How to write for women as a man?

[Randy_Dreamer]

For me, make sexy men. The vast majority of male characters on lit are totally limp. They're bland and boring. There is a severe lack of confident male characters who can turn on a woman or take her. Male characters very seldom initiate or elevate the (sex) action. They seem to sit around and wait for the skanky unicorn ho to climb them. The vast majority of male characters are subby by default, and by that I mean that they're not really genuinely subby, they just default to sub because they have zero skills/game and/or are very lazy, and even the minority of stories where the man is fairly hot, the woman invariably does most or all of the heavy lifting, which is especially disappointing (for me anyways and I know a number of other women feel similar).

Give your men skills like fixing a car, playing a musical instrument, surfing, flying a helicopter, etc, and display those skills. Don't just mention them in passing. You'd be surprised just how sexy a plumber or even an IT guy can be if he knows how to get the job done and is not afraid to roll up his sleeves to do it.

Physically, it all depends on the tastes of the reader but you might be surprised at how much leeway you get in physical appearance if the man acts sexy. Make him confident, diligent. If she gives him every green light imaginable and he still makes no move, he does not deserve any pussy no matter how rippled his abs are. There are no ideals here. I prefer a lithe man with nice hair and clean shaven face but many many women like a bald dude with a beard and a barrel chest. You can't please everyone. Personally I do not care about the size of his genitals. Some women do care, but usually girth is far more important than length.

Leaders tend to be sexier than followers. This doesn't mean that he has to be alpha-1, but even a common foot soldier who loyally follows orders should at least have his own mind and be capable of making decisions when he needs to. Personally, I love rebels, artists, those who dare (to the point where I still might be turned on even if they don't treat me all that well), but everyone's tastes are different.

I would not worry about trying to find the right kink that most women like. Women's kinks vary just as much as men's, so just write the kinks that you are into or wish to explore. There will be women into whatever kink you share.

Thank you, lots of actionable advice here!

 

[Randy_Dreamer]

If you're trying to attract a female audience, give them romance.
As @BellaBestia said, it's important for your character to be three dimensional.

From my experience, your MMC should be strong and capable, but broken enough that the MFC has something to fix. There needs to be emotional conflict strong enough to evoke a response, happy or sad, from the reader. Probably best to have things end happy.
It's tropey and stereotypical, but woman feed off the feelings of what they read as much as the graphic content. While it can be as explicit as you want to make it, your readers are big girls, they can handled explicit, the sex should delve into the feelings of the characters while they're fucking or doing whatever else you want to have them do. Also stereotypical, but let your MMC play the hero a little and save the 'damsel in distress.' This doesn't have to be Liam Neeson Taken level hero, just enough to reinforce that the MMC is capable of protecting her.

If you want the ultimate answer, Read Romance. One of my favorites is Barbara O'Neal.

Thank you, will check it out

 

[Randy_Dreamer]

Why are you trying to please "women readers?" You should be aiming to please "readers." That is best done by writing characters who are real people and then having them interact in organic, believable ways.

Shooting for just one gender of audience strikes me as both futile and, frankly, a bit creepy.

Trying to appeal to both, not just women, but being new to erotica and not a woman I was just curious to see if there were any particular things that generally, women like to read, or loathe. Of course, I'm aware that everyone is different regardless of gender, but just trying to do some audience research to see if any general themes come up. Also aware that my story will (hopefully) appeal to members of both sexes, and be hated by members of both, and that audience gender may not be the defining factor against which my story is loved or hated.

 

[Randy_Dreamer]

I won't speak for OP, but he's probably trying to please both genders and as a man already has a pretty good idea how to please the male readers so he's asking advice on how to even things up? Most stories on lit are male fantasy after all.

Spot on.

 

[Randy_Dreamer]

This.

Write interesting, three-dimensional characters. Put them in a setting conducive to the story you want to tell. Make sure your POV character is capable of driving the story forward, not just reacting to the events happening all around them. Spelling and grammar are always graded. Give me something to root for that your main character is trying to accomplish or bring about, even if they ultimately fail, beyond bedding their partner(s). Sex is more about emotions than the physicality, and what happens immediately before and immediately following the act is far more interesting and important than the bedroom gymnastics and engineering blueprints you use to describe the different ways Tab A enters Slot B.

All of those rules can be broken once you have learned them backwards and forwards and have displayed your mastery of them to the reader's satisfaction. You will never satisfy every reader, so you might as well satisfy yourself.

Well said, cheers!

 

[Randy_Dreamer]

Hi... I believe your approach is flawed...
Writing to please readers of any sort is a mistake.
Every single person who reads your story is different. There is no magic recipe.

By trying to please a small, and lets be honest. You are talking about less than 20% of the Literotica audience (IMO).
By trying to please a certain element of your available audience. You will make your characters stereotypical. You will lose the individuality of what you're trying to say...
My advice is... And this advice was given to me. It's not a new concept. Write what you want to write. Say what you want to say.... Enjoy writing, learn to love or at least like your story, your characters. Write something you are happy to stand behind...
It's not about content, it's about quality. Write a great story and people will enjoy it.

Cagivagurl

Wise words, thank you!

 

[Jorunn]

I agree with the others on making your story both interesting and well-developed. And while the "Ken" to a "Barbie" can vary, I'll give you some generalities I used for the MMC in my male POV Summer Lovin story. He meets up with a 30-ish woman full of energy.

He's 56, about a 25 year difference. If the man is older, the difference should tighten. He's fit from doing work on his new farm. He's handy, from fixing a 1960's truck, remodeling an old farmhouse, and fixing a windmill. He wants to preserve the past, rather than tear it down. He's tender, since he planted tulips as well, and is setting up a nature preserve on his farm. He is not Superman, so he has a vulnerability, physical or emotional, such as being deaf. I don't need a lot of physical description - it's his POV anyway. I'll fill in the details in my mind. You don't even have to mention cock size, just say the FMC enjoyed the sex.

If the FMC comes on to him, he should show some reluctance before jumping into bed. He has to let the FMC know she is sexy, with his words or eyes or erect cock, from her face to hair to body to eyes. He thinks the FMC is so pretty he even started a painting of her. He makes her a crown of fresh flowers. He's creative in bed, including outdoor sex at night, or even inside a bed box. He's even willing to dance naked on the lawn outdoors at midnight, under the moonlight.

He should be a good story teller, even if the stories are just about simple things like markets, favorite foods, places they have both been. He should be funny, but in a subtle way. If the FMC gets too uppity, he should put her in her place, by perhaps dropping her into a muddy field. He has good neighbors, and is a good neighbor by shopping at local markets and helping out. He has money, but does not flaunt it. If he isn't rich, then I would make the age difference closer, give more male physical description, and it would help if he had a sailboat, mountain cabin, farm, etc rather than a basement flat in the city.

Wrap this guy up in an interesting story, in an interesting setting, and it would appeal to me!

 

[Lifestyle66]

Hello, Dear Authors and Readers,

Looking for advice. I'm a man writing a novella from the first person standpoint of a man. I would like to hear from ladies, or any author that has had a good review from ladies, which features of erotica appeal to women?

Like, ladies, do you want to hear about big cocked confident studs owning their sexual partners? Or is there more to it? How can one write from a male POV and be an enjoyable read for the ladies?

Any advice welcome, thank you
Randy

You're asking for the magic answer for a quick fix to write the perfect novella ... for only your second try at writing a story?

You have one short story posted here on LitE. It did reasonably well in Erotic Couplings at 4.35. And you received some good and bad comments.

Maybe instead of trying your hand at writing the greatest novel of all time, you might try just ... writing ... more. Try writing a short story with a female character in first-person POV and see the reactions. Write more short stories with the characters as you understand them and analyze the reactions to your writing style.

You'll learn a lot more by writing your own stories and adapting your writing based on the feedback you get in the comments and opinions of others. Ad by learning through trying, you might be better able to write the longer novella length story with more consistency.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

In that regard though, can you think of a kind of story where most of the dynamic comes from the female protagonist, but it still works for you?

What do you feel a male character would have to be like, to make interesting and alluring "prey"?

A man who doesn't act like he's prey.

A man who is so hot (not just physically) that he demands attention so that I would have jump him before someone else does.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Ask a hundred women and you will get a hundred different answers.

Ask a hundred men and you'll get two-hundred different answers.

 

[Trionyx]

Please make the female characters complex, with needs and thoughts and feelings of their own. Also interpersonal relationships are really really important to me as a woman. I want to not only read about the physical intimacy, but the emotional intimacy and the dynamics between characters.

Don’t forget to include their insecurities, foibles and dreams. Women, like men, aren’t perfect and readers looking for more than just a stroke story will appreciate character development as the story progresses.

 

[AG31]

Don’t forget to include their insecurities, foibles and dreams. Women, like men, aren’t perfect and readers looking for more than just a stroke story will appreciate character development as the story progresses.

Well, some women. I like my erotica (not my other reading) in the form of "simple erotica." That's a "stroke story," with the requirement that attention is paid to good writing.

 

[Hypnobitch01]

Don’t forget to include their insecurities, foibles and dreams. Women, like men, aren’t perfect and readers looking for more than just a stroke story will appreciate character development as the story progresses.

Wholeheartedly agree. I love a character who grows and changes throughout the story.