Honest Opinions, Please

[sr71plt]

Hey ACE? Go study some punctuation, read the story, and get back to me.

Why? Too lazy to look up proper punctuation yourself? (Pretty evident from your posts.) Still have done nothing but bluster, buster. Talk about blowhards . . .

 

[PennLady]

As I said in my original post, I wanted thoughts whether it is ebook worthy.

Anything is ebook worthy, in a sense; it's not really a high bar. Now, if it's your own personal bar, that's different, or if you're working with a publisher. But there's a lot of stuff out there of varying levels of quality.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Why? Too lazy to look up proper punctuation yourself? (Pretty evident from your posts.) Still have done nothing but bluster, buster. Talk about blowhards . . .

Ace? Youre the expert on blowhards, last time I checked. Go sober up and try me later. Your daily hissy fits are lame. So take a nice nap and return. Or take a nice soak with a writing book, to review punctuation.

 

[sr71plt]

Nope, still nothing to substantiate your claims. Just a lot of hot air. As is so often the case with you, JBJ, there's no "there" there.

 

[LustreMunky]

Hey ACE? Go study some punctuation, read the story, and get back to me.

40K+ posts and not one of them useful?

 

[sr71plt]

Some of JBJ's posts are useful. But, as is so often the case, here he attacks the OP out of sheer orneriness. It certainly isn't because he's an expert in punctuation.

He craves attention. His way of getting it is balancing being curmudgeonly and pretending to have expertise he doesn't have--and then going into an irrelevant shell game when he's called on it. Like on this thread.

 

[lovecraft68]

Some of JBJ's posts are useful. But, as is so often the case, here he attacks the OP out of sheer orneriness. It certainly isn't because he's an expert in punctuation.

He craves attention. His way of getting it is balancing being curmudgeonly and pretending to have expertise he doesn't have--and then going into an irrelevant shell game when he's called on it. Like on this thread.

Perhaps you're right, perhaps you're not, we'll never know.

Although perhaps if we were to delve deeper into this shell game, we might perhaps gain an answer. Than again, perhaps not.

 

[sr71plt]

Have no idea what LC has posted in his quest to keep his nose up my ass, but he and JBJ are bosom buddies now, so whatever it is doesn't surprise me.

I'm sure the OP has figured all of this out.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The OP asked for feedback and got it, she didn't like it and tossed back some snark. That sums up our interactions so far. Show me the attacks.

 

[sr71plt]

The OP asked for feedback and got it, she didn't like it and tossed back some snark. That sums up our interactions so far. Show me the attacks.

Not quite. You slammed her on punctuation. She (and others) called you on that (rightly pointing out that your own use of punctuation is abysmal), and you haven't backed up your assertion. JBJ business, as usual.

There's nothing honest about making critical assertions you refuse to back up by reverting to an irrelevant shell game of name calling.

 

[Addicted2Writing]

Unreal

The OP asked for feedback and got it, she didn't like it and tossed back some snark. That sums up our interactions so far. Show me the attacks.

No, I wanted constructive criticism, not to be given a rude-assed comment about punctuation that you were not able to back up.

And I thought I would get mature, helpful comments, which I have for the most part. But you, sir, helped none at all.

Instead this thread is littered with fighting between two authors (one pretty good; the other not so much, which nullified the comment on the question I posed in the first place). It is all so TOTALLY not necessary.

"Consider the source" is my motto.

Now, try to find punctuation errors in my post NOW!

 

[Addicted2Writing]

Ace? Youre the expert on blowhards, last time I checked. Go sober up and try me later. Your daily hissy fits are lame. So take a nice nap and return. Or take a nice soak with a writing book, to review punctuation.

1--"Youre" You're is correct.
2--NO COMMA between "blowhards" and "last"
3--NO COMMA between "book" and "to

That is an example of how to back-up a "constructive" criticism.

What's my motto?? Consider the source.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

No, I wanted constructive criticism, not to be given a rude-assed comment about punctuation that you were not able to back up.

And I thought I would get mature, helpful comments, which I have for the most part. But you, sir, helped none at all.

Instead this thread is littered with fighting between two authors (one pretty good; the other not so much, which nullified the comment on the question I posed in the first place). It is all so TOTALLY not necessary.

"Consider the source" is my motto.

Now, try to find punctuation errors in my post NOW!

I didn't list all your adverbs, neither did PL, yet there are plenty of them to find. I'm not your private copy editor.

 

[sr71plt]

I didn't list all your adverbs, neither did PL, yet there are plenty of them to find. I'm not your private copy editor.

Still no substance to your responses. What a surprise.

Who do you think you're fooling, JBJ? (Not even LC, I'm sure--he's weighing in to pursue another agenda altogether).

 

[Addicted2Writing]

Last comment

The OP asked for feedback and got it, she didn't like it and tossed back some snark. That sums up our interactions so far. Show me the attacks.

Did you see any "snark" in sr71plt's negative criticism to me in which he said that if I had no confidence I shouldn't make an ebook? No. I did not lash out at him. Yes, it was harsh, but I didn't take it offensively because of the way he put it.

Now, you two continue to bicker, and I'll sit back and laugh.

 

[Addicted2Writing]

I lied

I didn't list all your adverbs, neither did PL, yet there are plenty of them to find. I'm not your private copy editor.

And thank god for that!!

If you'd noticed in my author's note my co-author is British. They speak and write with tons of adverbs. It was NOT over the top nor was it incorrect.

And ... wait for it ... I'm done!

 

[lovecraft68]

ON the topic of e-booking, from what I read the series is good enough to do that with and I think it would be a cut above a lot of BDSM out there.

Problem with BDSM on sites like smashwords and amazon and others is much of indie published BDSM is rape porn. Sexual slavery and flat out rape with some "sirs" thrown in to make it "real" BDSM And if its not that it is over romanticized pablum

So when one comes along that is legit it has a chance to do well with the true lifestyle audience.

If you publish it post the link here. I'd be more than happy to buy a copy.

 

[Addicted2Writing]

Lovecraft

ON the topic of e-booking, from what I read the series is good enough to do that with and I think it would be a cut above most BDSM out there.

Problem with BDSM on sites like smashwords and amazon and others is much of indie published BDSM is rape porn. Sexual slavery and flat out rape with some "sirs" thrown in to make it "real" BDSM

So when one comes along that is legit it has a chance to do well with the true lifestyle audience.

If you publish it post the link here. I'd be more than happy to buy a copy.

Thanks, Lovecraft. I want to wait until it's all finished, edit one last time THEN post it. That should be in about a year. lol

I read one that was really good that I actually bought (after reading the 1st chapter, which was free). But there was no rape in it. BDSM is pretty much all I read. And most of those stories are laden with misspellings, punctuation and all that -- of course those were free, and good thing, too! lol

But I just wanted others' opinions on whether it's worth it since I am FAR from the Hall of Famer's expertise!

 

[_Lynn_]

I skimmed over the first page of the chapter and picked out a few things that caught my attention.

The lasting effect on her mother's condition was paralysis on the right side of her body and slurred speech, which wasn't very often as she was rarely comatose.

Comatose means in a coma. If she was rarely in a coma, that means she would most often be awake, or alert. So the sentence doesn’t make sense.

To make ends meet from the insurmountable hospital stay and other bills that were piling up, Gayle's father changed his work hours to part-time, while Gayle dropped out of her junior year of college to take on two part-time jobs.

He changed his hours? If there are bills, why go to part-time?

Soon Gayle was left alone. She drank another cup of coffee, cleaned up the kitchen, then went to sit with her mother.

I would add the comma after kitchen.

The ball flew straight as an arrow at the flag briefly before the treacherous cross wind nudged the ball to the left. With his heart in his mouth, he watched the ball hit the front of the green, its momentum taking it closer and closer to the dreaded trap. With what looked like the last turn of the ball it toppled over the edge into the bunker.

In three sentences, you repeat the word ball four times. Granted, I'm not the typical reader. Many people wouldn't notice the duplication. I find it boring, though.


Also, you capped the words mom and dad in places I believe they should be lowercase.


Just my opinion.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

And thank god for that!!

If you'd noticed in my author's note my co-author is British. They speak and write with tons of adverbs. It was NOT over the top nor was it incorrect.

And ... wait for it ... I'm done!

If you want a pat on the back ask for it, if you loathe feedback don't ask for it. None of us get a penny for doing your work.

 

[lovecraft68]

Thanks, Lovecraft. I want to wait until it's all finished, edit one last time THEN post it. That should be in about a year. lol

Can you do me a favor? Either enable your PM's or look at my profile and send me an e-mail at the yahoo address listed there. I'd like to share some things about the e-book idea with you, but don't need everything being picked apart here.

 

[Addicted2Writing]

Thank you!

I skimmed over the first page of the chapter and picked out a few things that caught my attention.

Comatose means in a coma. If she was rarely in a coma, that means she would most often be awake, or alert. So the sentence doesn’t make sense.


He changed his hours? If there are bills, why go to part-time?


I would add the comma after kitchen.


In three sentences, you repeat the word ball four times. Granted, I'm not the typical reader. Many people wouldn't notice the duplication. I find it boring, though.


Also, you capped the words mom and dad in places I believe they should be lowercase.


Just my opinion.

I was aware of the 'rarely comatose' error, and I know I have a problem with repeatedly using the same word over and over. I'm really trying to work on that too.

That is what I wanted to know!! Thank you for pointing them out.

 

[lovecraft68]

In three sentences, you repeat the word ball four times. Granted, I'm not the typical reader. Many people wouldn't notice the duplication. I find it boring, though.

Repetition of words at least in that short of a space is something that gets to me a little bit, sort of a pet peeve I guess.

Perhaps others agree, perhaps they don't.

 

[_Lynn_]

Repetition of words at least in that short of a space is something that gets to me a little bit, sort of a pet peeve I guess.

Perhaps others agree, perhaps they don't.

Rearranging words, blending sentences, and chopping useless details are some ways to eliminate repetition.

 

[Addicted2Writing]

Sent email

Can you do me a favor? Either enable your PM's or look at my profile and send me an e-mail at the yahoo address listed there. I'd like to share some things about the e-book idea with you, but don't need everything being picked apart here.

I sent an email because it was easier to do that instead of trying to figure out how to turn my IMs on. lol