How old do you want to be?

[littlecordelera]

Just let it happen!
The body grows older, but the mind doesn't have to!

All the tings people do....color their hair, start getting things lifted.....silly as far as I'm concerned.
Helps to have a spouse to get old right along with you!

Then I guess I won't be growing old gracefully. I intend to put up a fight.

 

[SissySalina]

I hope I haven't posted this in the wrong forum.

My husband and I went out to eat last night. We sat at the bar of a nice restaurant, and I got to talking to the guy sitting next to me. He was 58, and he was making jokes about getting old, as a way of telling me how much he didn't like it. I told him that I entered my 40's this year, and I was none too happy about it. He said his 40's were the best ten years of his life, and that after 50, things go downhill fast!

He was an attractive guy for his age, and he appeared to be fit, and from talking with him it was clear that he and his wife lived comfortably, so I was a curious as to exactly what parts of aging bothered him the most. He said, "Losing my looks." His wife, who had been talking to the woman next to her, joined the conversation then. She was a very attractive woman for her 57 years of age, really beautiful (I hope I look as good at her age!), but she agreed that losing her looks is what bothered her the most. They also talked about aches and pains, and how they could not be as active as they used to be, but mostly they hated losing their looks. The guy said most older people don't want to admit that because it makes them sound vain.

I don't like the idea of losing my looks. I'm sure no one does. I don't think I am overly concerned about it, but from talking with the couple last night, the whole thing sounds quite depressing. The guy was very candid about it, and he told me some things about aging that I had never heard before. It was a bleak picture!

I know there are people here of all age ranges. I would be curious to know what you feel were the best years of your life and why and how you feel about aging.

sissy has been around for several lives, it is not about numbers but about who you are with.
The key is to end up with someone that makes you feel good inside and hold onto that person.
Would it be better to meet this person sooner rather than late, you bet, but the main thing is to find the person no matter when.

 

[EmpressJosephine]

I'm 55 and would not want to be anyone but who I am right now.

I believe my best years remain ahead of me!

 

[littlecordelera]

The key is to end up with someone that makes you feel good inside

I'm always on the prowl for that.

I exchanged phone numbers with the guy, and I texted him today. We're meeting them for dinner this coming Saturday. This should be interesting.

And I really shouldn't be writing all this out here. It would be very embarrassing if one of them were to discover me on here and read the things I've written in various forums.

 

[littlecordelera]

I'm 55 and would not want to be anyone but who I am right now.

I believe my best years remain ahead of me!

I like who I am. I just don't like thinking about a wrinkled version of who I am. But I know it is inevitable.

And I hope my best years are ahead of me. I don't like that I am entering my 40's, but I get a lot of encouragement from these forums. I see so many posts that express admiration for "older" (God! Am I actually using that term to talk about myself?) women.

Wait. Am I "older"?

No. I'm pretty sure "older" doesn't start until 45.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

How old do I want to be?

Old enough to be wise, young enough to be enthusiastic.

Old enough to know, young enough to care.

Old enough to be capable, young enough to be comfortable.

Old enough to love, young enough to like.

Old enough to smile, young enough to laugh.

Old enough to plan, young enough to hope.

Old enough to fill a bikini, young enough to wear a Speedo.

Old enough to be interested, young enough to interest.

Young enough to be sure, old enough to be careful.

Young enough to be innocent, old enough to avoid gullibility.

Old enough to enjoy watching, young enough to be able to see.

Young enough to try, old enough to succeed.

Young enough to be strong, old enough to be gentle.

Young enough for causes, old enough for reason.

Old enough to remember, young enough to forget.

Old enough to nap without shame, young enough to sleep without effort.

Old enough for dignity, young enough for passion.

Old enough to have memories, young enough to make them.

Young enough to strive, old enough to heal.

Young enough for valour, old enough for moderation.

Young enough to talk about problems, old enough to talk about solutions.

 

[SissySalina]

I'm always on the prowl for that.

I exchanged phone numbers with the guy, and I texted him today. We're meeting them for dinner this coming Saturday. This should be interesting.

And I really shouldn't be writing all this out here. It would be very embarrassing if one of them were to discover me on here and read the things I've written in various forums.

It should not matter, it is best to always be yourself.
Hopefully what you post is truth and inner self and thus should cause you no harm.

 

[blackstallion21]

LIVE in the moment!

I am in my early 30s and I can't say that I wouldn't relive my 20's, but I can't say I am 100% having the time of my life, but I would say that the couple years of my 30's are the best time of my life so far... I've done more in these few years than I have in or at any time of my life. I finally reached down and grabbed my balls if you would and I'm growing up very well and I'm doing... THE MOST... lol in my 30's. Retirement... Travel... Relocation from my family for the first time in my life... I can say I'm Def the most happy I've ever been but SHIT AIN'T GOTTEN ANY EASIER IF THAT'S what you think I'm saying... LET ME LET YOU KNOW!

but I've said all of that to say this... LIVE IN THE MOMENT! Make these moments in your life better than the ones you've had in the past instead of waiting on things to fall at your feet! I'm learning that lesson right now! You're only as OLD as you feel! or as YOUTHFUL as you feel!

bs21

 

[blackstallion21]

love this...

Old enough to be wise, young enough to be enthusiastic.

Old enough to know, young enough to care.

Old enough to be capable, young enough to be comfortable.

Old enough to love, young enough to like.

Old enough to smile, young enough to laugh.

Old enough to plan, young enough to hope.

Old enough to fill a bikini, young enough to wear a Speedo.

Old enough to be interested, young enough to interest.

Young enough to be sure, old enough to be careful.

Young enough to be innocent, old enough to avoid gullibility.

Old enough to enjoy watching, young enough to be able to see.

Young enough to try, old enough to succeed.

Young enough to be strong, old enough to be gentle.

Young enough for causes, old enough for reason.

Old enough to remember, young enough to forget.

Old enough to nap without shame, young enough to sleep without effort.

Old enough for dignity, young enough for passion.

Old enough to have memories, young enough to make them.

Young enough to strive, old enough to heal.

Young enough for valour, old enough for moderation.

Young enough to talk about problems, old enough to talk about solutions.

LIT NEEDS A LIKE OR A LOVE BUTTON!

 

[littlecordelera]

It should not matter, it is best to always be yourself.
Hopefully what you post is truth and inner self and thus should cause you no harm.

You and I will have to disagree, Sissy. I don't think it is best to always be yourself, and I don't think it is best to always be truthful. I have learned that "discretion is the better part of valor," and that is especially so in matters concerning an unconventional sex life.

On the other hand, you have highlighted what was so refreshing about talking with the guy at the bar. He was brutally honest. He didn't talk about aging in romantic terms, he talked about its real effects and how it feels to be on the receiving end of those effects. I don't normally go around talking to people about aging, but he is the first person I have ever heard speak so candidly about it.

I am looking forward to meeting with them again. Aging talk aside, they were a fun couple. And this time we will sit at an actual table!

 

[oldasspussy]

I'm glad I found this! I am 52 & lately when I've vented about the changes I'm seeing I've been met with "everyone ages", "you look good for your age" or something equally stupid. I don't want to hear that.

Aging sucks & the worse thing about it is you have no control over your skin wrinkling, hair thinning, body shifting or a whole slew of things I don't even want to mention.

 

[oldasspussy]

Whaaat?

No. I am never doing without sex. I refuse.

Really? You didn't talk to his wife very long, did you?


I've gone from wanting sex daily to a few times a week, but my current situation could have something to do with that.


I had no idea what women went through during 'the change' and after ... some of which can make sex painful & kill your libido. As much as I've always loved sex I never thought it'd happen to me & luckily, most of the things were only temporary. Really hoping the things that have lingered will also go away.

 

[Paul_Chance]

If I look at my life through each successive decade (I am fifty seven now), I have to say that each one has been better then the one before. I'm a firm advocate of the whole age gracefully point of view.

What do I mean by that? First, you accept that everything changes - you influence it where you can, how you choose too (diet, exercise, skin care, dental care, even cosmetic surgery if you want to). Do what you're comfortable with as far as appearance and general fitness are concerned. Don't obsess, don't strive for imaginary perfection, but be diligent and disciplined.

The real part of aging gracefully is what happens in the mind though - it's liberating. You've experienced a lot, so nothing really shocks you or surprises you or knocks you off center - and if it does you bounce back because you've already been to that rodeo.

As for dating and sex - yep, only got better, and keeps getting better. As you age and your lovers age, you've had the chance to learn to play your body and their body like a classical guitar. You know what all the parts are. You know what they do. You know how to play a thousand variations on them (and your lovers know the same).

One of the great things about dating in my fifties is there is just a minimal amount of game playing - everyone seems to know what they want, they quickly decide if you're going to be lovers, and you don't waste a lot of time when the chemistry is there.

 

[uncle easy]

I am 75 and very happy with my age. My wife is 71 and still turns heads when we go out. We have had a great life. We have been married 54 years and have never parted except by my job. I have no complaints about my age. I have had some very serious health problems but got through them. My wife has had lots of her internal organs removed. But we are still active out and about and in bed. So,,,, when the end comes i will slide in sideways yelling,,,what a ride. Hope all of you do the same. Enough said.

 

[CucumberLemonade]

I am nearly ending my twenties and I know I haven't had the best years yet. I don't fear aging, I want to grow old and acquire wisdom along the way but I know the journey will be long.

 

[littlecordelera]

Really? You didn't talk to his wife very long, did you?

No, I did not! But I will get my chance soon!

 

[littlecordelera]

One of the great things about dating in my fifties is there is just a minimal amount of game playing - everyone seems to know what they want, they quickly decide if you're going to be lovers, and you don't waste a lot of time when the chemistry is there.

Join the swing community and a person can learn to do this in their 20's.

Honestly, though, a person doesn't need to become a swinger to figure it out. They just need to learn how to be candid without being impolite.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Join the swing community and a person can learn to do this in their 20's.

Honestly, though, a person doesn't need to become a swinger to figure it out. They just need to learn how to be candid without being impolite.

I agree - I guess it was just the long train of my experience that, as I aged, the partners I selected (or selected me) aged and matured as well. My experience was that younger people tended to carry more expectation based baggage into relationships, more concerned with outward appearances or societal norms/mores. As people (a very general statement), get older I think they resolve more of the gray areas in both their own lives and in their approach to sexuality.

 

[sam0659]

I'm 49. In some ways, I'm in a great place because I have great friendships with others my age and have wonderful relationships with my children, as all three are in their teens. But in other ways, I'd love to have 10 or 15 years back because I'm without a partner (separated three years ago and divorced two years ago) and I'm starting a new occupation. I fear that I won't find another partner and will die alone. Finding a new love is complicated for me because I was diagnosed with a serious mental illness in recent years and I've gained a lot of weight. And, I'm nearly 50. I will eventually lose many of the pounds, but the stigma still is there. I cross my fingers that the stars will align and I will find a soulmate and be a happy older person.

 

[littlecordelera]

...but the stigma still is there.

I hope you will put that behind you, because honestly, it wouldn't matter if you were physically perfect, someone will find a reason to hate you. Hate is our favorite pastime.

 

[littlecordelera]

Since I indicated earlier that we were meeting this couple for dinner, I feel like I owe it to this thread to summarize that meeting, at least in some small way.

That was last night, and we had a very, very good time. He is exceedingly funny, with an almost painfully deprecating humor, and she is confident and independent and rather witty herself. We talked for long after we were finished eating, and by the time we were ready to leave, most of the restaurant had cleared out. I won't write about his views on aging, it's all opinion anyway, but it does concern me that my initial posts may have characterized him as depressed. But there is nothing depressed about him. He's just a guy who's not afraid to talk about the elephant in the room. He doesn't want to be twenty again. He wishes he could go back to the physical body he had in his mid-forties. With his humor and his candor, there is a lot to like.

We hugged and said our goodbyes in the parking lot, and when my husband and I reached our car, I looked back. The other couple was walking toward their car holding hands.

And I thought my husband and I were the only ones who were so mushy.

 

[oldasspussy]

I'm 49. In some ways, I'm in a great place because I have great friendships with others my age and have wonderful relationships with my children, as all three are in their teens. But in other ways, I'd love to have 10 or 15 years back because I'm without a partner (separated three years ago and divorced two years ago) and I'm starting a new occupation. I fear that I won't find another partner and will die alone. Finding a new love is complicated for me because I was diagnosed with a serious mental illness in recent years and I've gained a lot of weight. And, I'm nearly 50. I will eventually lose many of the pounds, but the stigma still is there. I cross my fingers that the stars will align and I will find a soulmate and be a happy older person.

Recently I watched a tedtalk & they were discussing the impact food has on mental health. At the time I had been on a vegan diet for several months due to health issues & I have to say I agreed with what they were saying. My moods were more stable & the bouts of depression I had been having ceased. Maybe that's something you could try? A little exercising & mindfulness will also work wonders!

 

[PuckIt]

Under one of my old iterations, I said; "Old enough to know better, but young enough to say 'Fuck it' and do it anyway."

Sadly, I've progressed to the point I'm still young enough to think about it but old enough that thinking "Fuck it" is about as close as I get.

 

[JaneRamsey]

It's all relative

I think some people feel invisible because while they age, they're still looking from attention from the same younger crowd they still mentally feel a part of.

I had a very Buddhist upbringing so the idea of aging and death to me has never really been a buzzkill, and honestly I'm in better shape and look hotter now in my 30s than in my twenties when I was eating garbage food and out of shape, so it's all kinda relative...

 

[JaneRamsey]

I am 75 and very happy with my age. My wife is 71 and still turns heads when we go out. We have had a great life. We have been married 54 years and have never parted except by my job. I have no complaints about my age. I have had some very serious health problems but got through them. My wife has had lots of her internal organs removed. But we are still active out and about and in bed. So,,,, when the end comes i will slide in sideways yelling,,,what a ride. Hope all of you do the same. Enough said.

Amen!