cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
Re: moving on
First off, please remember that there's a difference in the minds of most of us concerning the definition of a submissive versus a slave. For most of us, the line between the two is a matter of degree to which the bottom (submissive/slave) is willing to cede control to the Top (Dominant).
Secondly, please remember that the element of humiliation in sexual play is important to many bottoms/submissives/slaves. We don't all want the same thing from our humiliation, though, and some of the things you might want and need are just not going to appeal to me at all.
If i don't like something that you like, then i smile politely and tell you so. If i don't want that kind of humiliation, then i don't spend time establishing a bond with someone who needs, likes, and wants that kind of humiliation. We all need different stuff. No one's needs are inherently better or worse than anyone else's needs, only different and something we'd like to try or not.
Even those who need and want feces smeared on their faces, a thing i would not do at all ever, are deserving of our acceptance as long as they seek to express that aspect of thier sexual needs with people who need and want the same thing. How are they harming us if they play in that way, if they don't force us to play with them?
Acceptance, inclusion, tolerance... these are the words and attributes we use with each other here in BDSMland. Don't do it if you don't want to, but don't down other people as long as they are playing in a safe, sane, and consensual manner.
None of us puts all our happiness into someone else's control. We *always* retain the responsibility to directly influence and control the happiness level in all our human relationships, whether they be sexual, loving, familial, work-related, etc.
We might give away our control over the details of the relationship in major or minor ways, but (listen up now) in all good BDSM relationships, it is the duty and the responsibility of both partners to work toward the everyday and ongoing health of the relationship.
All good BDSM relationships are relationships first, and then they're BDSM.
As in any human relationship, it is the work of both involved to keep the relationship healthy and meeting the needs of both parties.
That's my take on living my life, anyway.
One has to just do it.
Te nada, steppenwolf. I'm glad you got it sorted out.steppenwolf said:
Geezus gods, man, where the HELL are you wandering in your searching around into BDSM sexuality?
First off, please remember that there's a difference in the minds of most of us concerning the definition of a submissive versus a slave. For most of us, the line between the two is a matter of degree to which the bottom (submissive/slave) is willing to cede control to the Top (Dominant).
Secondly, please remember that the element of humiliation in sexual play is important to many bottoms/submissives/slaves. We don't all want the same thing from our humiliation, though, and some of the things you might want and need are just not going to appeal to me at all.
If i don't like something that you like, then i smile politely and tell you so. If i don't want that kind of humiliation, then i don't spend time establishing a bond with someone who needs, likes, and wants that kind of humiliation. We all need different stuff. No one's needs are inherently better or worse than anyone else's needs, only different and something we'd like to try or not.
Even those who need and want feces smeared on their faces, a thing i would not do at all ever, are deserving of our acceptance as long as they seek to express that aspect of thier sexual needs with people who need and want the same thing. How are they harming us if they play in that way, if they don't force us to play with them?
Acceptance, inclusion, tolerance... these are the words and attributes we use with each other here in BDSMland. Don't do it if you don't want to, but don't down other people as long as they are playing in a safe, sane, and consensual manner.
It's always a shock to us when a relationship ends and it's not an ending we sought, is it not? Why should these people be any diferent in their human expectations of thier relationships than you or i?
You're lost in the stereotypes, steppenwolf.
None of us puts all our happiness into someone else's control. We *always* retain the responsibility to directly influence and control the happiness level in all our human relationships, whether they be sexual, loving, familial, work-related, etc.
We might give away our control over the details of the relationship in major or minor ways, but (listen up now) in all good BDSM relationships, it is the duty and the responsibility of both partners to work toward the everyday and ongoing health of the relationship.
All good BDSM relationships are relationships first, and then they're BDSM.
As in any human relationship, it is the work of both involved to keep the relationship healthy and meeting the needs of both parties.
Life is full of changes. If we sit on the sidelines and wait for the carousel to stop, we miss the ride. If we take a chance and make a flying leap trying to jump on the glittering whirling twirling thing, we might trip and fall, oh yes, but we'll be on the carousel, won't we? We'll be riding the ride, not standing and watching and wishing.
That's my take on living my life, anyway.
One has to just do it.
Good for you. I'm firmly convinced that most of us are this way since none of us can ever agree on just where those pesky lines are, anyway.
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