Kumquatqueen
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2017
- Posts
- 4,120
How I ended up being poly:
Single at college, a guy I met asked me to be nice to a friend of his (he'd previously gone out with her) who'd just returned from a year abroad and was lonely. Me and her got together. Then she pushed off for another year abroad. Me and him got together. Then she returned, and the answer seemed obvious. She then went away again, and returned in an relationship with a guy, so that was the end of that, but in the meantime I'd got to know a large bisexual network which included lots of poly people.
Most of the crowd settled into couples by their 30s, though with a lot of cuddling and flirting with other friends. A few ended up with three or four in a relationship. And a bunch ended up in couples who each with other partners on the side - like me. It's like having close friends you do other things with, only those things can include sex. I only know a couple cases where a couple include one monogamous and one poly person - both have the mono person with a very time-consuming hobby that's like a relationship.
I might have given up trying to be poly, once I had kids and health issues etc, but I already had the partners and didn't want to dump anyone... In reality, I ended up seeing one person weekly or so, and the one I live with, and any dates with anyone else got further between. Poly is actually great practice for having kids - that shock a lot of monogamous men have, realising they ain't no.1 in their girlfriend's life any more, just didn't happen for us.
Poly can also work if you're into BDSM and do different things with different people. But quite frankly the biggest perk is just not having that angst over what your spouse might be up to. I recall one party we had when we had to figure out who would sleep where after. Eventually we realised everyone could have a comfortable bed, if I was willing to share with the spouse's partner's bloke. It was confirmed he was a perfect gentleman and rarely snored, so I went to bed with him. We chatted a while, got to know each other better, and went to sleep, snuggling a bit because it was cold. We could have had sex, but just weren't really interested! A remarkably fun sleepover, really. My boyfriend painted my nails in the morning, I think.
Been nearly 30 years now - even my mum's stopped calling it a phase...
Single at college, a guy I met asked me to be nice to a friend of his (he'd previously gone out with her) who'd just returned from a year abroad and was lonely. Me and her got together. Then she pushed off for another year abroad. Me and him got together. Then she returned, and the answer seemed obvious. She then went away again, and returned in an relationship with a guy, so that was the end of that, but in the meantime I'd got to know a large bisexual network which included lots of poly people.
Most of the crowd settled into couples by their 30s, though with a lot of cuddling and flirting with other friends. A few ended up with three or four in a relationship. And a bunch ended up in couples who each with other partners on the side - like me. It's like having close friends you do other things with, only those things can include sex. I only know a couple cases where a couple include one monogamous and one poly person - both have the mono person with a very time-consuming hobby that's like a relationship.
I might have given up trying to be poly, once I had kids and health issues etc, but I already had the partners and didn't want to dump anyone... In reality, I ended up seeing one person weekly or so, and the one I live with, and any dates with anyone else got further between. Poly is actually great practice for having kids - that shock a lot of monogamous men have, realising they ain't no.1 in their girlfriend's life any more, just didn't happen for us.
Poly can also work if you're into BDSM and do different things with different people. But quite frankly the biggest perk is just not having that angst over what your spouse might be up to. I recall one party we had when we had to figure out who would sleep where after. Eventually we realised everyone could have a comfortable bed, if I was willing to share with the spouse's partner's bloke. It was confirmed he was a perfect gentleman and rarely snored, so I went to bed with him. We chatted a while, got to know each other better, and went to sleep, snuggling a bit because it was cold. We could have had sex, but just weren't really interested! A remarkably fun sleepover, really. My boyfriend painted my nails in the morning, I think.
Been nearly 30 years now - even my mum's stopped calling it a phase...
