I would like feedback on the only poem I submitted

[UnderYourSpell]

Who knew so many babies are on u-tube farting - fodder for future parental blackmail?

Instead of bringing out the photo album for the new girlfriend they can now be directed to the hilarity of the cringe making fart

 

[EroticOrogeny]

Speaking of photo albums, my brother scanned quite a few slides etc. from when we were going out and sent DVDs to the rest of us kids.
Lots of pictures from Christmases past. Many of those toys (not just mine) seem so familiar.

 

[vrosej10]

Instead of bringing out the photo album for the new girlfriend they can now be directed to the hilarity of the cringe making fart

*shudder* That reminds me of one of the horrors of my childhood...When I was six there was a show called Birthday Calls. If you sent in a photo, the announcer would show it and wish you Happy Birthday. I was six. The one thing I wanted for a present was to get that birthday greeting. Well my mother sent in my picture and it was on tv and I never forgot it BECAUSE she sent a naked picture of me in the bath and everyone in my class saw it because we only had one tv station locally at the time and it was played in the middle of the afternoon cartoons...This should explain a few things about me to those who wonder about my mental status...and this wasn't even close to the most embarassing thing my mother has ever done to me...

 

[UnderYourSpell]

mothers have a lot to answer for

 

[vrosej10]

mothers have a lot to answer for

My mother is the poster child for that statement. She has strong Asperger's tendencies and has little to no social awareness. She does bizarre and wildly inapporpriate things in public and dresses like a bag lady (she actually usually carries up to eight handbags, i shit you not). My autistic son is starting to recognise her social faux pas and that is really the blind leading the blind (he's Sheldon from Big Bang Theory to a tee).

 

[UnderYourSpell]

My mother is the poster child for that statement. She has strong Asperger's tendencies and has little to no social awareness. She does bizarre and wildly inapporpriate things in public and dresses like a bag lady (she actually usually carries up to eight handbags, i shit you not). My autistic son is starting to recognise her social faux pas and that is really the blind leading the blind (he's Sheldon from Big Bang Theory to a tee).

In a way your mother then has some excuse my mother had no such excuse at all for what she did to me

 

[bronzeage]

Everyday, every person in the world is doing the best they can manage. No one wakes up in the morning and says, "Today, I am going to torture my children and scar them for life."

We all work with what we have and sometimes it falls pitifully short of what we need. True maturity comes when we forgive our parents for their flaws and the flaws they imprinted on us.

This does not mean we have to give them any special treatment, beyond what they deserve.

 

[EroticOrogeny]

Sometimes its not the mother who leads the boy astray.
When I was 5, at my birthday party, a girl convinced me to take off all my clothes!
I believe my mother was relieved when that family moved away...

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Everyday, every person in the world is doing the best they can manage. No one wakes up in the morning and says, "Today, I am going to torture my children and scar them for life."

We all work with what we have and sometimes it falls pitifully short of what we need. True maturity comes when we forgive our parents for their flaws and the flaws they imprinted on us.

This does not mean we have to give them any special treatment, beyond what they deserve.

pardon me saying so but unless you've walked in my shoes you don't know what the hell you are talking about and if that makes me immature so be it

 

[HAMFAN]

wanking and fucking is the same for many men

Don't take it personally. Wanking is an old and popular hobby and i guarantee the comment arose from a practitioner himself (given that 99% of men masturbate and the other 1% are liars).

From the stories, its clear that many men wank into their women (the whole cumslut/ fucktoy thing) ... and women are just as likely to use men to wank off themselves (the whole slut thing).
One question raised here (arrrggghhh the judgmental tone) is ... do women wank as much as men?
And if they say they don't ... are they liars too?
Just asking.

 

[vrosej10]

From the stories, its clear that many men wank into their women (the whole cumslut/ fucktoy thing) ... and women are just as likely to use men to wank off themselves (the whole slut thing).
One question raised here (arrrggghhh the judgmental tone) is ... do women wank as much as men?
And if they say they don't ... are they liars too?
Just asking.

I was just making a joke, sorry if it offended.

Statistically the answer is no (I've heard between 22% and 55%, I think it's higher than that) but again the women could be lying. From personal experience I would say that those that don't by twenty probably will never do it and those who do it are commited. It's not as clear cut as it is with men. Men in general seem to view masturbation as a second class activity, done only when something else is not available. Women on the other hand may masturbate as their primary means of orgasm and during sex. I would say of the women I know who admit to doing it and in my experience women will generally only admit it to close friend, there is much more variation in technique etc than with men.

 

[EroticOrogeny]

I was just making a joke, sorry if it offended.

Statistically the answer is no (I've heard between 22% and 55%, I think it's higher than that) but again the women could be lying. From personal experience I would say that those that don't by twenty probably will never do it and those who do it are commited. It's not as clear cut as it is with men. Men in general seem to view masturbation as a second class activity, done only when something else is not available. Women on the other hand may masturbate as their primary means of orgasm and during sex. I would say of the women I know who admit to doing it and in my experience women will generally only admit it to close friend, there is much more variation in technique etc than with men.

As far as I know, my wife doesn't, so she's very glad when I take care of her that way. And she never touches herself when we're making love.

 

[vrosej10]

As far as I know, my wife doesn't, so she's very glad when I take care of her that way. And she never touches herself when we're making love.

Women are way more variable in this regard than men.

 

[HAMFAN]

Women are way more variable in this regard than men.

No offense, no offense in the world (welcome to Hamlet and to one aspect of HAMfan). Really meant however

It must be the multi-orgasmic thing; many or at least more ways to get off. Men are more channeled, it seems to me (which fits both physiology and consequent psychology; I am not a "gender is solely or mainly a social construct" kind of guy - it doesn't sit with all my reading, experience or thinking).
A good joke
God came to Adam and Eve and said "I have two gifts for each of you to pick from. The first is the ability to to piss while standing up ..."
Adam rushed in quickly "Wow, that's great. I really want that"
"OK" says God and turns to Eve "You'll have to make do with multiple orgasms"

 

[UnderYourSpell]

As far as I know, my wife doesn't, so she's very glad when I take care of her that way. And she never touches herself when we're making love.

and I bet she'd love to know you put THAT on a public porno messageboard!

No offense, no offense in the world (welcome to Hamlet and to one aspect of HAMfan). Really meant however

It must be the multi-orgasmic thing; many or at least more ways to get off. Men are more channeled, it seems to me (which fits both physiology and consequent psychology; I am not a "gender is solely or mainly a social construct" kind of guy - it doesn't sit with all my reading, experience or thinking).
A good joke
God came to Adam and Eve and said "I have two gifts for each of you to pick from. The first is the ability to to piss while standing up ..."
Adam rushed in quickly "Wow, that's great. I really want that"
"OK" says God and turns to Eve "You'll have to make do with multiple orgasms"

The ending I heard was that Eve had to make do with the brains

 

[vrosej10]

Everyday, every person in the world is doing the best they can manage. No one wakes up in the morning and says, "Today, I am going to torture my children and scar them for life."

We all work with what we have and sometimes it falls pitifully short of what we need. True maturity comes when we forgive our parents for their flaws and the flaws they imprinted on us.

This does not mean we have to give them any special treatment, beyond what they deserve.

pardon me saying so but unless you've walked in my shoes you don't know what the hell you are talking about and if that makes me immature so be it

I am kind of in the middle with this situation because I can understand both of you. my mum is hopeless but well intentioned. If I sat down with her and explained what she did wrong, she still wouldn't get it but she would feel bad for making me feel bad. I think she was way too immature when she had me I think.

My father on the other hand was an abusive son of a bitch who put a great deal of effort and intention to deliberately emotionally cripple me and my siblings so he could control us and steal every bit of money or happiness her could get from us as well as torture us for his own amusement. His actions beggar belief and was truly an evil person (I had nightmares after he died that he was still alive).

I think most parents who fuck their kids up mean well and are doing their best but failing. There is how a small but significant group who deliberately treat their kids badly and they should be punished severely. I don't know Under Your Spell personally or her situation so I can't say one way or the other which of these situations apply to her.

 

[teknight]

I would like feedback on the only poem I submitted.

Besides the list thing, which, for me, quickly got boring (I love to play with words and kinkify phrases when I'm "poetic") the self pleasure ending came out of left field.

But kudos on your expert hands!

Err...now I get it. You're masturbating...yourself even. That works, but the realization obviously wasn't immediate.