How to tell my partner I am writing erotica?

[MsNatalie99]

I'm not married, so forgive me if this is inappropriate. I think you should just tell her. After all, it's a free site, you can post your work anonomously, and it allows you to be as candid as you like in a subject many established couples shy away from. Assume you found out your partner had been an auther on the site for years with dozens of loving wives and cuckhold stories, maybe with characters that resembled people you knew. Not implying they do, but that would be uncomfortable.

Point being, it would be better they hear about the writing from you, had access to your published works, and you're able to explain iffy elements in context. I had a friend who wrote in a number of catagories, both gay and straight. He was a religious and conservitive guy, but it allowed him an outlet for suppressed desires, as well as, the chance to understand different ways of thinking. Once more, not married, don't know shit, but have found that secrets in relation ships are rarely healthy.

 

[curioustxn]

My wife and I have been together for about 6 years now, and in that time I have opened up a lot about things I enjoy that I have never told anyone before, specifically role playing scenarios and fetishes. A few years ago I found this site, and have become a reoccurring reader, and passive writer.

In the last couple weeks I have been taking the writing a bit more seriously and hope to eventual post something. The issue is however, that I work from home full time and my wife does not work. My desire to let her know does not come from a desire to replicate the scenarios specifically, but so that I do not have to jump for the minimize button everytime the office door opens, or lie and tell her I have to finish up work after dinner, when I am really coming down to write erotic stories.

The kicker is that I am an animator by trait and she is aware that I attempted to produce “3D animate porn” just last year. So you would think it would be easy to tell her about this. But my progression of letting her know of certain fetishes I am interested in that I feel are more extreme took a couple of years to work up to, gradually testing the waters and asking for a little more at a time.

As always, I know the answer is to communicate, but I wonder if any of you have anything interesting to share about why or how you told your partners, or why you DIDN'T or DON’T tell them.

Write a story just for her, and let her read it. Then ask her how she likes it.

 

[hisplaceof]

I'm not married, so forgive me if this is inappropriate. I think you should just tell her. After all, it's a free site, you can post your work anonomously, and it allows you to be as candid as you like in a subject many established couples shy away from. Assume you found out your partner had been an auther on the site for years with dozens of loving wives and cuckhold stories, maybe with characters that resembled people you knew. Not implying they do, but that would be uncomfortable.

Point being, it would be better they hear about the writing from you, had access to your published works, and you're able to explain iffy elements in context. I had a friend who wrote in a number of categories, both gay and straight. He was a religious and conservatives guy, but it allowed him an outlet for suppressed desires, as well as, the chance to understand different ways of thinking. Once more, not married, don't know shit, but have found that secrets in relation ships are rarely healthy.

but have found that secrets in relation ships are rarely healthy.


I throw in the - secrets in relationships NEVER are healthy, but you do have to be wise in how you present yourself, how much to tell as a time, sort of like those people who like to stick their toe in the water, then a foot, a calf, thigh, ect. Wade carefully and slowly do not overwhelm her with a great big splash of cold water - I think you get the pun & simile.

As one poster said - he has a religious wife and he writes some pretty gnarly stuff. He'd have to be as tactful as Sun-Tzu. That poor dude would have to dial it so far back he might need to figure out what the root source is of why he writes what he does before even going near the water. One can always put on blinders to the truth but it still remains: secrets in relationships NEVER are healthy, it's going to bite you in the butt somehow.

I like the, write her a story suggestion.

 

[EarlyMorningLight]

I’m so lucky to have a partner who is a published erotica writer. We’ve even collaborated on a few stories. She read my latest story last night. First one I’ve written in years, actually (busy/stressful job & a toddler have gotten in the way of recreational writing).

It led to a very fun evening.

I can’t imagine being in a relationship where we couldn’t share these parts of ourselves with each other. But I also know that I’m in the minority with my situation.

 

[TempSpawn]

I’m not writing yet just reading but there is no way my man ever gonna understand.

Have the same issue with my SO.

 

[Livelovecum]

My wife and I have been together for about 6 years now, and in that time I have opened up a lot about things I enjoy that I have never told anyone before, specifically role playing scenarios and fetishes. A few years ago I found this site, and have become a reoccurring reader, and passive writer.

In the last couple weeks I have been taking the writing a bit more seriously and hope to eventual post something. The issue is however, that I work from home full time and my wife does not work. My desire to let her know does not come from a desire to replicate the scenarios specifically, but so that I do not have to jump for the minimize button everytime the office door opens, or lie and tell her I have to finish up work after dinner, when I am really coming down to write erotic stories.

The kicker is that I am an animator by trait and she is aware that I attempted to produce “3D animate porn” just last year. So you would think it would be easy to tell her about this. But my progression of letting her know of certain fetishes I am interested in that I feel are more extreme took a couple of years to work up to, gradually testing the waters and asking for a little more at a time.

As always, I know the answer is to communicate, but I wonder if any of you have anything interesting to share about why or how you told your partners, or why you DIDN'T or DON’T tell them.

My wife knows I am writing but I have not directed her to my work. I have sent her links to other people's stories on literotica that I have enjoyed, but she hasn't read anything. As far as my personal work goes I can guarantee that my wife would compare herself unfavorably to many of my fantasy women. So I have not pushed her.

 

[curioustxn]

My wife and I have been together for about 6 years now, and in that time I have opened up a lot about things I enjoy that I have never told anyone before, specifically role playing scenarios and fetishes. A few years ago I found this site, and have become a reoccurring reader, and passive writer.

In the last couple weeks I have been taking the writing a bit more seriously and hope to eventual post something. The issue is however, that I work from home full time and my wife does not work. My desire to let her know does not come from a desire to replicate the scenarios specifically, but so that I do not have to jump for the minimize button everytime the office door opens, or lie and tell her I have to finish up work after dinner, when I am really coming down to write erotic stories.

The kicker is that I am an animator by trait and she is aware that I attempted to produce “3D animate porn” just last year. So you would think it would be easy to tell her about this. But my progression of letting her know of certain fetishes I am interested in that I feel are more extreme took a couple of years to work up to, gradually testing the waters and asking for a little more at a time.

As always, I know the answer is to communicate, but I wonder if any of you have anything interesting to share about why or how you told your partners, or why you DIDN'T or DON’T tell them.

Write her a story personally. Write it in a way that will turn her on personally, then let her read it. If she likes it, tell her that you have been practicing. Turn her on, and get her involved in the creation process. The two of you could have a lot of fun creating and exploring new ideas. Don't lock her out, get her involved.

 

[LustyScribe]

I revealed to my wife a while back that I was writing erotica. She had essentially shut me out sexually for several years. I basically was feeling abandoned. She brought up sex one day, and she knows I read stories here. I've tried to get her to find something, ANYTHING that turns her on, in the hopes we might find something that could spark passion. Nothing, for ages.

Then something sparked her. No idea what, but she at least started talking about sex. I was still quite jaded, though. I did tell her I was writing erotica, but just for individuals on here, something particular to the person. She asked me to share some with her, and I have very cautiously done so, changing names where needed. (Some I will never share with her. She could not handle some)

Then I wrote one for her. Unfortunately, she still can't or won't tell me what would really turn her on, but this was at least a start, and she liked it. I'm hoping it is a sign of a true defrosting of the frozen tundra of our sex life. I actually AM a good writer, and it is part of my "real" life. I just need something from her to make it hot for HER. At least now we have a starting point: My keyboard.

So my advice is to tell your SO. Ask them if you can write FOR them. Do your best work for them; use all the inside Intel you have gained with time.

Good luck!

 

[t_h_seacrest]

I find this so laughingly fascinating as I am in a similar boat. Wife knows I like to write erotic stuff but would probably rather I did not. So mostly keep it to myself.

But what I find fascinating: if in a mixed company setting topics of discussion can acceptably go into all kinds of gruesome grisly events, wars, famine, disasters, on and on... but if someone would ask why I'm not particularly talkative and I blurted something like, "well I'm thinking about a story I'm working on, that leans towards nonconsensual incestuous lesbian bdsm..." Nope. Wouldn't go over too good. Back to war, disasters, famines.