How long would you wait?

[shy slave]

Oh, and Shy,

Seems we both share the same middle name. Though I have to be careful how I choose to word things, coz I know I have pissed a lot of people of with my (often unfounded/unproved) suspicions!

Yep,
I know that feeling!

But I think Chris has a point about impatience, sometimes you just need to know.

And the red flags that coy and others mentioned, are they waving and shining brightly?

 

[Perfect_Trust]

Yep,
I know that feeling!

But I think Chris has a point about impatience, sometimes you just need to know.

And the red flags that coy and others mentioned, are they waving and shining brightly?

Yep, I think I DO need to know. There's not much point in keep stressing over it.

I'll have a think how I'm going to word it, but I think phone is best. Thanks for all your replies, and I'll let you know when I do.

 

[SweetErika]

Yep, I think I DO need to know. There's not much point in keep stressing over it.

I'll have a think how I'm going to word it, but I think phone is best. Thanks for all your replies, and I'll let you know when I do.

Go with your instincts, and I agree the phone is best.

If his objection up until now has been about meeting for sex, make it clear no sex will take place. Suggest meeting for coffee or a meal in a public place, and that's it, even if he comes to you or you go the distance to him. That's just good common sense for a first (or the first few) date anyway!

"It's clear we have great conversation and some things in common, so I'd like to find a time in the next few weeks to meet halfway for coffee/a meal. What times do you have available?" should work fine if said in a friendly, sincere tone. I can't see where that could be interpreted as anything but reasonable by a genuine, reasonable person.

I'm also in the 'meet soon' camp. I'm happy to find a mutually agreeable time and public place, but if they're not willing to meet me in a safe place in a reasonable amount of time, they're off my list. In my experience, people who aren't willing to do so will continue to come up with excuses until they lose interest, so I just don't deal with them anymore. Why should I waste my time with them when there are plenty who are more than happy to meet on those terms?

In fact, this is so important to me that I actually put "must be willing and able to meet in public in a reasonable amount of time" in my profiles. I'm only looking for locals who are less than an hour away in normal driving conditions, so this shouldn't be an issue for them. And it isn't for most men I've talked to. Most actually find it really refreshing, having met their fair share of fakes themselves!

 

[HottieMama]

100 miles away from each other? As someone who has lost her patience with distance completely, they would get about a week of regular conversation (i.e. daily IM chat or phone calls) before i asked to meet them in person.

 

[Perfect_Trust]

Update

Just thought I'd come back to this, let all of you who posted know how this went.

We've talked a lot on this, and it seems there was a lack of understanding on both sides as to what we both wished to gain from it, and where we saw it going next (if anywhere).

As it stands we have agreed we had some crossed wires and hope to move this into R/T sometime soon.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

How long would I wait???

Uhmm, as long as it needs I guess.

Okay I dunno if I am that patient or just that lazy *LOL*, but I am not a leavor. I believe my Dom is worth all the time it needs and if theres any chance of meeting him, even a lil litttle one, I will wait lust and dream about it.

I love my Sir and I believe one day me and him will meet for real. It can take months, maybe even years, I dont mid really. We enjoy what we have and I am thankful for that, so yes I will wait and dream and ache, for him.

 

[FurryFury]

Just thought I'd come back to this, let all of you who posted know how this went.

We've talked a lot on this, and it seems there was a lack of understanding on both sides as to what we both wished to gain from it, and where we saw it going next (if anywhere).

As it stands we have agreed we had some crossed wires and hope to move this into R/T sometime soon.

I'm glad to hear y'all have cleared up a few things and are on the same page now.

 

[Primalex]

For someone online? If you were in contact with someone a fair while... at what point would you expect to get an answer of when they intend to meet you?

2-4 weeks.


Although it took me once 5 years for one girl. But we didn't wait for each other and we didn't intend to have a relationship together, we lived our lives and just chatted every few days about this and that until we both said, that it's really now time to meet.. so, I still say 2 weeks for a girl waiting for the guy, 4 weeks for the guy waiting for the girl, a bit longer for real long distance (>250 miles) and only, if there is a real improvement over time, like sharing phone numbers etc.

 

[SirQittus]

Just thought I'd come back to this, let all of you who posted know how this went.

We've talked a lot on this, and it seems there was a lack of understanding on both sides as to what we both wished to gain from it, and where we saw it going next (if anywhere).

As it stands we have agreed we had some crossed wires and hope to move this into R/T sometime soon.

I can't be the only one here thinking that "sometime soon" sounds vague, and similar to what you were dealing with prior to uncrossing your wires?

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I can't be the only one here thinking that "sometime soon" sounds vague, and similar to what you were dealing with prior to uncrossing your wires?

I have to say that I thought the same thing. Was going to keep quiet but... meh.

PT, after all the confusion and disappointment in the OP, I would want a date set by now. That way, if the date was broken and more procrastination ensued, I could say that I did my best and move on.

You need some kind of timeframe in mind regarding how much longer you're prepared to wait for 'sometime soon.' If you allow him to continue being so vague, you'll have no comeback when you're still in this same position weeks or months down the line.

 

[Perfect_Trust]

I have to say that I thought the same thing. Was going to keep quiet but... meh.

PT, after all the confusion and disappointment in the OP, I would want a date set by now. That way, if the date was broken and more procrastination ensued, I could say that I did my best and move on.

You need some kind of timeframe in mind regarding how much longer you're prepared to wait for 'sometime soon.' If you allow him to continue being so vague, you'll have no comeback when you're still in this same position weeks or months down the line.

Your right of course, and I'm giving it a couple of weeks max to pin down a date... or move on.

 

[sexycaz22]

Usually, when I first chat or "meet" someone online, I do drag it along, and chat with them for longer periods of maybe 2 months or longer.

However, I am improving in my "dating game" and now set a period of at least 2 weeks, before meeting in RL. In fact, I am already arranging with a submissive with whom I only chatted for the very first time was last week, to try and meet up sometimes next week. I do look forward to that, and it's the second time, (after W, my online sub friend) that I felt so comfortable with him when chatting with him, and even better, he actually lives in Glasgow, about 45 mins on the train. Looking forward to that one!