I love being told what to do...does anyone like to be told or to tell?

[VelvetDarkness]

I haven't read very far back so, apologies.

To me, the whole point of dominance is to create a situation that leads inexorably to a conclusion that is already agreed upon (or simply dictated by me, depending on circumstances), yet allow enough room for impromptu playing that is not scripted. I am not an actor, but a real person with real desires that needs another real person with complementary needs to play with, not as a performance, but as a fulfillment of mutual needs.

Master and I do this to a degree but equally, I understand and accept that if he wants to flog me for his own pleasure he will do so. It's not necessary for him to orchestrate a transgression on my part specifically so he can 'punish' it. Of course, it does happen but it's a more light hearted part of our play rather than the MO of our relationship and/or sexual scenes.

Our relationship (and this is in no way a criticism of your style of dominance, Conhed) is based on his ownership of me as property and use of me as property. If he wants me to be a naked footstool, that's what he gets. I don't need to feel that it's either a punishment or a form of play. He wants so he gets. He owns me like he would own a car ~ I may have needs and limits but outside of those things, he uses me however he sees fit.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

The most important thing for a sub to know is that Master has been made aware of everything that is relevant. The second most important thing is to know that Master has taken all into account, but will sometimes demand more than can be given, due to any number of reasons, (While many subs may believe in the infallibility of their Master, I can assure you that every true Master is completely aware of their own limitations and fallibility. This is one of the most important criteria for true Mastery of self, yet a true Master will never allow weakness or insecurity to show. This self control is what allows one the confidence to control another.) but, the usual reason is to test a limit. When this is done, it is critical that the sub give feedback when the situation is new or exceeds previous boundaries. Master must KNOW the truth, never guessing and never acting without information.

This I completely agree with.

Master never considers it TFTB for me to furnish him with information. It is my responsibility to ensure that the decisions he makes on my behalf are informed ones. We used to be a lot more careful and deliberate at ensuring this but since we have settled into our roles of Master/slave I trust him to do more without at least informing me and he knows me well enough not to need to seek my opinion a lot of the time. Important decisions we always make together. He always requires my input, even though he has the final say. It's good for us because it makes me feel included and valued as his possession and as an intelligent person with valid input to give in my own right.

As regards sexual limits, I have a safeword that I may use for specific, medical reasons but outside of that, my limits are set by Master. There are certain things in which neither of us have an interest that will remain mutual limits and some things I would love to try are off the agenda because he had no interest in them. Master is good at reading me and I know he would never cause me permanent physical or psychological harm. It's not in his interest to damage his own property. Master will seek my thoughts on things in a non sexual setting before we try them, though often he just instructs me to do/have done whatever it is he wants.

 

[conhed]

I haven't read very far back so, apologies.



Master and I do this to a degree but equally, I understand and accept that if he wants to flog me for his own pleasure he will do so. It's not necessary for him to orchestrate a transgression on my part specifically so he can 'punish' it. Of course, it does happen but it's a more light hearted part of our play rather than the MO of our relationship and/or sexual scenes.

Our relationship (and this is in no way a criticism of your style of dominance, Conhed) is based on his ownership of me as property and use of me as property. If he wants me to be a naked footstool, that's what he gets. I don't need to feel that it's either a punishment or a form of play. He wants so he gets. He owns me like he would own a car ~ I may have needs and limits but outside of those things, he uses me however he sees fit.

I do not take that as criticism, but as validation. I did say that the scene could be directed by me alone "depending on circumstances" and the circumstances that you describe fit perfectly within the scenario I had in mind when I stated that.

I have had the extraordinary pleasure of a short time TPE relationship where the female slave's limits were actually beyond my desires, and it was a constant struggle to push myself beyond what I believed to be SSC. That struggle was the direct cause of the short duration of the relationship. It was very difficult for me to realize that my ability to push her limits was, well, limited! Of course, I was happy to help her find a Master that did not share my distaste for her specific needs. This could not have happened without communication, and is the perfect example of why communication is so important. The last I heard, they were very happily committed to a lifetime together as Master and slave.

Just to be clear, she craved to be used as a toilet, and to be bled, both of which are simply outside anything that I find erotic or rewarding. So, one may ask, what DO I find erotic? OK, fair question.

I like to use a whip, belt, paddle, cane, flogger or crop to induce tears and pleas. I like to require nudity for private audiences. I like to require sexual favors to be offered to others that I choose. I like requiring butt plugs and dildos to be in place during trips outside the home. I like to forbid orgasm without permission and then do everything in my power (and I am pretty good at this, or so I am told) to stimulate that orgasm without giving permission. I also like to give permission to orgasm, but then keep the stimulus at too low a level to achieve it. Of course, this is done for my pleasure, and sometimes, watching a sub having an orgasm on command is my pleasure.

I like clamps and other pinching instruments that hurt even worse when removed. I like piercings that allow me to painfully restrict movement by attaching them to well chosen anchors.

I like to choose the sub's clothing when I allow it to be worn.

I am cruel with bondage and tickling, and a piece of ice and a blindfold are also favorite tortures of mine. I like TENS units that are attached to the most sensitive parts and pushed to max, the pain on a sub's face is one of my great turn-ons. I like to keep insertion toys in the freezer, and, in winter, to subject a slave/sub to the cold weather while bound (this is very dangerous and extreme care must be taken, you have been warned!) and to use cold water and a stiff brush to clean my property.

I like suspension bondage and I also like to have my sub/slave wearing (heavy!) chains and nothing else. I like to keep a sub in bondage that requires that all life functions are under my control (except breath control, that one bothers me for some reason) and have them eat only from my hand (I also like to use sexual juices as sauce for a slaves food, sometimes that is the only flavoring that is added!) and for the sub's excretory functions to be on my schedule. I like to require a sub/slave to administer pain to him/herself while I watch. I like to have them perform orally while I lash the invitingly offered back and rear.

All of the above are for my pleasure, not things I do for punishment.

For punishment, I use whatever means is the most hated by the sub/slave. This can range from longer term denial of orgasms, to achingly strict, but non-constricting, long term confinement such as stocks or a cage. Sometimes, the punishment is as simple as the removal of my presence. The sub/slave might be subjected to hours of hated music or video (the worst episode of the worst comedy played over and over for hours, or the most annoying commercials similarly repeated!) or sensory deprivation while bound or confined. For a slave that had a serious problem remaining still, I once tied her to a bed with some fairly loose chains, and then some tight thread, so that the thread would be broken if any movement occurred. The punishment for breaking a thread or more was 10 minutes per thread of TENS unit stimulation to her vagina, at max power. I did nothing to her during her test. It only took three rounds of one hour each to teach her the value of following orders. Forty minutes of electro-stimulation after the first round, and only ten after the second were the punishments that she received. (It was actually four ten minute sessions with five minute breaks between them.) Her most hated punishment? Electric. She hated it so much that she once pulled a muscle in her arm avoiding a violet wand that wasn't even turned on. (Her admitted greatest fear? A cattle prod, and, yes, I know how much they hurt, I worked on a farm when I was young and was on the receiving end on more than a few occasions. They will make you MOVE!)

If a sub enjoys something, it isn't a punishment. If I enjoy it, it isn't necessarily a punishment. I will do what I enjoy because I enjoy it, and one of the things I enjoy is to use psychology as well as pain and pleasure, and sometimes, all of them together to get my pleasure. That is the best part of telling a sub what to do, the feeling of power that comes from being obeyed. That isn't a physical pleasure, it is a mental one. But I require mental arousal as well as physical, and telling someone what to do as a means to my pleasure is a part of what I am as a Dominant.

The most beautiful sight in the world to me is a freshly flogged or whipped sub, in chains, begging me to allow him or her to give me pleasure. The marks and the tears serve my needs. Especially if the flogging was administered while the sub was unbound, but ordered to remain still.

But I still don't want to damage my property. I want it to be available for my pleasure again and again. So I am careful and attentive. This is not weakness, it is my selfish desire to preserve what I own.

The key to this is that the sub must want to be under my control. I will test that desire as a matter of lifestyle, but the test will take some time, and I am the final judge. And sometimes, my desire is that the sub have a job and their own home, in which case my control may extend to such things as budgets and visitors. Again, circumstances vary, it is my job to adapt, since I am in control. The sub need only follow orders.

I enjoy giving them, and creativity is rewarding.

Regards, and may you be on the best side of a warm, red butt.

conhed

 

[conhed]

This I completely agree with.

Master never considers it TFTB for me to furnish him with information. It is my responsibility to ensure that the decisions he makes on my behalf are informed ones. We used to be a lot more careful and deliberate at ensuring this but since we have settled into our roles of Master/slave I trust him to do more without at least informing me and he knows me well enough not to need to seek my opinion a lot of the time. Important decisions we always make together. He always requires my input, even though he has the final say. It's good for us because it makes me feel included and valued as his possession and as an intelligent person with valid input to give in my own right.

As regards sexual limits, I have a safeword that I may use for specific, medical reasons but outside of that, my limits are set by Master. There are certain things in which neither of us have an interest that will remain mutual limits and some things I would love to try are off the agenda because he had no interest in them. Master is good at reading me and I know he would never cause me permanent physical or psychological harm. It's not in his interest to damage his own property. Master will seek my thoughts on things in a non sexual setting before we try them, though often he just instructs me to do/have done whatever it is he wants.

I am happy to hear that you have found such trust and fulfillment, and that my words manage to ring true to you. It is true that as experience with a partner grows, we have less need to communicate about limits.

The only caveat to this, in my experience, is when the lifestyle (or play) becomes stale and/or predictable. Unless, of course, this is what both (all) desire. I personally prefer unpredictability, but that is a preference of mine, not something that I think everyone should adhere to. Such unpredictability means that the need for communication may lessen, but it never goes away.

When your place is right and the partner(s) is/are right, this BDSM lifestyle is a most rewarding one. Congratulations on having found that. It is good to hear of your contentment.

Warmest wishes,

conhed

 

[idpthrtnpanties]

I like being told what to do by a guy standing..

in front of me with a nice hard cock while I am on my knees wearing a pair of panties. Even better would be a few guys standing in front of me, that is just a fantasy at this point.

 

[extm_pleasure]

oh enjoyment.

I love being dominated. Lastnight my partner did one hell of a job! I felt pleasure and I felt attractive(sexually). When he used a stern voice to tell me to lay down my knees went to jelly. Using his hands forcefully(sp) aginst my soft skin... oh my g-d.
The only thing is he sees me as an equal and will not let me call him master or sir. He has called me his little girl, and I enjoy that he sees me that way.
Are there any other names besides master and sir that still show my submissiveness and show his dominance?


Thanks

 

[LibraStud]

in front of me with a nice hard cock while I am on my knees wearing a pair of panties. Even better would be a few guys standing in front of me, that is just a fantasy at this point.

My golfing foursome would love to help out. Do you drive a golf cart?

 

[LibraStud]

I love being dominated. Lastnight my partner did one hell of a job! I felt pleasure and I felt attractive(sexually). When he used a stern voice to tell me to lay down my knees went to jelly. Using his hands forcefully(sp) aginst my soft skin... oh my g-d.
The only thing is he sees me as an equal and will not let me call him master or sir. He has called me his little girl, and I enjoy that he sees me that way.
Are there any other names besides master and sir that still show my submissiveness and show his dominance?


Thanks

My Lover

My cock

 

[MaleSlut47]

I certainly do love to be told what to do to get myself off by a hot demanding woman. It usualy starts with chat and I offer to strip for her on my web cam.I slowly remove robe revealing a G tring encasing my cock, then face away from the camera showing my butt. I slowly slide the G string down my legs and step out. This makes me feel exposed, sexy and very hot. Turning around with a raging hard on I await her commands to play with it for her. Hopefully she will make take myself to edge of orgasm and drip precum several times before finally demanding me to cum, after a lot of begging and pleading on my part. One woman actually had me give myself a facial and I loved it. Any women who enjoy this feel free to contact me for a show !!

 

[bisexualsmoker]

To be ordered to perform better and be humiliated...Mmm....yes

 

[coatcheckgirl]

Look at me stalking old threads...

SIGN me up for some good directions! In fact, once I get back from vacation, I'll have all kinds of time to follow them... plus a brand new webcam... hmm....

Something about a woman giving the directions hightens the hot, too, you know...

 

[Jades]

One of my biggest turn ons, is to be told to cum...and to not cum.

 

[celticsunspiral]

It excites me to be told what to do, it doesnt have to be in a sexual situation. For a dominant, intellegent man to make decisions/request obediance of not only my body but my mind, just does something for me. Thinking that he is waiting for me to let him know how I did and me hoping that he will be pleased by my completion and report.

For me it is also a huge mental thing and not just "Fuck yourself with your toy and don't cum for x time" I have to be challenged in a way that is mentally stimulating as well. That does not mean that every task is a huge mental challenge, but I need to feel that I am being dominated by a strong intellegent man for me to fully feel the pleasure of submitting.

I hope this made sense.

 

[Feelfreetotouch]

I like to tell.

But I do what I'm told when it comes to her.

 

[kinkyknickers]

Ah, this one didn't mean much to me until the other day. My dom was telling me (making me) call him "Master" and I totally skitz out.
I HATE being told what to do. I don't like to be physically or emotionally dominated (I used the word "manipulated", that didn't go over well at all, but I refused to go back on it).
I only like to be physically dominated and humiliated as in called "slut"or "whore" etc.
Problem is, I'm a pain slut, but only when I ask for it. I don't like to be told I'm doing something wrong, I don't want to be punished.
I can't put myself into a "role" so I don't feel that the person/people I love should be constantly telling me I'm doing something wrong, or I'm not good enough.
Problem is, for him, (we'll call him Bob) Bob would never beat a woman, so he has to turn himself into Master to administer a beating.
I'm know I'm confusing the fuck out of him because his wife Minxie (my girlfriend) is a very happily enslaved sub and has been so for 10ish years. Like I said to him, she asked for a master, I never did.
I am not a split personality, I'm the same all over, and I can't handle it when other people take on a persona.
I want to be hit and humiliated because I like it, not because it's punishment. Otherwise it hurts.
Does that make sense to anyone?

Gah! KK

 

[Shadow Thief]

I'm a very free spirit, and I do not tolerate someone else trying to control me, or tell me how to live my life. I become downright hostile in that situation.

But for some reason, when it comes to sex, I fucking love being under someone else's control. I recently found my perfect Mistress, who loves to tie me up and/or handcuff me, and tease and torture me in all the right ways. And when she finally lets me cum, it's more intense than I ever could have imagined.

 

[Uncensor3d]

I love being told what to do by women.

 

[her_soffie]

I find great joy and fulfillment in following the directions and desires of my Mistress. It is a simple mantra. If it brings her pleasure, it is my pleasure.

 

[Sunflowerrr]

i love it when a man takes charge of me, makes me obey his every command.

 

[Anomily]

My most vivid and longest held fantasies have been about being controlled during sex. I have had a little experience, but not much. The past 3 months have been a long distance relationship for me and my bf. In 6 days that distance disappears and if I know anything for certain it is that my experience will very quickly expand. Just thinking about him telling me what to do, how to do it, anything he can come up with... oh man, if only I could just go to sleep and wake up Sunday.

 

[girlofurdreams]

it depends...

in RL i'm naturally dominant and have a very strong personality... contrarily i am a pleaser and the get most pleasure from serving my partner and doing anything he/she asks... if they want someone submissive that's what i am... if they want to be my bitch then i'll ride them for all it's worth, but i would prefer to serve, obey and worship my partner.

i'm open to almost anything (hard limits excluded) and extremely versatile, and exceptionally talented... i'm kinda like mary poppins, absolutely perfect in every way lol

..or so i've been told lol.

 

[CalibratedUnrat]

Love to control and command... is there any other way?

 

[Guilan]

newly admitted sub. been trying to find a dom or someone more dom than me for a relationship. wanting to learn more and experience more myself. and I'm moving to the washington state area soon, if I can get my visas

 

[her_soffie]

i'm naturally dominant and have a very strong personality... contrarily i am a pleaser and the get most pleasure from serving my partner and doing anything he/she asks... if they want someone submissive that's what i am... if they want to be my bitch then i'll ride them for all it's worth...

i am a chameleon... and a great actress, but rarely need to force myself to do anything as i get off on my partner getting off... i'm open to anything and extremely versatile, and exceptionally talented... i'm kinda like mary poppins, absolutely perfect in every way

..or so i've been told lol.

"A woman for all reasons" so to speak. I'll take one from column A....that'll suit me fine.

 

[TerragonSix]

Truthfully, most of the time, in terms of the BDSM side of it, I like to dominate. But, there's that little part of me that doesn't mind being told what to do for a change. Just for a change of pace.

In terms of non-BDSM activities, I'm always open to suggestions. I neither dominate nor submit.

I don't know, haven't done a session in awhile. That might change. Thinking of getting a new toy for the woman, maybe make things a little more interesting.

Might put some really good thought into that one.