How does one end a relationship such as this?

[MasterPhoenix]

Don't do what a former online submissive of mine did once... just kind of disappear... Of course, I am not complaining too much because on the heels of that, I met the love of my life.

Communication is the key... I have been in a LDR for over four years... we HAVE been together, and have plans to move to be together... But we are going though a trying time because we have had communication problems between our jobs and a three hour time difference. We also have cell phones and such, but sometimes life still gets in the way.

If you are going to end it, I suggest being forthright with your reasons why. BUT before you do end it, make sure that ending it is what you want.

Just my two cents....

 

[Incompleteidea]

Not to bump my own thread...

But for any of you who might have cared...


I finally sent an email. The responce took two days and was the most non shalont responce i've ever gotten from him.

He understands, our scheduals didn't work out. And oh things with his sub are getting more serious. ...


All in all i know it was the right thing to do. But somehow it still hurts knowing i meant nothing after all.

And life goes on.

 

[madetotakeit]

Sorry that you are hurting. Best thing I can suggest is not to look at it as having meant nothing at all. It did for a time. Unfortunately it did not have the shelf life you would have liked. I'm sure if you look at it there were moments that were very fulfilling. Hold tight to the memory of those feelings and push forward. Nothing is without meaning. From everything we at least gain knowledge. It's all a matter of where you go from here.

 

[pellso27]

Just tell him you have outgrown him and you need to expand your horizons.

 

[FurryFury]

Men, particularly online often act like they don't care and/or are busy with someone else. I believe this is to get a certain reaction from you, about his ego, and game playing more than anything else.

Men tend to feel more than they are willing to let on in my experience.

I've probably said this before but try to take the good things and lessons learned away from this, build on those. Leave the negative or hurtful things.

*hug*

 

[Noor]

But for any of you who might have cared...


I finally sent an email. The responce took two days and was the most non shalont responce i've ever gotten from him.

He understands, our scheduals didn't work out. And oh things with his sub are getting more serious. ...


All in all i know it was the right thing to do. But somehow it still hurts knowing i meant nothing after all.

And life goes on.

Sounds like he is hurt and justifying. Doesn't mean you meant nothing.

 

[myinnerslut]

IMO you did the right thing. im sorry it hurts. {{hugs}}

 

[FurryFury]

Sounds like he is hurt and justifying. Doesn't mean you meant nothing.

You said it better than I did!

 

[snowy ciara]

But for any of you who might have cared...


I finally sent an email. The responce took two days and was the most non shalont responce i've ever gotten from him.

He understands, our scheduals didn't work out. And oh things with his sub are getting more serious. ...


All in all i know it was the right thing to do. But somehow it still hurts knowing i meant nothing after all.

And life goes on.

I'm sorry you're hurting, but the two day lag and the justifications he returned in his email make me think you did mean something. Otherwise, he wouldn't have taken the jab (weak though it was) to tell you that things with his sub are getting more serious.

My best to you...

 

[Incompleteidea]

Thanks so much for all your support!

Sounds like he is hurt and justifying. Doesn't mean you meant nothing.

I would love to say your right, I’ve never thought of it that way. But really he’s been moving to a new apartment and hasn’t had his computer hooked up.

He’s been pretty free with his emotions; he’s even apologized a few times for pushing things to fast to soon. If he didn’t want it to end he would have said something and the fact of the mater is he didn’t.


In the end i'm better off. I know this down deep. i just need to get over it all

 

[VelvetDarkness]

In the end i'm better off. I know this down deep. i just need to get over it all

As long as you know that you did the right thing, you will get over this in time. I do hope though, that it doesn't put you off online relationships completely as this is clearly a need in you that will not go away. Just as in RL liaisons, for every guy worth your time and effort longterm, there are 100 who aren't. Kink shrinks the playing field further so odds aren't ever in your favour, you have to play them with a certain degree of ruthlessness.

You gave this guy time and commitment and for whatever reason, he didn't keep his end of the bargain. No need for hard feelings on either side. Pseudo-dom's with more testosterone than grey matter can turn into real whiny babies when scorned though.

Hugs

 

[Noor]

Thanks so much for all your support!



I would love to say your right, I’ve never thought of it that way. But really he’s been moving to a new apartment and hasn’t had his computer hooked up.

He’s been pretty free with his emotions; he’s even apologized a few times for pushing things to fast to soon. If he didn’t want it to end he would have said something and the fact of the mater is he didn’t.


In the end i'm better off. I know this down deep. i just need to get over it all

As someone who has had the experience of having someone she clearly loved tell her many YEARS later that he hadn't wanted the relationship to end, all I can say is you never know what is in someone else's heart.

In my case, from my love's point of view, things were too complicated in his life, he didn't know how to communicate his feelings, he felt what he had to offer at the time was not worthy of me, he was not in a stable place, and numerous other things. In hind sight, I understand we were very young, he was a mess... However, when he told me I was very angry.

There are many men in this world, and even on lit who believe that they should be able to figure out things completely on their own, and when they are having problems that affect their relationships it is better that they hid away until they are better or they figure it out. This is even true of men who are great communicators in other areas of their lives. Maybe everyone does it to some extent.