Help!! My husband's fantasy really freaked me out.

[Farside]

I hate to sound like a pervert BUT I actually had a treesome with a mother and daughter a few years ago. I was single and the daughter worked for me. She was married but she was determined that she was going to get me in bed. I promise this is true and not a fantasy or ego talking. Anyway one night she and her mother came by my house and they started making advances to me. It turned me on so much to have a mother and daughter at the same time. I am married now and I could never think of my mother-in-law and me together but many guys have the fantasy of a mother and daughter even if they will not admit it. I hope thinks workout for you and your husband. Remember that fantasy is fantasy and most people never act on their fantasys.

 

[DarkDesires21Male]

Well this is just me, take it from someone who is only twenty-one, or just ignore me cause of my age, but I think you shouldn't be looking for revenge, I think you should just sit him down and talk to him about it, make sure that it was either a joke, he was drunk or it was a spur of the moment type of thing that he would never want to have fulfilled in real life...I just think that if you care about him, and have been married for 11 years, revenge shouldn't be the first thing on your mind, but then again I am a romantic off the old block

 

[Rorysweetdimples]

Revenge isn't really on my mind...it's just damn fun to think about for a while.

 

[Erica180]

You seem to have 2 different issues going on here.
Your husbands fantasy and the molestation issue.
The best way to deal with his fantasy is to take something he likes and incorporate it into something that you'd enjoy. As for the issues surrounding your father it might help to have a third party ie marriage conuselor or psychiatrist as a third party and express you feeling...fears to your husband using the other independent person to sumerize your feelings and fears as well as his

Hope this helps

 

[FlamingoBlue]

This is a time for clear thinking....

not revenge. This may be a good time for counselling, for you and your husband as well as some individual counselling for your husband. The real question is where these thoughts are coming from and how you can react to them in a rational manner.

blue

 

[lazarus UK]

For what it's worth,

I'd agree that it's time for some clear thinking.

You seem to be holding a lot of mutually contradictory stuff together in your head at the same time. Most of us do this, but we don't get our noses rubbed in it, so it doesn't bother us. As far as your husband's concerned he doesn't have to keep so much stuff up in the air at once.

All of it is in some ways true, but only when looked at one piece at at time. Put together it's just confusing. No wonder you feel hurt.

Try picking it apart and looking at it a bit at a time - forgetting the other bits:

For example in the thread so far we've had

Mother doesnt have sex - (small child and shocked adolescent)
Mother obviously does have sex - (where did I come from, rational adult)
Mum's a respectable lady, she doesn't enjoy it, she's not having it now, I was an one-off - ( my mum's nice and wouldn't do that, she needs defending)
Mum's good in bed, hottest thing ever! - (of course she is! she's my mum! she's good at everything! oops ... I need protecting from her)

So in order you are amazed, shocked, unsurprised, shocked again, proud & jealous. All at once.

I think I'd try to seperate it out - each piece may have an individual answer.

 

[djacq]

It's just a fantasy and I think that you're over reacting. I can understand if both you and you're mom are babes. It's natural to fantasize something like that but if you won't go there, you won't go there. I'd say give your husband a reality check about the situation not going to happen at all. Perhaps, with some talking, you both can compromise. Make his fantasy almost come true by dressing up and acting like your mom in a sexy kind of way. It could be great love making. Just an option.

 

[Deanna08005]

I would sit down with him and tell him how you fell about it. i think it gross to have your husband want your mother and in the same room to miss around.