How to convince someone into proper BDSM who just likes it lighter

[Fingerfuxs]

Find a munch in your area , have lunch or a meal with new friends. Ask questions , network , learn , discover what it’s like “behind the bleachers “ @ the show and tell instead of the internet.

you might be surprised how well she responds to your research and effort put forth on her behave.

Google fet munch near me , good luck

 

[LittleSwitchy]

Alright
Well she wants anal but to go slow and i say lets go rough and hard. She is okay with pee play done during anal and suggested even getting more dirtier... i am still thinking about it...

I’d suggest going slow with LOTS of lube. Maybe even get her a dialator plug set.
If you go rough and hard the first time with her. That might be your last time. If you think it’s a great idea to go rough and hard. Let her do that to you. Let me know how that works out for you.
I’ve had women tell me they will never do anal again. Reason being the first time they did it was not a good experience.

 

[lil_jenni]

If you go rough and hard the first time with her. That might be your last time.

Yep. Ease into it. My first time was not good, and I didn't.try again for some time. Some women who are hurt the first time never try again. I'm glad I did, because I'm a big fan now. But it could have gone the other way if it had been as bad as with the first guy.

 

[Elizasboss]

Find a munch in your area , have lunch or a meal with new friends. Ask questions , network , learn , discover what it’s like “behind the bleachers “ @ the show and tell instead of the internet.

you might be surprised how well she responds to your research and effort put forth on her behave.

Google fet munch near me , good luck

Ummm i see..

 

[LittleSwitchy]

It might not be that entertaining.

It was early in our relationship. He was being overly gentle and courteous and romantic. I said something along the lines of, "Don't be a sloth, Baby. Sloths are cute and all, but they take too damn long to do anything. Sometimes I just want to be fucked hard and fast." I didn't tell him then that it's quite often that I want it hard, fast, rough, etc." Then I told him if I want him to be a sloth, I'd tell him..fast forward a bit after I'd convinced him that BDSM play will be fun and fulfilling, I suggested we needed a single safe word meaningful to us because I didn't think I needed to use green/yellow/red. He responded with 'sloth' base on that earlier conversation. I agreed, but also resolved only to use it at absolute need... And we've never gotten there yet, and I doubt we do..

Lol.
Hearing that story. If I were him. I’d laugh hearing… Sloth.
And for the record. Laughing, joking, playing around while you are intimate with a partner. It’s all part of the fun. Shite people enjoy yourselves.

 

[Elizasboss]

O

I’d suggest going slow with LOTS of lube. Maybe even get her a dialator plug set.
If you go rough and hard the first time with her. That might be your last time. If you think it’s a great idea to go rough and hard. Let her do that to you. Let me know how that works out for you.
I’ve had women tell me they will never do anal again. Reason being the first time they did it was not a good experience.

H no no its not the first time... she has been doing anal for couple of years or more now

 

[Elizasboss]

Yep. Ease into it. My first time was not good, and I didn't.try again for some time. Some women who are hurt the first time never try again. I'm glad I did, because I'm a big fan now. But it could have gone the other way if it had been as bad as with the first guy.

Its not the first time she has been doing anal from quite a while

 

[LittleSwitchy]

EB “ I think I may call you that cause typing out the full name. I’m bound to typonese it badly “

Can I ask.. how much experience do you have in lifestyle? How much does she have? Not a judgment at all.

 

[Elizasboss]

You can call me James and her name is Eliza we call her Eli

And well for sex we both r pretty well experienced but for bdsm only a tiny bit

 

[Fingerfuxs]

Ummm i see..

Of course you are getting good advice here on this part of the internet too. my bad if my post read anything other than helpful. My metaphor game is Krass at best and reads like I’m a Curmudgeon lol
I’m not
my bad

 

[LittleSwitchy]

You can call me James and her name is Eliza we call her Eli

And well for sex we both r pretty well experienced but for bdsm only a tiny bit

Thank James
There’s some reading I’d suggest for you and her.

1 screw the roses give me the thorns
2 look up a guy by name of Jay Wiseman. His writings are online and should be easily found. He covers lot of topics in the lifestyle. Both dominant and submissive.
3 a book for your reading James. SM101

 

[Elizasboss]

Thank James
There’s some reading I’d suggest for you and her.

1 screw the roses give me the thorns
2 look up a guy by name of Jay Wiseman. His writings are online and should be easily found. He covers lot of topics in the lifestyle. Both dominant and submissive.
3 a book for your reading James. SM101

Alright i will definitely look up these

 

[Fingerfuxs]

Anal rule of thumb for the beginner. size matters most , don’t bite off more then you can *Toss and if she asked you to go first ………………well BOB’s her girth brooks friend watch out , Peggy Lou she’s coming in hawt.

 

[Elizasboss]

Anal rule of thumb for the beginner. size matters most , don’t bite off more then you can *Toss and if she asked you to go first ………………well BOB’s her girth brooks friend watch out , Peggy Lou she’s coming in hawt.

She is not a beginner at all mate

 

[lbcarr]

Check out The Loving Dominant by John Warren for yourself, or Submissive Training - 23 Things You Must Know About How To Be A Submissive A Must Read For Any Woman In A BDSM Relationship (Womens Guide to BDSM) - by Elizabeth Cramer. There are also beginners instructional books out by Rebecca Chestain, Michelle Fegatofi that are more targeted to the submissive. Some other authors with books out for the Dominant are Peter Masters. and Dr Robert J. Rubel. Also doing checklists can be fun and very informative. In my opinion the most important thing to a successful BDSM relationship is to follow the basic yet most important rules. Keep it safe, sane, and consensual. The fact that you cared enough to ask for help is a good start.