If you were the President of the Untied States,

[gauchecritic]

I can understand not being *for* gay marriage, but what's the point of being actively against it?

Read his lips. If you're not against it then you're for it. And boy are you for it.

Gauche

 

[sweetnpetite]

If I were President of the United States:

I would elimanate a legal drinking age. I would leave it to parents to teach there children how to drink responsibly, rather than sneaking off and getting drunk with your friends.

I would stop the war on drugs, and get addicts the help they need, rather than incarcerating them.

I would eliminate the "Child Protective Servises" which is currently nothing more than a legal way to terrorize your enemies. Child abuse would fall into the category of *if a crime is committed against a child, then the perpetrater shall be punished, and the children shall be properly cared for if the punishment causes them to be removed from there caretaker.* Really no one should have there kids taken away if they haven't done anything bad enough to be jailed for- and if they have, then they shouldn't be running free.

INstead of blathering about teaching a man to fish, and hand up's verses hand outs while cutting off any sort of help whatsoever, I'd *ask* people what sort of assistance would help them to be more self sufficient. (USually it's stuff like safe, trustworthy and affordable daycare.) I wouldn't punish people for being poor, or blame them, I would try to help them. "Welfare Recipiants" are people who diserve dignity, and usually want to have lives they can be proud of.

I'd cut spending in areas that recieve a lot of funding from other areas such as private donations and corporations, which Don't meet basic human needs, or improve the lives of children and families in important ways (IE- not higher education, which would meet the 1st criteria.) STuff like art museums, while important would come *after* making sure people are fed, housed and given health care. Art and music in public schools, however would be extrememly important, especially innercity and poorer schools were private funding for extracuriculars would be more limited.

I would focus on the family as a building block of society, and start making public places as accessable and freindly to a woman with a wiggly kid as they are to people in wheelchairs. (public bathrooms were daddy's can take there little girls, room for strollers on buses, ect.

I would focus on making neighborhoods safe rather than 'war zones' and I would see what I could do about people living on top of each other in tiny little cube shaped so called 'homes' I would make sure every child had a safe playground to play on. I'd also make sure that neigborhoods and schools had better equiptment, books, and materials than prisons do, and try to prevent crime BEFORE it happened. (I read that prisons can predict there population years ahead by looking at elementary school test scores. Let's start there.)

I would support an innitiative to increase understanding of world cutures and societies. With all the cable channels we have, it seems we in the US only see a tiny segment of even what's available in our own country, and everyone is so sickeningly 'the same' We seem to have less and less tolerance for anything different. Under my administration, we'd take the best ideas from all around the world, rather than always assuming that there is only one way (the way of 1950's AMerica)

I wouldn't let chiildren leave the first grade without being able to read *at or above grade level* and I would also support an initiative to help children learn to *love* reading. I beleive that it can be done


I'd make sure that sex ed was all inclusive, and considere to be a matter of national health consern, not a matter of national moral consern. In fact, i'd make it clear that an individuals morals are his consern and no one elses. My term would be governed by ethics- which deal with the way you treat other people, not what you do privatly that does not consern them- rather than morals.

I would also let it be known that SEX is GOOD FOR YOU!!!! ANd why. too many people running around saying "Sex Kills" and not enough pointing out the health benefits, or the fact that SEX is a biological drive, not /neccesarily/ an evil vice.

I'd get or give head anywere I pleased, and I would not appologize. The matter would be between me and my partner and whoever else might be directly involved.

I would do more, but I think my term is up. There's only so much one President can do.

Thanks for voting.

 

[shereads]

If I were President of the United States, I'd look at today's approval rating, and feel kind of bad; then I'd look at my war, and get depressed; then I'd wonder why my Vice President is always wanting to do stuff for Halliburton Industries, and what it's in for me; then I'd look at this statistic: 43 percent of voters polled now answer "yes" to the question, "Do you fear that a bread-winner in your family will soon become unemployed?" I might remember that this figure hasn't been that high since my dad was President.

Then I'd fire Karl Rove, un-appoint Attorney General John Ashcroft, reassign Rumsfeld to an office in Baghdad, have the Vice President arrested on charges of corruption, and resign out of shame.

 

[sweetnpetite]

Read his lips. If you're not against it then you're for it. And boy are you for it.

Gauche

And if two men can legally marry, what's to stop someone from marying a chicken?

(Bill O'Riely actually said something like this today on the view- and a lot of people actually believe that this rediculous analogy.)

 

[destinie21]

well we all know that once you let gay people get married the next step is beastiality.

lol I'm so bitter

 

[shereads]

And if two men can legally marry, what's to stop someone from marying a chicken?

(Bill O'Riely actually said something like this today on the view- and a lot of people actually believe that this rediculous analogy.)

I happen to be involved with a loving, intelligent chicken and if we choose to spend our lives together, I don't see why Bill Riley should care. It's okay, though; he's one of those cartoon chickens who wear pants and a little necktie, and has four-fingered hands in white gloves at the tips of his wings. He is sooo sexy, I call him My Big Cock. You're all invited to the ceremony.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I happen to be involved with a loving, intelligent chicken and if we choose to spend our lives together, I don't see why Bill Riley should care. It's okay, though; he's one of those cartoon chickens who wear pants and a little necktie, and has four-fingered hands in white gloves at the tips of his wings. He is sooo sexy, I call him My Big Cock. You're all invited to the ceremony.

You are something else and I am laughing my ass off!

If I'm really invited, I will certainly be there! But only if you promise we can do the Chicken Dance at the reception.

~lucky

 

[shereads]

You are something else and I am laughing my ass off!

If I'm really invited, I will certainly be there! But only if you promise we can do the Chicken Dance at the reception.

~lucky

It depends. If you're referring to the headless chicken dance, there's some social sensitivity there. Family tragedy. Long story.

At least I won't have in-laws this time.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

It depends. If you're referring to the headless chicken dance, there's some social sensitivity there. Family tragedy. Long story.

At least I won't have in-laws this time.

No headless dancing around your new beau, check. But I was referring to the silly one with polka music that makes you wiggle your ass on the way to the floor, followed by clapping and skipping in a circle as the music gets faster and faster.

Have you two decided on colors, yet? I think rubber chicken yellow and beak orange would be wonderful. Who are you putting in the ugly dresses? And when we throw the birdseed is he going to have to stop and graze while you wait in the limo?

~lucky

 

[Svenskaflicka]

well we all know that once you let gay people get married the next step is beastiality.

lol I'm so bitter

Hey, don't play innocent! We KNOW what you like to do with pussies and chicks!

 

[Guest]

My bunny asked me to marry him. I swore I'd never do it again, though. He's sulking now. I think I'll buy him a new toy.

Perdita

 

[lucky-E-leven]

My bunny asked me to marry him. I swore I'd never do it again, though. He's sulking now. I think I'll buy him a new toy.

Perdita

Well if you change your mind, I think it'd be great to have a double wedding:

Sher and Chickenhead (not sure of his name)
Perdita and Petya

Right after the chicken dance we could do the bunny hop!

~lucky (hey wait a minute...I'm supposed to be marrying Perdita)

 

[destinie21]

Hey, don't play innocent! We KNOW what you like to do with pussies and chicks!

lol
meouch that was fowl

 

[Guest]

Right after the chicken dance we could do the bunny hop!
~lucky (hey wait a minute...I'm supposed to be marrying Perdita)

You make me laugh loads, always good in a mate. So you'd better get your delicious arse to San Francisco before George closes us down. (Petya can stay in his cage until he learns to accept you.)

P.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

You make me laugh loads, always good in a mate. So you'd better get your delicious arse to San Francisco before George closes us down. (Petya can stay in his cage until he learns to accept you.)

P.

P lovely,

I live to make you laugh, but my ultimate goal is to make you larf (if I can as it seems the only two that can do that are Pops and Joe).

I'll be there as quick as possible, but I'll be disappointed if you decide to cage your bunny in my presence. As far as Petya is concerned, he will love me!

~lucky

p.s. George can my ass. I'll whisk you away to Europe if I have to and we can honeymoon in Venice. (I was just there in October but haven't felt right since I left.)

 

[Guest]

E! You were in Venice just a few months back and you didn't tell me!? Fuck. (Of course.) I feel utterly myself there, no where else.

You do make me larf, I generally only use the expression with the UK folk. To tell you the truth, Gauche makes me larf best, as only gauche men can. Can you be gauche, Luck?

I'll start revealing you to Petya tonight, will break it to him gently while giving him bits of mango and bunny pretzels.

Shall we wear matching nipple shields?

betrothedly, P.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

E! You were in Venice just a few months back and you didn't tell me!? Fuck. (Of course.) I feel utterly myself there, no where else.

You do make me larf, I generally only use the expression with the UK folk. To tell you the truth, Gauche makes me larf best, as only gauche men can. Can you be gauche, Luck?

I'll start revealing you to Petya tonight, will break it to him gently while giving him bits of mango and bunny pretzels.

Shall we wear matching nipple shields?

betrothedly, P.

P! I was in Venice recently and there I fell in love. With the city of course. It was wonderful and I shall make many happy returns. I have not yet had my gaucheness rated, but I'd guess I'm on the bottom end of it But I love a good challenge and will hone my skills, daily.

I think you are the only person alive that could make mango and bunny pretzels sounds sexy, thus you are the one for me! We'll discuss any matching 'equipment/attire' via PM okay?

anxiously,
lucky

This photo from my own camera, on a bridge over the main canal.

 

[sweetnpetite]

Well if you change your mind, I think it'd be great to have a double wedding:

Sher and Chickenhead (not sure of his name)

I think it's Foghorn Leghorn

 

[dee1124]

He's back...He's ready...There's no constitutional prohibition against a third NON-CONSECUTIVE term...

Sorry, sher, but there is. Article XXII reads, "No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice ..." (italics mine). Sucks, but there it is.

Hmm ... but if he runs as Kerry's VP and then Kerry resigns ...

 

[SeaCat]

Ouch, my belly hurts now.

I'm loving this. My post made people think, and showed me just how good the humor is here. It's just too bad the politicians don't read this, and think like us. If you read the posts you'll see some common threads in it, and see that we have been able to reach some interesting balances. I'm not as harsh as I posted, I just used these ideas as a way to get people thinking. (Cutting parts of people off is not to my liking, although there are some ideas I do have that would make people cringe, being the recipient of injuries from both a drunk driver and a rapist.)
It's just too bad our world leaders can't see what their people think.


Cat