sexycaz22
Literotica Guru
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- Aug 2, 2006
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Thank you, N!Yay!! I'm really glad to hear it!
Things are finally looking up!I need your advice...please help!
- Thread starter sexycaz22
- Start date
Things are finally looking up!
sexycaz22
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2006
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- 3,307
Firstly, an update on the ongoings with me and my guy - it have not happened yet! It seems that we are having some difficulties with us being available at same time!
But good news.....we finally decided on a date and finally is going to get to play together this Friday and oh, boy I am sooo looking forward to it and exploring my PYL side. I am so excited!
Now, I have some difficulties on me being a pyl and a PYL and it doesn't make a real sense in my mind, so I thought why don't I share my ramblings in my mind with you guys and seeing if you could help me clear my mind a bit on my ramblings!
As a pyl, I desire on pain, I love being used as a pain slut. I love being spanked, flogged and I really hope to be caned very soon. I love being tied up, and love some breast torture, would like to explore both areas some more. I also would love to explore sensation play (i.e. hot/cold; feather and things like that) and I would like to explore roleplays too, i.e. dressing up as a doctor/patient; copper/criminal and things like that. I look at these activities as bedroom activities (but can be done outside the bedroom!!) However, I don't consider myself being a submissive outside the bedroom. Once, I thought I could be on my knees for someone, when they come home, I would cook for them, I would do domestic chores for them etc, and hand over some controls to them, but as I explored some more, and did some more readings, etc, I found myself focusing on the activities and the submission to a Top in a play scene is suitable for me, but anything further than that, I am not fairly sure. But again, like I said, this all is very new to me, and currently this is where I am at, when I am being a pyl.
However........as a PYL, I could see myself as a Domme, having a submissive or two in my life, where I would have a lot of control over them, inside the bedroom AND outside the bedroom. I could see myself giving them some domestic chores, and telling them to do it. I could see myself telling them to come home at a certain time. I could see myself using them in a sexual way or a objective way, or in any way I desire, actually (expect animal play and other common hard limits) and this bothers me because as a pyl I could not see myself doing all these things for someone else (expect in bedroom! *wink*) I feel that I am a hypocritical as I don't practice what I preach from a PYL view as a pyl.
So, anyone having trouble feeling like this or had some experiences as a Switch, I would welcome some of your thoughts.
But good news.....we finally decided on a date and finally is going to get to play together this Friday and oh, boy I am sooo looking forward to it and exploring my PYL side. I am so excited!
Now, I have some difficulties on me being a pyl and a PYL and it doesn't make a real sense in my mind, so I thought why don't I share my ramblings in my mind with you guys and seeing if you could help me clear my mind a bit on my ramblings!
As a pyl, I desire on pain, I love being used as a pain slut. I love being spanked, flogged and I really hope to be caned very soon. I love being tied up, and love some breast torture, would like to explore both areas some more. I also would love to explore sensation play (i.e. hot/cold; feather and things like that) and I would like to explore roleplays too, i.e. dressing up as a doctor/patient; copper/criminal and things like that. I look at these activities as bedroom activities (but can be done outside the bedroom!!) However, I don't consider myself being a submissive outside the bedroom. Once, I thought I could be on my knees for someone, when they come home, I would cook for them, I would do domestic chores for them etc, and hand over some controls to them, but as I explored some more, and did some more readings, etc, I found myself focusing on the activities and the submission to a Top in a play scene is suitable for me, but anything further than that, I am not fairly sure. But again, like I said, this all is very new to me, and currently this is where I am at, when I am being a pyl.
However........as a PYL, I could see myself as a Domme, having a submissive or two in my life, where I would have a lot of control over them, inside the bedroom AND outside the bedroom. I could see myself giving them some domestic chores, and telling them to do it. I could see myself telling them to come home at a certain time. I could see myself using them in a sexual way or a objective way, or in any way I desire, actually (expect animal play and other common hard limits) and this bothers me because as a pyl I could not see myself doing all these things for someone else (expect in bedroom! *wink*) I feel that I am a hypocritical as I don't practice what I preach from a PYL view as a pyl.
So, anyone having trouble feeling like this or had some experiences as a Switch, I would welcome some of your thoughts.
Netzach
>semiotics?
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2003
- Posts
- 21,732
Wise, I dunno. Really unevenly distributed, sure.
There is nothing but nothing wrong with being less than perfectly balanced as a switch, into the same activities across the board. Some people are, and I kind of envy them.
The things I would do to other people that I'd never in a million years consider hot done to me are a long list indeed. Kicking my genitals? You're fucking kidding me.
A question: would it bother you as much if you were willing to do a lot of things as a bottom that you would not want to try as a top?
For me, realizing that what turns me OFF as a top turns me ON as a bottom was a large part of any resurgence of interest in bottoming that I've had, that I'm a much lighter weight on the bottom than I am on the top, that that's OK, it's not some kind of hypocrisy to be rectified, that light sexual bedroom submission is hot for me but boring for me to do to others and I need masochistic freaks for my own purposes. That my off switch is flicked when the sex is not happening, but I would not tolerate someone who's not submissive when they're not having sex with me. It's just how I roll.
But for me it was really key and liberating to come to see myself as Dominant with side interests rather than as "a switch" which I think triggers an idea of 50/50 in my own thinking as well as other people's.
There is nothing but nothing wrong with being less than perfectly balanced as a switch, into the same activities across the board. Some people are, and I kind of envy them.
The things I would do to other people that I'd never in a million years consider hot done to me are a long list indeed. Kicking my genitals? You're fucking kidding me.
A question: would it bother you as much if you were willing to do a lot of things as a bottom that you would not want to try as a top?
For me, realizing that what turns me OFF as a top turns me ON as a bottom was a large part of any resurgence of interest in bottoming that I've had, that I'm a much lighter weight on the bottom than I am on the top, that that's OK, it's not some kind of hypocrisy to be rectified, that light sexual bedroom submission is hot for me but boring for me to do to others and I need masochistic freaks for my own purposes. That my off switch is flicked when the sex is not happening, but I would not tolerate someone who's not submissive when they're not having sex with me. It's just how I roll.
But for me it was really key and liberating to come to see myself as Dominant with side interests rather than as "a switch" which I think triggers an idea of 50/50 in my own thinking as well as other people's.
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catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
Just have to say, you are one of the most thinking and open people here. I love you open yourself to anything and everything if and when you feel it warrants it or could take you another step on your journey. What I love even more is you share it with us so others can also take steps forward, not to mention feel comfortable in their own skins. I think nearly everyone here has learned at least one thing from you. Just had to say it.
Catalina
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
Wow, thanks cat. That really was a warm fuzzy that cancelled out some of waking up at 3:30 am from a head cold.
YW...there are many more superlatives which came to mind but I didn't want to embarrass you with too much warm fuzzy, though it sounds as though you could use it right now. Hope you get better soon.
Catalina
MasterPhoenix
The Phoenix is hunting
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2006
- Posts
- 2,164
For any given session, never forget the power and value of your own two hands...
Ask rose about the barehanded spnkings I give...
Ask rose about the barehanded spnkings I give...
chauderlos
myself, at least
- Joined
- May 12, 2005
- Posts
- 1,328
YW...there are many more superlatives which came to mind but I didn't want to embarrass you with too much warm fuzzy, though it sounds as though you could use it right now. Hope you get better soon.
Catalina
An unique and distinctive sense of humor that spices Netz's comments with a light flavor that renders them the more so insightful.
With apologies to Caz for the hijack.
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