I want vs. I'll provide

[SweetApple8]

I like this virtually read my mind and body concept, why bother with mere words?

I can't relate to someone who uses the wrong words. Just my preference. Nothing personal.

 

[BiBunny]

I'm not adverse to most things. Especially if you use the correct spelling. It's minstrations.

I can't relate to someone who uses the wrong words. Just my preference. Nothing personal.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

It's lovely, isn't it?

Great pic, too.

 

[SweetApple8]

It's lovely, isn't it?

Great pic, too.

You both have hurt me so much, I think I may just end my membership. Or how about the two of you? The average "understanding" vs. "smart ass" qualities is sure to increase.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

You both have hurt me so much, I think I may just end my membership. Or how about the two of you? The average "understanding" vs. "smart ass" qualities is sure to increase.

Well sweetheart, you kinda make yourself look silly when you bleat about people using correct words and you yourself were using incorrect words in your bleatings.

It's always prime comedic fodder.

Also, understanding and smartass are *not* mutually exclusive concepts.

 

[SweetApple8]

Well sweetheart, you kinda make yourself look silly when you bleat about people using correct words and you yourself were using incorrect words in your bleatings.

It's always prime comedic fodder.

Also, understanding and smartass are *not* mutually exclusive concepts.

I'm not Australian, so I don't understand "bleatings" and "fodder". But I do understand that I'm not your sweetheart.

mwhaaa.

 

[Que]

I'm not adverse to most things. Especially if you use the correct spelling. It's minstrations.

I gather that you haven't any submissive tendencies at all do you? Either that or you enjoy topping from the bottom so much that you don't mind at all being completely off-putting to anyone with any dominant tendencies at all?

If we are going to bog down in minutiae...I typed and then re-edited the above twice on an early version droid X. In a high ambient noise environment. So voice to text was out...

Also lits interface isnt very friendly to my so called smart phone, the most I could see was the second to last line I typed..I was well aware of the typo, and such things erp me too. I tried for about 20 minutes to gather up that line to a part of the screen where I could edit it...I realized that all but the most anal retentive would see that for what it was an obvious typo and breeze past it.

Could you possibly make yourself less attractive with your pettiness?

I was a little off-put by your initial post, thought I'd play along..sometimes you find intelligence in a little spunky resistance...sometimes merely spunk.

 

[callinectes2]

I'm not Australian, so I don't understand "bleatings" and "fodder". But I do understand that I'm not your sweetheart.

mwhaaa.

Now you are just embarrassing yourself.

 

[NgxOutjie]

That's curious. Why is it you expect a man to read your mind and not a woman? It's less likely the man will get it. Most men need a fucking sign telling them "hey! I like to get off too ya know!" or something like that. It's very very rare I have ever met a man who could just read me. Or woman for that matter.

Hmmm, i would then pose the following question to you...did you and your partner/s really know each other? A true Dom is able to sense what his sub needs and use that to guide his training of her. Also, withholding satisfaction could be used as a form of punishment in some cases or it could be used as a training technique for example training her in orgasm control. Which ever way you look at it, a Dom who can't read his sub should not be a Dom at all.

 

[seela]

Hmmm, i would then pose the following question to you...did you and your partner/s really know each other? A true Dom is able to sense what his sub needs and use that to guide his training of her. Also, withholding satisfaction could be used as a form of punishment in some cases or it could be used as a training technique for example training her in orgasm control. Which ever way you look at it, a Dom who can't read his sub should not be a Dom at all.

Oh my. People here, myself included, don't really subscribe to the idea of True Dom over here.

Reading a person's reactions is a completely different thing than reading a person's mind, which is impossible, btw. It's really difficult to get your needs met, if the reactions to one activity should be the only way to hint anything about your wants and needs to your partner. Sure, it can work in a smaller scale, but it can be really hard to make the connection from one thing to another in the bigger picture.

Let's assume my True Dom is really into spanking and I like it just as much, so my reactions to his spanking are enthusiastic and he knows he's doing good and what not, but it's not enough to get me off. But how am I supposed to signal, in a situation like that, that I'd like to try some watersports or domestic service or foot worship at some point as well? Wouldn't talking be the most efficient way?

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Oh my. People here, myself included, don't really subscribe to the idea of True Dom over here.

But, but seela! Twue Doms are awesome, magical, mystical beings whose fingers are on the pulse when it comes to making poor, innocent, needy little subbies quiver and buckle at the knees into a puddle of ever so satisfied goo.

http://theimpersonals.com/content/uploads/2011/07/wizard_fail2-300x183.jpg

All hail!

 

[seela]

But, but seela! Twue Doms are awesome, magical, mystical beings whose fingers are on the pulse when it comes to making poor, innocent, needy little subbies quiver and buckle at the knees into a puddle of ever so satisfied goo.

http://theimpersonals.com/content/uploads/2011/07/wizard_fail2-300x183.jpg

All hail!

LOL! I forgot that I only have to believe!

 

[NgxOutjie]

Oh my. People here, myself included, don't really subscribe to the idea of True Dom over here.

Reading a person's reactions is a completely different thing than reading a person's mind, which is impossible, btw. It's really difficult to get your needs met, if the reactions to one activity should be the only way to hint anything about your wants and needs to your partner. Sure, it can work in a smaller scale, but it can be really hard to make the connection from one thing to another in the bigger picture.

Let's assume my True Dom is really into spanking and I like it just as much, so my reactions to his spanking are enthusiastic and he knows he's doing good and what not, but it's not enough to get me off. But how am I supposed to signal, in a situation like that, that I'd like to try some watersports or domestic service or foot worship at some point as well? Wouldn't talking be the most efficient way?

You don't have to subscribe to that idea. But I'm pretty sure that you will soon realize...there are a LOT of guys/gals out there who call themselves Dom/Domme just to get some kinky sex. Then you get the few who live the lifestyle when they can and who are serious about the lifestyle, who research all aspects of it in depth and who know what they are doing. They are the True Doms/Domme

 

[seela]

You don't have to subscribe to that idea. But I'm pretty sure that you will soon realize...there are a LOT of guys/gals out there who call themselves Dom/Domme just to get some kinky sex. Then you get the few who live the lifestyle when they can and who are serious about the lifestyle, who research all aspects of it in depth and who know what they are doing. They are the True Doms/Domme

But being serious about the lifestyle and researching techniques, dynamics and everything else, and knowing what you're doing doesn't mean that you automatically know what goes on in another person's head. Just like being a really top notch Top doesn't mean you'll automatically know what goes on in another person's head, either.

That was the point I was trying to make. Being knowledgeable about the culture, or lifestyle, or techniques doesn't mean you're knowledgeable what makes the other person tick.

Then again, this is just my opinion based on my experience.

 

[Etoile]

You don't have to subscribe to that idea. But I'm pretty sure that you will soon realize...there are a LOT of guys/gals out there who call themselves Dom/Domme just to get some kinky sex. Then you get the few who live the lifestyle when they can and who are serious about the lifestyle, who research all aspects of it in depth and who know what they are doing. They are the True Doms/Domme

The objection to "True" is based on extensive experience with people who claim that their particular path is the only right way to do it. Which is, of course, folly. Old Guard is no "better" than Taken in Hand, which is no "better" than a couple who just enjoys some fuzzy handcuffs on occasion. So although what you say has validity, a better way to phrase it would be to refer to "lifestyle" doms rather than "true" doms.

 

[NgxOutjie]

But being serious about the lifestyle and researching techniques, dynamics and everything else, and knowing what you're doing doesn't mean that you automatically know what goes on in another person's head. Just like being a really top notch Top doesn't mean you'll automatically know what goes on in another person's head, either.

That was the point I was trying to make. Being knowledgeable about the culture, or lifestyle, or techniques doesn't mean you're knowledgeable what makes the other person tick.

Then again, this is just my opinion based on my experience.

Ok, i agree with you on that in a way, but think about the amount of trust that goes into a D/s relationship. How can you trust someone or expect them to trust you so completely without knowing the other person like the palm of your hand?

The key is communication. In my case a sub does have the opportunity to speak her mind when given the chance, provided its done respectfully. This gives me the chance to see her progress, what her needs are and also what I can do to improve her experience. By such communication you will get to know each other so well that you don't need words to communicate.

 

[NgxOutjie]

The objection to "True" is based on extensive experience with people who claim that their particular path is the only right way to do it. Which is, of course, folly. Old Guard is no "better" than Taken in Hand, which is no "better" than a couple who just enjoys some fuzzy handcuffs on occasion. So although what you say has validity, a better way to phrase it would be to refer to "lifestyle" doms rather than "true" doms.

Point taken, so for clarity... "True Dom", as used by me refers to the person, not to which 'doctrine' he follows.

There are no single, correct way to be a Dom or a sub. There are more than 6 billion people in the world, therefore there will be more than 4 billion philosophies about BDSM.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Ok, i agree with you on that in a way, but think about the amount of trust that goes into a D/s relationship. How can you trust someone or expect them to trust you so completely without knowing the other person like the palm of your hand?

The key is communication. In my case a sub does have the opportunity to speak her mind when given the chance, provided its done respectfully. This gives me the chance to see her progress, what her needs are and also what I can do to improve her experience. By such communication you will get to know each other so well that you don't need words to communicate.

I trusted my partner before I knew him *that* well. Something inside me said 'don't worry toots, this will be fine' so I went with that. And it was.

But for me, trust comes before the knowing. I have to trust someone enough to feel safe with them, before I even allow them to know me that completely.

 

[NgxOutjie]

I trusted my partner before I knew him *that* well. Something inside me said 'don't worry toots, this will be fine' so I went with that. And it was.

But for me, trust comes before the knowing. I have to trust someone enough to feel safe with them, before I even allow them to know me that completely.

That's awesome! Glad you found the person that makes you happy

 

[NgxOutjie]

Reviewing the BDSM peronals, it's not hard to figure out that those who say "I want" spend most of their time bumping their ads to the top because no one responds.

HONESTLY phrase (if you feel it) as "I'll provide", regardless of whether you're a D or s, I think you'll find more success.

IMH sub O.

Getting back on topic...yes, phrases like 'i want' can seem like the guy just wants something and that he's not willing to give something back, however, that might be misleading. Not all guys are b@stards.
Personally, i like to use the phrase 'i prefer' when referring to my personal preferences. This does leave some flexibility in any situation. Another term that i like to use when looking for someone or something is 'I would like to find...' Guess that's better than 'I want'...

 

[abby4u2]

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