affect a man - my husband had 2 before we met and believe me he is the toughest man I ever met...... enough said.

I will just try to help you once more with that quoting - instead of hitting replay at the end of the page, you have to click quote on the left side of the post you are quoting, and you will get that post quoted automatically, you just add your own text in replay window.
Maybe this will help:

 

[Andante]

I will just try to help you once more with that quoting - instead of hitting replay at the end of the page, you have to click quote on the left side of the post you are quoting, and you will get that post quoted automatically, you just add your own text in replay window.

Seduce,
I very much agree with you all the way through your dialogue with Her sissy slave, but I just can't resist pointing out that you mix up left and right. Maybe that's why your explanation seems to be just too complicated for Her sissy slave to grasp ....?

 

[Her sissy slave]

quotes?

i am trying to have a serious discussion and all you care about are silly quotes?

i hardly believe it is relevant...i do not see any message board police.

and maybe it isn't ya can't get through....maybe i am ignoring it and doing MY way as a free citizen? i am sometimes just bullheaded to strive a point..like now.

anywhoway.
so i take it you can't handle independance? just because i am not part of the sheep and conform i am wrong? not!
i have as much right to post as i see is needed....quotes are non relevant to human discussions of life...i try HARD to help in any way i can....if i use my thoughts of being independant may help someone...why not?
i feel there are too few people that are independant....but THAT is because of how "I" was taught......my elders AND my 1st Mistress. SHE claimed no sub/slave should EVER depend on any dominant 100%.

do whatever YOU wanna do in YOUR posts...i do not criticize YOU. i do not need someone jumping on me. my gawd .

have a good day, Ma'am..huh?


a slave of independance/mentally/emotionally and financially.

 

[AAkasha]

i am trying to have a serious discussion and all you care about are silly quotes?

i hardly believe it is relevant...i do not see any message board police.

and maybe it isn't ya can't get through....maybe i am ignoring it and doing MY way as a free citizen? i am sometimes just bullheaded to strive a point..like now.

anywhoway.
so i take it you can't handle independance? just because i am not part of the sheep and conform i am wrong? not!
i have as much right to post as i see is needed....quotes are non relevant to human discussions of life...i try HARD to help in any way i can....if i use my thoughts of being independant may help someone...why not?
i feel there are too few people that are independant....but THAT is because of how "I" was taught......my elders AND my 1st Mistress. SHE claimed no sub/slave should EVER depend on any dominant 100%.

do whatever YOU wanna do in YOUR posts...i do not criticize YOU. i do not need someone jumping on me. my gawd .

have a good day, Ma'am..huh?


a slave of independance/mentally/emotionally and financially.

Either your words mean so little to you that you don't care if it makes it impossible for people to read and so they ignore it --

Or, you can't figure out how to use the "quote" feature and insteade of being a gentleman about it, you throw a fit and get stubborn and arrogant and talk about how you do your things YOUR way.

Wow. Great qualities in a submissive. Like I said earlier, hate to see what happens when your actual femdom points out something you did incorrectly for her. Do you go into one of these "I am what I ams!" rant and force her to release you?

Akasha

 

[Her sissy slave]

rants

Either your words mean so little to you that you don't care if it makes it impossible for people to read and so they ignore it --

Or, you can't figure out how to use the "quote" feature and insteade of being a gentleman about it, you throw a fit and get stubborn and arrogant and talk about how you do your things YOUR way.

Wow. Great qualities in a submissive. Like I said earlier, hate to see what happens when your actual femdom points out something you did incorrectly for her. Do you go into one of these "I am what I ams!" rant and force her to release you?

Akasha

========
although YOU would like to think so...NO!
just because i do not kow tow every female that calls herself a Her...i am the bad guy? oh no!

i have different personnas.
1 for here,..my normal vanilla self..
1 for Her, and Her alone.
and i have 1 for each person i know...different people see different sides of me.
no two people see the same side.....

but i doubt YOU would understand OR grasp that.
and as to Your question?...what release? i went to a weekend meet...that is all.
spend two days out of my time/my gas/my money, and come home and wait for Her to figure out if She is going to sneeze or go blind. in all this time, this is the first time i have been asked to wait a week.
but that is ok. another one asking me if i will buy Her a house with my VA loan.
always one hiding somewhere with their hand out and purse open. this one i last seen is one more.......


have a great day, huh?

now can these kind people get back to messaging here? poor folks anyway. forced to listen to this gah gah...i feel bad for them.

 

[onceburned]

========
always one hiding somewhere with their hand out and purse open. this one i last seen is one more.......

But earlier this week weren't you head over heels committed to her? What has changed? Why are you looking upon her with such sourness?

 

[Her sissy slave]

attached?

But earlier this week weren't you head over heels committed to Her? What has changed? Why are you looking upon Her with such sourness?

well? i was yes,...but after thinking now for 4 days, about what transpired...i am re thinking strategy.
and i do not want to buy a house for someone else's wife, or some gal's hubby.

"I" buy a house it will be MINE, ya know?

it has taken me 4 days to think this through.

i am not going to invest that kinda money again. bad enough my 1st Mistress got $50,000.

a slave

 

[AAkasha]

well? i was yes,...but after thinking now for 4 days, about what transpired...i am re thinking strategy.
and i do not want to buy a house for someone else's wife, or some gal's hubby.

"I" buy a house it will be MINE, ya know?

it has taken me 4 days to think this through.

i am not going to invest that kinda money again. bad enough my 1st Mistress got $50,000.

a slave

Buying a house for someone you aren't even in a relationship with is very odd. That's generally something people discuss after being together for some time -- in person.

Akasha

 

[Seduce]

Seduce,
I very much agree with you all the way through your dialogue with Her sissy slave, but I just can't resist pointing out that you mix up left and right. Maybe that's why your explanation seems to be just too complicated for Her sissy slave to grasp ....?

Did I say left ?

My God so I did.

My humble apologies to Her sissy slave for confusing him even more on this issue

But he seems to get it, right? However offended of me pressing him with those unimportant little things he may be.
I am not going to say he is stubborn or arrogant (however I agree with AAkasha on every word she wrote) and I am not going to discus buying a house for someone.
I may get confused again and write something like "if you want to buy a house for someone elses wife, why not buy me one?" and that would not be a nice thing to say.
So I say nothing.

 

[chris9]

Did I say left ?

My God so I did.

My humble apologies to Her sissy slave for confusing him even more on this issue

But he seems to get it, right? However offended of me pressing him with those unimportant little things he may be.
I am not going to say he is stubborn or arrogant (however I agree with AAkasha on every word she wrote) and I am not going to discus buying a house for someone.
I may get confused again and write something like "if you want to buy a house for someone elses wife, why not buy me one?" and that would not be a nice thing to say.
So I say nothing.

I actually had to check with my 'watch hand' (=left) after Andante pointed out your mistake... I just never get the left/right thing. I actually got it confused 2 or 3 times during the test to get my driver's licence... Very embarrassing...
Now please tell me where you get those funny smiley-thingies that do some nifty action in the posts. I want them!!!

 

[chris9]

Elena, sorry for all this cat fight about someone you probably don't know and maybe don't even care for...
I hope you are feeling better, are over the worst moments and can start to look forward to your future
Please don't wander away from lit because to your thread happened what happens to many... (side-tracked).

 

[cndallas]

Looking back, when I'd been cautioned by others not to get too emotionally attached to words on a computer screen, I waved it off as being ridiculous. Now really, who could possibly fall in love online? In all the years I've had my "erotic penpals," I'd never had that problem, and my opinions stayed the same. But just recently, I've experienced what is probably one of the most painful downfalls of an online relationship.

I didn't exactly fall in love, but goodness.. I sure as hell fell into like with this man. I thought (and I still do think) he was charming, funny, frustratingly intelligent, and he knew exactly how to tempt me, to tease me.. with just a few words. He was like nobody I'd ever known in my life, and even though I had never seen him, had never met him, I'd gradually fallen head over heels for him. It happened over the course of about four months of back and forth emails, and it occurred so gradually that I didn't realize it until it was too late.

If you've gotten this far in my post, I commend you! You might as well make it worth your while - I am open to any and all comments, and I would thoroughly appreciate your advice.

Best,
Elena

I'm not a regular here but I just happened to catch the thread issue. I hope you don't mind my two cents.

I recently met someone on the site and damn near fell totally in love with her. For about 4 days we swapped some many PM's that I couldn't keep my mailbox clean. Fortunately I think we both realized that we had to slow down.

I swap PM's with several people and we have fun relationships but something was different with her. I know for a fact that she is a very caring and loving person. During those few days of intensity I feel like a school kid again.

We're in similar situations regarding our relationships and I believe that had we continued to go at the level we were I would have fallen in love with her. Just as real as if she were sitting across the table from me. I'm really not sure that she knows I feel this way because we never communicated this. I have to believe she felt something though just from the messages she sent.

We are now just being friends and I'm lucky I didn't lose her completely.

I'm sorry for your pain.

 

[_elena_]

My, my, a lot has happened on this thread since I've last checked...

Again, to those of you who've offered support - I've read every word and I can't thank you enough.

Elena

 

[Private_Label]

a good theory

... "i" stay platonic unattached uninvolved.

...
i like it platonic. no one can touch me and hurt me.
i am a rock..i am an island..simon and garfunkel--60's

All good in theory until the day it goes out the window. It may not have happened to you yet, and it may never happen to you. But then again, one day you may wake up and suddenly realize there is more to the relationship than platonic feelings.

Elena, I too am sorry for your loss.

I've only had a couple of LDR, the first one when I was ~19 was via snail mail (ah the days before dial-up and IM) a pen pal relationship that became something more after a few months. When we both went off to colleges and he worked as a fire fighter out in Calif. during a year of rampaging forest fires things went along nicely, but over time he stopped writing as frequently. I finally asked him if he had lost interest, and he was nice enough to at least tell me he had.

The second one was with a friend that I met through mutual friends of our, he was moving from one military duty statiuon to another. We IM'ed a bit and things progressed from general talk to a bit more racy play time to one night with me laying in bed not able to sleep and finally coming to realize I was completely and totally in love with him. We talked about it a lot for a couple of days. It finally boiled down to me comfortable with the fact that he was just playing, but the experience had brought out the submissive aspect. Which I was very very surprised by, since I am very much one who has to be in control of herself and my surroundings. I like planning. Plans can change and the frequently do with me, but I must know what I am doing and where I am going and I can be a blunt person who will work to get the information or assistance ~ I was the first person in my family to go to college and navigating financial aid and moving from a community college in one state to a full research university in another I had to be able to go and ask a lot of questions. Plus being a child in a divorce situation when I was very young and being my younger brother's shield between him and strangers when we traveled alone between one parent and another (by air or by Bus) I couldn't keep moving without knowing where I was going nor could I defer to anyone else to find out for me.

When he found a person out where he was that he was interested in having a deeper relationship, I backed way off. When he went overseas last year things heated back up for a short time, he had a falling out shortly before he left, but he did tell me he was talking to her, and they agreed to give their relationship another try. I backed off again. It didn't mean I felt any less, but he was honest with me about it from the start. I couldn't get mad at him for that.

When he recently contacted me by e-mail recently, I was surprised by my reaction again. I hadn't even opened it and I reacted very strongly. <blush>

He is still involved with someone, but we still write each other, I'm just not allowed to play with him currently. He knows I have feelings for him and he doesn't want to hurt me.

He wants me to go find someone special.

But the truth is...




I belong to him.


I will always belong to him.


Even if only as his friend.

Even if I meet someone new that I like and have fun with... I think I will be telling him first and asking permission before anything sexual happens with anyone else. Even though He's never really done more than hug me the one time we met in person.

 

[marieR19]

But the truth is...




I belong to him.


I will always belong to him.


Even if only as his friend.

Even if I meet someone new that I like and have fun with... I think I will be telling him first and asking permission before anything sexual happens with anyone else. Even though He's never really done more than hug me the one time we met in person.

Oh god do I know how you feel. My ex and I have been over, totally over, for more then a year now. Our friendship is complicated because we both still have feelings for each other, but she doesn't want a relationship and I won't allow myself to ever get back with her because of how badly she hurt me. However, she has a serious hold over me... Everything I do, I think of how she would feel about it. Sometimes I feel bad talking to my gf so much, instead of her. I have even, very often lately, almost called my gf by my ex's name. I still love her, but it's not the same kind of love it used to be. It's more that my heart belongs to her, and always will, even if we aren't together, even if we don't love each other at all.

Marie

 

[shy slave]

small hijack

I actually had to check with my 'watch hand' (=left) after Andante pointed out your mistake... I just never get the left/right thing. I actually got it confused 2 or 3 times during the test to get my driver's licence... Very embarrassing...
Now please tell me where you get those funny smiley-thingies that do some nifty action in the posts. I want them!!!

I have lost count of the amout of people I have exasperated through getting left and right muddled up.

I am at my worst when, as a passenger, I am giving someone directions in busy traffic.

On my third driving test attempt I put 'L' and 'R' on the backs of my hands.

It looked stupid but at least I passed.

As for left and right when looking at a screen ~ forget it, figuring that out is beyond me.

My mum used to try and teach me by saying you use your right hand to bless yourself when making the sign of the cross.
You look pretty stupid if every time you want to tell someone to make a right turn you bless yourself.
They then worry you are concerned about their driving add in the time it takes to ~
bless yourself,
work out which hand you used,
tell the driver to go right or left,

They have driven past the turning


Nowadays I just point, easier and quicker if not always safer !

 

[babiesmiles]

My, my, a lot has happened on this thread since I've last checked...

Again, to those of you who've offered support - I've read every word and I can't thank you enough.

Elena

elena keep reading and posting .... we are not that bad . hugs b.